Advice please.

[Dixiedoo]

Hi, I brought my first horse just over 2 months ago. She's a 14hh, 7 year old cob cross. I brought her as a mother daughter share, my girls are 10 and 13. We are all novices and I mainly wanted her for hacking.

I brought Merlin from a dealer, (maybe in hindsight this was a mistake). When viewing her, myself and my girls rode her in the school and, my eldest for a short hack. We spent around 2 hours with Merlin, and the dealer and all was positive. Everything I was told was exactly what I was looking for in a pony, safety being my top priority.

She arrived a few days later, we didnt have any tack for her, as she's our 1st pony we started from scratch. I brought a treeless saddle, which was highly recommended as she's quite wide with low withers. Unfortunately by the time the tack had been purchased, about 10 days after getting her, I had broken my arm in a non horse related accident so I was then unable to ride her. We took her out for walks and I had a friend riding her, albeit, infrequently. I was told she had been ridden 3/4 times a week previously but is the type of pony who doesn't need regular work. We tried lunging but me with a broken arm found it difficult and I just couldn't get the knack of it!

Then out hacking, my 10 yr old rode her for around 25 minutes, just walking, with out problem. Then my 13 year old daughter rode her, for a short time, then asked her to trot in a fairly open space. Unfortunately, Merlin tanked off, resulting in my daughter falling off and badly breaking her arm. Merlin then bolted off, my priority being my daughter so I let her go. By the time she was found, I was told her saddle was round her tummy but she had ended up by her paddock.

Obviously by now, all our confidence has taken a huge knock.

I then got a saddler out who said the treeless saddle was a bad fit and so I purchased a new, properly fitted saddle!

Around 2 weeks after my eldest daughter was injured, I hired a school where my 10 year old rode her, just walking to try to regain some confidence. I had a short ride too, and she was an angel. Very calm and placid, just followed me round the school as I walked alongside.

A friend's experienced daughter rode her in her paddock in all 3 paces, again she was brilliant, although she was noticed to be a little strong and I was advised to try a 3 ring french gag which I brought but didn't get round to fitting. Merlin was previously in a fuller cheek snaffle bit, but as I say the french gag hasn't yet been fitted. My 10 year old rode her a week or so later in the paddock, on the lead rein this time, again just walking and Merlin got a little enthusiastic, resulting in my daughter falling off and I was knocked to the ground.

I then replied to an advert from an experienced rider offering free riding to excercise horses. She came to meet Merlin one day, and rode her the next day. She just rode her in walk for around 5 minutes and Merlin tanked off/bolted into the barbed wire fencing separating 2 paddocks. One with 2 geldings in, and I noticed the following day, Merlin is in season. The rider was clearly very shaken up and badly cut by the barbed wire. I was absolutely apologetic and heartbroken Merlin had behaved this way. She was also cut by the barbed wire, which she became caught on.

The following day the vet came out to check her wounds, her teeth, and her back for an explanation of her behaviour. She noted significant tenderness in her back, directly where the saddle sits, but we are unable to determine if this is a result of what happened or if it was pre-existing.

Merlin is so lovely and gentle on the ground, she can be a little mare-ish at times but my children can catch her, walk her, groom her on their own.

The vet is returning after her week of bute and rest to see if she still has pain in her back, and if so she has recommended physio.

I just feel so disappointed and am really not one to sell animals on, we have all bonded with her and will do all I can for her but our safety comes first.

I'm just looking from any advice or words of wisdom please.

 

[Moon River]

Poor you, not a great start to horse ownership! You don't mention having Merlin vetted before you bought her, did you? I think at this stage, take a deep breath, let everything settle down with all of the various injuries and ask around for recommendation for a good instructor to come and assess the situation first hand. You can ask on here if you put a general area, maybe start another post with the area in the title to get more attention. You do all sound very inexperienced and you need someone really experienced, not just relatively more experienced, to guide you with what would be an appropriate way forwards.

