Advise PLEASE!!!

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picolenicole

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I'll tell you the shorttened version.

My friend is ment to come and ride my 5 year old cob on a tuesday and thursday, but the big problem is that she never turns up, or comes on a different day to what we agreed, then I cann't ride. (Not fair on my horse to make him work twice in one day, at his age or fittness:() I am working on his fittness.

Next problem is she's one of those people that takes everything you say to heart. I.E She naggs him by kicking every step, I comented on this and she took it to heart as if I'd said you cann't ride. All I said was my trainer say's I shouldn't nag, if I want him moving forward then on every 4th step give him a touch, if he does not listen then give him a kick. (works for me and him:))

So the question is what do I do with her? Tell her she has to come on the two days agreed, or just sort him myself? I have said that YO wants her there on the days we said as they know when she's there and not. (I asked her to come in the winter as no light for me after work and she doesn't work so could come in the day)

I knew this would happen but thought I was doing her a favour as she cann't afford her own horse but wants to do her BHS.

Sorry this is the shorttened version I promise!!!!!
Chocolate cake if you read this!!:D
 
I would tell her she comes on the days you agree or not at all. Doing favours for people is great but not when they take the P! Lighter nights are coming so you don't really need her to mess you and YO around.
 
Probably a good thing that she can not afford her own horse as it sounds like she couldnt handle the responsibility of one.

Is there a reason she can not make them days? Would it be an option to change the days or is she just the unreliable sort?

Perhaps suggest to her that if she would like to ride the she is only able to do so on Tues and Thurs as like you say, not fair to ride twice. I dont know much about BHS stages but I assume she will need to be able to ride to complete part of it?

As for the nagging....I hate seeing people kick. kick, kick and it would drive me round the bend that she is undoing your hardwork for a more resposive horse.

With her being your friend, it does make these situations awkward but your horse isnt a top she borrows and never gives back! I would be a bit stronger with her, she is taking the p*ss! :(
 
She doesn't work, but her answer for not coming is she's busy???? Sorry but I feel like saying, try working full time and looking after a house, 2 horse's (YO is mother and father-in-law, I look after their 22 year old TB to pay for mine) and finding time to see HO and family!!

BHS stages you do need to ride, which I think if she did it and took King she would blame him if she didn't pass.

Yeah the nagging thing is sending me round the bend!!
 
From you last post i think she is causing you more stress that she is helping. I would tell her that she can do the 2 days agreed only, remember you are the one doing her the favour.
 
in the exam you ride 2of the exam centres horses and the last thing they want 2c is nagging legs thats why your required to carry a crop.
Your favours going to end up creating more work for you in the long run:( being dead to the leg is the last thing you and your pony want. my mare is rising 5 and shes now trots on with a kiss and sometimes small nudge, when shes trottin i leave her alone but if she slows she gets a small tap with the schooling whip so she learns to respect what i want without constant naggin this seems to be working as i very rarely need to use the crop now.
Leting someone else ride your horse is really hard because we all have ways of doing things and people do get upset very easily but why should u miss out if she cant b bothered coming on the specified days?
Im really horrible but with the light nights coming in id say im doing it myself
 
Friend or not too be honest I would not let her ride a young horse of mine. Sounds like she is going to spoil him to me

Sorry I know this is not easy as she is your friend but if someone wants to ride my horse they ride how I say or get asked to get off !! Which is why I am VERY particular who rides him
 
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