Aargh....I don't know what to do!

[Araboo27]

Hey everyone first time posting as I really could do with some advice!

I want a horse. Money isn't a problem, my issue is TIME -

I am a single mum to three (0,4 and 6) and also a full time student doing a degree in paediatric nursing. 50% of my degree is spent on placement doing a 37.5 hour week, shifts tend to be a mixture of 7-3, 12-9, 7am-9pm or nights. There would be some days that I couldn't get to the yard (would obviously be full livery on these days!) which makes me feel like I'm being unfair and my horse would be lonely :,( but then during holidays I could be at the yard all day, every day :-D Any also when I'm doing theory at uni I tend to only be there for three or four short days per week.

I've got 2 years left at uni but even when I qualify I'll still be working shifts and the thought of never having a horse is awful!M

Am I being too soft? I would hate to buy a horse and then realise I'd made the wrong decision :-/

Any ideas/advice?!

 

[AmyMay]

Why not wait until uni has finished and then re-evaluate? Winter can be tough, and if time is a problem it will be even more so during the winter months.

 

[Not Quite Geoffrey]

If the horse is on full livery then there will be other horses around to prevent 'him' from getting lonely. There are many horses who are on full livery and the owner only rides at weekends as work/family/location present an issue, and these have always been fine, obviously they are exercised in the week but if you were only going to need full livery on odd days then as long as the horse could be turned out or given grass then I am sure 'he' could and would be perfectly happy. If the horses is being properly cared for at the yard where 'he' is on full livery then I don't see that you should have a problem or feel guilty. Obviously you will need a horse with the right temperament to not be ridden every day.

If i have miss understood your situation I am sorry!

Good luck with your studies

 

[noodle_]

If the horse is on full livery then there will be other horses around to prevent 'him' from getting lonely. There are many horses who are on full livery and the owner only rides at weekends as work/family/location present an issue, and these have always been fine, obviously they are exercised in the week but if you were only going to need full livery on odd days then as long as the horse could be turned out or given grass then I am sure 'he' could and would be perfectly happy. If the horses is being properly cared for at the yard where 'he' is on full livery then I don't see that you should have a problem or feel guilty. Obviously you will need a horse with the right temperament to not be ridden every day.

If i have miss understood your situation I am sorry!

Good luck with your studies

this ^^!!


some days i think id love to be on full livery to be honest as i really dont have the time and hate relying on people as it makes me feel SO guilty. even though they are so helpful and lovely.

But full livery you can go down whenever you choose ad not need to worry about your horse!

if you can - id go this option but with a degree and 3 small kids you must be superwoman

 

[Tammytoo]

Personally, I would wait until I'd finished uni. How about going for sharing a horse in the meantime. You would get your horsey fix and it would give you a good iddea of what is involved and whether you could manage the time.

Just one other point - who will care for your children when you are with your horse?

 

[wallykissmas]

What about a share, that means you can ride when your available and not to have worry and cover higher costs when your not.

 

[brucethegypsycob]

Gosh. 3 young children and a nursing degree AND you can still find time to run your own horse......... Aim seriously impressed with your time management skills. I wish you all the luck in the world. And it would be fab for the six year old as well.

 

[Rose Folly]

May have read this wrong, but I gathered you do not at present own a horse but were considering buying one.

If that is the case - DON'T!! Until you have finished your university course, are fully solvent, your children are at school and your career is going steadily, I think you'd be mad to consider it. You will end up with everyone suffering - yourself, your children - and the horse.

If you want to ride in the meantime, the world is heaving at presentwith people looking for sharers, or even just to exercise their horse or pony. Do that, keep yourself fit, and go back into horse-owning when the odds ares slightly more stacked in your favour!

 

[squidsin]

Hey everyone first time posting as I really could do with some advice!

I want a horse. Money isn't a problem, my issue is TIME -

I am a single mum to three (0,4 and 6) and also a full time student doing a degree in paediatric nursing. 50% of my degree is spent on placement doing a 37.5 hour week, shifts tend to be a mixture of 7-3, 12-9, 7am-9pm or nights. There would be some days that I couldn't get to the yard (would obviously be full livery on these days!) which makes me feel like I'm being unfair and my horse would be lonely :,( but then during holidays I could be at the yard all day, every day :-D Any also when I'm doing theory at uni I tend to only be there for three or four short days per week.

