Elf On A Shelf
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The day dawns bright and sunny but it is still a cold crisp air floating about. I go to feed my lot and Pip's is in season so she is being a total vile biatch to poor Freebs so he had to have his breakfast at least 30m away from her otherwise he wouldn't have got any. They normally eat out of the same bucket. Bless him Freebs is such a woose, always has been, always will be so he gets bullied by everyone and runs away at the slightest look.
At yard one my first lot was Compo. This little horse is such a dude! Don't get me wrong he can be keen as f when he wants to be but he is safe as houses and so much fun to ride. Our work was 66 + 1l so 6x each way round the sand circle in canter then off up the woodchip all the way to the top. They connect so you don't need to slow down much to go from one to the other. Setting off Compo gets a little behind as he takes a lap or two to warm to his task which is grand and once he is up and running he scoots round. "Oi! Compo! You little dick! Stop broncing!!!" I say to him whilst laughing on our 3rd lap. Of course Compo just giggles and shakes his head at this then proceeds to bronc a few times on every single circuit on the left rein. "You think your so funny don't you sunshine" I say to him as we turn to go the other way. I got a nod in response then all of a sudden Lou came flying sideways into us. She decided she was bored of being in front and was napping to get further back in the string. "Come on then Comps" I say and we headed off leading the string for the next round of 6. At the end of our last circuit we steadied up slightly as we crossed from sand to woodchip, round the bends then off we went again. I thought we were rolling along at a very respectable gallop when just after the gate Compo's ears went back, he grabbed the bit, lowered his body and really strode on again. I glance over my should to see Bi and Lou ganging up behind me. 'They are NOT getting past me!' Compo growled as he resolutely galloped on. As I pulled up at the top Bi came winging up my inside with Paddy trying his best to stop. I just laughed - been there, seen that, got the t-shirt on that horse! He is a notorious thug when he wants to be.
2nd lot was my lovely wee Sesame Street pony who was just trotting. Trot 1x woodchip then down to trot 4x4 on the sand circle. As we were merrily trotting away up the woodchip, Elmo pulling my arms out as usual there was a bit of plastic pipe sitting at the side of the gallop. We think nothing of it as it has been there for a couple of weeks now. Elmo? 'OMFG!!!!!! THAT THINGS GOING TO EAT ME ALIVE!!!!!' Elmo squeals as he slams on the brakes and shoots sideways past it. "Get a grip donkey, you have been past it how many times before now??" I ask him. 'It still might eat me mum! Hoenest! Look at it! It's a black hole that could easily swallow me right up!' Was Elmo's response. Trotting back down I turned his head away from the offending piece of pipe and funnily enough he didn't react when he wasn't able to see it poperly. Muppet. So as we set off trotting our 4x4 Elmo got bored and decided to launch into canter. "Ah ah ah!" I say, "Trotting sunnyjim" 'Fine!' Elmo says in a huff. Just then Scu comes flying down the gallops in the jeep with the harrow bouncing around behind him. He does slow down as he approaches the circle but I could see we would meet at almost the same point at the same time as he went past. Good job he was paying attention at me frantically shaking my head trying to tell him to stop before we got sent into orbit! We managed to successfully complete our trotting and headed back to the barn. By heck he can take a pull this horse!
On my way to yard two I stopped in at my house to pick up the mint chocolate cheesecake I had made. It wouldn't set in the fridge so I had to freeze it hence it was out today and not yesterday. It obviously went down well enough as there was nothing left of it by lunch time. It's great we have a wee table/shelf type thing in the tack room that is the fair game table. Any food on there is fair game for anyone to eat. Drinks are out of bounds but food is there for the taking.
