Am I good enough to have a horse?

[Georgie's mum]

I've had my horse (pony) for a year now and he is very frightened on hacks if he is on his own. However, in the last couple of months he has taken to bolting off, even if he's with another horse. I've been trying to get him accustomed to being on our own for a short time, but the other day he bolted with me when OH (who was walking with me) had taken a different route home, and I fell off. Pony cantered home, luckily he didn't have to cross a road, but if that had happened the other side of a road he wouldn't be here now. I had been struggling with confidence since the spooking and bolting had started, but now I'm at rock bottom; very very tearful and unsure what to do. I am having lessons, but I'm old (65) although quite fit, and I'm now wondering whether I should even have a horse at all. But I dissolve into floods of tears at the thought of giving him up. Anyone else been through this? How do I regain my confidence? Or should I just give up?

 

[Pearlsacarolsinger]

What a horrible experience for you, I am glad you weren't badly injured in the fall. Falling off at our age (I'm just slightly younger than you) isn't a good idea. I think you should have the right horse for you and I'm sorry but possibly your current horse isn't the right one.
But, it sounds as if your horse might be in pain/discomfort somewhere, which could be causing his behaviour. I would start with a vet check.

 

[ozpoz]

Sorry to hear of your struggle. I'd stop hacking him out until you've worked out his issue with your instructor. Make sure your saddlefitting is up to date and rule out any discomfort which might make him behave badly and I find as I get older I have to work harder on my own fitness and balance and go to pilates, yoga and dance to help with this. Of course you should have a horse, but if he is just being rude with you, then perhaps he isn't right for you - work at it with some help to find out if this is the case or not. Everyone has confidence crisis from time to time and they can be overcome - just stay within your comfort zone for now.

 

[meleeka]

Echo above. Your horse could well have a physical problem. Pain somewhere would certainly do that. Is there anyone you could get to ride your horse? It may help to have another opinion on what’s causing it. I certainly wouldn’t be riding on your own at the moment.

It’s easy to say sell the horse and find one more suitable, but only you know if that would be the answer.

 

[Hollychops]

Rule out any pain/discomfort issues and then work on yours and his confidence. It may be he is in pain, is just being rude and he is picking up on your lack of confidence. Once you have him checked out by a professional and have some help with your confidence you should know where the issue lies.

In no way feel you dont deserve a horse. If this one is not the right one it is better to let him go and have one that is the right one for you. I am not quite the same age as you (not that far of it though), but being of an older generation does not mean you cannot have and enjoy a hobby that you want to.

Hope you get something positive sorted soon.

 

[Toby_Zaphod]

Falling off at any age isn't very nice & the risk of injury is high. When you have reached your age, I know as I'm same age, when you hurt yourself you have more chance of hurting yourself permanent! You need to sort out if your pony is doing this because of pain, i.e. saddle fit, teeth, back etc or he just plain naughty. At our age we can't do naughtiness. If checks prove that there is nothing physically wrong with him then it's down to his behaviour. I would suggest that if it is behaviour then sell him & find yourself another horse without all the baggage. You may be attached to him but it costs just as much to keep a problem pony than a well behaved one. This is an expensive hobby/leisure activity & it's supposed to be enjoyable so possibly a change is what is needed?

As for this "Am I good enough to have a horse" nonsense, of course you are. The question is "Have I got the right horse for me"? Only you can decide that & possibly with some help from your instructor.

 

[Green Bean]

I am assuming your horse is not in any pain as you do not mention the issue happening in the school. It sounds like your horse is being unreasonable and getting away with it. I struggled with a mare for a year and a half, through numerous bucks and spooks with one resulting in a broken collar bone and another with a badly bruised pelvis and ribs. I had to face facts that I was over-horsed and was finding reasons why I couldn't ride. I took the extremely difficult decision to sell her. It does not fix everything, but I have a mare now who is a challenge, but she isn't dangerous. When I ride her I don't feel nervous but it has taken 6 months to recover my confidence. No horse is perfect but you need to find the right one for you.

 

[SpringArising]

How horrible - I had one who used to do this, except he did cross a busy road multiple times. I gave up trying in the end before one of us ended up killed, or killing someone else.

Get yourself something safe, I promise you won't regret it.