I've got 2 years left at uni but even when I qualify I'll still be working shifts and the thought of never having a horse is awful!M

Am I being too soft? I would hate to buy a horse and then realise I'd made the wrong decision :-/

Any ideas/advice?!

Depends how much money you've got! You'd probably need full livery and that doesn't come cheap. I work 3 days a week, have two small children, and my horse is on assisted DIY. I manage to ride at lunchtimes on Weds, Fri and first thing Sat and Sun, and I do the morning muckout/feed etc. I literally have NO spare time now - or money! And I have one less child and less demanding hours than you. I totally understand the 'need' to buy a horse as I took the plunge myself knowing I have limited time and money, but on the other hand, I am 38 and didn't see it getting any better in terms of money and time, so decided to go for it anyway. I don't regret it at all but it IS a massive commitment - and costs a fortune! You also need lots of understanding, free childcare - luckily my husband doesn't mind looking after the kids on weekend mornings while I ride.

 

[Boulty]

Personally I would wait until after you've finished your degree and are settled in a job as you've not chosen an easy course and especially towards the end the going is likely to get tough and that's without having to juggle with kids! Nothing to stop you looking for a share / part loan a few days a week for the next few years though as that way you still get your horsey fix without the tie of being there every day and if things get to the point where there just aren't enough hours in the day you can either cut no of days down or give share up. You'd prob need someone who was a little bit flexible on days so you could pick the days when you're least busy but see no reason why, if you're able to make a contribution towards care, you shouldn't be able to find something.

 

[CLM]

As others have said, consider Sharing rather than owning a horse. This is what I do, as i just don't have the time to be able to have my own. It really is like having your own on the days you do, and is less of a commitment in time and money.

 

[Araboo27]

Thank you so much to everyone for all the wonderful advice, there were points that I hadn't even considered and I thought I'd been really thorough and thought it through properly!

I think the general consensus seems to be - wait until after uni which is what I now plan to do.

Take the past 24 hours for example -

Daughter (8 months) came down with a tummy bug last night, was up to midnight with her, vomit everywhere :-\ I'm sure you know the score. Then this morning, despite being up since 6 there is no way I could have got to the yard to do the horse due to her being poorly and seeing to the boys as well. I moved home last year so luckily I have my Mum to help out when needs be My only option would be full livery and although I could afford it, I am not comfortable with the idea of only seeing my horse a few days per week (I know it works for some). I want a horse to spend time with and develop that special bond you get.

Long post but yes, I plan to keep riding, get the 4 year old started with his lessons and *force* horseyness on my children Hey, I might even get them a pony too once uni is done and dusted!! Thanks again everyone

 

[Clarebear*]

You could always look for a sharer in your local area, you would be able to arrange days/individual circumstances and even if you started off with one day a week then you could always build up from there providing you had the time, and eventually if you got your own horse you could consider sharing it, hope this helps

 

[Lego]

I'm just finishing a degree as a 'mature' student... I bought my boy 2 years ago in June, so in the middle of Uni. I had been sharing and loaning up till that point though, so knew I could fit it in.

I also work part time, on shift work, and will be on yet more shift work in the hospital once I start my new post after qualifying. It was manageable on DIY, with assistance from the YM as needed, and favours from friends - I'd put them all to bed on the way to work, and someone else would turn mine out and skip out for me when working nights. Organisation is key - make up hay nets and feeds in advance etc.

However, I've now moved to a 5-day livery with a fab YO and love it! The stress of finishing late and rushing everywhere is gone, and the time I spend with the boy is better quality - I can ride or faff to my heart's content, rather than rushing around doing stable etc. I still get to look after him at the weekends, unless I'm on odd shifts, in which case I can pay £10 for weekend cover as needed.

Obviously I managed on DIY, but I'm not sure how much I'd like to go back...