A passion for horses - nature or nurture.

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Have always been very envious of those who live breathe and die horses and no matter how hard i've tried I cannot find a passion for all things equestrian. I've had my own horses for years but if I'm honest I've loved them because I'm an animal lover and they're animals, not particularly because they're horses and the fun they bring.

I did wonder if getting my own yard would help as I've always been at livery yards but it hasn't and I feel bad because some people would love their own land / Stable Yard.

I am starting to think that if you have to work that hard on liking something then really you don't as it should come naturally.

Anyone else kidding themselves and trying hard to convince themselves how much they love horses.
 
Gosh, given how bloomin expensive they are and how much heartache they can bring, I wouldn't waste energy trying to make myself love them iiwy!

If you enjoy their company then all is well and good, you don't need to ride or compete in order to like horses. Enjoying them on a pet level is fine, nothing wrong with it at all! If you enjoy the time you spend with your horses then I wouldn't over think it! If you would always rather be somewhere else then perhaps they aren't the hobby/lifestyle for you right now?
 
Yes I'm going to have a break from them as soon as i've sold the two left. Am much happier dog walking :D
 
Very interesting thread. I started my horsey life when I was 27 had a break when I lost my nerve but love them to bits and they have well and truly got under my skin.
Now I have a horse again I love it.
My family were not horsey in the slightest and my brother who buys expensive telescopes cannot understand why on earth I would want to spend my life smelly with straw in my hair.
 
I think its nature not nuture. I've been horse mad as long as I can remember, despite a non horsey family. Daughters 7 & always been pony mad, despite me making every effort to give her other options. Also I know plenty of kids with horsey, but non pushy parents who feel more how you do, as well as ones like my daughter, & a few families with one child of each. At the end of the day though, provided their needs are met I don't think it really matters. I love my cats, & am interested in other peoples too, but have no desire to learn more than I need & I certainly don't eat sleep & breathe them, certainly wouldn't have cats if they were as costly & time consuming as horses. So from my pov nothing wrong with you feeling that way about horses.
 
I have lived breathed horses as long as I can remember its all I have ever wanted to do , but I a very aware they are not compulsory I have a lovely house with stables grazing woods outdoor school large grassed working area fantastic sea views it is most horsey people's dream but keeping it up is a lot of hard work there's is always something to do the upkeep is all year round sometimes even I think it's is really hard work so I would say don't even think of a yard unless horses are a passion you can't live without just enjoy walking the dogs.
 
Your thread kind of links to the one ive just posted.

I honestly do believe it takes someone special to allow horses into their lives. I have to admit, my non-horsey friends find it so strange how dedicated we are. Even though I am taking a break from horses, I know there will come a time where ill be desperate to own one again. Something just clicks when when you allow horses into your life. "People who think a horse is "just" a horse, "just" dont understand" I love that saying :D

It just seems in our blood, therefor I do think its nature :)
 
How interesting!

I think for me it was all nurture. I was brought up on a small farm with ponies and donkeys and dogs etc. I grew around animals and I adore them. But I have no idea...had I been born into a non horsey/animal family... who knows. But I think nurture helps plant the seed earlier as it were.
 
I also come from a non-horsey (and non-active!) family. If I didn't have the same genetic defects as my mother, I'd swear I was adopted. :D

I remember as a 7yr old being mad on all things horsey. It was even evident to the neighbours. An old couple on my street gave me a horse encyclopedia as they'd noticed it! So yes, I think nature. Growing up in the industrial North in a council, then terraced house, you'd think I would have grown out of it, but I never did! Certainly wouldn't try to love them though, not at this cost!
 
I often ponder this as its such a strong passion I wonder where the heck it comes from. I come from a non-horsey family who if anything tried to dissuade me from having horses as they saw it as a distraction from family / work time. When its there is it so unbelieveably strong, we spend all our money quite happily on our horses, tolerate painful injuries, sacrifice social lives, friendships, lie-ins and loads more to spend time with horses and ride, and for me I would not be happy any other way.

If your hearts not in it I wouldn't try and force it, its too much work and heartache unless it truly means the world to you.
 
Definetely nature. I am from a non horsey family, my mother regrets to this day, that she plonked me on a Shetland pony 50 years ago at the local fete.

My late father regreted saying to me I could have my own horse if I paid for it's keep myself. I left school at 16 and got a factory job - he was true to his word and bought my first horse. He said he was sick of picking me up from the local hospital after numerous falls I had from other peoples headcase horses. He thought I would be safer on my own horse

The end result was a 16 year old daughter with no education, an unsuitable horse and several more trips to hospital.