Barbed wire isn't recommended for horse fencing because of the high risk of serious injury and that combined with you not saying that people at the yard are helping you out makes me think that it would be worth looking round for another yard that is geared up towards new owners and has a lot of help on hand to steer you in the right direction. Horse owning can be amazing and can be awful, depending on your support network, so look towards making this a much nicer experience!

 

[Dixiedoo]

Thank you so much for taking the time to read and respond to my very long post!

No, I didn't have her vetted unfortunately when I brought her.

We are inexperienced and rent the paddock, so aren't in a yard. There are supportive people around that have offered to help me but sometimes offering and actually doing are 2 different things! I appreciate we are all busy though. Unfortunately some of the people around are abit more 'I told you so' types, even though they told me after I'd brought her. She is fairly forward going at times but had been safe.

I will seek professional help and support once she has been seen by the vet and depending on the outcome of her assessment.

Thanks again for taking the time to reply, sometimes it's just nice to hear friendly advice and support!

 

[JillA]

As you have just found out, they aren't machines - and particularly cobs who can be very opinionated. Maybe for a few weeks or months you might consider keeping her at a yard where help and good advice is available. Help relating to behaviour, tack fit, what and when to feed, your relationship with her as well as your daughters' - buying a horse really is the tip of the iceberg, and not only financially. Then, when you are confident and happy that you know how to handle her and how to convince her of what you need her to do, bring her home.
Don't blame the dealer - most dealers are experts at matching horse to buyer, and most will exchange if the horse turns out not to be suitable. None of which you would get from a private sale. Plus horses can get quite stressed when they move so need time to assess their environment - and you.

 

[dogatemysalad]

I don't think the dealer or the horse are at fault here. You are an inexperienced first time owner without the support of a good yard owner and instructor. You've done your best, but for the sake of yourself, your daughters and the horse, please find a yard where the owner is able to support you.

 

[paddy555]

Then out hacking, my 10 yr old rode her for around 25 minutes, just walking, with out problem. Then my 13 year old daughter rode her, for a short time, then asked her to trot in a fairly open space. Unfortunately, Merlin tanked off, resulting in my daughter falling off and badly breaking her arm. Merlin then bolted off,

.

I'm sorry your introduction to horse ownership has been so fraught. A lot of what you have described is predictable, for example the quote above. Sadly you can only learn by experience. Taking a relatively new horse, or in fact any horse that is feeling a bit pleased with itself and trotting/cantering around an open space is often a recipe for disaster until you have got the measure of the horse.

I feel you are going to struggle if you carry on as you are. If you want to keep her can I suggest you give up your field and move to a riding school that does livery. Hopefully they will have both indoor and outdoor schools and your children can learn to ride her on supervised lessons, perhaps with others, where the instructor will be able to read the pony and keep the children safe. If you are more experienced you can take over the hacking and exercise and then gradually introduce the children to that as they get more confident.
You also have the possibility that the pony is trying it on. Many new horses/ponies as they move to a new home try this after a few days. They just want to see what the boundaries are going to be and if they are really going to have to do as they are asked.

I see you are taking advice about the bit for example which is good but it is important when taking advice about a horse to make sure the source of the advice is experienced. A lot of people are keen to give their views but an experienced person would ride the pony/ watch it being ridden and base suggestions on that.
I echo the comments about barbed wire. If you need to divide a paddock use electric fencing.

Good luck and I hope you can get some guidance.

 

[Meowy Catkin]

We are inexperienced and rent the paddock, so aren't in a yard.

Is she on her own? IE are there any other horses in the paddock?

I have to agree that you need to move to a yard with experienced help, preferably with an instructor on site who can help you on a regular basis.

 

[bonny]

Has she got company in your field ?