My first lot over there was the lovely wee Humphrey. He is such a sweetheart who tries his hardest to please though he does sometimes ignore you when you ask him to pull up at the top and bottom and does it on his own terms. Today was just a 2 easy canters day which we completed not a bother. Heading home I asked him to pop up onto the grass verge as the road can be quite slippy when it is bone dry. Going up onto the verge is literally a 2in step onto grass. Well didn't Humphles just go and trip over his own feet! Down on his nose, rocket back up into the air to leap forward to save himself then canter along the verge for a few strides before he settles back to walk. "Humprey your an idiot" I said to him. "You can ping hurdles but a 2in step onto grass and you nearly floored yourself you absolute muppet!" If nothing else we had given everyone else a bit of a shock and a laugh as we flew through the air.
The next lot was wee Pepper. He is a lovely wee 4yo that i have never actually sat on before today. He is a proper pain in the ass going along the road, he shoogles his head about, walks reeeeeeeeaaaaalllllyyyyyyy slowly, gets distracted and looks off into the distance etc. Attention span of a goldfish this one. As we headed along the gallops road a big truck came by and the soul didn't bat an eye lid. Just after the new 4yo filly shot sideways across the road at a cone. It's her first time up the gallops and so her and Pepper were just doing 1x. So we get to the gallop and set off lobbing away. Three quarters of the way up there is a tractor sowing tatties in the field to our left. "Grrr! Keep going sunshine!" I growl at him as he starts to slow up and puts his head up and back at me. We scoot past then settle back into a lob again. Now as we were only doing 1x we had to go down the gallop in front with the other youngster. As we set off Steven, who was riding the other youngster, said "It'll be like the blind leading the blind down this gallop with these 2 in front" Oh how wrong and right he could be! Needless to say we met Mr Tractor again, on our right this time as we had changed direction. As we got closer I could feel Pepper start to back off and shy away to the left so I took a tighter hold of my right rein and put my left leg on. I figured we would be ok as we had the other horse on our left and he would just scoot to the side of the gallop, shoot off past the tractor then settle. Well I got that wrong! Just as we got near the tractor the side of the gallop is flat with no bushes so the little shite made a B-line for the gap and shot straight off the gallop! The side is really deep and he obviously wasn't expecting it to be so he was right down on his nose floundering through it, I had been put off balance by him darting left and then with the stumbling and scrambling I popped out the side door. It wasn't a hard landing, the field had just been sown so the ground was soft and by the time I came off Pepper was still half way to the ground so I only had 2ft to actually fall. I landed on my knees and tipped forward onto my head, the horse shot off down the field. I stayed down kneeling for a few moments as my head has taken a few knocks recently and I go dizzy quite quickly but I was fine today - Hurah! One of the lads had jumped off to see if I was ok, he was there that last time I hit the deck and was out for the count for a minute or so. But today I was fine so I hopped up, grabbed my hat silk and goggle which had come off and started jogging down the field to fetch the horse. It's a good job it's down hill as I had the best part of half a mile to jog to get to the bottom of the gallops! Luckily the gallop man saw the horse and ran out to shut the gate fully and try to catch the horse, which he did. By the time I get there I am puffing and panting and wheezing. I am in no fit state to run anywhere! I hopped back on and waited for those guys to go up again so we could all head back in a group. The wee shite had pulled a front shoe but though toots. He was going to have to walk home without it. Serves the wee prick right!
My last lot was my beautiful Big Midnight who is just a joy to ride! Again a nice easy 2x up and home. And I nearly died again. A red Audi came absolutely FLYING round a blind corner on the single track road and missed up by mere inches! He is not a local, I have never seen him before and if he was he would know to watch out for the horses. Luckily Midnight is 100% bombproof with all traffic so he didn't even pay it any attention despite the fact he could have smacked the driver in the face with his tail if he had swished it.
I am now sitting eating a bowl of coco pops with a saw jaw and a sore neck, must be a touch of whiplash. Originally it was just my nose that was sore as I must have punched myself in the face at some point on the way down. But I am indeed alive and well to tell the tale! I will add some pics in a minutes from my phone as I am typing this on my laptop.