I have not been without a horse or 5 since 1976. My family and work colleagues (managed to get a decent job without education !) still consider me totally bonkers. There are several moments, usually wet 6am winter mornings, when I am convinced I am bonkers.

I decided I would wind it all down following an injury to my best horse last year, but somehow, I bred a foal, which is rather smart and might just be a show horse, so it looks like I will keep working fulltime, getting up at the crack of sparrow fart and picking hay out of my hair whilst in meetings.

It's a passion no doubt about that, but I am now old enough to only ride safe horses, I sure as heck don't bounce anymore.
 
I have been horse mad since I can remember and eventually started lessons when I was 6 when my parents gave in to the pestering. My Mum rode and was pony mad as a child but never had her own pony but she did encourage me when she saw I had a keen interest, my father also rode as a child but wasn't keen on me being into horses as he's a miserable git and would sooner see everyone around him be unhappy! My parents divorced eventually and my mother scraped together everything and bought me a pony when I was 14, she and I shared the pony for over 10 years! She too was fulfilling her childhood dream of owning a pony, it took her til she was in her 40s though! I've not been without a horse since and nothing makes my heart sing quite like the sight of a beautiful horse and I still feel so proud that I own my own! The novelty never seems to wear off! I know that sounds a bit silly but I do feel like its hard wired into me and I love it. :D
 
I'm not so sure! I was born into a horsey family (well horsey mum and dad that's willing to foot the bills!) have ridden since year dot and have always had my own horses and ponies which I live a breathe but I think my passion comes from having always been around them, knowing them inside out. If I hadnt been so lucky, who can tell if I'd still be as horsey!

Having said that, it takes a hell of a lot of love for a 4 year old to be thrown off a naughty pony and to keep coming back for more.

I don't know, maybe it IS in the blood :)
 
I'd say nurture. 24hr a day, 7 days a week full of the stinking animals’ suits me perfectly. But I guess as I grew up around them, I couldn't imagine it any different.
 
Well - I am the "odd" one of my family. I was desperate to ride from about the age of 4, was very happy indeed when I took up riding lessons at 24.

At the grand age of 36 I realised my dream of having my own horse when my gorgeous hubby bought me my coblet.

Cannot imagine my life not having a horse in it now.

So would say with me it's nature, certainly not nurture as my family are scared of her - and she's like a labrador in a horses body LOL!
 
I think it’s in your blood, no one in my family are horsey, and I know lots of people who have had a few lessons as a child but for me I lived and breathed it from the moment I was plonked on a little Shetland pony at the age of 5. I think that as soon as you fall in love with horses there is no way to change that and it’s with you forever.

Non horsey people don’t understand it and often think us horse owners are crazy, but no one forces us to do it, nor do I grudge spending all my time and money on my horse.

Thankfully I have an understanding husband… it takes a special person to put up with a girl who’s first love was a horse… I think for most people, it’s not just an expensive, time consuming "hobby", it goes way beyond that! Your heart has to be in it!
 
Nature for me.

My Grandad was horsey in his youth - pre war as family worked with horses. and although I said Horsey - he didnt ride just admired good working stock (and knew a fair bit about them). according to him my first words were I want a pony :)

It wasn;t till I was 9 that I managed to get riding lessons (despite trying to organise them for myself with the yellow pages and a phonebox:) ) according to my instructor I was the first child she had enocountered that had never ridden but could already ride (i'd spend hours watching the horses on the telly with my grandparents). At 10 my grandad gave me money for a pony (my mum who thinks she knows it all about horses bought me a 3yo 14.3hh tank) I managed (with good ri) to bring said pony on and sold him 2 years later - I had saved enough to use profit of sale and my savings to by a lovely 15.1hh standard bred off the track about a year - I rebacked and loved her for 14 years.

I had a break from horses from 2005 to 2007 due to having a kid and no horse. got what I thought was my dream horse in 2007 and had a lovely time before having had to take a break again at end 2010 due to circumstances outwith my control. The 2010 break was the hardest I think becoz it was out of my control. I also moved to the countryside so was passing field of horses every day. However I have been lucky enought to get a full (perm) loan of a highland (who's birthday it is today) within the last month.