 

[OrangeAndLemon]

Once you've ruled out pain and discomfort...

I'm a nervous rider so I have a great friend who is the polar opposite of me as a rider, he is brave and will try anything. He rides my horse at least once a week so that my horse doesn't 'always have to put up with a nervous rider'.

When I was concerned about possible naughtiness, I paid an instructor to school him on a hack and report back. He behaved impeccably and just getting that report helped me.

Look for other options to take the stress away and just enjoy your horse. Wondering if you're good enough proves that you are. If you weren't worried and asking for help, then I'd be concerned.

 

[Tarragon]

It may be that he isn't the right pony for you but the solution isn't to give up on riding and having your own pony to ride!
If I was you I would do as the others have already suggested and make sure that there is no physical reason for the pony's behaviour, keep up with the lessons and when the weather is right and you are in a good mood take the pony out with your OH for a potter and keep it all very low key.
A lovely couple near me, probably close to you in age, have a horse and I often see them out together with one riding and the other on a bike but wearing a riding hat so I assume that they swap at some point on the ride.

 

[TPO]

I'm sorry that you had a fall and am glad to hear that you are both ok.

As you're a new poster you might not be familiar with the usual answers to posts like this. I don't know what your experience is beyond your one year of ownership so apologies in advance if I'm telling you how to suck eggs.

The "usual checks" that everyone refers to are normally:
Teeth done by a qualified and registered Equine Dental Technician or Vet who had done additional training and is BAEDT registered/qualified
Tack check by a saddle fitter
"back" check - this is usually physio/massage/chiro type reference as most people won't have a vet out every 6-12wks to check over a horse!
Hooves are in a regular hoofcare regime with a hoofcare professional

It would be assumed that if the above was seen to regularly and nothing of note ever came out of it that the horse was ok and pain free therefore making any issues behavioural, training and/or rider related. This isn't always the case but it's a jumping off point.

For posters on here (an each will have different levels of experience and points of view based on their personal experiences) to offer up an opinion the answer to the following questions might help:

How long have you ridden for?
What level would you assess yourself as being?
How often do you ride your horse and for how long?
How often do you have lessons?
What do you cover in your lessons?

How old is your horse?
What is his level of experience?
What breed is he?
What was he doing before you bought him?
What is his daily routine re turnout/stabling?
What is he fed?
Did he hack alone before you bought him? Did you try him out hacking alone before you bought him?

How do you feel when hacking alone? Is this something that you were confident doing or have you always been a bit uncomfortable going out alone?
What do you do on a hack ie all walk or lots of fast work etc?
Do you have lots of options for hacking or is it the same few routes?
Are they circular routes and/or do you ever have to double back on yourself?

I appreciate that there are a lot of questions - I have more but don't want to scare you off!

There are so many factors that could be contributing to your horse's behaviour that I feel it's a bit rash to be thinking at this stage that he's the wrong horse. Rome wasn't built in a day and a year isn't a long time if either one of you are relatively green.

You definitely shouldn't question if you're "good enough" to own a horse. You've recognised that there is an issue and are trying to address it. That in itself speaks volumes so please don't beat yourself up. Onwards from here on in

 

[Equi]

You should have a horse, just not this one. Without being offensive you’re too wise shall we say to be bothering with troublesome animals. Get a nice plod and get back to enjoying a walk about the countryside like you should be.

 

[WelshD]

Has anyone else tried with him?

I recently bought a pony that had apparently bolted with someone. I had two riders at the time coming here to ride, he tried it with one and didn't with the other. Different riders with different riding styles but both confident he just is ok for one and not the other. Match made in heaven for one combination but not the other, perhaps you just don't have the right pony for you.

You could try something like calming cookies or confidence EQ (gel that goes inside their nostrils) to see if he is picking up nervous vibes from you

Also what is he fed? Plenty of feeds out there that make ponies excitable and spooky

 

[poiuytrewq]

That would scare me too OP. You e had some good advice above but be kind to yourself. Xx

 

[Lois Lame]

I think this isn't the right horse for you. Plain and simple. You deserve the right one.

