Advice needed: Getting people to shut up when you're there to see your horses?

[Andiamo]

Anyone have any tips on how to get people to shut up, when you are there to spend quality time with your horses? I (and all of us) invest a lot of time and energy into our horses, and we make many sacrifices to have them. I find when I am at the yard, selfish OCD nonstop talkers continually get in my face to talk nonstop about their 12 lame horses, without giving one toss about my horses, or me. They are simply mouthpieces that will go on for hours - to the polite person who doesn't have balls to tell them to go away. Yesterday, after being in hospital for some days, I arrived at the yard to spend time with my horses, and one person talked non-stop for 1.5 hours about her 12 rescue horses who are all lame or buck her off. She's about 22 stone, which might have something to do with the lameness and bucking, and all the horses are below 15hh. I only wanted to spend time with my horses, I did not want to listen to her self indulgent, whining as she followed me around everywhere I went, not stopping her incessant talking for one moment.

At no point, did she ask anything about me, and she did not even acknowledge my horses' existence. She doesn't know their names, or their ages, or anything about them, she had no interest in them whatsoever, and only wanted someone to whinge to and tell her life story to. It ruined my day at the yard, it was a day I had looked forward to, after being in hospital, I looked forward to seeing my horses again, but it was ruined by this person. I am polite, so it does not come naturally how to deal with this selfish OCD talking. How can I stop it before it starts, and get people to back off? I am there for my horses, not to listen to endless hours of nonstop drivel by people who do not give one toss about me or my horses.
Advice appreciated.

 

[DD]

just tell her she's a fat cow and to bugger off.

 

[sportsmansB]

Earphones? You don't have to have anything actually playing but you can point at them and hope people go away?!

 

[Andiamo]

just tell her she's a fat cow and to bugger off.

well, it was on my mind, and it would definitely solve the problem with her. The trouble is, the others do it as well. People just OCD talk about themselves. I asked a woman if her horse could have an apple - (I had a bag of apples) - the answer went on for half an hour, I had to stand there listening to his digestive trouble history, and details of his diarrhoea.... it was a simple "yes or no" question.... it just seems that people have no OFF switch!!! It's a tricky balance, you need to be polite to people, but at the same time, the only reason you're at the yard, is to see your beloved babies and spend time with them.

 

[AmyMay]

You stood there for an hour and a half being talked at?? 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️😱😱

 

[Andiamo]

You stood there for an hour and a half being talked at?? 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️😱😱

I was tending to my young horses - she stood next to me the entire time by my stables, and followed me everywhere I went. Even when I kept saying, "I need to pay attention to them, so I am not listening to you, as I don't want to get kicked in the head"...she didn't back off or shut up.

 

[littleshetland]

several options

a...win the lottery and buy your own yard.
b...Ear plugs.
c...wear a T-shirt wth appropriate slogan on the front (the second word should be 'off')
d...pretend to be engaged in a REALLY important phone conversation.
e...Explain to her that you've had a long, hard day and as charming and invigorating companion that she is.....you'd really like some quiet time alone with your horses.

Good luck...you really do have my sympathies.

 

[stormox]

Go into your stable with your horse, shut the door and ignore them. Hopefully they will go away....

 

[Goldenstar]

Sometimes you have to blunt very very blunt , give it a go.

 

[MissTyc]

I have one of these on my yard. After many polite attempts to make her shut up, I finally cracked and bellowed: GO AWAY, LEAVE ME ALONE!
She paused, briefly, then nodded and said "yeah, no, I will, but I just ....." and continued talking about something inane for another half hour. She follows me around, touches my things, and makes up stories that clearly aren't true. I have learned to completely and utterly ignore her. I feel terrible about it, on a human level, but she will . not . shut . up.

Hope yours is more receptive!

 

[Leandy]

I would ignore completely and carry on with what I'm doing without stopping and would'nt make eye contact. The key with someone normal is not to engage, at all. If they have an ounce of common sense they will realise that you are busy and wander off to pester someone else. If that doesn't work, I would conclude that said person is perhaps significantly lacking in social skills, in which case I would really try not to be rude (probably not their fault after all), but would say very clearly that I don't have time to chat, I've had a hard day and please would they leave me alone, and then carry on as above. Not much else you can do??