The mint chocolate cheesecake mix before it was loaded onto a base of those new choc brownie digestives and Pepper a few days ago schooling - he can jump plenty well enough so why he decided to scramble through the crap rather than jump it at the side is beyond me! Wee toad!!
At yard one my first lot was Compo. This little horse is such a dude! Don't get me wrong he can be keen as f when he wants to be but he is safe as houses and so much fun to ride. Our work was 66 + 1l so 6x each way round the sand circle in canter then off up the woodchip all the way to the top. They connect so you don't need to slow down much to go from one to the other. Setting off Compo gets a little behind as he takes a lap or two to warm to his task which is grand and once he is up and running he scoots round. "Oi! Compo! You little dick! Stop broncing!!!" I say to him whilst laughing on our 3rd lap. Of course Compo just giggles and shakes his head at this then proceeds to bronc a few times on every single circuit on the left rein. "You think your so funny don't you sunshine" I say to him as we turn to go the other way. I got a nod in response then all of a sudden Lou came flying sideways into us. She decided she was bored of being in front and was napping to get further back in the string. "Come on then Comps" I say and we headed off leading the string for the next round of 6. At the end of our last circuit we steadied up slightly as we crossed from sand to woodchip, round the bends then off we went again. I thought we were rolling along at a very respectable gallop when just after the gate Compo's ears went back, he grabbed the bit, lowered his body and really strode on again. I glance over my should to see Bi and Lou ganging up behind me. 'They are NOT getting past me!' Compo growled as he resolutely galloped on. As I pulled up at the top Bi came winging up my inside with Paddy trying his best to stop. I just laughed - been there, seen that, got the t-shirt on that horse! He is a notorious thug when he wants to be.
2nd lot was my lovely wee Sesame Street pony who was just trotting. Trot 1x woodchip then down to trot 4x4 on the sand circle. As we were merrily trotting away up the woodchip, Elmo pulling my arms out as usual there was a bit of plastic pipe sitting at the side of the gallop. We think nothing of it as it has been there for a couple of weeks now. Elmo? 'OMFG!!!!!! THAT THINGS GOING TO EAT ME ALIVE!!!!!' Elmo squeals as he slams on the brakes and shoots sideways past it. "Get a grip donkey, you have been past it how many times before now??" I ask him. 'It still might eat me mum! Hoenest! Look at it! It's a black hole that could easily swallow me right up!' Was Elmo's response. Trotting back down I turned his head away from the offending piece of pipe and funnily enough he didn't react when he wasn't able to see it poperly. Muppet. So as we set off trotting our 4x4 Elmo got bored and decided to launch into canter. "Ah ah ah!" I say, "Trotting sunnyjim" 'Fine!' Elmo says in a huff. Just then Scu comes flying down the gallops in the jeep with the harrow bouncing around behind him. He does slow down as he approaches the circle but I could see we would meet at almost the same point at the same time as he went past. Good job he was paying attention at me frantically shaking my head trying to tell him to stop before we got sent into orbit! We managed to successfully complete our trotting and headed back to the barn. By heck he can take a pull this horse!
On my way to yard two I stopped in at my house to pick up the mint chocolate cheesecake I had made. It wouldn't set in the fridge so I had to freeze it hence it was out today and not yesterday. It obviously went down well enough as there was nothing left of it by lunch time. It's great we have a wee table/shelf type thing in the tack room that is the fair game table. Any food on there is fair game for anyone to eat. Drinks are out of bounds but food is there for the taking.
My first lot over there was the lovely wee Humphrey. He is such a sweetheart who tries his hardest to please though he does sometimes ignore you when you ask him to pull up at the top and bottom and does it on his own terms. Today was just a 2 easy canters day which we completed not a bother. Heading home I asked him to pop up onto the grass verge as the road can be quite slippy when it is bone dry. Going up onto the verge is literally a 2in step onto grass. Well didn't Humphles just go and trip over his own feet! Down on his nose, rocket back up into the air to leap forward to save himself then canter along the verge for a few strides before he settles back to walk. "Humprey your an idiot" I said to him. "You can ping hurdles but a 2in step onto grass and you nearly floored yourself you absolute muppet!" If nothing else we had given everyone else a bit of a shock and a laugh as we flew through the air.
