Am I doing the right thing selling my kids pony?

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Perfectpony07

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I’m really just looking for somewhere to vent and for some advice.
We’ve had our kids Pony for nearly 2 years he’s so lovely and very tolerant of my children he is such a good boy and a pony that is genuinely one in a million. I think this is what is ultimately making this decision so difficult for me. We’ve taken a deposit for him he’s due to go in a weeks time. He has ended up staying with us a lot longer than expected due to different reasons with the buyer, this is making it even more difficult for me.
I’ve been crying a lot as I’m not sure if I’m making the right choice.
A bit of a background my kids are 5&7, they were complete novices. I’ve taught them to ride, my older daughter who was now 7 is able to walk and trot, and has had a couple goes at cantering now. She’s still on the lead rein. Realistically they are riding every three or four weeks over the winter, mainly because of it being cold & trying to fit it in around Work and kids activities after school, and sometimes they just genuinely just don’t want to go but when they do go they absolutely love it and they ride really well, however they’re not bothered in generally seeing him between that, it’s costing me too much money for him to be sat in a field looking pretty hence the decision to sell him. since then my kids have rode a few times and so has my friends children and it’s just made it really difficult because he’s just such a good boy, hence him hanging around killing me.
He is sold to a lovely family, Who I think we utilise him a lot more than we are. My plan was to strip it back to a riding School, but the reality is, will a riding School allow us to ride twice a month - because ultimately that’s what I can afford for two children with the cost of riding lessons. The problem is, I cannot afford for them to have a pony and have lessons on him too. I’ve also got another Horse who is a youngster that they can spend time with brushing and things, but they won’t be able to sit on her for a long time though, maybe walking around that would be all.
Ultimately, we don’t have our own Land and we are paying Livery prices so it’s costing me £460 a month just for Delivery for two horses we are DIY , he lives in in winter and it’s me doing all the graft which I get. My kids are young but they are not even wanting to come and do any of it really. There is a possibility the farmer may allow me to have him on grass Livery which is cheaper but I can’t guarantee he will allow this in the winter. We have tried to share a route but it’s difficult to find reliable good people or people that will contribute.
I don’t really know the point of this post. I guess I’m trying to get an idea of what’s normal when you have a Pony with children of this age and if I’m expecting too much from them, or if what I’m doing is the right thing, given their level of commitment and interest.
 
I don't think any child should have a pony unless they really want one. I also think that kids should learn that they have to work for their privileges. It doesn't sound like yours do, so I'd say you are doing the right thing. I certainly wouldn't be paying livery for a pony that is only used once or twice a month. Grass livery would be my limit in that case. A lesson once or twice a month, if that's what they want to do, sounds much more reasonable.
 
I tend to agree that if they don’t love either the pony or riding enough to put in some hours then the pony isn’t worth keeping. That said, you’ve done the hard work of winter and maybe summer would give them some more enthusiasm as well as being a bit cheaper at least on hay. Even if you were to decide to sell in autumn, seems a shame to miss out on a nice summer of riding - if they still aren’t keen then you know the answer.

They’re pretty young and I also cut mine some slack at that age, I increased my expectations as they got older (and eventually sold my sons horse when he lost interest at about 14).

Would you consider a sharer? Another factor is that your pony sounds fabulous and hard to find again later if you wanted to.

Just one last point is that having accepted a deposit you are in a slightly dodgy grey legal area, not sure where you’d stand on cancelling the sale.
 
I tried keeping a horse for my daughter who's heart wasn't in it and I ended up feeling pretty resentful about it all. He then got older and the option of selling was gone. I adored him so it was fine but if you have sold it to a good home already. Its hard but I think once its gone you will feel much better.

I'd also worry its just a bit unfair to cancel the sale at this point. There presumably is a child excited about a new pony involved.
 