However, during my last break, my OH suffered exceptionally poor health (not the reason for the break) and we thought we were going to lose him. He thankfully is on the mend now. This has made me re-evaluate my horse/home life balance. ( I was always at the horse and hardly ever home). I've got 2 kids also. So now my Highland is on a full livery set up so I don;t have to go every day, I know is needs are met daily. I must admit I was a bit apprehensive about it to start with but it hasn't affected our bond any. and it has really worked for me so I can spend more time with OH and Kids and also let OH go and do things he wants to, and help assist with his recovery.

If I was lucky enough to have the ponios on my dorrstep then thats a different story mind :p
 
I have been horse mad for as long as I can remember, been around them form before I can remember and until I had my children, they were all I lived for. I like other animals, but not in the same way as horses - I have guinea pigs but you'd never catch me on a guinea pig forum! Horses are like an addictive drug for me, I can't live without them!

That said, I don't let them completely take over family life, like my sister does with her dogging activities (agility), but that's another story.

I used to think that the fact that I'd been around them from such a young age was the reason I am so horse mad, but I have met several children of horsey folks who are not interested at all and kids of totally non-horsey folks who's horsey interests seem to have come from nowhere. My own children have been around them from birth, they like horses, they like riding and always want to get on if there's a pony in front of them, but they're definitely not horse mad like I am.

So I have to conclude that it's nature!
 
I defiately thik its 'nature' I will be 47 this year, got my own 2 yrs ago and my mum is still waitig for me to grow out of the 'horsey' stage!!!! Somehow I think she will have a very long wait! I have been obsessed since watching Folly Foot, White Horses & Black Beauty whe i was a kid!!
 
I blame Sigmund Freud and his deeply flawed theory of developmental stages.
During the latency stage (between the ages of 5-7 yrs or thereabouts) Freud claimed that not much happened. Whereas the latency stage was infact the very important pony fixation stage. Unresolved desires at this stage culminate in lifelong regressive behaviour.
When this wish fulfillment finally take place it can be a disappointment (bit like Disneyland, Paris)
You're quite right OP, it's time to try something less dangerous (Have you thought of tombstoning;))
 
For me I think its nature, I come from a totally non horsey family and have adored them longer than I remember, I couldn't imagine being without mine at all and i work with them too!! It's too much hard work and heart ache along with the joy they bring to have to work at it to love it IMO
 
For me, I think it might have been nature because we had no horses in our lives when I was a child and no one in my family was horsey. I spent my childhood yearning to be around horses, reading every book, watching every film etc. My parents couldn't afford to give me many opportunities to be around horses and felt it was an impractical thing to pursue so didn't encourage me. There were no horses within walking distance (or even within 30 mins drive) of my house, I did try and work as a groom but I didn't know enough to be really useful, no one had much time to teach me, I couldn't ride well either and without a car and reliant on public transport I was often late and was fired, I was devastated. I used to feel quite depressed about not having access to horses in any meaningful way, aif there had been the internet back then I would have been a right pain in the rump I am sure!

For my daughter it could well have been nurture, I moved to England where horses were much more accessible than in the area of the States I hail from, so I took her to riding lessons, she took to it so easily and wanted to start helping at the yard I was thrilled for her to have an opportunity I never did and I supported her in it, got her a part loan pony from the school, then her own pony on full loan, then bought her a horse, then another horse, got a 4x4 and trailer, learned to drive it, paid for lessons, the whole shebang. She seemed to really enjoy it and spent every spare moment at the yard until recently when her passion suddenly waned.

If I am honest I don't think she loves them as passionately as I do, if I had it to do again I would have paid for lessons for myself and bought myself a suitable horse. (If I can lose another 3 stone I can ride Basil- he has a marvellous sharer to do the fun stuff with so I am sure he wouldn't mind taking the odd walk with me!) but of course hindsight is a wonderful thing.
 
AdorableAlice said:
Definetely nature. I am from a non horsey family, my mother regrets to this day, that she plonked me on a Shetland pony 50 years ago at the local fete.

My late father regreted saying to me I could have my own horse if I paid for it's keep myself. I left school at 16 and got a factory job - he was true to his word and bought my first horse. He said he was sick of picking me up from the local hospital after numerous falls I had from other peoples headcase horses. He thought I would be safer on my own horse

The end result was a 16 year old daughter with no education, an unsuitable horse and several more trips to hospital.

I have not been without a horse or 5 since 1976. My family and work colleagues (managed to get a decent job without education !) still consider me totally bonkers. There are several moments, usually wet 6am winter mornings, when I am convinced I am bonkers.

