Am I being too sensitive??........................ long rant sorry!

lochpearl

lochpearl

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I moved my horse onto a DIY yard about 2 months ago, he was being mistreated at previous full livery. I then bought another horse 3 weeks ago as older one has serious back issues and waiting to take to Rossdales. Now YO is a farmer, has absolutely no idea about horses but seems to think he does, normally we are all left to fend for ourselves as he only pops down once a day - mainly to sl@g off other liveries. Now I have been very accomodating to him, listened but never responded as tbh I don't agree with anything he says and don't want to get into an argument - in fact it is safe to say I do try and avoid him at all costs! His son is full of really good ideas but then gets scared to say them to his father so he tells him that we have made comments, again I have had to put him straight on this. Here is the issue, there are loads of ponies up the yard with kids that like to wiz round the school and jump, this is leaving the school very unlevel, as they have a silica sand base then rubber shredded on the top I asked the son if the school could be harrowed - it wasn't 'can you harrow the school' it was is it a possibility as I have never been on a yard with that type of surface so didn't know if it could be done. He the replied that he was going to get all the liveries to spend an hour in there to sort the surface out as he and his dad didn't use it so why should they sort it. I did mention that I didn't think the others would be up for it and really as it is part of the livery that we have the school it should be maintained correctly. I wasn't being rude, but my new boy is tripping quite a bit in there and also many of the others have been too. Then last night I was told very agressively (sp) buy the YO that he understood I had been complaining about the school and that I wanted it harrowed, I tried to explain what I said and he started Fing and blinding at me, I explained calmly that I just wanted to know what could be done in there and he said that I had told his son that it was dangerous in there and if I did not to Fing use it, he didn't want me falling off and then sueing him for it. I was so shocked that I laughed it off and said of course I wasn't going to sue him and that I had not said that, he then said his son didn't lie - no but he does smoke down the yard and his dad doesn't know he smokes - plus it is a non-smoking yard!
So anyway the YO apparently is well known for kicking people off the yard (then says he can't understand why he isn't full) and getting very aggressive - something I didn't know before I got there, the school is only going to get worse and not sure if I can take him being so rude. The problem I have is that I have 2 horses now and liveries are like gold dust where I am so do I just put up and allow him to speak to me like that or do I try and find somewhere else even if I have to split the horses up and also leave my best mate behind??

I know it's early but glass of champers and some strawberries for getting this far!!
 
Sounds like my old yard, i chose to get out and keep my horse sound and not be constantly abused!
Good luck
 
I would smile sweetly, put up & shut up for now... but in the meantime start looking for somewhere suitable and get my name downon all the yard waiting lists I can. Horses are meant to be a pleasure, you shouldnt have to put up with a YO like that.
 
Move. It doesn't matter how cheap a yard is or how good the facilities are, if its run by a to**er you'll be miserable there. A basic yard with a friendly, accommodating, horsey YO/YM will be much nicer for you and your horses in the long run.
 
i would move them quick. i was on a yard once where my horse was hit!!. i moved them in the middle of the night i could never let YO know i was going as i saw her abuse others horses. why should you pay your livery bill to be unhappy its meant to be nice spending time with your horse. if he is swearing at you thats not good
 
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You aren't being too senstitive, but if its otherwise a good yard then I'd rap up and keep my head down if I were you.

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You're supposed to enjoy your horses - I'd never be able to put up with someone Fing and blinding at me - how awful!
shocked.gif
I wouldn't care if it was the best yard in the country, I'd rather be in a field on my own than on a yard where I had to 'keep my head down' in case some horrible agressive lunatic decided to start swearing and shouting at me! Ugh!
 
It seems like you are caught between the devil and the hard rock. If sounds like you could do with an informal yard manager who sorts out the people and is the one contact point to speak directly to the farmer.

It depends on how much you like the yard and if there is anywhere else to go. I am sorry to hear things are not working, are there other unhappy people and if so weight of numbers asking for changes may help.
 
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I would smile sweetly, put up & shut up for now... but in the meantime start looking for somewhere suitable and get my name downon all the yard waiting lists I can. Horses are meant to be a pleasure, you shouldnt have to put up with a YO like that.

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This sounds like sensible advice. No point getting into a big confrontation - this chap sounds dangerous! - but try to move as soon as you can!
 
thanks guys, you always manage to chear me up. Problem is that I dohave a very short fuse so trying to stop myself going off at him has backlashed and made me really upset about the whole situation, I don't really want to go down there at the moment, but I have to and my new horse is only 5 and a promising Dressage horse so he needs the work, on a good surface. I will definitely be looking now for somewhere else but as I said there are no yards close and normally if one comes up it is only usually one place and we would need 2, perhaps 3 if my friend came! I'm in South Cambs, on the edge of Essex near Saffron Walden and near the A505 to Royston but obviously need them as close to home as possible.
 
Ooohhh NOOO!!! Poor you, its like one step forward and two backwards all the time!

If there is a harrow available, can you not suggest that each livery has a day in which they are to harrow the arena (a rota)? This way everyone can help out to ensure the surface is looked after?

I was one at a yard in which you had to harrow each time you rode on the surface!! It was absolutly rediclous (sp!) as i worked full time and had two to ride each evening, the tractor was kept in a barn with no lighting and the harrow across the farm, by the time i had ridden and hooked it all up, harrowed and finished up it was nearly 9pm! (this meant i was up a yard which was down a dark country lane all by myself!)

