ahhh friend my A** .. (warning massive rant)

SpottyTB

SpottyTB

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So some of you may have seen my lorry post a week or so ago, urgh well it ended on her being reasonable, not for long!

I am sorry this is gunna be quite long and it is a massive rant!

Basically, a friend (X) asked us a massive favor - to go on the lorries insurance - that was fine she could as long as she topped the lorry up with fuel and paid for her insurance..

since she's been using it, its had to have m.o.t/tax and repairs - none of which she's offered to help with. she drove 50 miles home with the side mirror hanging off (she must of knocked it against something) and could not see anything on the far side. she filled it 1/4 full when she used 3/4 of a tank!

Anyway, i asked her to take me to this fun ride on saturday as my drivers away, all was planned and was fine.

I have also been asked to take a young novice girl around a XC course a week today, all exspences paid for, and it was just me and her - as pony is young and can occasionally spin around and nap!

Somehow X got wind of this and rang us to ask what time we were going to the course (she invited herself totally, also knowing that the pony was young and would nap back to her kids). I was making a cup of tea whilst my friend dealt with the phone call, i said in the back ground that i wouldn't want her kids to go if they were going to feel left out (as i no her eldest who's 10 would) as i wouldn't be taking either of them around - as i am being paid to take the young rider out.

Basically you went behind my back, said that i had been totally rude in what i'd said and un reasonable and that she wouldn't take me to this thing on Saturday (as a favor and she's being paid!) or anything else ever again!

So i am fuming about it, considering i was not rude and i was very diplomatic about it and it was in the safest interest of the young rider i was taking and of the two children!

Was i un reasonable?

I feel like blasting off at her, i am so upset and hurt that she would even think i would act that way about her children - who i consider siblings!

sorry about the rant, if i dont write it on here, i'd say it to her face!
 
There is a very good reason why I have aways had a trailer I can tow that has no partitions so I can onyl put my horse in it and not be asked to do 'favours' for 'friends'!
 
Honestly from first to last this woman is absolutely taking advantage of you and giving nothing back.

As I said in the last post - end the arrangement now!
 
It doesn't sound like you were being unreasonable at all. From what you've written, it does however sound like she's taking the wee. Maybe tell her that as it was a paid gig, you didn't feel it would have been very professional of you to bring someone else along?
 
simple tell her asap that the lorry is creating to many issues and that you are nolonger prepared to let her use it. end of.
 
cancel the insurance, get any keys back for the lorry and tell her that you feel you are paying too much for her to have the luxury and you get nothing back out of it. if she gets all huffy about it then that's her problem. point out that tax, mot, repairs etc cost money, money that she isn't spending to even help a little. as for only putting in 1/4 tank of fuel, that's rude, she could have replaced what was used.

cancel the arrangement, it's not worth the hassle. if you cancel the insurance and she still takes the lorry then report her for theft.
 
cancel the insurance and get the keys back!!!


if someone let me use their lorry i wolud be paying half tax/mot and NOT USING THEM!....
 
I am not sure but if you are being paid ( fuel/ running costs, tax, insurance) for use of the lorry would that not be seen as running a business and you would need an operators licence. Might be worth a call to DVLA. They have become very sticky about other people loaning/driving lorries.

Personally I would ask for the keys back ASAP and remove from insurance as of today. Sounds like a real user.
 
Well deserved rant!

If you can be bothered to continue with the arrangement with this woman, in that there is a benefit to you, state exactly what you want and if she is not prepared to contribute then say no. If necessary get her to sign the list of your requirements so that you have a record and she cannot say that she didn't know what was expected of her. If there is a problem in the future and she denies any knowledge you can produce this evidence.

Having said all of this she sounds a pain, totally unreliable and not worth the effort unless there is a big benefit to you.
 
hackedoff said:
There is a very good reason why I have aways had a trailer I can tow that has no partitions so I can onyl put my horse in it and not be asked to do 'favours' for 'friends'!
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Too right.
I don't mind helping someone out with moving or collecting their horse or if there's an emergency, and if I am not using it I don't mind people borrowing the trailer as long as they bring it back how it went out, but trouble starts when it becomes expected or too regular a thing. Hope you can work it out
 
dwteam said:
I am not sure but if you are being paid ( fuel/ running costs, tax, insurance) for use of the lorry would that not be seen as running a business and you would need an operators licence. Might be worth a call to DVLA. They have become very sticky about other people loaning/driving lorries.