 

[Dixiedoo]

As you have just found out, they aren't machines - and particularly cobs who can be very opinionated. Maybe for a few weeks or months you might consider keeping her at a yard where help and good advice is available. Help relating to behaviour, tack fit, what and when to feed, your relationship with her as well as your daughters' - buying a horse really is the tip of the iceberg, and not only financially. Then, when you are confident and happy that you know how to handle her and how to convince her of what you need her to do, bring her home.
Don't blame the dealer - most dealers are experts at matching horse to buyer, and most will exchange if the horse turns out not to be suitable. None of which you would get from a private sale. Plus horses can get quite stressed when they move so need time to assess their environment - and you.

Thank you for your reply and words of advice.
Yes, moving to a yard may be an option, definitely something I will look into.
Thanks again.

 

[Dixiedoo]

Has she got company in your field ?

No, she is on her own but there is a small herd next door who she enjoys being as close as possible. A friend is looking for a pony for her daughter who will eventually join mine. That's the plan anyway!

 

[Dixiedoo]

Is she on her own? IE are there any other horses in the paddock?

I have to agree that you need to move to a yard with experienced help, preferably with an instructor on site who can help you on a regular basis.

Thank you, it is something I will look into. She is on her own but there is a small herd next door who she enjoys being close to. My friend is looking for a pony which will eventually join mine.

 

[bonny]

No, she is on her own but there is a small herd next door who she enjoys being as close as possible. A friend is looking for a pony for her daughter who will eventually join mine. That's the plan anyway!

That could be your problem, a lot of horses will hate being on their own, if I was you I would get her company now or move to a yard

 

[Dixiedoo]

I'm sorry your introduction to horse ownership has been so fraught. A lot of what you have described is predictable, for example the quote above. Sadly you can only learn by experience. Taking a relatively new horse, or in fact any horse that is feeling a bit pleased with itself and trotting/cantering around an open space is often a recipe for disaster until you have got the measure of the horse.

I feel you are going to struggle if you carry on as you are. If you want to keep her can I suggest you give up your field and move to a riding school that does livery. Hopefully they will have both indoor and outdoor schools and your children can learn to ride her on supervised lessons, perhaps with others, where the instructor will be able to read the pony and keep the children safe. If you are more experienced you can take over the hacking and exercise and then gradually introduce the children to that as they get more confident.
You also have the possibility that the pony is trying it on. Many new horses/ponies as they move to a new home try this after a few days. They just want to see what the boundaries are going to be and if they are really going to have to do as they are asked.

I see you are taking advice about the bit for example which is good but it is important when taking advice about a horse to make sure the source of the advice is experienced. A lot of people are keen to give their views but an experienced person would ride the pony/ watch it being ridden and base suggestions on that.
I echo the comments about barbed wire. If you need to divide a paddock use electric fencing.

Good luck and I hope you can get some guidance.

Thankyou for your reply and words of wisdom! I will look into moving to a yard. It is early days and we are still getting to fully know each other and it is a huge learning curve! I'm more than open to advice and support but I guess we all have to start somewhere.
Thank you again for takjng the time to reply.

 

[Dixiedoo]

That could be your problem, a lot of horses will hate being on their own, if I was you I would get her company now or move to a yard

Ok, thank you. I'm trying to be patient with my friend who is looking for a pony but she doesn't seem to be coming up with much, or even viewing ponies.
I'll have a long hard think thank you again for your advice.

 

[Meowy Catkin]

Unfortunately you have not set yourself or the pony up to succeed. Despite there being a possibility of a pony companion soon, I would still strongly recommend that you move to livery with on site support from an experienced instructor.

 

[JillA]

Ok, thank you. I'm trying to be patient with my friend who is looking for a pony but she doesn't seem to be coming up with much, or even viewing ponies.
I'll have a long hard think thank you again for your advice.

I suggest while you are waiting you get on to a yard for help and advice, just for a few weeks, then when your friend does get a pony you will be so much further forward. Hope the companion pony is nice and laid back, it makes all the difference

And can I say a quick well done for asking for help and advice - too many people would just try and muddle through until someone comes along who tells you to "give it a good thrashing". I kid you not.

