‘Giving up horses’, anyone done it?

[Wildfyre]

Has anyone given up and walked away? How did you go? We’re you a more serious rider or more of a weekend for pleasure kind of rider?

I’m expecting my second child In a couple of months, and trying to contemplate what things might look like on the other side.
I’d describe myself as an advanced amateur, still have a day job, but have ridden and produced a number of horses to the low-middle end of FEI Eventing levels.
I’ve always needed and enjoyed the drive of a competition or new level to work for, I’ve never really liked ‘just riding’ and couldn’t see the point if I wasn’t working towards some end goal.
I’m certain I won’t have time for the eventing scene, but I’m very fortunate that I do have the finances to support horses. I’ve considered trying other disciplines that aren’t quite as time heavy as eventing, but not feeling overly inspired.

Even the thought of washing and preparing a horse at 5am feels just too hard, and it’s all just feeling like a chore that I resent, I’m wondering whether I just give it away for a while and see if I find the motivation to even try to do it again.
Anyone else felt similar?

 

[MrsMozart]

Gave up for about two years.

But, I'm back. Sold house. Bought land. In it, both figuratively and literally speaking, up to my neck in them now ??

Good luck with everything!

 

[Winters100]

Yes, several times when time or other circumstances did not allow. I would say don't view it as giving up forever, it is something that you can come back to at any time. Good luck with the new addition

 

[Red-1]

I gave up for 5 years. I concentrated on my career, bought a house, got married, got injured, wasn't fit for a while, got better... grew up really!

When I started again I ended up working with horses, eventing to low FEI, buying land, pretty much full on.

5 years off was good for me.

 

[Flicker]

I haven’t totally given up, but i wont be owning a horse for a good while - got my fingers very burnt and just need a break from vet bills and hassle. I still ride friends’ horses. I am very fortunate to have a friend who is currently quite pushed for time and have a weekly lesson on her horse to keep him on track. This arrangement works really well for me.

I have made the decision that I will only buy again when I am in a position with work to have a slightly less hectic job and have saved a few grand for a vet bill fund.

 

[jhoward]

Yes I did a few years back, I have to say itn took a while but there's a lot I don't miss....rain/mud dirty bedding stick around your face from the wheelbarrow lol...
And the tie...I do not miss the 2/3 times must go to the horse!

I have always had horsey friends so have been able to ride and get a horse fix still ( right down to paying someone else's vets bill) so not owning has been made easier that way.

 

[The Fuzzy Furry]

I did for nearly 5 years, found loan homes for 2 and sold the last 2 schooling horses, rented my yard out too.
Big factor in returning was I had put on so much weight, so I picked up an Irish mare and gave myself 3 months to lose 3 stone and school mare to sell on. That was 2010, am still going strong with currently just 2 fuzzies, and 3 empty big stables out of the 5 ...

I used to produce to county level and take in others for reschooling as well as backing etc, always said I'd not ride any more if I didn't compete at a decent level again, that I def wouldn't do low key or hacking only ....

However, my opinions changed and I pop over to RC and hack, and do you know what? I actually enjoy it!
I'll now keep going till I cant ride anymore.....

 

[lannerch]

Never! It would be cutting out the bit of my life that gives me the most joy ( and pain , and mither , and keeps me skint, )

 

[Bonnie Allie]

Enjoy your children, especially when they are young. It’s such a special time.

Use your career to continue to feed your ambitious side.

Horses will always be there waiting when you are ready to return.

 

[windand rain]

Yes and it was the most miserable time of my life wouldn't do it again. Bought a mare and foal while pregnant with my third child and have had them pretty much since he is 39 in 2021. The spell without only lasted 6 months and was triggered by the tragic loss of both expected foals it broke me for a while. 67 next week but still cannot live with out them no longer ride

 

[silv]

Never! It would be cutting out the bit of my life that gives me the most joy ( and pain , and mither , and keeps me skint, )

This, could never imagine giving up.

 

[lme]

Gave up for 10 years while working full time, living in London and having children. Sold one to my trainer and loaned another out. Then the old girl came back from loan, we put her in foal, moved a few miles out of London and got ponies for the kids. Horses are by far our biggest expense and I don’t see enough of them as I work full time and keep them at livery but I couldn’t imagine not having them.

 

[vmac66]

Gave up for 30 years. Life, job kids etc just got in the way. Came back to them 5 years ago. Wouldn't ever give them up again.

 

[Supertrooper]

Me, my pony went back to charity I rehomed him from in March as due to fibromyalgia I felt I wasn’t giving him the care he needed. He’s now in a lovely new home.

It was an horrendous decision but I knew for him and me the right one

That’s the end of my horse owning days, I won’t have another

 

[Peregrine Falcon]

I sold 2 either side of having 1st son and the same with no.2. I'm a low level competitor and it's my eldest who does more than me! I couldn't give up my ponies, although the past few wet winters have left me challenging my sanity.

You do what feels right for you. Reading your post makes me think you have some doubts. Could you loan out from your premises so whilst retaining some interest but not having to commit?

 

[tallyho!]

Yes I did for college and uni years ago.

Then at 22 I was back in the saddle. Whoops. Then again, I do very much enjoy "just riding".

Why don't you put a temporary pause and save the money for when you can get back into it properly? Otherwise do search in the competition riders forum for inspirational mums who've managed it all. (My heroes)

 

[tiahatti]

I suppose I have to an extent. Tia is retired. I'm not planning on getting any more horses but then again I do have a grand daughter now.
Its something you can come back to in the future.

 

[brighteyes]

I'd go mad.

