Abusive Yard Owner

[Thalassa]

For the last 6 months the yo at our yard has become horrendous. She tells you what you should and shouldn’t be doing and has a go at liveries for doing something that she doesn’t like (pulling tails or riding in a bit that she doesn’t like for example). A couple of days ago she phoned me, insulted me and had a go at me about putting hay on the floor for my horses!!! Due to being at the end of my tether I no longer could bit my tongue and told her I did not like the way she was speaking to me. She ended up swearing at me, saying “ F you” and hung up.
I’m obviously leaving after this latest incident however I begrudge pay for 2 horses part livery (£670) notice for a month when I’m leaving due to her abusive manner and horrendous attitude.
I have yard lined up and seriously thinking of moving today. Is it going to cause more issues than it’s worth by not paying my notice?

 

[blitznbobs]

Well you could but she could sue you for it … if you pay you can just walk away and know its done with.

 

[luckyoldme]

Jesus.
Although it grates to give folk money when they are like that I would just leave.
Loose the battle and wait for someone with more energy to win the war with the bitch.
Life is just too short to take the fallout from someone else's misery.

 

[mariew]

I'd be tempted to just go today and then deal with any months notice later. You could always leave it and then decide to pay or not depending on what she does.

 

[Jenko109]

I'd be tempted to just go today and then deal with any months notice later. You could always leave it and then decide to pay or not depending on what she does.

This. I doubt she will do much except gob off about you, but with the way she speaks to people, I expect she already has a name for herself anyway.

 

[MiJodsR2BlinkinTite]

Ohh dear!! Sounds like YO is either seriously menopausal OR had too much Gin........ or possibly both!

I'm a YO and always cringe when I read posts like this; what a horrible way to treat someone!

Do you have a contract in place (please say yes you do!!) giving details re. notice period/payments etc? Because if so then you may need to abide by that - although legally any "Contract" even if drawn up by a Legal isn't actually worth the paper it is written on.

The problem is that if you DO up-stakes and leave asap with livery owing you may put yourself at risk of being badmouthed all around your area; however it may well be the case that this woman has already got an appalling reputation anyway and that anything she can pin on you wouldn't make any difference.

That said, with my YO hat on, if there IS an agreement (and it doesn't necessarily need to be a written one) that there is a month's notice either side, then it just might be worth "doing the right thing" and either stay for your notice period or pay up and look sweet....... but whatever you do make sure you get a receipt from her.

 

[tristar]

leave instantly, try and recorded any abuse to use in evidence should she chase for money

no one has the right to abuse you like that

 

[Ample Prosecco]

As far as I’m concerned if you are being bullied/abused then she is forcing you to leave and is not entitled to notice. I’d leave immediately and then sit tight and see what she does about chasing you.

 

[SantaVera]

leave today but pay the money, that way your concience is clear, you dont get a bad name and everyone will believe you when you tell them why you left. If you dont pay your name can be dragged through the mud.

 

[Xmas lucky]

Leave today and pay the money I wouldn’t trust anyone who behaving like this.

 

[Pearlsacarolsinger]

If she is a bad as it sounds, she will no doubt bad-mouth you whether youpay the ntoice period, or not. It sounds as if she has broken the contract herself,unless the contract specifically allows for her bad behaviour

 

[The Bouncing Bog Trotter]

Leave now but pay, take the moral high ground.

 

[PinkvSantaboots]

I would just go and I wouldn't pay the month's notice either why should you.

 

[windand rain]

Depends on when you pay up front or the end of the month. If up front then you have paid for her livery already if the end of the month then you need to pay for services already accrued. It is easier to pay up as we all know what trial by social media is like but get written receipts and a signed notice to say paid in full

 

[Flowerofthefen]

I would leave asap and write her a letter stating exactly why you are leaving, not mentioning any money at this point. Then I would wait to see what she does.

 

[wills_91]

Leave today life is to short. If you can afford to pay her notice and move today then do it for the sake of moral, high ground. If you genuinely can't afford it then move today and deal with it later. Abuse is abuse.

