Advice, letting someone ride your horse

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Panoramic

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Just some advice really please....

I have been letting someone ride my horse whilst her horse is lame and I have been unwell.

She has been doing well competing him whilst I have been unwell with my permission. I would liek to point out that I have driven her to shows in my lorry and groomed for her all day.

During this time, in my opinion, we have been doing each other a favour...she has been keeping the horse fit whilst I have been unable to ride,and to give her her due she has improved him... and I have loaned her my horse in place of hers which is horrible lame and on box rest. I have never asked for a penny.

Recently I have expressed an interest in riding my horse again as I am now riding fit. This will only be a coulple of times a week.

Firstly, she has started schooling him the day before I say I am riding - and I never take my horse in the school two days running.

Secondly, when I said I may take him to a local show, she turned to another livery and made comments such as

"well now I have done all the hard work she wants him back" etc etc etc

That is not the case - I just want to enjoy my horse.

She has also now turned around to someone and said she has booked my horse's show diary until September so I cant compete!!!!!

Please help. Am I being unreasonable....she has also emailed me saying she will stop riding him (which I dont want as I still cannot ride daily) if I take him to competitions....
 
Her horse is coming back into work, she has said she is happy to carry on riding my horse>?

How do I remind her without upsetting her?
 
Oh dear, what a shame if she has sent entries off and paid for things without your permission
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It is your horse, she has had a horse to ride - would she have had time to ride for you if her horse was sound?

I am in a similar possision at the moment with Donkey on box rest and have been lucky enough to borrow a super horse to ride and take to camp last week. However he is not my horse, I am honoured that the owners let me ride him and would not for one moment dream of telling them what to do with the horse
 
My god, get rid of the cheeky girl and start riding your horse yourself. I'm sure he'll be ok with less work
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just remember that he's yours, why pay for his upkeep so someone else can take over and have all the fun!?
 
i would actually talk to her - dont trust what you hear. Also sounds like she has put the work in so I would say how grateful you are and how well he goes. do you want to ride him full time, then make it clear and offer her days to ride, hes your horse so take control but be nice about it. Good luck am glad u can ride again its horrid when you cant. x
 
Er no! You are not being unreasonable at all! I think that her attitude is absolutely terrible and I will be honest here, but if you were me, I would probably tell her to sod off!!

She is emotionally blackmailing you for a start - telling you that she will stop riding him if you take him to competitions - he's YOUR horse for god's sake - where the hell does she think she's coming from!!! Yeah, okay, she has been doing you a favour whilst you were unfit, but you have likewise done one for her, and a big one at that - she has had a horse to do basically what she likes with, complete with groom, whilst her horse has been unfit, and not had to pay a penny!

Tell her that you are sorry if she feels that way, but the fact remains that he belongs to you - thank her for her help but that you now want to start riding and competing yourself - that YOU are going to choose what days you ride and if she doesn't like it, tough, because that is the way that it is going to be!

Don't let her blackmail you! If you need some help, as you can only do two days a week, advertise for a sharer - you will end up with someone very competent and willing, who will also be able to help out with your costs too.

This woman needs to be given her marching orders. Cheeky cow!
 
I assume she knew that this would be a fairly short term arrangement, until you were well enough to ride again? I think she's been a bit presumptuous booking him into shows until September!

He's your horse. If you want to start riding him again, that's your privilege. She can carry on as you want her to, or give him up.
 
Ok, I'm in exactly the same position with my horse at the moment in regards to someone else riding him for me.

I too, think in a way we have done each other favours, her horse is retired and I have been unable to ride. However her favour to me is in my opinion far greater than mine to her, as it has made everything so much easier for me.

I am about to (hopefully) start riding again but I have made it clear to her that she is more than welcome to carry on riding and competing him. In fact I hope that she will as I would like to get something else!

Maybe rather than letting all the tittle tattle that occurs on yards continue, have a frank and honest conversation with the person who has been riding for you. Explain that you are grateful for all that she has done for you by keeping your horse in work. But that now you are able to ride again it would be nice if you could both fit in around each other in regards to the work he does and where he competes.

She needs your permission to take the horse to shows anyway, so if she wants to fill her diary up that is up to her, but it doesn't mean your horses' diary is that full!
 
end o day its your horse and what you say goes, talk to her but be nice, be respectful and dont loose your temper(easier said than done, i know)
 
Always a tricky situation, as horses are very expensive, personal possessions! Personally I hate other people riding the boys, so tend to lunge them when I can't ride, for whatever reason. Could you not just tell her that the problem is remedied now and exercise him yourself? I know it must be difficult for you or else you would have doen that in the first place... am kind of at loss as to what else to suggest.
 
she is seriously taking liberties!!

fair enough she has been a help to you but it sounds like its been no chore for her ,

to keep it civil i would explain clearly to her what is going to happen in future , this is your horse , be clear what you want from it , offer her only the oppertunity to do what you are happy for her to do , & personally i would add at the end that if she now feels she needs the time for her own horse so doesn't want to be involved with yours you quite understand ( code for tow my line or sling your hook
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She's pushing her luck IMO!!

I ride somebody elses horse and would not dream of what they can/can't do with her!

Send her on her way, I'm sure there is somebody who isn't as dominating that can help you.
 
what a shame it has come to this...i also ride for someone else and i wouldnt even think about entering any event without the owners permission...be honest i quite happy to do the schooling/working and the owners to compete
At least she has her own horse and surely her horses welbeing come before anyone elses horse
She must respect you as at the end of the day you pay the bills and the horse belongs to you...maybe try to speak to her and if she doesnt like it....tuff luck, and find someone else to help you...there loads of us who would love to help owners with their horses
i never have had problems riding for someone else...the only disadvantage is that you do get attach to the horse which is not always a bad thing, but alway gotta remind oneself that the horse/pony dosent belong to you
good luck ,hope you can resolve this
 
I think she seems to be taking some serious liberties. You have both helped each other out but she really does need to realise that he is YOUR horse.

I think sit down and have a frank chat with her about what you intend to do and if she says she doesn't like it. Tough.
 
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