ester
Not slacking multitasking
We've not really any idea whether it is the correct amount of hay.
AIBU
- Thread starter CMcC
- Start date
tallyho!
Following a strict mediterranean diet...
Now that would be a weird conversation
I had to read that again after seeing your post ?. RuPaul’s Nagrace anyone…?
tallyho!
Following a strict mediterranean diet...
Or how big the hay nets are… how dense the hay is… what starsign it was cut under etc…
Rowreach
Adjusting my sails
Yeah the problem with airing a horse related grievance on a horse forum is that it’s likely it will be seen by or get back to the other person, when a straightforward conversation would have sorted it out. I mean the OP did ask the aibu question, so other people are entitled to answer it.
ycbm
Einstein would be proud of my Insanity...
Well she did ask a direct question about whether she was unreasonable, in the title, and then went on to post about an annoyance with a livery who is also supposed to be a friend. I would consider that a definitively unreasonable thing to do if I was the friend.
She also describes herself as "fuming" about the addition of hay to a net in which there was clearly room for it. There was no mention of this being anything to do with what the livery pays, only about the fact it was done. Also an unreasonable level of annoyance, imo, for the situation described.
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Fruitcake
Well-Known Member
Completely agree.
And whose “correct amount of hay” are we talking about? From what I can gather, if it’s possible to fit an extra 3kg in a net, the net probably didn’t have an awful lot in to start with.
EllenJay
Well-Known Member
I have massive hay nets, I don’t fill them to the brim, its easier to half fill a massive net than completely fill a small net.
just because the livery is a friend, doesnt mean the livery can cost the OP a lot of money.
Personally, I think that hay shouldn’t be included in the cost if livery, it should be weighed and then owners will actually pay what they use.
Also, I didn’t read as an “unreasonable level of annoyance” - just a pissed off YO who was once again being taken advantage of.
ycbm
Einstein would be proud of my Insanity...
You are the only person who has mentioned money, the OP has not complained about money. ETA I have answered her question on the basis of the information she has provided. You are calling posters harsh because you are imagining other facts we have not been given. I don't think that's fair.
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fidleyspromise
Well-Known Member
Holy moly.
Mine stayed in one night a week to let hooves dry and give them a rest from bad weather if we had it.
The hay was then put out in field for them to eat through the week. No way would I turf hay out.
I've worked on yards and had livery where I've bought my own hay in so know the value of it (and straw). This yard my hay and straw was included but I treated it the same as if I bought it separately ?
Rowreach
Adjusting my sails
And from what I can gather from the OP, it only happened twice
motherof2beasts!
Well-Known Member
Yes I’m afraid you are being unreasonable, you don’t own the horse. Most people would have just solved this a conversation at the time and then figured out any cost increase that might be required. I would not want my horse in without adlib hay.
Red-1
I used to be decisive, now I'm not so sure...
As far as the AIBU goes, I wouldn't care. For all I know, the livery just wanted to treat the horse 'for Christmas' or because it was cold. I'm not saying that hay is not expensive or doesn't need paying for, what I find unreasonable is the amount of upset it has caused when a simple observation and conversation could have fixed it.
I had my horses at a competition yard a few times for training. Theirs were on weighed little portions of haylage, mine were on ad-lib. We agreed the dosage and charge, plus the charge for extra bedding for the extra throughput of poo. No hassle. They didn't like the amount I gave my horses, I didn't like their portions. No hassle, live and let live, respect each other's point of view. Safe to say, they didn't need to vent about it!
I also agree that grievances on a forum about a horsey person is likely to come back to the person. I don't know many IRL on here, but once found a recommendation for me as a trainer, from a person I didn't realise was on here. Small world, the horse one. Good job they were saying nice things LOL.
Barton Bounty
Just simply loving life with Orbi 🥰
If I thought a FRIEND went onto an open forum to chastise me for using extra hay. She wouldn’t be a friend for much longer. If 3kg extra could be out in after the OP said then ‘Has the horse been getting less hay all along?’
The livery is probably under the impression the haynets are getting filled! And to be honest, if I was the livery, I would not be happy if I was paying for full livery and scrimping on hay ?
The livery is probably under the impression the haynets are getting filled! And to be honest, if I was the livery, I would not be happy if I was paying for full livery and scrimping on hay ?
wiglet
Well-Known Member
OP, your livery obviously thinks her horse needs more hay. I imagine she feels you’ll be unapproachable about the situation so, she’s put the hay in secretly and without mentioning it. I’ve no idea if the horse has enough hay or not but, she’s a paying client so either give the horse more or have a calm and constructive conversation about the way forward.
Im in a similar situation - I’m on full livery - just had a 23% price hike and the yard is now trying to skimp on hay. I’ve raised my concerns to the YM but, she got really defensive about it. I won’t offer to pay more because of the price hike so I’ve resorted to covertly putting extra hay in my horses stable when her back is turned. The search is now on for diy livery, I am so done with full livery.
Im in a similar situation - I’m on full livery - just had a 23% price hike and the yard is now trying to skimp on hay. I’ve raised my concerns to the YM but, she got really defensive about it. I won’t offer to pay more because of the price hike so I’ve resorted to covertly putting extra hay in my horses stable when her back is turned. The search is now on for diy livery, I am so done with full livery.
little_critter
Well-Known Member
Talk to her. I’d guess she’s concerned her horse is standing without hay for too long.
