Advert help!

[greenlivery]

I'm selling this mare and I'm a bit stuck with what to write in my advert, also not sure what photos would be best. I'm thinking I will place the advert in Horsemart with a video aswell as a few photos. What do you think of the current photos? What else would you suggest? Do any of them put you off?
This is all I have for my advert so far:

Talented 16.2hh, 10 year old, eyecatching Irish sports horse mare. Good temperament. Will jump any thing on any stride, very honest and unspoilt. Ready to affiliate. Lots of power and scope over big fences. Hacks alone or in company, good to catch, clip, travel, shoe etc.
Genuine reason for sale through no fault of her own. 5 star home only. Welcome to stay on full/competition livery at current yard.

What other details should I include? Have I written anything confusing or offputting?
I'm at a bit of a loss as to how to advertise this mare as she is a little star, but has been a happy hack most her life and has only recently started jumping, so has no competition record despite being very talented. She is genuine, honest and safe, but I think people might wonder why she is 10 years old with very little history. I'm not sure how to put accorss in my advert that she is genuinly unspoilt and has just had an easy life! She is now at a point where she could easily go out and compete, she is really easy to do and jumps nicely, we have taken her to lots of show environments, hired local indoor schools, relaly put her to the test and she has been great. I'm just at a bit of a loss with wording my advert! Any any advice on the photos would be fab!

 

[Kat]

I can't see the photos but she sounds like just the sort of horse we are looking for, shame you aren't in the midlands!

Has she done any dressage? or showing? what about cross country? If so include it in your advert, even if unaff. What about hunting? Traffic? All things that should go in your ad.

Oh and the price, and whether you will sell tack with her too.

I'd explain her history by saying something like "has lead a very quiet life due to owner's lack of time so she had a limited competition record, but she is a genuine mare, who has tackled every challenge calmly and sensibly with the scope to be a super allrounder"

 

[greenlivery]

Also worried photos make it look like she is in some kind of gag, but its a NS Performance Tranz Universal! Which is nowhere near as strong!

 

[greenlivery]

Thansk Katt, thats a really wonderful quote, I'm going to add somethign very similar into the ad. Thanks!
I 'assume' this mare will hunt a dream as she pops over 5 bar gates with us at home, but having had such a quiet life I really don't want to make assume anything as it could blow her brains! She has lots of potential but has done very little so I'm worried about misleading people, but at the same time, want to make sure she goes to a good home that will do her justice.

 

[Lucy_Nottingham]

Pictures - last and the third I think are the best (do you have a slightly more central one of her? and do you always jump in a grackle? as that is something that puts me off as auto says: horse opens mouth or is quite strong!)

Also id maybe say about her flatwork ability as some horses that can jump can jump superbly, but cant do a nice flowing dressage test for toffee (which obv limits her advert as an "allrounder" )

She is very striking and I am sure you will geta lot of interest, and KAtt's phrase is a good one to explain what you are trying to get across

 

[ThePony]

Oh, she is gorgeous! One thing that came to mind - you have hogged her and her tail looks rather rubbed - is this because she has sweet itch (only because my current mare does so it would be something I would worry about if I got another horse). I'd also be interested to know if she hacks alone and in company, what she is like in traffic and to load etc.
You mention that you've taken her out to experience a show environment, is there a reason she hasn't been competed? If you have the time and transport then I think it would help your price alot if you could get her out and about on a ticket. Then she isn't just a 'potential' - which everything seems to be anyway! Proven competition horse I think would be alot more saleable and also increase the price you can ask.
Nice pics, but do you have a good flatwork one, and a naked one? Then I think you have all bases covered!
She is so pretty, my mare is a beautiful ish so I am biased anyway, but she really is a stunner!

 

[FionaMc]

I know this isn't really relevant to your question BUT she is absolutely lovely looking and strikes me as exactly the sort a lot of people would fancy for some more ambitious PC/RC stuff. Assuming she rides as well as she looks I can't imagine you'd have too much trouble selling her - not everyone is aiming to compete professionally (as much as we may all like to believe we could...)

 

[greenlivery]

Thank you!
Her flat work is good, so I will write that into the advert. And I will attach a video also so people can see exactly how she moves. We want to take her out on a ticket and compete but owner is pushed for time and needs her sold soon so its looking unlikely.
We changed her to a grackle when she arrived with us as its the only tack that fit her properly, hence mis match colours! I never thought about that but now you mention it I can see that it might make people worry.
Owner has not mentioned sweetitch, but will ask her directly as I really want to be as honest as I can when selling her. Thank you for the advice.

 

[martlin]

The first a little bit negative thing that strikes me about the photos is, (I'm sorry to say this, please don't be offended) the rider - she looks like she was saying 'am I bovvered'.
Sit up, smile and stop staring sideways at horses head
Apart from that, lovely mare, very flashy and has a nice jump on her.

 

[greenlivery]

I know this isn't really relevant to your question BUT she is absolutely lovely looking and strikes me as exactly the sort a lot of people would fancy for some more ambitious PC/RC stuff. Assuming she rides as well as she looks I can't imagine you'd have too much trouble selling her - not everyone is aiming to compete professionally (as much as we may all like to believe we could...)

I hope she gets a lovely home with someone who will take her out for lots of jumping and fun, professional or otherwise. I think her size might worry a few people though as she is a very big 16.2! Very chunky and looks/moves a lot bigger than she is. I expect it works both ways though, some people might love that

 

[greenlivery]

The first a little bit negative thing that strikes me about the photos is, (I'm sorry to say this, please don't be offended) the rider - she looks like she was saying 'am I bovvered'.
Sit up, smile and stop staring sideways at horses head
Apart from that, lovely mare, very flashy and has a nice jump on her.

hehe I know! rider didn't know I was taking photo! But like how clear the photo is and that it shows her shape etc, but I see what you mean. Maybe I should have a new photo session with her soon

 

[Lucy_Nottingham]

see i would be a love it!

my put off is she is a mare! (duh!) lol but thats just coz i am a total gelding sort of girl!

If you do a video, do maybe 3 jumps in a school, spend the first half doing flat work on both reins showing all 3 paces, and then pop the 3 jumps like a mini course to show she can!

 

[TGM]

The jumping pics are ace - probably the middle one is the best to use. As for the others, it would be better to have a ridden flatwork pic and/or an untacked/unbooted confo shot, rather than a standing still with rider on board shot. Try and make it from the side where she has the black marking on her face, as the other side looks a bit pink at the moment and is not very flattering!

I must say I would be a bit suspicious about the horse having been taken to shows and hired out arenas, but not actually competed - why is that? Sounds like you have transport so why not pop her in a class at an unaffiliated show or go on a ticket at BS? Just shows she can stay focussed on the job in a competitive environment (which some horses can't, however talented).

 

[greenlivery]

The jumping pics are ace - probably the middle one is the best to use. As for the others, it would be better to have a ridden flatwork pic and/or an untacked/unbooted confo shot, rather than a standing still with rider on board shot. Try and make it from the side where she has the black marking on her face, as the other side looks a bit pink at the moment and is not very flattering!

I must say I would be a bit suspicious about the horse having been taken to shows and hired out arenas, but not actually competed - why is that? Sounds like you have transport so why not pop her in a class at an unaffiliated show or go on a ticket at BS? Just shows she can stay focussed on the job in a competitive environment (which some horses can't, however talented).

Think you are right. Will ask owner if we can compete on a ticket before the advert goes live.