12 yr old sharer??? Potential problems

[Dot1]

What insurance would you request the family had? What concerns would you have?

Not sure I want to loan to someone so young. This is not for a pony but a 6yr old tb, who is a bit of a handful. She has shared him before but not recently as he is just coming into work again.

Parent is sure child can handle horse I'm not so sure.

Should I be putting my foot down and saying no?

 

[TS_]

I've known some really good 12 year old riders and at 12 I rode horses younger than that and thoroughbreds, I was a big 12 yr old though. So I would say aslong as they know the risks and have insurance then why not.

 

[The Bouncing Bog Trotter]

HUGE can of worms. Please don't do it unless parents are there to supervise her 100% of the time and both child and supervising parent are competent and experienced. If you have any doubts at all say no. Just think about badly injured children, badly injured horses and damage caused by horses that get loose etc etc etc.

 

[AmyMay]

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Should I be putting my foot down and saying no?

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It's your horse......

 

[Dot1]

She is a neat little rider, but she is tiny. I have not seen her 'challenged' before..

 

[Dot1]

AmyMay, exactly!! I keep telling myself that!

Child is in love with horse BUT lost interest when he was ill and suddenly interested again now he is back in work. However he has become a handful and is not in some respects the same horse she rode before his op.

Parent is not what I would call capable. I think it is a no, I just wanted some public opinion! I couldn't risk an accident among other things..

 

[miss_bird]

I would say no, the part that worries me is that she lost interest when the horse was ill, so if the horse has to have some time off for any reason and she cant ride it, will she bother with the horse

 

[pottamus]

No no and no! The child does not sound committed and insurance or not in this blame culture we live in it would only be a matter of time before something happended and the parents were on your back looking for someone to blame and claim from...may be negative and untrusting of me to say but there you go.

 

[Quadro]

it will be your fault if the child ends up on the floor injured!!! remember what the suiing culture is like these days be VERY VERY careful

 

[lexiedhb]

Did you allow this kid to "do" your horse alone when she was a sharer? If so I dont see the problem, aslong as she is on a yard where people can keep an eye on her. I had a TB when I was 12, and parents who wouldnt touch it with a barge pole, so not every 12 year old is a liable suit waiting to happen.....

However the fact she doesnt want to know when nag is ill would worry me, as you might end up with your horse back every time it cannot be ridden!

 

[landyandy]

i have a 13 year old part share one of my horses.
she is only allowed to ride when i am there, but she comes up every day to muck out etc, she also gives him loads of attention and grooming.
she is not allowed to stables without an adult,and this actually works well.

 

[Dot1]

lexiedhb, yes my thoughts, she was 'available' to do the odd cuddle but not much else.

Yes she did the horse alone (but with other people on the yard) but this was her mother's friends yard so different situation. In hindsight we shouldn't have carried on with an agreement on a horse by a previous owner. However she only shared him for 3 months before we bought him.

Also we are finding ourselves constantly being told how much she loves the horse, how bonded they are, how lovely we are etc etc. But I over heard the child tell the mother it was a good thing horse was misbehaving as then she might be the only one to ride it!!! Obviously she didn't think I heard..I think we are being manipulated by a 12 year old is that possible!?

 

[nicky_jakey]

I've recently had a similar situation in trying to find a suitable sharer for my TB.

Having met a few people, I decided that the minimum age I was happy with was 15.

This may be viewed as a little harsh by some members on here, but the reasons are that:

He is a TB - all be it now practically a schoolmaster, very safe & sensible. However, still a TB.
It is a private yard, where the owners live on site.
People at the yard ride in the morning, so the teenager would have to ride on their own after school.

At the end of the day it's your horse & you need to feel happy in your decision.
There are other sharers out there if you need to find someone else.

 

[Angua2]

I would say no...... it isn't really a sharer if you have to be there to supervise, you might as well do everything yourself.
IT seriously does sound like manipulation by the 12 year old.... I would get yourself out of this one as it sounds to me like an accident waiting to happen

 

[somethingorother]

I'm usually all for sharers, but this one is screaming run a mile. She cant love the horse that much if she didn't bother when he was ill. I think it's a bad idea, she sounds too full of herself to be sensible about his behaviour and yes i do think it sounds as if she is trying to manipulate you.

If it was me i would just put my foot down, leaving no room for debate or discussion. Maybe she can still come up for the odd cuddle now and again if you are there?

 

[tasteofchristmaschaos]

The fact that she is being manipulative is more of a warning sign that her age for me.
Tell her you don't want her sharing her as you think she has a bad attitute - don't let her think she is getting away with it and you haven't noticed.

 

[SpottedCat]

Oh come on, she's 12! Do none of you remember being that age and being willing to get on everything and anything no matter how mad it was? I do and I am a heck of a lot older than 12!! She probably isn't trying to manipulate you, more that she is worried you will not let her ride anymore and so is trying to convince herself that the bad behaviour is a good sign.

That said, you sound like what you want is for people to tell you it is a bad idea so you can knock the whole thing on the head without too much associated guilt because other people agree with you, so if you are that unsure then no, I don't think you should continue the share.

 

[Dot1]

SpottedCat, your absolutely right I do! I feel very guilty tearing a 12 year old girl away from a horse she apparently adores! As when I was her age the same thing happend (I was WAY to big for the pony and refused to see that!).

There is more to the behaviour of the mother and daughter but I think I have wanted the reassurance that other people would do the same thing!

 

[Dizzyblonde99]

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AmyMay, exactly!! I keep telling myself that!

Child is in love with horse BUT lost interest when he was ill and suddenly interested again now he is back in work.

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Noramally I'd happily fight her case but if she lost intrest when he was ill then I wouldn't be so sure. But I am still in favour as I was in similer situation as her 2 years ago !