 

[Dixiedoo]

I suggest while you are waiting you get on to a yard for help and advice, just for a few weeks, then when your friend does get a pony you will be so much further forward. Hope the companion pony is nice and laid back, it makes all the difference

And can I say a quick well done for asking for help and advice - too many people would just try and muddle through until someone comes along who tells you to "give it a good thrashing". I kid you not.

Thank you for your reply. I will definitely look into yards nearby. Would it be possible to move in for just a few weeks?

This is a very difficult learning curve for myself and my family so I appreciate you being kind!

 

[Meowy Catkin]

I would be concerned that a few weeks in a yard might not be long enough. Obviously I don't know you or your pony personally.

In your case I would definitely move to a yard due to it having several horses there, support for you and your girls, a safe place to ride (indoor or outdoor school), people to hack with (choose someone with a bombproof horse and a kind rider who will look after you), advice available for medical issues etc...

I also wouldn't be in a hurry to return to a paddock without a support system and possibly one companion. Are you experienced enough to cope with separation anxiety? Can you recognise the early stages of colic or laminitis?

I really don't mean to be nasty. I broke my back at 16 (and know how easily and quickly things can go wrong) and wouldn't wish such an accident on anyone. We all need to set things up for success and I do think that a good yard stacks the cards more in your favour compared to a paddock without that support structure.

 

[JillA]

Would it be possible to move in for just a few weeks?

Don't see why not if the yard has vacancies - bird in the hand etc. Riding stables/livery would be ideal if there is an approachable one nearby

 

[Moon River]

A riding school that's a registered Pony Club centre would likely be ideal, its a lot more fun for kids if they can do stuff with friends.

 

[Summit]

Oh I do feel for you . What should be a an excitable time for you has turned out to be a worry. Lots of good advice which I think you should take . The open space on a new pony was the mistake but you weren’t to know. Somewhere with an arena/school so you and your girls can ride safely will be your best friend. Try not to lose heart. Perhaps if we know whereabouts you are someone could recommend an instructor or someone here may come out and see you

 

[cobgoblin]

I'm really wondering if the back tenderness is the root of the problem... It sounds as though she's OK being ridden for a bit but then perhaps pain kicks in and she runs away from it?

 

[HashRouge]

OP, some great advice on here so I won't add to it. But I did want to say that you are far from the only person who has bought a first horse that has turned out not to be the easiest. I'm sure there are quite a few of us on here who have done so - I know that I did!

My (completely non-horsey) mum and I went out and bought a 15hh, feisty and unschooled Arab mare when I was 11. Like your mare, she was kind on the ground, but she turned out to be quite a handful to ride at first and I remember during the first few months I would consider our rides a success if I had managed to walk her once round the arena without her bucking. But guess what? That was 18 years ago, and we got through it. In fact, I am now 29 and she is 26, and I have just got back from giving her a kiss and a cuddle in the field, where she is now retired. So it can work out! Within six months we were starting to turn into a pretty good team, it just needed time and some experienced help.

So what I am trying to say, is if you can give her time for her back to get better and then get a good instructor, I'm sure things will work out.

 

[Dixiedoo]

I would be concerned that a few weeks in a yard might not be long enough. Obviously I don't know you or your pony personally.

In your case I would definitely move to a yard due to it having several horses there, support for you and your girls, a safe place to ride (indoor or outdoor school), people to hack with (choose someone with a bombproof horse and a kind rider who will look after you), advice available for medical issues etc...

I also wouldn't be in a hurry to return to a paddock without a support system and possibly one companion. Are you experienced enough to cope with separation anxiety? Can you recognise the early stages of colic or laminitis?

I really don't mean to be nasty. I broke my back at 16 (and know how easily and quickly things can go wrong) and wouldn't wish such an accident on anyone. We all need to set things up for success and I do think that a good yard stacks the cards more in your favour compared to a paddock without that support structure.

