after yesterday, glad I did it

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mulledwhine

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God my heart aches, and after loosing my boy yeastersay, did not want to go any where near his field.

Unfourtunatly my daughter riding lessons are on the same ponies he shared his field with, are he school ponies, and due to the ice the lesson was at the field. Did not want to go but could not let daughter down.

Was in tears all the way, could not touch any ponies in the same way, I just could not show affection..


Later in the day, I found myself doing the fencing, and to be on my own, cold, hungry and busy, was the best medicine, I think I am still in shock as have a melt down for a second or two, but then fine again.

I am being self indugent and making no sense and apologise, but cant talk about it aloud so thank all HHO readers who canbe bothered to read this.

Thanks again xxx
 
Hi im sorry about your loss, i dont know the background but im so sorry, within the last year i lost my 2 best friends so i know where you are coming from. Nearly 12 months on I still have my burst into tears moments, its not easy and for me its not getting easier but i am starting to accept the loss of my babies. I am So sorry BIG HUGS. Hold the memories close. xxxxxxx
 
stop being so hard on yourself, you have lost one of your closest companions and if you didnt feel that way it wouldnt have meant much really would it? I am dreading the day to be honest. Accept your melt down moments as the other side of the joy you had in this relationship with a much loved animal
 
Ah poor you, non horsey people just dont understand its loosing a member of your family!

Its probaly a good thing you went down today the longer you leave it the harder it gets.

Big hugs to you and well done for been so brave. :)
 
Don't know the background, but am sure your poor boy went loved to the end. Just think of the slaughter trains across Europe! I feel so sad for you. Sleep well if you can, and remember the worst is now over.
 
Thankyou for understanding, my partner was with him when he went, and he was in tears ( even though he never liked him),

I am just hurting soo bad, and it is such a shock , i just wish I could cry

Thankyou
 
Must be a horrible time, but just think how he is not cold, and won't have to go through another snowy cold winter now. You're allowed to be self indulgent and cry, it's been no time at all and greiving is part of the healing process. You're very brave for going out there and being strong for your daughter, i bet she is so proud of her mum xx
 
Allow yourself whatever grief crying self or indulgance you wish, my family are not touchy feely but the one thing even my hard as nails dad has taught me is if you lose something even if it is a horse or dog you should mourn that loss as much as you need to, i have seen even my dad who is very matter of fact really suffer with the loss of a horse.

Even though my family are not fluffy we have been taught it is just the same to lose an animal as a family member if the love is the same this is not a disrespect but if you really have a bond for your animals they are part of your family it is only normal to miss them everyday and you will be upset at lots of things and there is no reason to aplogise.
As with all loss time will ease the pain and you will remember the good things but take your time cry when you want and it will hurt for a while yet but it will get better.
Oh and sending you best thoughts and if you need a blubber or want to indulge in your loss pm me sending you best wishes.
 
So sorry to hear you lost your fella 80( Being emotional and unready to be there isn't a weakness - it's a fact, and you don't need to feel bad, silly or any such like for being so upset. You definitely do not need to punish yourself by lone-fencing in this weather! Hopefully the joy of your daughter getting to ride has helped a little. Who knows, facing it head on so soon might be better for your grieving process in the long run x
 
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