 

[Roasted Chestnuts]

I’d walk and let her whistle for her money. I’ve never left a yard in bad terms or with any sort of debt but I left a bad YM as she was a complete ar$eH0le but the YO was lovely so paid him my outstanding livery (no notice) and told him blatantly that she needed a life and I felt sorry that she was his daughter in law. I up stakes and left the same day.

I’d taken my horse to a show, got an abusive phone call from her whilst I was there, she told me to F off and hung up when I didn’t give her the argument she wanted so i dropped my boy off at his new yard on the way home and phoned my dad and he went to the yard took out all My stuff and my friend and I loaded everything into the trailer and I cleaned out the stable and I left. Had it all done in 1.5hrs and she never even came out of the house bloody coward. Was only good when she had an audience or on the phone.

 

[Baywonder]

Oh what an awful situation for you to be in - the YO sounds like an utter nightmare to say the least!

Whatever you decide to do, I would try and have a third party with you to witness any exchanges / conversations between you and the YO.

FWIW, I would be sorely tempted to just go if I was spoken to like that.

Good luck OP.

 

[Bluewaves]

i would just go. Swearing aggressively at you means to me that she has broken the contract, not you. Don’t pay your notice period. This is a bit like when people are bullied at work and feel forced to resign.

 

[greenbean10]

I’m amazed how many people are saying to pay!

There is absolutely no chance I’d be paying.

 

[cremedemonthe]

As much as it galls me to pay people like that (you get them on ebay who abuse you then claim all sorts against you to get freebies) I would pay it and take it on the chin and move. It means peace of mind and no stress or worry about what she might or might not do or be saying about you. I am sure you won't be the last to leave because of her.
Good luck, Oz

 

[Goldenstar]

Well I don’t think swearing in a spat breaks a contract .
But I would leave at once and I would probably pay the full amount that is due just have the moral high ground .
If you leave her owing money then you need to be prepared for her take you to the small claims court .

 

[snowangel5]

I’m amazed how many people are saying to pay!

There is absolutely no chance I’d be paying.

I completely agree with you if I was in the same situation I would definitely not pay

 

[Bonnie Allie]

Regardless of how unprofessional she is you need to pay If you choose to leave early.

 

[SO1]

Awful situation and very odd behaviour from YO perhaps stress related. If on part livery does hay on floor cause more wastage and harder for staff to muck out if hay is mixed in the bed? So might be financial issue.

£1340 is a lot of money to lose both for you and YO. If you don't pay I expect she will try and claim it unless she has two customers who want to take your place.

You could try and work out what everything would cost except hay, bedding and feed and pay that part of the bill and say you are not going to pay for consumerables not going to be used as you are leaving early as you feel that would be best for both of you as she is obviously not happy with you as a client. Unless the consumerables could not be used for another horses as they ordered in especially for you. She may prefer for you to be off the yard earlier in case you start telling the other liveries what happened and they start to think about leaving.

You don't want to get a reputation as a bad payer so you need to be careful.

 

[Flicker]

Ohh dear!! Sounds like YO is either seriously menopausal .

I am sure this was meant in a jocular way, but explaining abusive behaviour as being the result of a completely natural process experienced by 51% of the population just perpetuates the stereotype that women are these emotional creatures controlled by their hormones. It’s on a par with suggesting that she might be on her period.

 

[saddlesore]

I’ve been on the receiving end of YO madness and bullying and id just leave now. If it would ‘help’ I’d maybe pay a small ‘ sorry I had to leave without notice but you’re a nightmare’ amount but nothing else. Word does travel but I suspect she’s a known lunatic also.

 

[TPO]

In any other part of life if someone was abusive towards you would you pay nearly 1.5k to leave?

I'm guessing you weren't heading anyway immediately until she phoned and abused you. I'd say you were moving for your safety and that of your horses.

Do you have a written contract?

 

[TheHairyOne]

She's told you to leave in that phone call. Its probably not what she meant, but that would be my response to any come back from not paying!

I would pay for any and all services you have recieved up to and including the day you leave and not a penny more.

 

[Goldenstar]

The thing is swearing is rude but it’s not illegal to be rude and abrasive and a little strange .
If this goes to the small claims court I would say Op will lose its a classic she said she said thing no one else witnessed this it was a phone call .
OP does not fancy paying but a SCC judgement against her does not look good and I think I would be really thinking is it worth it .