ADVICE - Im loaning and my horse keeps morphing

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diluteherd

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I need some advice.

Im trying to loan my mare out at the minute, and really its not going too well.

I am overly honest about her as yes, she does pull the odd face with me but has never bitten. Out hacking she is very quiet, the odd tiny spook but nothing that would unseat you unless you are super unbalanced and dont have a clue.

I've explained what she is like said Im looking for a more experienced rider who is happy to hack and do light schooling.

Soon as I have anyone come to view her she morphs like the hulk. It is extremely embarrassing and makes me look like a total fraudster. She goes to bite, she puts her ears back and is just beastly. Out hacking she becomes some sort of rabies infected horse, she will properly test the rider, over emphasise anything she may look at...

Today after once again a rather unsuccessful viewing, I was hacking her back for the people, she was being a complete monster with me too - so it can't be the riders. I rode round the farm to go back to the yard and they cut through my garden back to the yard soon as they were out of sight she morphed back to normal pony - happily walking along, nothing bothering her, no spinning, reversing, head tossing, jogging.


I've had this mare since she was 11 months and she is now 8. She has been ridden by others and always been fine, been on livery yards etc nothing really seemed to bother her.

It just seems now I have people coming to look to loan, she knows and is doing her best not to go. It's already making an already heart breaking experience a hundred times worse.

Anybody with any experience of this with their horses or ponies from the past?

Im dreading this afternoon as I have someone coming to meet her. Im now ready to throw the towel in and just keep her at home, she wont get half the attention or ridden work but it seems as though she just doesnt want to go.
 
Tbh a experienced rider/owner should be able to seethrough it. Iv got it with my highland as he's to use to being mummys boy and my tb who is a sweetheart in every way turns into a monster if anybody new trys to handle him. Hopefully somebody will be able to seethrough it and give her a go after all it is a stranger to them
 
It may be disheartening, but at least it shows them (and you) that they are not up to her. Better that way at the viewing than when they've taken her and then they start having problems...

You will get someone for a edgier horse, it will just take more time..xx
 
This quote by the late Marilyn Moneroe springs to mind:

“I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.”

Carry on as you are - someone who can handle her will come along and love her for who she is.
 
That's the problem, I have said experienced riders, but because she can only really do hacking, light schooling, small courses, I get a lot of interest from unsuitable people, I do a complete vetting of them or as much as I can do via the telephone or email.

Perhaps I am just unlucky with who I have come and view her.

I think though, as much as I dont want to loan, it will do her the world of good for her education to learn to have a new 'mummy' for a while and discover that I'm not the only reliable one in the world.
 
Advertise her saying that she is a narky madam for the first few meetings, and you would like someone who will see past this, and come back a few times to see that she does indeed settle down.
 
Oh dear, I'm sorry you're having a bit of a hard time with her!

Have you thought that perhaps she's playing up because she can feel your tension? Your post reads like you really don't want to give her up and if you've already had a few bad viewings perhaps she's picking up on your anxiety, especially if she's a sensitive type. After all she doesn't really know that you are planning to loan her and that if she plays up she won't have to go - luckily for us horses aren't able to rationalise like that (god help us if they did! :D)

Think carefully about what you want to do, if loaning is 100% the right thing to do for both of you then go into it with a positive attitude. Perhaps you could even invite those viewing her to visit a couple of times to build up a relationship with her rather than just jumping on to set both your minds at ease?
I hope it works out for you :)
 
PucciNPoni said:
This quote by the late Marilyn Moneroe springs to mind:

“I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.”

Carry on as you are - someone who can handle her will come along and love her for who she is.
Click to expand...

This is the saying that totally sums her up 100%. Thank you for telling me it.

She is a marilyn type horse too... curvy in all the right places, shockingly blonde hair, loves to be made beautiful, can be insecure but also shine in the lime light... she is just lacking the bright red lipstick!

Thank you for the responses, its touching that she is so unwilling to leave, but I also hate that people probably come away thinking Im a complete liar!
 
Princess Jess said:
Have you thought that perhaps she's playing up because she can feel your tension? Your post reads like you really don't want to give her up and if you've already had a few bad viewings perhaps she's picking up on your anxiety, especially if she's a sensitive type. After all she doesn't really know that you are planning to loan her and that if she plays up she won't have to go - luckily for us horses aren't able to rationalise like that (god help us if they did! :D)
Click to expand...

As you've had her for so long, from such an early age, she is probably very closely bonded to you, and as the above poster said, picking up your vibes. I have several who behave badly with anyone other than me, but luckily I'm not considering rehoming them or I would be in your situation too.

Do you know anyone else you could ask to ride her a couple of times, then she can get used to being ridden by someone she isn't familiar with, and you can 'practise' viewings without the pressure?
 
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if it makes you feel any better my mare seems to turn into a complete idiot the minute i try to ride off the farm and people are anywhere nearby:o she plants, reverses and spins to avoid going through the gate, she'll go eventually but we have to have the performance first! once out of sight of everyone she reverts back to her normal self:rolleyes: i swear she just likes to make me look like an incompetent twit:mad:;)
 
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