I used to hate it! I remember one night I walked my girl round the arena in hand just to have a stretch of legs and recieved a note on the blackboard, reminding me to level the school!! (there must have been about 50 shallow hoof prints in there!!) The surface was totally cr@p anyway!!

id suggest a rota to the farmer and try and make him see that you want to look after his arena as you know how much they cost to build and that you are worried that the surface wont last with others charging round it all the time...

Good luck anyhow!! x
 
thanks Bec, problem is that you cannot harrow the surface as it will just build up all the rubber at one end, he also does not like 'suggestions' and that is normally why people are kicked off. I was promised a lunge pit rather than the un even grass area we are allowed to lunge on which has harrows and machinery around it so if the horse got free it would mangle itself! Again as you know our mutual friend is leaving this weekend after her horse having accidents with the fencing and the last vets bill being £120, I guess I'm lucky that my boys don't throw legs at the fencing otherwise I would have that problem too!
New boy is going so well at the moment and I can deal with the unlevel school but to be spoken to like that..............

filly190 - he wont pay for anyone down there, it's not ideal as we have to pay a freelance groom to come and do out horses if we cannot, there is also no-one on site as there is no house so again another reason to move - why oh why can't I win the lottery!!!
 
oohh i didnt know about the accidents! is she able to go back to the same place she had her before?? (and would there not be space for you there??!)

Blimey it sounds a tad manic down there, not the sort of place you actually want to pay to keep your boys at! x
 
No she is moving to Quendon on Sat, they are full and I don't think I would want to go back there until they sorted school etc out.
 
Not posted very much on here am pretty new to all of this but my god does your situation remind me of a what I put up with for years (up until Oct last year)

When I eventually moved it was like breath of fresh air....

I used to go home from the yard 2-3 x a week in tears because of YO (a farmer, thought he new everything about horses - knows nothing). Could never do right for doing wrong and he always expected us to try and level a school by hand....again always shouting about us sueing him if we had an accident in there.

Get the hell out of there....sounds like your life with your horses isn;t going to be a lot of fun there

After years of putting up with it me and my two best friends left and everyone else followed. Now he has no liveries! Serves him right.

Why do some YO's think they are doing you a favour and do not think of you as a paying customer!!!

Good I love where I am now.... if I had known how different it would be I would have moved years ago....
 
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You aren't being too senstitive, but if its otherwise a good yard then I'd rap up and keep my head down if I were you.

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You're supposed to enjoy your horses - I'd never be able to put up with someone Fing and blinding at me - how awful!
shocked.gif
I wouldn't care if it was the best yard in the country, I'd rather be in a field on my own than on a yard where I had to 'keep my head down' in case some horrible agressive lunatic decided to start swearing and shouting at me! Ugh!

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Obviously if the OP couldn't put up with it she wouldnt have posted the question,so based on the fact she wants opinions, there's mine
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Why not organise a school clearing day?

The kids would probably find it quite fun - and appreciate it when it's done.

All you need is some buckets and wheelbarrows for the droppings, and some forks to level it.

I do ours by hand, as we don't have a leveller - and it doesnt' take that long if done regularly.
 
I know it doesn't help re the yard owner but...

At our yard the areana is harrowed 3 x a week on a rota basis and takes 10mins if that. We have Silica and rubber combo, ocassionaly we take a rake to the long sides if the rubber build up but this is rarely required.

Hope you can sort if out
 
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I would smile sweetly, put up & shut up for now... but in the meantime start looking for somewhere suitable and get my name downon all the yard waiting lists I can. Horses are meant to be a pleasure, you shouldnt have to put up with a YO like that.

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DITTO
 
How awful! I would be deeply upset if a YO shouted at me like that. I would keep a low profile at the moment and keep your eye open for a new yard. If you tell yourself that you are only there temporarily then it might make you feel better. Good luck in finding somewhere more hospitable.
 
Trust me AmyMay, the kids would not do it, they are snotty nosed rich kids that have no horse sense, feed huge feeds before they have an hours lesson ........ need I go on. Droppings are removed after riding, we have to use gloves so we get every little bit up, without taking any rubber out. As I said he is anal and would probably feel I was taking over if I asked everyone to get involved - kids would moan to parents and parents would moan to YO. I think I will just have to go round all the local places - 2 in total and put my name down to move!! Totally agree though that it wouldn't take long if we all mucked in but I don't have that luxury!
 
advertise to rent some stables/and or land, its really not worth all this livery rubbish. TIme and time again I hear about people being at really appalling yards AND paying through the nose for it. There is land available if you look hard enough.

Its peaceful, you can do your own thing, yes its hard work but the rewards outweight the pain!!

So much cheaper in the long run too.
 
i would keep quite for now and hastily plan to move a.s.a.p,i'd be searching straight away for a new yard if i was you,at the end of the day he is offering a service,i am also at a 'farm' type place with v.good facilities but again they are a farming family that really arn't sure about the needs of horses.i would also ? whether or not he is regisitered as a business as the taxman would love to get his hands on him otherwise,all that cash coming in,if he really pi*sed me off i would be straight on the phone getting him reported.I would never take swearing from someone your paying good money to,who does he think he is?
 
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