A kind of sort of rant of the woe is me flavour and a WWYD?

sandi_84

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Well after 2 weeks of being internetless I'm back but my first post back is a bloomin rant of all things :(

I have just been given my sharers notice to quit :( That's 2 in less than a year! I swear by everything I hold dear neither myself or my horse are lunatics, nor are we difficult to deal with! We are actually both pretty laid back people but now I feel I can't advertise for another sharer because it's going to look like one or the other of us is a problem owner/horse! :(

My first sharer left during summer holidays because she was finding it hard to cope with 3 young kids and a very ill grandmother, since the kids went back to school she has bought her dream horse - she was upfront about her plans to buy her own when she was sharing with me and I knew I wouldn't have her for a very long period of time but I was very sad to see her go.

This one is leaving she says due to an "incident" last week where I questioned if she had fed the ponies because when I arrived it didn't look like they had been given much hay and they ducked under the electric fence (not on at the time) and went for a mad bronc whinnying all the way - which is very unlike them.

Apparently she felt like I was disbelieving of her and it made her uncomfortable.

If you had thought your horse was not fed enough (i.e the amount you had specified) and was very hungry the next day would you not question it?

I think though since she fell off a couple of weeks ago (which by the way I found out from my friend who was out with her wasn't due to a spook but because she lost her balance) she'd lost interest or however you want to put it - sorry I'm tired again, split shift at work and I can't seem to find the words I want to use that convey what I want to say so I'm substituting and it might suffer some loss in translation :/

So now I'm minus a sharer again (I know it's only two days but it took the pressure off me a bit and helped with things like worming and vaccinations etc - yes I could afford them without the monetary contribution but as Tesco says every little helps and even £10pw goes a fair whack towards things like that) and feel unable to re-advertise, would you re-advertise?
 
You could always ask the first sharer if you could give her contact details to prospective sharers, as a kind of reference.

Aye, I never thought of that!
What about the advert in itself should I just word it as I did before i.e bog standard "for share" type ad?

Feeling proper pants right now and a little miffed if I'm completely honest :( It's such a shame because Loki is such a sweetheart and honestly I really am a pretty chilled out owner :(
 
Aye, I never thought of that!
What about the advert in itself should I just word it as I did before i.e bog standard "for share" type ad?

Feeling proper pants right now and a little miffed if I'm completely honest :( It's such a shame because Loki is such a sweetheart and honestly I really am a pretty chilled out owner :(

I've never looked for a sharer but I would think a standard advert would be best. Most people probably won't even realise that you've advertised before. Perhaps you could offer the contact details if the prospective sharers want to know about any previous arrangements.
I'm sure you're both lovely!:)

Next time though, I think you do need to be sure that you choose a reasonably good well-balanced rider, for your horse's sake.
 
I've never looked for a sharer but I would think a standard advert would be best. Most people probably won't even realise that you've advertised before. Perhaps you could offer the contact details if the prospective sharers want to know about any previous arrangements.
I'm sure you're both lovely!:)

Next time though, I think you do need to be sure that you choose a reasonably good well-balanced rider, for your horse's sake.

Thanks again :) You always give good advice ha ha! :) And thank you, I think we're ok too ha ha! :)

I did think she was a really good rider, I actually thought she rode better than me :o
I watched her ride a few times during the trial back when we had the old saddle and saw no problems (mind you I'm not an instructor so I probably missed some early warning signs). Apparently though she told my friend that day that any time she rides stirrup-less on her lessons she falls off and when she took the tumble she was in the bareback saddle (during our saddle-less period) which you do need to be pretty balanced in. According to my friend she was avoiding canter whenever she went hacking so I think she was worried about coming off on the bareback saddle.

Had a message from her saying she thought I was implying that I thought she was stupid, I've told her that in no way did I think she was stupid but I'm trying not to get all defensive about my concern. I've had a think back and I still think I was well within my rights to check what had happened the night before and told her if the roles were reversed I'm sure she would have done the same.

She's a nice girl really but at the end of the day if she's going to get upset when I make sure my horse is cared for in the way I'd specified when I had reason for concern there's not much I can do about it and she's right in that we should go our separate ways. I wasn't offensive when I contacted her about it, I just asked if they'd been fed and when she replied they had I told her I was afraid it wasn't enough and then said that if she filled the haynets for them and emptied them out it would show her how much she needed to put in the wheelbarrows to give them (we only have two haynets and no where to hang them even if one of the ponies didn't attempt to climb into every haynet she comes across and invariably gets caught in it so usually we just use the wheelbarrows to put out piles) and then after she had seen the size of the pile the haynets make to just replicate it with the wheelbarrow method as usual. Oh well :rolleyes3:
 
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