Are you sure your buyer really wants the pony and will be able to afford him? Why the delay?
Children and ponies are difficult. Mine was quite keen when she was younger, especially when she won prizes! Relatives used to say she looked a different and happy child on a pony, she was lucky as able to have her pony at school when she was in junior school and definitely learnt a lot there, so it definitely provides a good foundation. My granddaughter was also keen until she got to thirteen and then announced she was giving up, l think largely because she wasn’t keen on mucking out or helping around the yard. I think 7 is a good age to start riding but winters are hard and most kids aren’t keen on cold, wind, rain. Can you come to an arrangement with the buyer that maybe they lease your pony/for a year and see how things go? It is difficult to find good children’s ponies, equally children grow so quickly you need to be able to keep pace and forward plan unless you have very deep pockets. Good luck whatever you decide.
 
I think you are do the right thing selling him, it’s hard when you have a golden one but it sounds like you can’t really afford to keep him and if your kids aren’t that keen then I’d sell and if they are interested in the future you could get something else then.

I’ve assumed you considered loaning out?
 
Do they really want to ride, or do you want them to ride? The 5yo I think they can be a bit hit & miss but at 7 I would have sacrificed several vital organs just to spend time around horses, my weekly riding lesson was the absolute highlight of the whole week and I refused to miss it come rain or shine, I remember even begging to be allowed to go when I had a terrible chest infection and coughing and wheezing my way around the dusty indoor delightedly 😆 I also worked slave labour at the riding school mucking out just because I wanted to be around the horses and cycled 3 miles to a local livery yard where a teenage girl used to let me help with her horses at weekends.

I'm not saying they're ungrateful at all but horses are hard work and in reality not a very productive hobby, I think you have to be utterly obsessed to stick with it. I think selling the pony is probably a good move just to give yourself a break, and see how they get on. It might be a case of 'you don't know what you had until it's gone' and they bounce back more committed in a year or 2, or they may just drift into other hobbies and interests. But I don't think you're being selfish at all not wanting to continue stretching yourself thin to offer them something on a plate they don't seem too enthused about.
 
Don't feel guilty. There are lots of good homes out there, and if you are concerned about the new family's ability to look after him, then keep in touch. Have your story ready for when the children ask where he is, and if you feel they would benefit from a couple of visits to see him on his new farm, then sort that out with the buyers, and then step back. Children forget pretty quickly and new interests take over.
 
I think at this stage it is the right decision to let him go to the buyer. Don't let sentiment overshadow common sense and what is ultimately going to be the right thing to do for the pony. Your children can easily ride elsewhere if they really want to, and it takes the pressure off you.
 
Abacus said:
I tend to agree that if they don’t love either the pony or riding enough to put in some hours then the pony isn’t worth keeping. That said, you’ve done the hard work of winter and maybe summer would give them some more enthusiasm as well as being a bit cheaper at least on hay. Even if you were to decide to sell in autumn, seems a shame to miss out on a nice summer of riding - if they still aren’t keen then you know the answer.

They’re pretty young and I also cut mine some slack at that age, I increased my expectations as they got older (and eventually sold my sons horse when he lost interest at about 14).

Would you consider a sharer? Another factor is that your pony sounds fabulous and hard to find again later if you wanted to.

Just one last point is that having accepted a deposit you are in a slightly dodgy grey legal area, not sure where you’d stand on cancelling the sale.
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OP would need to hand back the deposit, perhaps with a bit of compensation' and explain that there has been a change in circumstances, just as she would if the pony had sustained a severe injury.

I think the decision on what to do depends on why you bought the pony in the 1st place. If you thought it would be nice for them to have a pony and it would be a companion to your own horse, has anything changed? If not you have been expecting too much of your children and there is no real reason to sell the pony.

If the children begged for a pony of their own but have now lost interest that would point to a different decision imo.

I do wonder why you haven't just made going to see the pony part of their daily routine. They are both too young to ne able to make those kinds of decisions for themselves.
 
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Heart ruling head here. You know he has to go really. It’s sad but better for everyone. Just make as absolutely sure as you can it’s a good home. I’d personally offer to have him back if not settled in a reasonable period. Just to be sure.
 
My parents never bought me a pony, in part so I would ride a variety of ponies and get more experience but I also had to want it myself and work for it, which I did over the summers and winter weekend in and RS.

If in a few years, either of them wants it enough, they’ll figure it out.
 