Thank you, I appreciate your reply. We part loaned 2 lovely ponies for 6 months prior to buying our own which I thought was a very good ground to lead to buying but I'm realising maybe that wasn't enough. Weve also had lessons/hacks in riding schools, but again riding school ponies are very different!
Golly, what an awful injury you had at a young age.

 

[Dixiedoo]

OP, some great advice on here so I won't add to it. But I did want to say that you are far from the only person who has bought a first horse that has turned out not to be the easiest. I'm sure there are quite a few of us on here who have done so - I know that I did!

My (completely non-horsey) mum and I went out and bought a 15hh, feisty and unschooled Arab mare when I was 11. Like your mare, she was kind on the ground, but she turned out to be quite a handful to ride at first and I remember during the first few months I would consider our rides a success if I had managed to walk her once round the arena without her bucking. But guess what? That was 18 years ago, and we got through it. In fact, I am now 29 and she is 26, and I have just got back from giving her a kiss and a cuddle in the field, where she is now retired. So it can work out! Within six months we were starting to turn into a pretty good team, it just needed time and some experienced help.

So what I am trying to say, is if you can give her time for her back to get better and then get a good instructor, I'm sure things will work out.

Thank you for giving me some hope! You have a lovely success story! I will definitely seek professional help once she is deemed fit, I just hope we can trust her and she can be trusted!

 

[Leo Walker]

It was a good grounding The problem is you are now going it alone, completely alone and with no facilities. Some people do make that work, but its setting the odds against you. Move to a good yard, get the pony vet checked, saddle, teeth etc and then if it all checks out get an instructor to come and work with you. You really need to be 100% that there is nothing physically wrong first though

 

[Dixiedoo]

Oh I do feel for you . What should be a an excitable time for you has turned out to be a worry. Lots of good advice which I think you should take . The open space on a new pony was the mistake but you weren’t to know. Somewhere with an arena/school so you and your girls can ride safely will be your best friend. Try not to lose heart. Perhaps if we know whereabouts you are someone could recommend an instructor or someone here may come out and see you

Thank you, I do feel at a loss to know what to do. I know our safety comes first but she's only 7, I brought her from a dealer and I dont want her to be pushed from pillar to post. Im certainly going to have to get some professional help and support once she is sound.

Thank you for your reply. By the way, Im in Bournemouth, Dorset.

 

[Dixiedoo]

It was a good grounding The problem is you are now going it alone, completely alone and with no facilities. Some people do make that work, but its setting the odds against you. Move to a good yard, get the pony vet checked, saddle, teeth etc and then if it all checks out get an instructor to come and work with you. You really need to be 100% that there is nothing physically wrong first though

Thank you. I have had a saddler out and a vet on Thursday. Her teeth are all good but the vet noted significant tenderness in her back. However, I'm not sure if that was caused by the tanking off/bolting episode the previous day, or she had it previously. I guess I hope she had it previously so it explains her behaviour under saddle.
I will definitely take into account your suggestions about moving to a yard, I'll ring around a few next week.

Thankyou for your message.

 

[JFTDWS]

In your favour, OP, you have clearly got this in hand now - you've asked for advice, and taken it - you're looking into issues with teeth, saddle, back etc, and considering a new yard. That's to your credit entirely and your willingness to take advice means this is so much more likely to turn out well.

I really do think a yard with some facilities, guidance, and company for the pony could make all the difference. I'm not local so I can't say anything more helpful than well done, and good luck from here on in!

 

[Dixiedoo]

In your favour, OP, you have clearly got this in hand now - you've asked for advice, and taken it - you're looking into issues with teeth, saddle, back etc, and considering a new yard. That's to your credit entirely and your willingness to take advice means this is so much more likely to turn out well.

I really do think a yard with some facilities, guidance, and company for the pony could make all the difference. I'm not local so I can't say anything more helpful than well done, and good luck from here on in!

Thank you, I appreciate your kindness.😊. I will do anything I can to keep her and work with her to be the safe pony I want her to be! Unfortunately money is a factor though, as it is for most of us. So we shall see.
Thanks again.