advice for a wuss needed :(

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sophiebailey

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Hi all :)

Need your advice about what to do this Saturday as I can't objectively make my mind up what to do for the best!!

Baileyboy is a bit of a napper. We made alot of headway with his napping but then unfortunatley we had to move yards. Now he's back at his old yard but the napping (stopping, planting, spinning & trotting off) has started again and i'm feeling a bit pooey because we'd only just managed to sort it out the first time and now I feel like we're back to square and all my confidence has flown off into the sunset!

ANYWAY the dilemma; this saturday i've agreed to meet up with a girl on a neighbouring yard to go for a little hack. I'm going to meet her at her yard but i'm not sure if I should attempt to ride there or not. It's a short 5 minute ride but it means crossing a busy A road which I've never done alone before but only coming home, never going away from home which is where the problems always are! Also, he always has a spook and a spin when we ride past the entrance to this girl's yard (there's chickens/show jumps/lorries/horses leaning over the hedge) so i'm not altogether confident I can get him INTO the yard seeing as I struggle to get him PAST it!!

So what do you reckon, given my nerves at doing it should i tack up and walk him over in hand or get over myself, kick him on and hope for the best? Really can't decide on my best course of action :( someone slap some sense into me!!!! :mad: :confused::(
 
If it wasn't for the road I would say it would be a good oportunity to try and hack alone, but please don't do anywhere near an A-road on a horse your not confident on alone! Recipe for a serious accident! Just tack him up and lead him over.
 
The hack we're going on is over 'her side' of the road, so I don't think she'd appreciate hacking to me, to hack back past her yard! :( I would suggest it otherwise xx
 
It is supposed to be an enjoyable hack so don't beat yourself up about it. If you are safe and confident leading him then do that (don't be forgetting plenty of hi-vis!).

A-roads aren't the place for lessons or heroics while schooling a nappy horse.
 
He's fine being led (naughty horse!!) only naps when being ridden alone. Would it send a negative message to him if I tried to ride as far as the road and then got off to lead him over the road and into the yard entrance?

Not sure if he would see me getting off as having a real reason to be scared? :S
 
Personally I wouldn't want to lead him over there either - if he really plays up you're probably going to struggle to control him as much in hand as you are on his back which could be awful on an A road - in fact I would personally rather be on their back in that situation.

I vote you ask her to come to you - if she's a proper friend she won't mind at all as she's horsey so should appreciate the situation if you explain.
 
Definitely lead in this case! As an aside, I had fallen off my youngster in October and had lost confidence. I was constantly beating myself up about being a wuss and chickening out of riding if there was too many people around, too windy, etc. ... Until the beginning of this month, when I gave myself a kick up the bum and went into the school with someone lungeing - well! I fell off and cracked two ribs! Kicking yourself up the proverbial is only a good idea if it's to do something that's safe and achievable - don't make the same mistake as me as, from what you've described, it's too much all in one go.
 
Put your cards on the table... and get her to hack to you...

If its only 5 minutes away, she wont mind at all. I know I wouldnt bat an eye lid if someone needed me to zip over and "pick" them up.

Start as you mean to go on... confidently.

If you go out "hoping" to make it there and have a bad experience, its only going to set you both back even further, before youve even started.
 
Any decent friend or hacking buddy would be happy to hack to you and then back past their yard in this situation - especially as it is only a 5 minute hack away! I think it would really benefit YOU to have a confident hacking buddy and your horse, a sensible equine to take him confidently past all the scary things you encounter. If your friend or her horse aren't these, perhaps you need to re-think hacking buddies.

Bottom line, don't do it on your own unless you are confident you can deal with anything he throws at you safely and with an A road in the equation I would question this.
 
If I was your friend, I wouldn't hesitate to ride over and "collect" you. There is nothing wrong with getting off and leading, if your horse follows it shows that he's accepting you as the leader.

However, doing it across a busy A road might not be a good idea at the moment, especially as you are feeling a bit apprehensive and he might pick up on that.
 
You are not a wuss, you are being sensible! I would not even go near an A road on my own and am reluctant to use them in company even though my horse is generally very good. I will only use roads when I have absolutely no choice and never on my own! I agree with others that you need to get your friend to hack to you and take it from there. Car drivers are maniacs around horses. It is not wrong to get off your horse and lead where appropriate - it doesn't mean that you are scared, it's just showing your horse how brave you are and there is nothing to be frightened of. I do it and it works. Hacking the other day we came across a settee somone had dumped at the side of a trail which the horses flatly refused to pass - I got off Jenny and led her by it - she was snorting, jumping and pulling back but the other horses followed her - brave girl! - and coming back home we all rode by it with no problem at all. Find a confident buddy to hack out with and you'll be fine but listen to your instinct!!:D
 
I dont think you are being a wuss at all. Riding is supposed to be fun so you decide what you will be comfortable with and try and work it that way. I would hope that your friend would understand that she can make your life so much easier by coming to get you. Next time you may well feel able to go and meet her but build up to it and improve your confidence. Starting out on a hack with negative feelings is never going to be helpful.
Best of luck and I hope you have a nice ride
 
Thanks guys think I will go for the leading option for now!! He's fine to lead and in traffic so I don't anticipate any problems if I'm walking :) xx
 
....... Will also ask while we're on this hack if she'd meet me next time! (It'll be the first time we're going out together on saturday so don't want to seem to rude!!!) Xxx
 
sophiebailey said:
Thanks guys think I will go for the leading option for now!! He's fine to lead and in traffic so I don't anticipate any problems if I'm walking :) xx
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Good decision Sophie I think. You can always tackle crossing the A road ridden at a quieter time than a Saturday. A few good experiences first in hand will help both of you to gain confidence.

Enjoy your ride!
 
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