Thanks everybody for the responses. They’re very helpful. I think I know deep down it’s the right thing which I guess is why I ended up advertising him, as I know he deserves so much more, even though he gets lots of love and attention for me he deserves a another child to give him that but obviously it’s just so difficult and it doesn’t help all this waiting around for him to go. It’s to do with transport issues he’s ended up staying with us for four weeks since deposit taken . Just to answer a couple of questions. We got him because my kids were sharing another Pony 2 years ago and said Pony was sold so we decided to buy one for them. They were initially really into it and then our first winter was tough but it did improve over Summer but again only riding once a week. But I’m finding I’m pressing them to go now. I work long days, my other half doesn’t get involved in the horses so he wouldn’t take them there, so I’d be going up early and late after work. It was part of their routine on my days off, but he mostly lives out apart from Jan-March, so if I’d been already to do mine that day he didn’t need seeing again unless they wanted to ride or go up, it was mostly just popping up to bring him in after school during winter. I never wanted to force them because ultimately it’s my passion and if they didn’t want to see him I didn’t force them. Which is why we’ve got to this situation really - because it’s not their passion it’s mine I guess.
 
Perfectpony07 said:
I’m really just looking for somewhere to vent and for some advice.
We’ve had our kids Pony for nearly 2 years he’s so lovely and very tolerant of my children he is such a good boy and a pony that is genuinely one in a million. I think this is what is ultimately making this decision so difficult for me. We’ve taken a deposit for him he’s due to go in a weeks time. He has ended up staying with us a lot longer than expected due to different reasons with the buyer, this is making it even more difficult for me.
I’ve been crying a lot as I’m not sure if I’m making the right choice.
A bit of a background my kids are 5&7, they were complete novices. I’ve taught them to ride, my older daughter who was now 7 is able to walk and trot, and has had a couple goes at cantering now. She’s still on the lead rein. Realistically they are riding every three or four weeks over the winter, mainly because of it being cold & trying to fit it in around Work and kids activities after school, and sometimes they just genuinely just don’t want to go but when they do go they absolutely love it and they ride really well, however they’re not bothered in generally seeing him between that, it’s costing me too much money for him to be sat in a field looking pretty hence the decision to sell him. since then my kids have rode a few times and so has my friends children and it’s just made it really difficult because he’s just such a good boy, hence him hanging around killing me.
He is sold to a lovely family, Who I think we utilise him a lot more than we are. My plan was to strip it back to a riding School, but the reality is, will a riding School allow us to ride twice a month - because ultimately that’s what I can afford for two children with the cost of riding lessons. The problem is, I cannot afford for them to have a pony and have lessons on him too. I’ve also got another Horse who is a youngster that they can spend time with brushing and things, but they won’t be able to sit on her for a long time though, maybe walking around that would be all.
Ultimately, we don’t have our own Land and we are paying Livery prices so it’s costing me £460 a month just for Delivery for two horses we are DIY , he lives in in winter and it’s me doing all the graft which I get. My kids are young but they are not even wanting to come and do any of it really. There is a possibility the farmer may allow me to have him on grass Livery which is cheaper but I can’t guarantee he will allow this in the winter. We have tried to share a route but it’s difficult to find reliable good people or people that will contribute.
I don’t really know the point of this post. I guess I’m trying to get an idea of what’s normal when you have a Pony with children of this age and if I’m expecting too much from them, or if what I’m doing is the right thing, given their level of commitment and interest.
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It doesn't sound like your kids want a pony. Give the amazing opportunity of a trustworthy and fun unicorn mount to a little person who will take full advantage of it.
 
I taught my children to ride on ponies that were well behaved but bargain basement, I had a very pretty Welsh A with a wisp of a tail. Adults always end up putting more work in, because kids have a short attention span, they didn't ride from October to March, we used to start when the clocks went back.
I think its down to what you want, it was a lot easier when they got bigger ponies because I could hop on and go for a short hack, I sold my temperamental mare for a 14hand young NF, that I trained for the eldest daughter to ride, and then it got passed down.
I would give your buyers a date to collect, and make them stick to it, it's costing you time and money, or cancel the sale and/ or charge them keep. The hardest pony to sell is a LR/FR, because everyone wants perfect,but if your pony is a good one it should sell before Easter PC.
If its possible I would by something you can ride, after LR technically ponies I bought for my daughters they were over horsed, but because they had a good temperament and were well schooled it wasn't a problem for them. Then if they decide they do not want to ride you have something to sell on if you want.
I wouldn't keep the pony just for your children’s sake because I think it will just become work not a pleasure. The children will adapt even though my daughters did everything PC, showing, and hunting and we had a lot of fun together by sixteen they are done, other things take over, and they have never gone back to it. It gets harder when they get older because unless they are really keen most are not that bothered most of the time IME and you end up being a nag.
 
