Advice please ?

[Gingerwitch]

From the OP's subsequent posts!

Sorry missed that one x

 

[Leandy]

Oh how disloyal of your livery. It should be perfectly possible for her to be cordial with both you and your neighbour if she has any common sense or decency. Agree, give notice. The arrangement no longer works for you. Have a little break and then look for a new, like-minded livery. Your yard, you should feel comfortable and in charge in it. As you don't it is time to move on.

 

[ownedbyaconnie]

I’m sorry but your “friend” isn’t being much of a friend at the moment. there is no way I would list the reasons someone didn’t like them to their face! That sounds like something girls do in the playground at primary school.

its your yard so your rules, I would say sorry but you wanted someone to hack out with and it’s not working, give her her notice and find someone with some actual social skills and a kind heart like you.

 

[Pearlsacarolsinger]

maybe look at it from another angle - your neighbour is struggling with limited facilities and you move in to nice yard next door. She asks if she can use the school and maybe rent a bit of extra grazing off you, you said ‘no’. She might think, ’that’s a bit mean, but fair enough, it’s her yard’....then you offer to let her use your yard for the farrier, which doesn’t go well, and you say ‘no’ again, she’s started to think you really don’t like her. In the meantime, she’s getting to know your livery, and is enjoying a nice rant about you, and everyone is getting upset. Then CV happens, and you (quite rightly) say no hacking with other people not on the yard, but they see that as you being mean again, maybe trying to separate them.

i think you need to get rid of this livery, get a new one that you don’t try to be mates with, say ‘no’ to anyone trying to use your facilities (unless you decide you’d like to make some money by hiring it out) and if the new one wants to hack with you, if not, whatever.

Refusing to allow others to use your facilities is NOT being mean. We have 2 lots of neighbours who seem to think that we should share our land with them, why? We paid for it, it is ours to use as we see fit. Our neighbours however, have found out that we are not the pushover that this livery seems to think that OP is.

OP's mistake was allowing the neighbour's farrier to shoe her her on the yard, unfortunately that raised expectations but why should OP put herself, her animals and facilities at risk because her neighbour's horse is ill-mannered?

Stand firm, OP, get rid of the livery pdq and either advertise for another livery making it clear that hacking together is part of the deal, or as someone else suggestd buy another horse and advertise for a sharer, which will give you ultimate control over the horse's activities.

 

[Gingerwitch]

Refusing to allow others to use your facilities is NOT being mean. We have 2 lots of neighbours who seem to think that we should share our land with them, why? We paid for it, it is ours to use as we see fit. Our neighbours however, have found out that we are not the pushover that this livery seems to think that OP is.

OP's mistake was allowing the neighbour's farrier to shoe her her on the yard, unfortunately that raised expectations but why should OP put herself, her animals and facilities at risk because her neighbour's horse is ill-mannered?

Stand firm, OP, get rid of the livery pdq and either advertise for another livery making it clear that hacking together is part of the deal, or as someone else suggestd buy another horse and advertise for a sharer, which will give you ultimate control over the horse's activities.

But doesn't this entitlement exist on many levels. You have a horse box and are often approached by folk that usually ignore you until they need a lift to vets/pick up a new horse or want to go to the show. They then announce that as you don't use your box/horse/school etc they will give you the great honour of using it on x day. One cheeky did asked to borrow other half to drive box too ! You politely decline their offer and get told your a miserable stuck up snob etc and bitch about you to all and sundry. You are in the driving seat on this and I seriously cannot believe that she had the cheek to use your yard and hack with next door when lockdown was on. That tells you she doesn't value you as a friend, yard owner but even as a person. Jeez ! Appalling on every level.

 

[dorsetladette]

Just to add. I would expect my livery to stand up for me if someone was to berate me. Even if it was to say 'that's not something I have experienced while sharing/keeping my pony there'.

I have encouraged my livery to ride out with people from yards/fields along our road as I don't always have the time to ride out with her when she is available and vise versa. It's yet to happen but I'll be pleased for her when it does.