If you both agree the horse is a good doer and doesn’t actually need the volume of hay, would there be an option of you popping in a late night net? So the horse gets the same quantity of hay but it less likely to run out before morning.
If you both agree the horse is a good doer and doesn’t actually need the volume of hay, would there be an option of you popping in a late night net? So the horse gets the same quantity of hay but it less likely to run out before morning.
Barton Bounty
Just simply loving life with Orbi 🥰
Its a terrible state of affairs if you have to do that ?
Glitter's fun
Well-Known Member
Maybe it wasn't motivated by the owner in a planned & rational way? Maybe she isn't critical of your feeding regime?
There are two native fillies on the crofts here, down from the hill to keep away from the stallion & for gentling. They don't normally get fed but last night I met the owner giving them a bit of feed because she felt guilty over Christmas being by her fire with the family while they were outside. We both know they're tough and well looked after but a bit of nurturing made her feel better. We laughed about it.
Maybe your friend wants to feel she is caring for him too? Maybe she would like to go to part-DIY? Maybe she'd like to pay more for what you think is too much hay?
Lots of maybes that need talking about. Two people not meeting but irritatedly changing each other's housekeeping sounds like a very unhealthy marriage!
There are two native fillies on the crofts here, down from the hill to keep away from the stallion & for gentling. They don't normally get fed but last night I met the owner giving them a bit of feed because she felt guilty over Christmas being by her fire with the family while they were outside. We both know they're tough and well looked after but a bit of nurturing made her feel better. We laughed about it.
Maybe your friend wants to feel she is caring for him too? Maybe she would like to go to part-DIY? Maybe she'd like to pay more for what you think is too much hay?
Lots of maybes that need talking about. Two people not meeting but irritatedly changing each other's housekeeping sounds like a very unhealthy marriage!
ester
Not slacking multitasking
Oh yes, that was in direct response to the poster saying the horse was having the correct amount of hay, we've no idea!
Soap On A Rope
Well-Known Member
No wonder your livery feels she can't discuss the issue with you. if this is how you react .
chaps89
Well-Known Member
I am slightly surprised by some of these answers - in my, admittedly fairly limited, experience of full livery, I’ve only ever come across the yard deciding what feed/hay is given for a horse.
Owners might have input particularly on feed, or they might raise a query - horse is losing weight can he have more hay please, which would then be accommodated but general portions are set by the yard for the horse they deal with daily.
So I don’t know why the OP is getting grief for being in charge of making nets up.
The reaction though to the owner topping up does seem extreme. If the owner is topping up surely it’s just a conversation to understand why and deal with it from there?!
Owners might have input particularly on feed, or they might raise a query - horse is losing weight can he have more hay please, which would then be accommodated but general portions are set by the yard for the horse they deal with daily.
So I don’t know why the OP is getting grief for being in charge of making nets up.
The reaction though to the owner topping up does seem extreme. If the owner is topping up surely it’s just a conversation to understand why and deal with it from there?!
rabatsa
Confuddled
I have been on holiday at a full livery yard. I thought that they were being a bit miserly with the hay but found out that they put nets out 5x day, with the last being at 10.30pm. Each net was a weighed amount for that animal. If I had not been staying on the yard myself I would have been a bit unhappy with the 6pm net amount thinking that it had to do all night.
Ample Prosecco
Still wittering on
At an old yard on full livery I popped in one evening and saw my horses nets were pretty small so I topped them up. I don’t like them standing by in for hours with nothing. The idea that this would cause the YO to ‘fume’ and that she would believe I had ‘no right’ to do that strikes me as ridiculous
And if she had actually removed the extra hay, I’d have given notice instantly. That level of control freakery would be totally unacceptable to me.
As it was I spoke to her about wanting bigger nets, she respectfully said she did not think they needed them, I said I liked ad-lib hay hay for preventing ulcers. She understood my perspective and we agreed on that. I also offered to pay more to ensure they were fed ad-lib.
So yes in my view you are being unreasonable. Unless your contracts specifically state you ration hay according to your judgement on an appropriate amount and any additional needs to be paid for in advance - so the anger is that she was ‘stealing’ hay from you rather than texting she was taking more and asking for it to go on her tab. But as you haven’t said that I assume it wasn’t that.
And if she had actually removed the extra hay, I’d have given notice instantly. That level of control freakery would be totally unacceptable to me.
As it was I spoke to her about wanting bigger nets, she respectfully said she did not think they needed them, I said I liked ad-lib hay hay for preventing ulcers. She understood my perspective and we agreed on that. I also offered to pay more to ensure they were fed ad-lib.
So yes in my view you are being unreasonable. Unless your contracts specifically state you ration hay according to your judgement on an appropriate amount and any additional needs to be paid for in advance - so the anger is that she was ‘stealing’ hay from you rather than texting she was taking more and asking for it to go on her tab. But as you haven’t said that I assume it wasn’t that.
little_critter
Well-Known Member
I think it’s the response that people are most put out by. OP says she was fuming and needs to vent, which seem rather strong feelings for the situation.
This just needs a friendly chat…”hey friend, I’ve noticed you’ve topped up Dobbin’s hay a couple of times recently. Can I ask why you feel he needs more than I’m giving him?” (Others could probably word that better than me)
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exracehorse
Well-Known Member
No one would restrict the amount I feed my horses. I over fill. So always some left in the morning. They come in at 4pm. And out at 8am. So it’s a long time standing in. As it’s full livery. I would expect the price to include ab lib hay.