A Poll On Death

[Tia]

I'm really not sure where this post belongs as it covers more than one category, so please indulge me for a moment.

I have been thinking about my animals, past and present, and I have been trying to figure out which hurts the most.....the death of a horse or the death of your pet dog or even a particularly affectionate cat.

I have had to have a number of animals put to sleep and some have just died. Now I know that having any of them die is deeply sad however do some deaths have a far greater impact on you than others?

I know when I have had horses put down, I have desperately wept for them and it does take a while to get over the loss of them........however having dogs put to sleep, for me, has to be just the worst! Nowadays I can cope with the loss of a horse, yes there is sadness but not like the utter grief I feel when I have had my dogs put to sleep. Grief that no matter how many years go by, I never seem to be able to shake off.

Even though I am not a crying-type person I can quite easily weep for my beautiful dog taken from me at 6 years old, 6 years ago....and it often only takes a song on the radio to set me off (only when I am on my own of course). But I am not like this for my horses who have died.

So here goes - what do you think? Yes for more, no for less.

 

[Weezy]

Dogs are worse for me absolutely NO doubt - they live with you, weep with you, rejoice with you - they can totally pre-empt your moods, know when you need a cuddle, knw when to leave you alone - horses just act bloody minded whatever LOL!!!

 

[Natalie_H]

I find this difficult to answer as I have only lost one dog, who was the family dog, & it was devastating. However, when I lost my pony of 13 yrs who I had grown up with & who was my own pony & no-one else's, I think I was worse. I think the dog would be much worse if it were my own dog - the family dog was really my Mum's if you know what I mean?

 

[loopeepee]

Im lucky that I have never experienced one of my horses dying whilst they are in my care - so therefore my answer may not be totally applicable.
However, I have lost my dog. It was totally heartbroken, as she was just the most utterly devine Yorkshire Terrier I have ever known. I was fairly young, as this was about 7 or 8 years ago now. But I still remember it being a Tuesday, and possibly the 14th at 11.30am.
The vet could not diagnose what was wrong, but she somehow was suddenly paralysed from the waist down, and therefore could hardly move and was totally incontinant.
It was kinder to put her to sleep as although she was not in pain, she had no quality of life left.
I can still see her little body in the back of the car now before we burried her, and sitting on my Dad's knee for hours crying together by her grave. I still go out there now occasionly, and whats amazing is the fact Paddy, own dog now, will lie there sometimes in the summer. There is nothing which distinguishes it from the rest of the garden at all - but he knows.
Rest in piece Poppy darling.

 

[SSM]

We have not lost a dog for 9 years and I am still missing my StinkerStonker, however Bumble Dog to us is not a dog she is our child - comes on holidays with us and as hubby works from home he is with her all day, so we both dread the day we have to say goodbye - I think it will really knock us sideways

 

[ru-fi-do]

I can't answer this poll, i have three dogs and haven't experienced losing one. 2 years ago I lost my first pony to colic, he was 25 and we had had him for 13 years, it absoloutly broke my heart. Even now I think of him all the time. If anything was to happen either my dogs or horse's i would be shattered. Both dogs and horses play a huge roll in lives, you spend a lot of time with them. I have much love for them all.

 

[JaneMBE]

12 years ago I had my GSD put to sleep. He was 11 1/2 and had probable* liver failure. I sobbed as he went (laways a wuss he yelped lots) and I was guilt ridden for months thinking I failed him and should have let vet open him up (although the GA would have killed him) Broke my heart andI missed him.

However, March this year, after weeks of treatment and love and hope, I watched my horse Eric be shot by the roadside and it tore me apart.
I have been unable to to move on and if I read the diary I wrote I howl, the grief is too painful.
For me, losing a big noble beast hit me worse than losing my dog, I struggle to make sense of it even now and it has left me number than I could have imagined.

Animals give us so much, it is devastating to let them go.
For me, losing a horse is worse but I can't really explain why.

My dog now, Molly, lives at the yard with Suki, the other yard dog, and although I love them and will be sad when they go, I have detached myself from doggies a little, perhaps because I lost a friend when Jason went, he was my baby.

