Am I being harsh??

Cop-Pop

Cop-Pop

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A friend of mine bought a native type pony from some sales six years ago as a yearling. When he was two he went down with laminitus but recovered. Since then he has been getting it worse and worse and for the past year he's been stabled permanently with no turn out just walking in hand. N has paid truckloads of money to try and get him sound but he's keeps getting worse.

He's gone from a sweet pony u could stick a small child on bareback and happily wander round to a very unhappy pony that bites and attacks people. He's on 4 sachets of bute a day.

I've just spent an hour on the phone to her (she rang me) as her vet has given her two weeks to decide whether to have him pts or get a new vet as this one feels it's turning into a welfare issue. I personally want her to have him pts as he's isn't happy and can no longer live like a horse. On the other hnd N is battling with depression, her husband walked out last year so she had to sell her home, her daughter has cancer and her Mum has early on set dementia so she is really having a hard time at the mo. I tried to tell her that if the pony can't be a horse and won't be able to be one for the rest of his life it isn't fair to keep him going but she can't see it
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She's now saying I'm siding with the vet as we used to date and doesn't want to talk me to again. I know she doesn't really mean it as she is v upset but I'm worried she can't see how bad her pony really is
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Jesus.
You're right, she's had an awful time of it... but i'm afraid this isn't "turning into" a welfare issue. It IS a welfare issue.

4 sachets of bute a day, and still in pain? Had laminitis for a year and it has not improved?
My mare got laminitis and it was touch and go for 2 months whether or not she'd survive... a year is far too long IMO.
The pain she was in was evident but thankfully she recovered.
Our other horse did not, and he was put down after he recovered to an extent and then relapsed despite constant box rest and limited food intake. He foundered.

I personally, and this is just me, would feel it was my duty as a horse lover to ensure this pony was PTS asap. A year of laminitis doesen't bear thinking about IMO. I've seen first hand how awful it is and a the decision has to be made to be PTS if not by her, then by someone in the mindset to do so.
 
Oh dear. She's not having a good time of it, is she.

You and the vet are clearly seeing sense though, and the pony shouldn't have to suffer just because she is in a bad place.
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I guess it's one of those times where you need to be really diplomatic - and i'm not very good at that!
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Good luck!
 
No your not being harsh, from what you have said there is no viable option, other than to put this poor pont to sleep. I appreciate your friend is having a really bad time of it, but surely the constant worry regarding this pony will only be adding to her stress/depression (even if see can't see that).
 
Well have justed called the vet - not easy as he's my ex and his new girlfriend answered the phone (oops). He's getting the practice owner/manager to go and speak to N tomorrow with his wife who works as a councillor in a school so they might be able to help her.
 
Fingers crossed, I think she's going to need a friend more than ever, so leave your door open, even if she pushes you away for the time being.
 
How sad...
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Your poor friend sounds like she's having an awful time, but prolonging the poor pony's pain isn't going to help anyone. A friend of mine had her horse PTS at Christmas after 7 months on BR with laminitis and I thought that was far too long tbh
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She needs to let go - but it is a difficult situation - Good luck!
 
Depression or no - it doesn't mean that she can't do what is best for the pony. It's in a frightful situation.

Should have been put down months ago................

Having said that, by the sounds of it the decision will be taken out of her hands shortly, which is just as well. But for every day that she refuses to make a decision she allows this pony to suffer even more.

It's quite sickening.
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In some cases of depression it is extreamy hard to make a decision especially one as heart rendering as this. Yes the pony should be PTS and it should have been done a while ago, but put your self in her shoes. Her daughter is sick as well as her Mum, she obviously feels she is slowing losing everything and is not able to make a rational decision about the pony out of fear of having one less thing in the world that she loves.
However im sure she will make the right choice sooner rather than later with the help of a very good friend that you abviously are Zalacca.
 
What a sad situation.
You're not being harsh - you have to do what you think is best for the pony and ultimately for your friend. Don't give up talking to her and reassure her that you are her friend. She was probably counting on you agree with her on this which obviously you can't do. Maybe suggests she gets a second opinion from another vet - it might at least put her mind at ease that having the pony PTS is the right thing to do.
Looking after such a poorly pony must only add to her stresses as she must know he's in pain and unhappy. Hopefully she'll see that when he's gone.

Good luck
 
Sorry I don't agree. I have plenty of experience with mental health issues. Having depression does not mean you negate your responsibilities to other issues going on in your life...........

This lady is absolutely going through a most horrid time. But she can still make decisions.
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I have to disagree AmyMay - it depends on the individual. Some people with depression struggle to find the energy to decide what to wear, let alone deal with all the things this poor lady is dealing with. It absolutely can, and does, affect people's judgement. Stress (and lets face it this lady has plenty) also affects the way we deal with things.
Its a tricky situation because of course the pony shouldn't be suffering. I'm sure between the OP and her vet they will do their best to support her making the right decision.
 
I have to agree with Boodle, notwithstanding the unhappiness the owner feels, the pony should not suffer, he almost seems to be a outward expression of the owners mental pain! No solutions however, not sure even the RSPCA/ILPH would/could so anything to get some closure.
 
I think she probably feels that the horse is all she has left and although she'll be devasted to have him PTS, in the long term it would obviously cause her far less stress as having such an unhappy horse must be awful.

I have to agree that if its on 4 sachets of bute a day and clearly the vet believes he should be PTS then thats the way to go. If she wont talk to you on the phone anymore, how about you write her a really heartfelt letter? It might hit the right cord better than a phone call as she can really sit down and think it through.
 
Well 'head' vet and his wife visited today - N has agreed to come to a decision by Friday. She contacted the people that cremated her last pony this afternoon so I think she'll be going thru with it soon
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On the plus side her mum recognised her his evening when we visited her so that's gone a long way to making her feel better.
 
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