 

[splashgirl45]

i have and hate it. i gave up my loan horse 2 years ago, rode a friends horse for a few months and realised if i couldnt have my own it wasnt enough to ride a couple of times a week on someone else's....i am 74 and physically found it too much to have a horse on d.i.y and cant afford to pay for help, so, using my head i gave up..miss the horses even more since lockdown as havent ev en been able to help my friends at comps which did help a bit. if i got a lottery win i would get a horse a s a p, but thats unlikely to happen i have also still got a bridle, numnahs and 2 saddles, just find it hard to get rid of everything even though it is unlikely to fit another horse if i managed to get one..

 

[HBB]

I’ve not given completely up but I gave up breeding a few years ago and I’d like to cut back further. I have only 3 left now but if I could keep 2 I would but I’d be worried I’d end up creating a stressful situation if I took one away to a show or lesson ?

 

[cindars]

Not me yet but a friend did after her last horse had to be Pts due to colic. She'd had her since a foal. Think she rode once more then totally left horses for good. Never regretted it has her garden and dogs and lots of wonderful memories.

 

[Tarragon]

Gave up for 30 years. Life, job kids etc just got in the way. Came back to them 5 years ago. Wouldn't ever give them up again.

This is me. Rode as a child, last pony left when I went to Uni, then job, marriage and children, (but riding at every opportunity, so trekking when on holiday, exercising hunters and whatever rides I could get, then decided that I was tired of being wife and mother, and bought my first pony aged 35 and now, nearly 60, still going strong.

 

[Clodagh]

I have. It was odd but I never just rode either, I rode to get fit and to go hunting. I lived for hunting.
After the ban and my best horse was kicked and pts, I got another but absolutely couldn’t see the point.
Ups and downs for the next few years and then just bit the bullet and stopped.
It is heaven!

 

[Tihamandturkey]

I did after a nasty fall resulting in a bimalleolar fracture of leg & ankle (could have been so much worse).

No horses for 7 years ?

Been back since 2011 and really hope it never happens again ?

 

[BallyJ]

I have, 1 year ago - maybe 2? Time flies!
I’m onto the house buying, wedding, babies part of life. Unfortunately my wage wouldn’t stretch that far to cover having horses in a way I want to keep them.
It’s hard, and not nice as a majority of my friends and people I follow on social media have them. It’s what’s right for me right now and I think you have to know that before selling them on!
The worst part for me was selling the last saddle that was like the final straw, no turning back, if that makes sense?

 

[Cortez]

Oh, loads of times, but I keep coming back. I'm about to go horseless again, and may or may not have another in the future. Lots of changes and stuff going on in life at the mo (I'm 61 and recently widowed). There's nothing stopping me from getting another horse at a later time, not exactly a shortage of horses is there?

 

[FinalCanter]

Not intentionally, but many things have led to my current decision to give up on my lessons and barn time in general for the most part.
I used to ride 3x a day and was able to show in college. Due to issues...I decided to join the club side of the team two years later.
I took a year off after college, and then fell back into a weekly or twice a week lesson.

Current time, I was tired of being at a show barn, riding unfavorable horses (which some wasted my lesson), and my instructor had changed--I went from doing jumps to using up a weekly 45 minute lesson trotting and barely cantering for $70. I could not justify spending that money for 45 minutes doing the same things- if the horse I got was a 'good' lesson horse. And my current instructor didn't seem interested in my goals.

Right now It's been a few months of me not riding. I miss it, I could go to the barn anytime but....I don't want to. Instead, I've been using my time off differently (with no real end in sight- might be off for a year or two...three). I am using it to plan my own finances and preparing for the time where I can own or full lease my own. But I realize that this is a goal that will take some time...I am on the fence about riding in between that time as I still have other things in my life that will change drastically (might be moving in that same time frame), and wasting my money here with a lease/loan would be a waste. Where I am now, a lease is $1000-1700 at most of these barns. It just makes no sense for me to throw that money for a horse that I can 'own' for a month. I rather save it in the long run.

Likewise...lessons are expensive here too, I've been to many barns and I'm just not sure how to justify the money anymore with my type of job and low earnings. I am waiting to save up a good amount first before I decide anything. And when I finally do decide...It'll be time to move (so again...too much going on in life).

It's extremely bittersweet feeling.

 

[mini_b]

I gave up in different circumstances to you so difficult to compare... I rode from very very young until 18 where I had my own horse. I was too busy chasing boys/uni and my parents weren’t horsey and glad of the weight off the wallet.

It wasn’t long until I was absolutely heartbroken and essentially mourning (I really was - it took me until I got another to realise that)

I honestly couldn’t do it again, it feels like massively contributed to my major depressive episodes. My happiest times were with the ponies and I’d just dropped it all. I was very angry with myself and I still haven’t forgiven myself now for what might have been.

Fast forward to now... My confidence has grown, I feel better able to communicate with others and the horse gives me a time out from work/family life. I have children but I feel better able to function as a parent. I know many don’t have that luxury but it helps me a lot.

My horse has provided far more than he will ever know.

I’m skint, I really am. But I need him far more than he needs me x

 

[tallyho!]

Oh, loads of times, but I keep coming back. I'm about to go horseless again, and may or may not have another in the future. Lots of changes and stuff going on in life at the mo (I'm 61 and recently widowed). There's nothing stopping me from getting another horse at a later time, not exactly a shortage of horses is there?

Sorry to hear that, Cortez. Hope you are ok.

 

[Cortez]

Sorry to hear that, Cortez. Hope you are ok.

Thanks, I'm doing alright, but life has to change. The advent of covid came pretty much on the heels of all the vast disruption of closing a business and losing my partner. Horses are the last thing on my mind at the present time, but who knows what will be in the future? I always have the option (until old age removes that).