 

[ann-jen]

Its a difficult one to answer for me. I answered harder to lose a dog. My last dog Bracken was a terrible wrench. She was fit until about a month before she died. She developed a tumour in her spinal cord and started having bouts of excrutiating pain. She went to a specialist for a MRI scan and had the tumour removed but didnt really recover. I had her home for 2 wks of intensive care and then the tumour came back and had spread and she had to go to sleep. They were amongst the worst 2 weeks of my life. She was a wonderful dog, only 9 when she died and didn't deserve the end she got bless her. I was off work for a few days but although I was still upset when I came back to work I felt like I functioned ok.
I've lost 2 horses. One was my childhood pony who I grew up with. I had her for 25 years before she died. If you had asked me how I would feel when she died say 10 years ago I would have said devastated but as she got older she got steadily more decrepid and I was struggling to decide on having her PTS. I found her dead in her stable one morning - I guess she just had a big heart attack and died. She was 30. I was obviously very upset that she had gone but also kind of relieved that she went before I had to make the decision. I'm ashamed of how quickly I recovered from her death compared to that of Brackens. I was back in work the next day.
The other horse was only 10. She was hit by a car when we were out hacking one day. The driver said the sun was in her eyes and drove straight into us at 40mph. I knew from the start she'd never get back up but the vet tried with her and eventually put her to sleep. I still occasionally get upset about it even now 5 years on. I would say this was the death that affected me the worst of the 3. I was off work for ages even though I was relatively uninjured. Even when I thought I was ok and went back to work I think I was probably acting oddly for months without realising it.
So I think the circumstances in the death also have a lot to do with the greiving process too. I think I loved all 3 animals equally but it affected me differently with each one.

 

[Heidi1]

I was really affected by the death of one of my horses, Misty, I had him for 21 years, we grew up together, he was a day old when I paid for him, £50 he cost me, I couldn't go anywhere without thinking about him and crying...... But the day I have to say goodbye to Alfie dog will be worse, he is my baby........

 

[Louise_88]

For me it's much harder to lose a horse. I lost my horse due to fracturing his elbow this february 14th. It trully was the worst day of my life, we were very close and we knew each other so well. I have a dog and although i love her, i would never be anything like as upset if i lost her i would miss her. but losing my horse, who i had worked on gaining his trust on for years and seeing him turn into a happy horse was dreadfull and wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

 

[riotgirl]

This is such an interesting question Tia. Thinking about it long and hard, I have been much more affected by the death of my dogs than my horses. I suppose it is because dogs are always there and they know you like no other animal really can.

 

[serena2005]

i said yes, simply because the horse got colic and died, i was totally unprepared. the dog was put to sleep after we found out she was had cancer everywhere, and
it was for the best just the way she looked at me, i knew she was ready to go

 

[Theresa_F]

Difficult one, I was in a terrible state when I lost Breeze - I had rescued her and she still is very special to me.

I cry for days at the loss of my cats.

Some of my cats have had less effect than Breeze, and others more.

When Cairo goes, I don't know what I will do with my OH - that horse means the world to him.

I tend to keep only one horse to the end and they are more of a pet than anything, so for me, yes my horse and my small animals are on a par.

 

[jacks_mum]

the biggest difference for me is whether they die naturally or not. I find it so hard and heartbreaking to have to make THAT decision and it always leaves me feeling guilty. I get equally upset when I lose my small furries (rats) as I have when we have lost cats and although I am desperately upset and I never forget any of them I am not sad for too long. Two and a half years on from losing my first horse I can still cry for him at the drop of a hat.

So in typing this reply I have actually found the answer to your poll which I had thought I couldn't answer.

 

[Sparklet]

I cant tick the poll because it says 'small animals' and I have lost cats, hamsters, fish etc with a few tears shed. I would be devastated to lose any of my horses particularly my daughters because we have had her since she was three and she is a really hugable shape and size - my horse would take your arm of if you tried to hug her.....but..my doggie, now that would rip my heart out.

 

[TheresaW]

Haven't had to say goodbye to a horse yet, but I was heartbroken when I lost my dog and cats in the past even though they were all old and had had good lives. I do think that I kept my cat Mindy alive for longer than I should and I do regret that, but then I made sure that I didn't make the same mistake with my dog and I sometimes feel a little guilty that she could have had another few months.