.
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^^^^ Yes you are very right here. This is another one of those grey areas about horse transporting, along with driver hours, using tacos ect ect that the DVLA have brought in. If someone gives you any money at all for transporting a horse that does not belong to you, you technically need an operators lisence. That is why all the favours I do are for no reward ;), even payin for fuel is seen as a reward, so you are not just doing her a favour you are risking a fine if stopped by DVLA. The only way to get around it really is if there is an agreement that you share ownership of the lorry, thats what I've done in the past, but I wouldn't advise that by the sounds of this woman. I would end the agreement.
 
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I am really sorry to say OP that you seem to be receiving nearly identical responses to this post as you did the last.

This lady is seriously taking the pee out of you and if you are that unhappy then please tell her so. She is taking advantage of your good nature and this really is not on.
 
I saw your other post but didn't comment as everyone had already said my response! But seriously, get her off your insurance! If she's going to be like that she does NOT deserve to go anywhere near you're lorry!
 
Yes, sorry its a bit repetitive of the last post!!

Just at my wits end with it all, the only reason she's taking me Saturday is because her daughter wants to go too! I cant stand to be accused of something i have not done!
Paying for her time, fuel and her daughters entry on Saturday.

To make things worse my brother is having some sort of mental break down, very depressed and tried to OD last night - or though not sure how you "try" but there we go!

Day from hell today!! .. or though, i did just get a new saddle for my girl which has cheered me up!
 
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I have a lorry it cost me alot to buy lots in upkeep i wouldnt do what you do i may give someone a lift if asked they are expensive and i cherish mine, i also have horses i would love to let people ride but nowadays it just seems people are always willing to take dvantage.

You also have the added operators license liability insurance etc it just isnt worth it it is such a shame you cant help people out or do them a favout but you just cant.
 
mcnaughty said:
I am really sorry to say OP that you seem to be receiving nearly identical responses to this post as you did the last.

This lady is seriously taking the pee out of you and if you are that unhappy then please tell her so. She is taking advantage of your good nature and this really is not on.
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Agree with this. I know you're only wanting a rant, but you're getting good advice - so take it and make your life easier! Scrap her driving you on Sat, find someone else, otherwise it will be a tense horrible journey there, which is not the ideal way to go to a comp!
 
I'm just reiterating what everyone else is saying - she is taking the utter p*** out of you. It's the classic situation of the giver (you) and the taker (her).

You would be a complete fool not to take her off the insurance and put her in her place. Stick up for yourself and stand your ground!!
 
If you aren't brave enought to confront her have you got an 'other half' who will do it for you? Please don't take this the wrong way but instead of moaning on about the way she uses you and your lorry (and is it really worth being this unhappy about it all?) just cut her out of your life. Good luck! x
 
again, sorry everyone it was just a well needed rant!

It is sorted now, my grandmother said quite bluntly today that as soon as my OH Is on the lorry insurance (this month)!it will not be available at all, unless it's an emergency.

So it's sorted! :D
 
So glad you have sorted it out, I read the other thread, gritting my teeth with frustration as its obvious you are a nice generous person that has well and truly been taken advantage of. [been there had that done too!] Totally agreed with all the responses, now bide your time and wait for your OH to go on your insurance...its still early in the season. Make haste in telling the OP exactly where to go and watch her seeth as she can no longer get out and about [unless she suckers some other poor sod !!] be aware tho she might be very spiteful in return she sounds as if she may and i sincerely hope not ...watch your back!!
 
maisieblu said:
So glad you have sorted it out, I read the other thread, gritting my teeth with frustration as its obvious you are a nice generous person that has well and truly been taken advantage of. [been there had that done too!] Totally agreed with all the responses, now bide your time and wait for your OH to go on your insurance...its still early in the season. Make haste in telling the OP exactly where to go and watch her seeth as she can no longer get out and about [unless she suckers some other poor sod !!] be aware tho she might be very spiteful in return she sounds as if she may and i sincerely hope not ...watch your back!!
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Thanks and yes I will deffinetly watch out, it's worked out well that I can keep her at an arms length from now on without falling out completely. Just looking forward to my OH going on insurance, oh how relaxed summer shows will be!!

X :)
 
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