 

[Georgie's mum]

Thank you everyone for your advice. In answer to a few people, I have had the vet check him out, I've had the physio, his feet are done regularly and his teeth have been done within the last year. The vet couldn't find anything wrong - the next step would be to send him to Liphook for further tests, but I'm not sure what they'd be testing - the physio could find nothing wrong, his feet are fine and the dentist said his teeth are perfect for his age. I had a new saddle in April, and it was checked in June and didn't have to be adjusted.
I have had a horse before, for three years, but he suddenly changed from being really gentle to being extremely aggressive, (again, no obvious cause but I don;t think it was my fault!) so I had to send him back to the dealer I got him from. So, I'm not TOTALLY inexperienced, but obviously not as experienced as many people out there.
I'm trying a horse behaviourist but keeping an open mind about the long-term future.

 

[snowangel5]

How horrible - I had one who used to do this, except he did cross a busy road multiple times. I gave up trying in the end before one of us ended up killed, or killing someone else.

Get yourself something safe, I promise you won't regret it.

That sounds frightening

 

[Summit]

Echo above. Your horse could well have a physical problem. Pain somewhere would certainly do that. Is there anyone you could get to ride your horse? It may help to have another opinion on what’s causing it. I certainly wouldn’t be riding on your own at the moment.

It’s easy to say sell the horse and find one more suitable, but only you know if that would be the answer.

I agree with the above.

You should be enjoying horse ownership. I sold my previous horse as he was too much for me and now have the most fabulous horse (I’m 52 by the way).

And no way are you too and you are good enough...with the right horse

 

[JulesRules]

I do feel for you as I went through a crisis in confidence a couple of years back and it took a long time to work through.

The problem with the sort of issue you describe is that it almost becomes self fulfilling once pony realises they can get away with it.

I'm going to suggest a couple of things?

Is he spooky before bolting, or just tries to spin and bolt home? Checking for ulcers is another thing you could consider as it can be caused by anxiety, but the symptoms can then make them more spooky and it escalates.

Other than that I woukd suggest the following. These are the things that helped me get my confidence back.

Firstly try to arrange to have someone on the ground when you hack out and if needs be put the pony on a lead rein for a few weeks.

Ideally get someone confident hacking the pony out and walk on the ground with them.

Get an old flash strap or similar and put if between the D rings on your saddle. If you are feeling nervous you can grab it which will give you more confidence and relax you which should be conveyed to your pony.

Lastly, go to a good riding school and have a few lessons on a horse that you can relax and enjoy riding. This is the key to getting your confidence up which will be transferred back to your pony.

I'd give up on going out alone for now until you are hacking out confidently in company again.

Don't beat yourself up, we've all been there and these things take time !

 

[paddy555]

I think you have to work out if your horse has a problem with himself ie pain or a problem with yourself as his rider. I would simply ask your instructor or an experienced rider to take him out for an hour, detail what you want done with him and go along in your car and watch from various points. I would expect the horse to be difficult to start with and to argue but then to give in and give a good ride. If he does that then I feel the problem may well lie with your confidence. If the rider has problems you will have a good idea you need to go down the pain route. Your instructor should be able to tell from riding him if he is in fact a quiet pony that you could work on getting a better relationship with or alternatively if he is either trying it on or is simply too sharp for you.

No one can rule out pain from a forum post but I suspect that what you are describing is a not very confident pony to start with, you say he is frightened hacking alone. Each time he is less confident you lose confidence and you could well both be in a spiral whereby your lack of confidence and ability to "carry" him along is resulting in an even greater loss of confidence on his part so thing just go from bad to worse.
I came across an identical situation to this when the horse and rider were simply winding each other up to panic. I put the pony on long reins (I was too big to ride it) and off we marched. It was very easy to see that instilling the pony with confidence it would go anywhere. I then put the rider back on and motivated her every stride to step up to the pony and really ride it. If you are able to long rein and are more confident on the ground you could try this. You may see a difference in the pony. You could try your OH or someone more experienced walking with you and really making you work every stride and put some confidence into the ride. Telling you what to do ie stop, rein back and boosting your confidence when you get it right. That is not just ambling along but stopping, turning, riding in both directions etc and see if things could be any better.

None of the above is meant to sound nasty as I am sure you are in a very unhappy position. If it doesn't work I would sell the pony and use your horse keeping money for extra lessons but make sure they are based on going out hacking and that the instructor knows the problem and really works at you to take the lead, go your own way etc etc. That way you could well give your confidence a boost and after a few months you will be ready for a new pony.