The next lot was wee Pepper. He is a lovely wee 4yo that i have never actually sat on before today. He is a proper pain in the ass going along the road, he shoogles his head about, walks reeeeeeeeaaaaalllllyyyyyyy slowly, gets distracted and looks off into the distance etc. Attention span of a goldfish this one. As we headed along the gallops road a big truck came by and the soul didn't bat an eye lid. Just after the new 4yo filly shot sideways across the road at a cone. It's her first time up the gallops and so her and Pepper were just doing 1x. So we get to the gallop and set off lobbing away. Three quarters of the way up there is a tractor sowing tatties in the field to our left. "Grrr! Keep going sunshine!" I growl at him as he starts to slow up and puts his head up and back at me. We scoot past then settle back into a lob again. Now as we were only doing 1x we had to go down the gallop in front with the other youngster. As we set off Steven, who was riding the other youngster, said "It'll be like the blind leading the blind down this gallop with these 2 in front" Oh how wrong and right he could be! Needless to say we met Mr Tractor again, on our right this time as we had changed direction. As we got closer I could feel Pepper start to back off and shy away to the left so I took a tighter hold of my right rein and put my left leg on. I figured we would be ok as we had the other horse on our left and he would just scoot to the side of the gallop, shoot off past the tractor then settle. Well I got that wrong! Just as we got near the tractor the side of the gallop is flat with no bushes so the little shite made a B-line for the gap and shot straight off the gallop! The side is really deep and he obviously wasn't expecting it to be so he was right down on his nose floundering through it, I had been put off balance by him darting left and then with the stumbling and scrambling I popped out the side door. It wasn't a hard landing, the field had just been sown so the ground was soft and by the time I came off Pepper was still half way to the ground so I only had 2ft to actually fall. I landed on my knees and tipped forward onto my head, the horse shot off down the field. I stayed down kneeling for a few moments as my head has taken a few knocks recently and I go dizzy quite quickly but I was fine today - Hurah! One of the lads had jumped off to see if I was ok, he was there that last time I hit the deck and was out for the count for a minute or so. But today I was fine so I hopped up, grabbed my hat silk and goggle which had come off and started jogging down the field to fetch the horse. It's a good job it's down hill as I had the best part of half a mile to jog to get to the bottom of the gallops! Luckily the gallop man saw the horse and ran out to shut the gate fully and try to catch the horse, which he did. By the time I get there I am puffing and panting and wheezing. I am in no fit state to run anywhere! I hopped back on and waited for those guys to go up again so we could all head back in a group. The wee shite had pulled a front shoe but though toots. He was going to have to walk home without it. Serves the wee prick right!
My last lot was my beautiful Big Midnight who is just a joy to ride! Again a nice easy 2x up and home. And I nearly died again. A red Audi came absolutely FLYING round a blind corner on the single track road and missed up by mere inches! He is not a local, I have never seen him before and if he was he would know to watch out for the horses. Luckily Midnight is 100% bombproof with all traffic so he didn't even pay it any attention despite the fact he could have smacked the driver in the face with his tail if he had swished it.
I am now sitting eating a bowl of coco pops with a saw jaw and a sore neck, must be a touch of whiplash. Originally it was just my nose that was sore as I must have punched myself in the face at some point on the way down. But I am indeed alive and well to tell the tale! I will add some pics in a minutes from my phone as I am typing this on my laptop.
The mint chocolate cheesecake mix before it was loaded onto a base of those new choc brownie digestives and Pepper a few days ago schooling - he can jump plenty well enough so why he decided to scramble through the crap rather than jump it at the side is beyond me! Wee toad!!
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