Advice needed on path to take with my TB.

[Scarlett]

Please bear with me as this may take a while to explain but I need some help/advice/opinions….

I have a nice 6yo Tb gelding, Darcy, who has had a few ups and downs over the last couple of years I have had him, and we have recently came to a cross roads with him and I am unsure what path to take.

Originally I bought him as a project – but liked him so much he ended up staying. However my old horse, who I still had when I bought Darcy, was PTS and my confidence went with him. It’s been a struggle ever since but Darcy and I have muddled along, sometimes getting to the point where we could go to small shows together and have some fun, but mostly we havn’t done much more then pootle round the school. I had another couple of horses come and go that were not suitable for me and then I ended up also with a lovely TB mare who is perfect for me. Now, Darcy is technically my OH’s and has taught OH to ride from scratch, Darcy has never been anything but an angel with OH and they can now canter and jump little jumps. However Darcys attitude is getting in the way of OH progressing any further as he is about ready to go to small shows, hack out, sponsored rides etc but he can’t as when Darcy is taken out of his comfort zone he can be a right sod and OH isn’t up to that standard yet. Darcy is also a bit small for 6 foot OH.

I have had a couple of people come in and ride Darcy for me – he’s been out SJ, XC etc - and with a confident rider he does pretty well! Theres been a lovely girl taking him out recently but I am unsure what she could commit too. He’s capable of half decent flat work, has a decent jump (although he is going through a stage of spooking at fillers at the mo!) and jumps PN XC stuff when out schooling. However now I have my mare and her and I get on so well that I have no real desire to get on Darcy and try to do these things with him, I havn’t sat on him for over a week at the moment and have no plans too.

My issue is this – OH won’t sell him. He still hopes that one day Darcy will be all grown up and he’ll be a better rider by then and it will all fall together, OH wants to ride more, get lessons etc and improve enough that he will be able to ride him. TBH I can see his point a bit as he and Darcy have the same relationship I have with my mare and I would never want to let her go. OH doesn’t want to compete at any huge level and would be happy if he and Darcy could eventually go do RC stuff. However I’m not able, or really all that willing, to work Darcy regularily, or correctly, over this winter. Him and I just don’t gel, I ride him differently from other horses and we just don’t get on and neither of us enjoy it. I also don’t think its fair on him to just trot round the school as I cant hack him out (yard on busy A road and he naps at the gate in the traffic and again I’m not willing to ride him in this situation), plus I have demanding full time job and a dodgy heart which limit my time and what I am able to do physically. I could have my instructor work with him more but funds just won’t allow that, plus I want her help with my mare.

So – what should I do with him? Do you think it is possible to find someone who can commit to riding him regularily but who is looking for something to compete? Where should I advertise to attract the right kind of person? What do I say I’m looking for? I would let someone take him away from our yard if the arrangement was right, I’d also be willing to help with costs if the right person could take him and was actually doing something with him. He’s happiest when he has a job to do so I’d ideally want him to be out doing stuff, if he was to be standing about doing nothing he can stay here with me and do that. OH would let him move away from us if he could get to go see him compete etc.

Darcy could be a really good competitive horse for someone, just not me, but if OH won’t part with him then what do I do?

 

[Joss]

See if you can find him a loan home, advertise in local saddlery shops etc But you will have to filter out the people who are not as good as they think they are. Just make sure you have a proper contract with whoever you loan him to. If you were succesful with finding an experienced rider to loan him. You could maybe try to find a more suitable horse for your OH. Once he gets the opportunity to ride a 'good' horse he may feel more inclined to sell Darcy on to someone who is better suited to him. You dont feel quite so attached to them once you are not looking after them on a day to day basis & he may get enjoyment from seeing the horse do well with someone else.

You wont know if there is someone right for this horse out there until you try.....

 

[Scarlett]

Thank you Joss.

From other folks experience the people who replied to ads in our local saddlery shop were 'numpties' so although I will stick an advert up in there, I'd maybe also try websites/magazines aimed at eventers/competative riders if anyone can suggest them....

 

[RachelFerd]

hi scarlett

it is a slightly tricky situation isn't it - hard to know what would be best for all.

would it maybe be possible to find someone locally who would want to compete so that your OH could still enjoy some of the day to day riding?

I am not far away, so I will pm you if I hear of anyone looking for something.

 

[karenpi]

I would say you want a sharer or a loan - but to keep Darcy at his present yard. That way you keep control of how he is ridden/handled etc. If you don't need much of a financial contribution, then its much easier to find someone. Failing that, if you think he has potential - you say he has done PN - maybe find a serious amateur / junior rider to take him on and ride. Most professional riders can't afford to buy horses and most of the horses they ride are owned by someone else.

 

[Scarlett]

Rachel - Ideally I'd love to find someone who could do that, we have decent facilities and I have transport to take Darcy out and about but can't find anyone who can commit to more than a day a week which isn't enough.

If you do hear of anyone let me know!

 

[Emma123]

Where abouts are you? And how many times a week ideally would you like him to be ridden? (I.e. if your OH wants to ride him as well?)

 

[Scarlett]

We are just outside Guildford... would be happy for him to be ridden 3-5 times a week, OH would maybe ride once or twice or lunge....

 

[tricksibell85]

Hey,

Cant really help with the situation, but wanted to tell you not to give up hope!!

I compete a horse for a lady who can no longer rides! Have been doing so for 2 years now, and it works well for both of us. Some background:-

I ride him 5 days a week
I pay for all competition enteries
She pays his livery etc.

It does actually work quite well, and u will find someone who is committed! I would not worry about his nappyness etc, as when i started riding said horse he was a nightmare for about 6 months, now he is out BSJAing at quite a high level, and is winning open XC's.

You will find someone who is committed to improving your horse.

Please do remember though - you need to get along with them 2!!

TB x

 

[SillyMare]

Talk to your OH - selling your first horse is always terrible but sometimes it is the right thing to do.

It sounds as though Darcy isn't quite what you need - he will be perfect for someone else.

Moving horses on is really painful (impossible to imagine anyone else will love him as much as you) - sometimes it is the right thing to do.

I still find selling horses really hard - gets better after the first one but always horrid.

 

[Scarlett]

Thanks everyone - going to sort out pics and get some adverts up for loaner/sharer/rider/whatever and see how we go...