 

[Super_Kat]

I've never lost a horse under my care so i couldn't comment on that. I've lost a couple of old dogs which upset me for a few days and then I was fine. If I were to loose Missy I would be incredibly upset but not for long I shouldn't think but the day's I loose Storm and Cassie dogs willl be the worst of my life because they mean everything to me

 

[Kelly1982]

This is a hard one for me to answer as i have never lost a horse and only ever lost 'family' dogs.

Loosing the dogs upset me for quite a few days and i still feel sad when i think about them now but i think it effected my parents more as the dogs were more theres and they spent a lot more time with them than i did.

If i lost my horse i would feel like my world had ended. When i was having trouble with Trike and his future hung in the balance i was literally a wreck for quite a few months, i used to put on a brave face but when i was on my own i used to brake down. I felt like a zombie during the day as i was just existing but all the time he was on my mind and i was struggling to make the decision. I really dont know what i would of been like if i did have to say goodbye to him as even the thought of it made me brake down. Luckily things picked up and it turned out to be something completely different.

So i think for me it would be my horse as she is my sole responsibility and i spend a lot more time with her than i do the dogs.

 

[Tierra]

The death of a horse seems to affect me more than the death of the smaller animals. Dont get me wrong, Id be mortified if something happened to either of my dogs today but from the ones Ive lost in the past, its not the absolute uncontrollable (and admittedly verging on hysterical) grief that Ive felt when Ive had to let one of the horses go.

The bond with my current horse is stronger than that which ive experienced with my past horses (perhaps because we actually took a great deal of time in choosing this one and matching him to be perfect for me) and Im closer to him than I am to either of the dogs. He's very much a one person horse and is incredibly affectionate and theres a connection there that just isnt there in the relationship with my doggies.

 

[dieseldog]

Never had a dog die that I have been close to - however when Diesel goes I know it will be bad. I have however lost a lot of horses, and most of the time its because I've decided to PTS, and then you spend most of the time up to making the decision agonising over what to do so when you finally do decide to PTS it is in a strange way a relief. The last horse to die though was unexpected, her womb unzipped in her last week of pregancy, so she had an emergency ceasearian, but she died, the foal died and my mum died all within a week, so I didn't really think too much about poor Holly dying as it was overshadowed by other events.

 

[Alibear]

I find it weird I never know how it's giong to affect me until it does and that's the same for humans and animals.

I seriously though I'd never get overhaving my first horse put to sleep but it was many years in the coming (colic many times over but it was finally her leg that gave way) and somehow that seemed to have softened the blow so I didn't find it so hard.

Chloe who I'd sold on by the time she was PTS hit me like a tonne of bricks even though I hadn't seen her in months.

Stupid me was desperately upset when my guinea pig died a month or so a go, I think it was because he was still very young and I had to bury him myself but I mean come on I'm 32 really should get a grip!

 

[GTs]

I can not relate to the notion of being devastated over an animals death - I love them, but know they had a good life, even if it was short. To me it just does not compare to a human, especially someone who died young.

 

[Tia]

Jolly good job I didn't ask about the comparison between animals and humans then eh?

 

[PapaFrita]

I'm not sure, but I imagine the death of PF would hit me harder than Ulla's... perhaps because I've had her longer. Losing either Ulla or PF would certainly be worse than Playboy the bunny dying...

 

[SueAllen]

I guess it depends on your bond with the animal and the nature of their going. I have several cats who are lovely and cared for but I don't have any real bond to them and I know, that when they go, I will be very sad but not devastated. It looks like they will mostly be dying of old age and that I can cope with. I have lost two dogs - both of them really special animals, young and in tragic circumstance - one with great character and the other with great beauty and presence and I was devastated by both of them. I would be tortured by losing any of my current dogs as they are all really giving and loving but particularly my lurcher. We do have a very special bond, I nearly lost him once and I feel I owe him for the pleasure he has given me. Losing him is a thought I cannot even go near without welling up.

My horse....he is my only one and my first. Our relationship is developing all the time. The bond is getting stronger. I am prepared to be completely wiped out by losing him. I can envisage having him PTS by choice as an old boy, having lived out his days here at home, but anything else is uncharted territory for me and I think will be one of the hardest things I will ever have to bear.