Absolutely the right decision to sell & so much easier financially for you. They don’t sound interested enough & you can’t force it with them. Just get them a lesson here and there so they can develop their skills & in the future maybe get a horse/ pony you can all share.

They don’t sound remotely interested enough to have their own pony & the new family will probably be really excited about the new pony coming and do a lot more. Best of luck with your decision.
 
You've made the right decision.

By 7 I was absolutely housing my parents for a pony. Then the field across the road got leased to someone with ponies and I was in luck she had 2 small ponies and no rider... I spend every available second with them and didn't talk about anything else. Rain hail or shine I was in about it. Your kids might develop an interest later but it's not their time right now.
 
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My friend was in the exact same situation. Sweet little pony. Daughter lost interest. Wasted in the field. Unfortunately said pony boomeranged back. Awful new owners. And one broken pony. It’s hard making the decision. Been there when my girls gave up. Albeit much older.
 
If it helps our kids first pony was bought from someone just like yourself. Her children loved the pony but didn’t love riding enough to be self motivated to do it. They were also about the same age as your children.

We offered the family an opportunity to visit the pony as much as they wanted, which they did for a few years and the pony “wrote” to them regularly sending photos of her adventures.

Said pony is now 35 still at home with us and we still hear from previous owners at Christmas.

One of the children did take up riding again in her teens, but her Mum said it was then 100% up to her.

My children are well gone, but I’m still looking after the damned pony!
 
Ohh my goodness; at that age I've have seriously shed blood to be able to have a pony of my own.

However if your kids are not interested then they are not interested, end of.

Let this lovely little pony go to somewhere where they will appreciate him. Hope the sale goes OK.
 
New Forests Rock said:
At 7 I was riding a fat tailed Arab SHEEP 🙈 😂 (don't worry it was a massive thing and I was a little shrimp at that age). Point being I would have sold my soul for my own pony!! As others have said, let this pony go where he will be used, loved and enjoyed.
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I'm sure we'd all like to see photographic evidence of that if you have any 😅 did the sheep comply or was it helpful in teaching to stick on anything department? A guilty pleasure of mine is watching clips of "mutton bustin" in the US
 
Perfectpony07 said:
Thanks everybody for the responses. They’re very helpful. I think I know deep down it’s the right thing which I guess is why I ended up advertising him, as I know he deserves so much more, even though he gets lots of love and attention for me he deserves a another child to give him that but obviously it’s just so difficult and it doesn’t help all this waiting around for him to go. It’s to do with transport issues he’s ended up staying with us for four weeks since deposit taken . Just to answer a couple of questions. We got him because my kids were sharing another Pony 2 years ago and said Pony was sold so we decided to buy one for them. They were initially really into it and then our first winter was tough but it did improve over Summer but again only riding once a week. But I’m finding I’m pressing them to go now. I work long days, my other half doesn’t get involved in the horses so he wouldn’t take them there, so I’d be going up early and late after work. It was part of their routine on my days off, but he mostly lives out apart from Jan-March, so if I’d been already to do mine that day he didn’t need seeing again unless they wanted to ride or go up, it was mostly just popping up to bring him in after school during winter. I never wanted to force them because ultimately it’s my passion and if they didn’t want to see him I didn’t force them. Which is why we’ve got to this situation really - because it’s not their passion it’s mine I guess.
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I would question if these people are planning on going through with the sale! I’ve never heard of someone not collecting a pony for weeks due to transport issues…have they not got a stable to keep him in? Personally I’d have re-advertised him weeks ago, they sound like time wasters to me and I’d be dubious about mine going to a family such as this…! I assume they are not paying for his upkeep at the moment?

I’d give them a deadline or re-advertise, you won’t struggle to sell him if he’s as lovely as you say x
 
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