 

[SpringArising]

just tell her she's a fat cow and to bugger off.

Are you being serious? That's nasty as hell. She sounds annoying but no need to make someone feel like shit about their weight just for talking your ear off.

 

[Velcrobum]

Get a pair of very obvious ginormous headphones then totally ignore her, do not even look at her if she says anything just pretend you cannot hear her. If she is 22stone and she is riding her ponies that is a definite welfare issue and I for one would report to an appropriate welfare agency.

 

[cobgoblin]

Bore her with your own woes.

 

[Challaborough Christmas Tree]

Some big preferably brightly coloured over ear headphones, practise a resting bitch face in the mirror and perfect your eye roll

 

[Red-1]

Usually I simply say that i have had a busy week and want to simply do my horses without talking, but it sounds like you tried that without success.

Headphones is the way to go IME. Every time she startes, stop, pull one out and say "what was that?" then when it is something inane give a short answer, put the earphone back in and carry on.

 

[tiahatti]

I work with someone who won't ever stop talking so I think I know how you feel. The person I work with does not notice subtle hints etc. Ideally you don't want to say anything that she could use to start yard politics etc. Have you tried saying that you are sorry you can't chat as you only have a set time to do your horses in. If that doesn't work tape her mouth shut with a stable bandage!

 

[tda]

If you wear earphones then if she comes close just start talking, "I'm on the phone, sorry" 😁

 

[Auslander]

I got a brilliant mug for Christmas a few years ago. It says "I'm not feeling very talky today. Off you f***"
Unfortunately, everyone thinks I am joking when I take it up to the yard!

 

[DabDab]

Stop her next time she's talking on and say "I'm really sorry, I think I must've given out the wrong impression, I'm really not very nice, and I don't like people"

 

[Mrs. Jingle]

headphones - and do NOT respond to any attempt to talk to you just steadfastly carry on doing your own thing and totally blank her. I think you probably do need to be quite rude to some people who carry on like this but I would try the headphones 'cant hear a damn thing' first..she sounds so thick skinned she will probably tug at your sleeve or something, naturally this will spook you like a hyperactive young TB......you will leap back...clutching at your dangerously racing heart...possibly might knock your head on something (lightly of course ) stagger about a bit and take the opportunity of your state of complete shock to tell her in no uncertain terms you do NOT want anyone trying to converse with you while you have your head phones in and are busy with your horses....you now feel quite faint.........your 'pills' have been left at home.....go for it big time

 

[The-Bookworm]

A hosepipe.

 

[BMWKIPP]

Simple, rent a field, and put your horse in it. You sound vile and should you be so rude to anyone on the yard, I hope you get chucked off it.

 

[MiJodsR2BlinkinTite]

I'd be inclined to go the headphones route.......

 

[Antw23uk]

Simple, rent a field, and put your horse in it. You sound vile and should you be so rude to anyone on the yard, I hope you get chucked off it.

You don't happen to be 22 stone with a load of rescue lame horses under 15hh do you?

 

[SEL]

"Don't mean to be rude but I'm in a real rush today - loads to get through"(with false smile), then walk off.

"Grab a fork and give me a hand mucking out this stable". Usually causes annoying people to vanish.

"Can you hold her?" That would be my mare whose reputation is far worse than reality. People usually make their excuses.

I do like the earphone idea though.

 

[Baywonder]

God this used to drive me nuts! Most times, I would just want to see to my horse, and not get caught up in the latest tittle tattle on the yard. I agree the "sorry I can't stop to talk" comment usually works - it always did for me. Luckily for me, I always got to the yard just before the masses arrived, so I was able to tack up and get out on a ride before I got caught!

Failing that, just tell them you have been throwing up all night, and I wouldn't come too close, as you would hate them to catch it...…..

 

[dreamcometrue]

Tell her you have a headache and need silence. Every day.

 

[DD]

A hosepipe.

Brilliant

 

[DD]

You don't happen to be 22 stone with a load of rescue lame horses under 15hh do you?

ROLF brilliant !