Advice - unsuitable pony

MissSBird

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I have found myself in a tricky situation.

A friend of mine for many years bought a very young pony for her daughter. Her daughter is extremely nervous, and myself and my younger sister were immediatly concerned over pony choice.

As we expected, pony is too much for the nervous daughter. Daughter will happily canter on a different calm oldie belonging to another person, but is frightened of her own pony. She has to be persuaded to ride it by an instructor, and often has panic attacks when on or when about to ride it. She mainly walks, does a little trotting and refuses point blank to canter.

My sister is petite for her age (late teens) so friend asked her to ride pony in order to keep his schooling continueing. My sister was happy enough to do this. But today the pony started bolting off whenever she asked for canter. This isn't a huge concern with my little sister; she's a competent rider and if it was her own pony we'd work through it and get over it. However she only has time to school the pony once a week as she has her own to deal with.

Our main concern is that this pony is totally wrong for the daughter; she's shattering her already low confidence and could get hurt. The pony needs a more experienced rider.

But the pony is a stunner, and the mother has county level show ambitions. The pony has placed in the top three inhand every time out this season and this has made mother very happy.

Now she wants my little sister to take pony for his first ridden class at a show next week; in return she's going to take my sister and her pony to a show she could not get to otherwise. But last time my sister rode the pony at a show (tack and turnout class) the pony was very uptight and reared a few times. I was in the same class and was getting concerned for my sisters safety; I spent more time watching her than paying attention to my own riding. This experience plus the riding today has left my sister very reluctant to ride the pony next weekend.

Sorry for the long story, and thankyou for getting this far. Basically my sister and I have no idea how to approach this one, especially since she's still at school and I'm not 20 yet and the lady is a mature woman with a child who's older than me. We don't want to make enemies of a good friend. Has anyone any advice on how to approach this situation?
 
She really shouldnt be offended if you/your sister just say no.

She bought the pony, it is her responsibility......
 
Either way you look at it the pony is dangerous & no matter what the show ambitions of the woman are they cannot be put before the safety of your sister.
It may be difficult to speak about it but you must. You must approach her on safety grounds expressing your concerns & youre sisters concerns. Your age doesn't come into it, she has to realise that unless something is done to calm down & settle the pony someone is going to get hurt. If she doesn't see this & continues with her ambitions in the showing world with little thought to your sisters safety then she isn't much of a friend.
 
Politely say no if you can as I feel you may be being used
smirk.gif
 
I would certainly say no to riding this pony! Be polite but really it's not your problem. Imagine if your sister got injured while riding it, even a relatively small thing like a broken arm can be very painful and she won't be able to ride her pony for ages. The woman is a bit cheecky to ask your sister to sort out her problems, she should hire a professional who can be paid to school the pony.
 
How about getting your mother to speak to this woman, as one mother to another? Having a big sis who worries about my safety (apparently I give her the heebie geebies when my mare is playing silly b's on the road) are you more worried than your little sis?
 
Echo the above - maybe get your mum to have a word with this woman and mention how she's not happy for her daughter to ride this pony at a show as she's worried about her safety.

I can totally sympathise with riding Mad Pony in return for transport though! No transport sucks. How about you offer the woman an alternative? : she can take Mad Pony in inhand classes and (assuming your sisters pony is sane and sensible) her daughter does somelike in lead rein or even just handy pony/fancy dress or something. That way her daughter gets to ride and your sister gets to take her pony to the show.
 
Well actually, sisters pony came from friend; was sold to us because it became too much for daughter. See the pattern?

I don't think the lady would refuse to take us; it's actually our trailer its jsut my dad who drives it is away that weekend and sister really wants to go to this particular show.

I think I'll maybe go down the mum route, i hadn't actually thought of asking her to speak to friend.

Thankyou everyone!
 
I have been in the the same situation as your friend. I brought a youngster for my very nervous daughter which I stupidly thought would make a partnership and grow together. This unfortunately didn't happen as daughter was very nervous and everytime youngster did something she would just got worst. She was quite happy getting on friends older ponies ! After a year of trying to perservere and some nasty falls I had to come to the conclusion that things weren't going to improve. My daughter would never feel confident on said pony and he was a lovely pony who needed someone to bring him on. I sold him and I would have never asked or expected anyone else to ride him if they didn't want to. I think this lady does know deep down that this pony isn't suitable for her daughter and I am sure she would respect you and your sister if you politely told her. Afterall safety is so important. Hope it works out in the end..
 
I cant make it plain enough get your sister off the pony, we had a simaliar situation when my daughter was 10 she ended up in hospital for 8 weeks, there are to many nice ponies out there so dont risk her getting injured or worse for the sake of someone else!
 
Agree with above.
Its amazing how many people will risk someone elses spine, neck and life on a pony they cannot manage. If your sister did ride and school the pony, this person would only take the ride off her as soon as her own daughter was able to ride it. Good idea to tell your mum has asked you not to ride the pony - if she does get arsy tell her to get f****d, she bought the horse .
Sorry but this type of thing really gets my back up.
 
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