I decided I would wind it all down following an injury to my best horse last year, but somehow, I bred a foal, which is rather smart and might just be a show horse, so it looks like I will keep working fulltime, getting up at the crack of sparrow fart and picking hay out of my hair whilst in meetings.

It's a passion no doubt about that, but I am now old enough to only ride safe horses, I sure as heck don't bounce anymore.
Click to expand...

i <3 this post lol!
 
Interesting thread, OP and I hope although I havent read all of the replies, that you find the right path to take that suits you best.

I am very horsey, and I think you realise that when all of your spending goes on your horses, and you have your non-hairdresser partner cutting your hair, and clothes from charity shops (only if really necessary of course!) and worry about the horses religiously to the point that they are actually eating better than you are!.

I mean, when do we ever consider if we are recieving the correct amount of vits and mins a day to ensure a 'perfectly' balanced diet.

I am lucky that I have a fab OH who is very supportive and puts up with me and my demanding mares!.
 
For me definitely nature. My family was totally non horsey (and didn't have the money to be anything else) but I have always loved horses, read any horse stories going and even cantered around the garden on my pretend pony!
Best thing for me was when my daughter started riding lessons when she was 9 (didn't have the spare cash before) and her instructor persuaded me to have a go. Still very much a novice but we've had our own horse for 9 years now, originally daughter's but passed on to me as daughter has out grown her (both skill and size).
Hubby not interested, but tolerant of horse as a big pet, son thinks we're mad but daughter was a natural. Me - I just enjoy being around them and having a gentle hack out. I've only recently plucked up the courage to canter :)
 
Fellewell said:
I blame Sigmund Freud and his deeply flawed theory of developmental stages.
During the latency stage (between the ages of 5-7 yrs or thereabouts) Freud claimed that not much happened. Whereas the latency stage was infact the very important pony fixation stage. Unresolved desires at this stage culminate in lifelong regressive behaviour.
When this wish fulfillment finally take place it can be a disappointment (bit like Disneyland, Paris)
You're quite right OP, it's time to try something less dangerous (Have you thought of tombstoning;))
Click to expand...

:D Brilliant!
 
Interesting! Nature for me, neither of my parents were horsey (although my mum has had to become so!)

I don't remember far back enough to recall how it started, I would be really interested to know what set me off!!

I was pestering pestering all the time by at least 6, I had my walls covered in horsey posters and had read all the learn to ride books I could get my hands on until my parents caved and bought me riding lessons for my 7th birthday.

I had read so much about what to do the girl at the riding school couldn't believe I'd never had a riding lesson before! :o

Had a few years off from horses around late teenage years, but I'm completely obsessed again now, I pretty much eat, sleep, breath them and they aren't a chore, even in the wind, rain and cold I don't begrudge the time or effort to care for them.
 
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I think its mostly nature...althought nurture helps.
I think its certainly easier to be horsey if you come from a horsey family. I've always been jealous of my horsey friends who's parents have a string of eventers and hunters as it allows them to dip in and out of horses. I've always had to prioritise my exams and academic performance which means I've not been able to have my own horse and get out competing but horses are still my passion and they are what motivates me to work! Hopefully once uni is finished I'll be able to get a working pupil position and finally do something I love for a little while before its back to serious work :rolleyes:
 
Nature I think for me. I've always loved animals and for my 4th birthday my next door neighbour took me to play on a shetland.
My mum got envious - one of those things she'd always wanted to try but though impossible from London - looked up some riding schools and the rest is history!

I often wonder what my life would have been like if I hadn't had that birthday treat! Boring I think!
 
I definitely think it's nature. I come from a non-horsey family and I have been horse mad since the age of 4 but wasn't allowed to ride until we moved to the country when I was 6 and the day we moved in my darling daddy took me straight round to the riding school he'd found me. I rode there until I was 18 working for more rides as my parents could only afford one a week. My dad also learned to ride so he could come out with me but he gave up after a couple of years. I had a break during uni but my now husband took me trekking for our first anniversary together and as soon as I left uni I started lessons again. Rode for a year and then we bought our first house and life took over until my husband announced that he wanted to buy me my own horse for my 30th!

5 years, one baby and a near fatal accident later and horses are still a massive part of my life and I have finally found my perfect partner so don't see that changing any time soon!

My son has been around horses since he was 3 months old and whilst he enjoys the odd little ride on the yard Shetland I'm not sure he'll really be into horses but I'll let him make that decision :)
 
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