Adjusting to Full Livery

[Safina]

Sorry, just coming on for a bit of an off-load as no-one else seems to understand why I am struggling.

Up until 1 month ago my boy and my sisters girl were on DIY at a yard near me. I would do them both before work (meant getting up at 5am everyday) then ride and put to bed everynight (even if I finished work at gone 9pm).

My life has been turned upside down recently though - we moved area and I now live 1 1/2 commute away from work. I have also started a new job and my hours are very long (rare for me to start past 8am and finish before 10pm). As a result the horses moved yards and are now on mon-fri full livery.

Everyone kept going on about how fab it would be that I did not have to be up so early everyday and how I'd get my mucking out done etc but I was dreading moving and am still finding it hard to adjust.

Its not the yard at all, the place is fab, the yard owner is lovely and very accomodating (I arrived with a huge "how to look after my babies" list which she took in her stride!) and I know they are fine but I still cannot get used to it. I don't feel happy being seperated from them at all and would give up every lie-in in the world if it meant I got to see them everyday again. Everone thinks I am mad when I tell them how I feel - they just don't understand that it breaks my heart to not be with them everyday. I feel like a mum who has taken her kids to boarding school.

Silly I know, I leave for work at 6.30am so would literally have to get up at 4am to do them before work and whilst I originally planned to go to the yard 3 nights a week after work the new job is tougher than expected and even I won't ride at gone 11pm!

Sigh, sorry about this...not after practical advise just a chance to offload a little.

 

[Blizzard]

((Safina))

You poor thing, it must be hard working all those hours and at the end of it all still not getting to see your horses.

Can you make up for it on a weekend?

 

[Judie]

It will get easier to adjust to, you're probable tired from the new stresses of your job and it not quite working out how you expected, but once you've settled in your job things will pan out and you will get to ride 2 or 3 times a week as planned. Spending an 1 1/2 hours each way in the car won't help, gives you too much time to brood!

Chin up...

 

[Safina]

Thanks - its just nice to have horsey people understand where I am coming from.

Moving house, horses and job on the same weekend was quite stressful so its no wonder things are a bit up in the air at the moment.

 

[Safina]

Forgot to say - try to see them loads at the weekend and always ride, groom and mooch but don't really know anyone at yard yet so its hard. I guess once I am no longer the new girl things will get easier.

 

[Judie]

Good grief, no wonder you're all over the place, crikey me!

Hopefully you will have some nice weekends before the winter sets in to have some quality time with them.

 

[_April_]

I know how you feel I bought my first flat and changed jobs all in the same month!

Add moving your horses to that and it's no wonder you are feeling stressed! Hopefully once you settle in to your new place you can start to enjoy more quality time with them xx.

 

[madabout2]

I feel for you. This won't help but I have just moved off full to diy and appreciate what you are now missing. I know you aren't after advice but I'm giving some too.

I have a long commute 2 hours each way so I have delegated the DIY Mon to Friday to a combination of my husband and a horse mad friend who can't afford her own horse.

Can you do soemthing siimilar?

 

[katiejaye]

I completely understand your position. When I was at uni I had more flexible hours so like you I was up every day etc. Now I'm working a full time job in central London I have moved yards and am on part livery. I also have a long commute to the yard after work so am generally exhausted a lot! I do manage to get up 3 evenings a week and am up all of wkend but i'd love to be up every day too. Some wks I have long work days and late meetings and I am restricted to how long I can spend at the yard which sucks!

 

[Lozz1uk]

Hi,

I put my horse on full livery last winter because it worked out more cost effective than part livery by the time i was away odd weekends. I have to say that while I was partly glad at the time that it meant i could get work done and in theory ride more, I didn't really enjoy it and felt like I'd lost my horse. I felt like the evil witch who turned up just to ride and then disappear, as she'd be fed before i got there.

If I had to work late at first I'd sometimes not go, but after 2 days of doing that in a row I started to think I could make do without a horse and felt too demotivated to go on the third day. I actually forced myself to go up every night, even if it was at 9pm and just to give her a pat & a carrot and then turn round after 5 minutes. I moved her over the summer and i've gone back to part livery.

I know you're hoping to get used to it and you probably will (I did after a few weeks when I realised her schooling was coming along more because i had more time to ride) but you will find it difficult at first. Weird isn't it, because like you, everyone at work thinks I'm mad not getting home til 9pm. I just found that I missed the little things like feeding!

Having said this, she's only been coming in at night for 3 weeks and already it's at the back of my mind whether I can cope or need to go back to full livery! Sorry, i've waffled on a bit here!

 

[UKa]

You are the opposite from me – I had my horse on part livery for the last few years; last year hubby, horse and I moved out of London and my job is now 1.5 hrs commute away one way; however, I always managed to get up the yard 3 x during weekdays to exercise her; last weekend I moved my girl to a DIY yard down the road so I get to do her more (there is someone to turn out in the mornings and one day a week I can work at home) I am already hooked! So much so that I have active plans to find work locally so I have more time for her, I understand how you must miss your horses after having seen them so much beforehand, I would not go back now …

 

[_jetset_]

Moving house is hectic enough on its own, never mind moving jobs and horses all at the same time. I know when Hannah was on full livery (I worked at a restaurant before started uni and it meant I was working very strange hours) I missed all the mucking out and feeding etc. I decided to quit the job (I was starting uni in a few months anyway, LOL) and take on the livery myself.

I have always done her since and although some mornings at 6am when it is dark, raining and windy I wish I could stay in bed, as soon as I see my girl I know why it is worth getting up.

This won't be forever... you never know what will happen in the future. The only thing I would say is try to get up as much as possible, even if it just to give them a quick groom and a pat. You'll feel better for seeing them!

Rebecca x

P.S. Keep

 

[Safina]

Thanks for all your advice, stories and generally being understanding. Its comforting to know that I am not mad or alone in wanting to see the nags everyday.

I agree that I should try to get into a routine of seeing them in the week once things settle down a bit. I feel so guilty even though I know they are being well looked after and I am also scared they'll start loving the liv yard owner more than me.

Going back to DIY and finding a sharer is not really an option - I need a firm contract to have the horses done when I cannot be there and would not risk getting a sharer in case they left me in the lurch and I was stuck 2 hours away from the horses with no realistic chance of getting back to sort them out.

Thanks again, its nice to offload sometimes.

 

[djb]

Hi

I have had mine on diy for the last 6 years and would go at least twice a day every day.
I love to do my horse myself and am quite picky on how things are done and I worry quite a lot aswell.
I had to move yards because the old one was closing down - the new yard is a bit further away. The new YO is really nice and will do them in a morning in winter as the yard is at her house and she wants to do all the horses at the same time.
So I only go up at night - I really miss not going in the morning and feel like I'm not allowed to go - I'm sure it's not as bad as that really. I do go twice at weekends though.
I know it's not quite as bad but I do know how you feel.

 

[Safina]

Thanks djb - thats sort of how I feel. The YO is fab but I still worry that things are not being done just how I (and think my horses) like them to be done.

Still, its almost the weekend so I'll be there with bells on!

 

[Happy Bird]

My horses are on full livery due to work committments...... BUT I would absolutely love to have them on DIY like I used to.... spending a ridiculously long doing their beds, scrubbing out mangers, slicing their carrots up, being in complete control of their diet and which rugs I put on etc. etc.

So you're definitely not odd or mad !

I'm sure you'll feel differently in a couple of months, after making new friends and the yard and getting used to your new house and job.

You've sure had a stressful time of late !! And it's only going to get better from now on !