Am I doing the owner any favours?

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Echo24

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I recently started sharing a horse who I absolutely love riding, but I feel like I’m not really helping out the owner. She’s always at the yard whenever I go up there to ride, as the horse can be quite bargy, (I'm a novice and he won’t stand for me when I get on and can be fussy when being tacked up). I don’t help out with stable duties as she turns out in the morning and her dad comes up to bring the horses in and he usually mucks out and feeds. While I go out for hacks at the weekends with her, if I come up to ride after work during the week she has to come up the yard to help me and the horse is usually all tacked up ready for me to ride! I feel really bad as she has two young boys and I feel like I’m putting her out when she has to come up the yard to ‘supervise’ me. She advertised her horse for someone looking to have fun with and do local shows and I know she has someone else sharing her horse as well. I only pay £20 a week for as much riding as I like (at the moment it’s only once a week due to work) but I don’t do stable duties either because I live so far and they didn’t feel I should do them as well, (despite the fact they were looking for someone to help out with stable duties too). If you were the owner, would you be putting up with me until I find something else? I sometimes get the impression she’s too polite to say it’s not working out and is just being patient with me! Any views would be appreciated as I don't want to be wasting her time.
 
If she's anything like me she'll just be glad he is getting exercised as I can do all the jobs with my son with me, but I won't ride when he's with me in case god forbid anything happened to me and he was left without someone he really knows to look after him. I'm sure if she really wasn't happy she would tell you as she is putting in effort she is obviously happy with the situation :)
 
I really wouldnt be tough on yourself. Many horse owners are very clingy and find it hard to let go and NOT be around when someone is riding their horse. In addition you are paying (which is a definite bonus - I have a girl who rings me on sunny days asking to ride my horse who doesnt need extra riding and never offers to pay, or help or buy the odd bag of food, even when I have hinted!). People normally have a system so it is almost easier to do the jobs themself than ask someone else and besides her father sounds as though he helps her a lot. All you can do is ask her if she is happy and whether she would like any extra help. Provided you are reliable and she knows you are good with her horse I am sure she will be happy. If you buy the odd bag of carrots or food she will be even happier I am sure! x
 
Some people like doing things their way...i know when my OH offers to help muck out i often have to go round the stable doing it again. It's not that i don't appreciate it, i just like things done a certain way and i often find it quicker to do it myself then ask someone else to do it.
I'm sure she would say something or you would pick up vibes from her if you were a burden rather than a help.
Perhaps just ask her if she feels the arrangement is working and if there is anything you could help with while you were there?
Maybe a bit of tack cleaning or haynet filling would help her out?
Maybe she just appreciates the financial contribution and the fact her horse is being exercised?
It's a hard decision for most horse owners to share their horses and i know finding a trust worthy person is worth allot more than someone who can do everything but isn't reliable.
 
Sometimes a novice who is willing to listen and do things your way is better than an experienced rider that wants to do their own thing. Investing time in you at the start and showing you exactly how everything should be done might mean that the owner will have a gem of a sharer in six months time!

There are plenty of big jobs at the stables that don't require specialist knowledge, and can be a real pain to fit in if you are busy. Giving the whole yard a thorough sweep, scrubbing out the stable walls and floor, pooh picking...things that maybe only need doing every so often. If you offer to do something like that now and then as a 'thank you' then I'm sure she'd be pleased. I'd probably have given you my horse a few years ago if you'd offered to paint my stable for me...world's worst job and it came round too quickly every year...

Or maybe offer a skill you are good at in return? A friend of mine rode my horse a few times years ago - and one day in exchange she came up and took loads of lovely photos of him and gave me a framed one. I hadn't expected anything in return but actually it meant a lot.
 
I have had a couple of novices share some of my horses. I don't charge them anything and I don't mind teaching them how to tack up and help them learn. After a month or so they are usually good enough to tack up themselves so they can do most of it alone after that, but I do like to be around in the beginning stages. OP the owner may just be similar to me in that she gets enjoyment from seeing someone learning about horses and getting pleasure from them? I think she is maybe just being there for you in the early days and may leave you to it once she's satisfied that you are safe. If you are worried about it then why not mention it to her?
 
Thanks for the replies! I didn't know if I might be being a bit paranoid as I feel like a bit of a pain having to have the owner there whenever I go riding, especially as I'm sure she'd rather be at home with her kids! I love the horse and although it's a little far, I think it's a small price to pay for such a lovely horse to ride! I did muck out one time when her dad was there to watch me but in the end he redid my stable as I don't think they were neat enough! :P I will ask her next time I see her to see if she feels like the arrangement is working out and if she would like me to come up and poo pick the field or clean tack, (which I quite enjoy doing, although once I've taken a bridle apart I may not be able to put it back together!) Hopefully she feels it's working out well :)
 
You sound like you are willing to learn so you wont stay novice for long. Give your self time and I'm sure you will be more than capable of doing most things on your own. Ask her if you are unsure but by the sounds of it she enjoys helping you enjoy her horse and if she wasnt there who would you learn from? It sounds like you have a great arrangment and a good owner who is willing to help :)
 
You sound ideal for me! You're the kind of person I want to share one of mine. I just cannot let people do whatever they want without supervision. Every time I get people who just want to go off and jump and ride and I put so much work into my horses and they're schooled in such a particular way that I just can't let them. Its nice to know there are people out there who are willing to accept the owner's supervision/help.
 
I had a sharer that only rode i did everything else including tacking up/untacking, it was ok for a while but then i realised what she was paying to share wasn't enough to cover my petrol costs and livery etc so she had to go. if your owner hasn't said anything then don't worry about it but if she does then try to come up with a solution.
 
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