BTW 65 is not old in any way whatsoever. I will be 65 next birthday and am just breaking my 4yo. You have very many years left yet to ride.

 

[ihatework]

Where do you keep the pony?
My suggestion would be to have him/her on a good ridden livery yard for 2-3 months, let a confident rider do a bit of work with the pony and assess its behaviour and then help and support you ride it.

Finding the right yard though will be paramount.

And if at the end of that there is no significant improvement, sell and get a different one

 

[Annagain]

You've already had excellent advice. I just wanted to add, please don't let this put you off. Hopefully you can resolve any issues your boy has but if not, find the right horse for you.

 

[stormox]

I've had my horse (pony) for a year now and he is very frightened on hacks if he is on his own. However, in the last couple of months he has taken to bolting off, even if he's with another horse. I've been trying to get him accustomed to being on our own for a short time, but the other day he bolted with me when OH (who was walking with me) had taken a different route home, and I fell off. Pony cantered home, luckily he didn't have to cross a road, but if that had happened the other side of a road he wouldn't be here now. I had been struggling with confidence since the spooking and bolting had started, but now I'm at rock bottom; very very tearful and unsure what to do. I am having lessons, but I'm old (65) although quite fit, and I'm now wondering whether I should even have a horse at all. But I dissolve into floods of tears at the thought of giving him up. Anyone else been through this? How do I regain my confidence? Or should I just give up?

1st question in my mind is - Is he really bolting or just spooking or whipping round and running off? It doesnt sound like a 'bolt' if he cantered home.
If he is really 'bolting' ie a flat out gallop going through everything in his way there really isnt much you can do, apart from pull as hard as you can on one rein and circle till he slows. But he may never be safe hacking.
If its spooking and/or whipping round whdn you feel him tense up or look try and get him to drop his head and concentrate on you. Train this in a safe place first. Look forward, sit up straight , shortish reins and ride on. You could try putting spooky things in a field or arena, keep changing them, and practice riding past without him deviating.
I dont consider you old at all, there is no 'too old' for riding.

 

[MiJodsR2BlinkinTite]

Ditto all the above advice which is excellent!

I'm an "older rider" and nope you just don't bounce like you did when you were a teen!!

I would be inclined to explore any pain issues to start with. Yes it will cost you a bit of cash, but you need to be able to eliminate it as far as you can as that will enable you to make choices, i.e. if the issue is pain-related OR behavioural. If behavioural, then you would benefit from some professional help, or as others have suggested, pass this horse on and get something which really suits you!

Re. pain. I bought my mare last autumn. She was labelled "project" and apparently before I had her, had been loaned out from a Riding School/RDA set-up, to a girl on summer loan. In this home she had allegedly "bolted"..... I was told that she met a tractor towing a pig behind, at the same time as a helicopter was overhead, at the same time as her saddle slipped. And the next time the girl took her out, she "bolted" again. I went to try her, liked what I saw, and knew, just knew, that this mare was right for me! Call it instinct, I dunno, and I'm not a big bold or confident rider, but anyway, I brought her home! As soon as I'd tried to ride her at home, she moved away from the mounting block, and wouldn't pick up her feet for me either. The friend (and my training mentor) who'd brought her home for me, said "get the physio for her". Which I did. And it turned out that this mare was in considerable pain!! Which would've explained her behaviour. After treatment and rest, she's turned out into a totally fantastic mare. It has taken time, but we've got there!!

I say this because I really do wonder whether your horse is in pain....... and for both your sakes, you need to eliminate this as far as you can before you go any further.

I would get the vet out to check teeth and see if anything intrinsic is going on, then physio, then saddle fitter.

For now, I would just do some groundwork, leading in hand, picking up feet, making the horse move around you etc etc., and not ride. You could put up a little obstacle course in the arena, or whatever. Just to get you both engaging.

When you know a little more of what's going on, then personally I would get yourself a sensitive professional who can work with you and the horse and do a thorough appraisal of whether this horse is right for you, and indeed safe, and take their advice if they feel that this horse is NOT right for you! Sometimes an expert can look at something with a professional and unbiased eye, and will be able to see things that you cannot.

Don't beat yourself up!! For now, you need to find out what's going on with this horse.