Alternative show report *hoax*

[cobmum]

You didnt mention eye lash extensions for your horse?? i have to be honest without you didnt have a chance!! I also find popping a rose between your horses teeth and having it pass to judge will always ensure a higher score

 

[black_horse]

I tried the rose trick, but i dont have any roses and have hayfever. So i subsituted the rose for some hay. But the bloody animal ate the sodding hay

 

[Moomin1]

I tried the rose trick, but i dont have any roses and have hayfever. So i subsituted the rose for some hay. But the bloody animal ate the sodding hay

I find that ragwort works to prevent this. It can sometimes have the adverse effect of your horse keeling over eventually but it's so worth it to get those reds!!

 

[I*HM]

You did ALL that and still only got a tiny score? I can see why you are outraged? In light of the gravity of this situation, I would suggest you do all in your power to remove her title as "judge", this imposter clearly has no respect for the real art of dressage riding nor the class in which you bring to the sport!

 

[black_horse]

Its ok, ive started a hate campaing on here, facebook, twitter, myspace, google+ etc etc. Soon that judge will learn the errors of her ways

 

[Asha]

I find that ragwort works to prevent this. It can sometimes have the adverse effect of your horse keeling over eventually but it's so worth it to get those reds!!

OMG - i nearly spat out my wine laughing, dont do that its very nice wine

 

[black_horse]

Ive tried ragwort on my other horse, the vet said he had a belly ache from it so i gave him gaviscon

 

[D66]

But was he any good at dressage?

 

[Auslander]

Tbh, I notice a big issue here- you haven't mentioned any efforts to pull her head in to her chest and flex it 90 degrees left and right during your warm up whilst inbetween her nose is touching her two front legs. amaetur...

Nose touching the front legs is so last year...if you put the 3rd curb rein )only found on proper dressage bridles) between the front legs and hook it round the hinds, you can get the nose on the girth.You need extra long spurs to maintain forwardness - electrified ones particularly effective, as long you can find somewhere to discreetly store the battery pack...

You didn't mention fake tan BH, or Swarovski encrusted eyelashes... You won't get decent marks if your horse isn't correctly turned out.

 

[black_horse]

But im allergic to fake tan

Digger - i dont know, he keeled over going down the centre line. In fact he is still there (buried) as too expensive to take him away

 

[Auslander]

But im allergic to fake tan

Digger - i dont know, he keeled over going down the centre line. In fact he is still there (buried) as too expensive to take him away

Not on you - you silly girl. Its the horse they are interested in! Honestly...

 

[black_horse]

Not on you - you silly girl. Its the horse they are interested in! Honestly...

OI! Go take your insults and nipple eyes elsewhere!!

 

[albeg]

Can't quote, but she may be as skinny as the rails, but she's not the same colour or style!! They're just as important!

 

[black_horse]

I better sell my horse then,

FOR SALE, 12.2hh grey hanovarian mare. Woking GP at home, competing Grand Prix Prelim gaining scores of 88% plus. 10 years old, easy to do in all ways, not novice ride, no vices. Known to cribbite and rear.

POA - even then you might cry at the cost.

 

[Littlelegs]

You've forgotten 'hunted by novice 10 year old.' Always convinces a buyer. And snaffle mouthed. Consider change of colour/height for right home.

 

[Cinnamontoast]

*Like*

 

[albeg]

BH, I'll give you 20 quid for her, that's how much horses cost right? But only if you have her in brown, otherwise she won't match my stable doors.