Advert advice.....

Cullohill

Cullohill

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.... i know these aren't too popular but could just do with some input on the advert i am trying to put togther for selling Sassy......

Striking 16hh Chestnut mare by Wultizer out of Intermediate event mare who has correct confirmation and a lovely manner.
Rising 6 but only been in competition work a short time after being broken last year and turned away due to lack of time.
Light active paces with excellent hind leg and super trainable attitude. Won first two dressage outings, including getting 69.6% to win out of class of 41!
Jumping coming along well with natural easy shape over a fence. First time out jumped round brightly coloured set proving bold and sensible.
XC schooled twice and took everything on sensibly and bravely.
2nd place at first and only ODE at Eland Lodge.
A really lovely sort, easy to do in all ways and extremely good looking, will go far in any sphere. Ready to continue competitive career - only for sale due to owners’ pregnancy.

how does that sound?? is it too much info, not enough?? i'm going to put one on horsemart and one on horsequest i think..... will put some pics/videos in PG to ask for advice of which to use
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thanks
 
Sounds like a lovely horse.

I would be inclined to take out the bit about being started late - and turned away. And put something like:

Rising 6, and just started her competative career. Light active paces...........

Vices? Clip? Farrier? Load? Vet?
 
Good point yes that sounds better....

Vices - none we know of, don't think she's been clipped, she's good to load, having her 2nd set shoes on tom so will see - i thought easy to do in all ways covers most things rather than listing?? what do you think?? i've only had her 7 weeks and no 'vices' have appeared. i could put no known vices??

thanks
 
Yes, easy to do would cover most things. However, I would be inclined to say no vices. Others may feel differently........

What a shame she has to go
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dont necessarily put this but out of my interest...why is it for sale???

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Cos she's pregnant (as per advert.....)
 
9 out of 10 ads these days seem to use 'striking X' as their introduction, now makes me cringe to see it, and it means nothing as everyone is saying it. Try to think of something more original or descriptive to help your ad stand out.
 
I also agree that you should take out the part about her having time off, and like AmyMay said just put she has started her competitive career. Could you not advertise her as potential eventer rather than 'striking 16hh...", I am with nona1 in that I see so many adverts starting with that (and if you have a picture the 'striking' part will completely speak for itself as she is lovely).
 
dam it used striking now - didn't realise it was an over used word! did change bit about just starting her competitive career though..... oh well hope people see past my bad word!

have you seen the Pro Set filly for sale on horsequest??
 
thought you'd like to see it - she is big isn't she and more sort of chunky..... i am off for 2 weeks from tom and going to back Fin so will take lots of photos for you to see! he is still the most gorgeous boy in my eyes!! hope Troy is well x
 
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