Am I just not cut out to be a horse owner?

[Laurac13]

So very sorry ? hugs, it’s not you it’s bad luck and dodgy dealers, your not a bad owner at all

 

[splashgirl45]

many people wouldnt have noticed the problems and would have ridden through them and assumed it was naughtiness, you have listened to all of your horses and done the right thing. sorry you have had such bad luck and hope the news is soon better

 

[[59668]]

I was always into horses when I was younger, volunteered at a riding school for many years until I was 16 when I ended up moving out of home as my mum moved abroad. I started having lessons again at 29, bought my first horse with the "help" of the riding school. He was a 16.2hh german warmblood ex showjumper (12 years old). Long story short, very dodgy dealer (ended up going to prison for selling dodgy horses) and even dodgier vet who was struck off I believe for dodgy vettings (I was naïve and the riding school advised their vet was coming to do jabs and could do his vetting... obviously never again!). a few months passed, and unfortunately he started to seem lame, and it turns out he had severe suspensory damage in both hind legs. 9 months box rest, 18 months rehab and he went lame when we introduced 20m circles in the school. His legs were worse than ever. He was unfortunately PTS.

Got my mare, a 7 year old ISH from a local seller. At viewing she struggled a bit with right rein canter, but she was green and my instructor (and later my vet at the vetting) agreed it was a schooling issue. took her back to basics for a year. Upped the workload (Im talking prelim level at home and popping tiny jumps) and she refused to go forward. Back, teeth, saddles all checked. Still refusing and starting to slightly threaten to rear. 4 visits to my local vet over a couple of months, 1/10 lame on hard surface on a circle and told she is naughty and to push her through. 1 month later I have a nasty fall (broncing and rearing now), so decide that either she is in pain or I am not suited to her. Decide to check pain and get referred to AHT (Sue Dyson). Sue finds a multitude of issues (sacroiliac issues, PSD in both hinds and negative rotation of her pedal bones in both fronts). she suggests retirement at 9 years old. I rehab her with the help of a specialist (slowly etc.), eventually I am riding her and she feels the best she has felt. Then all of a sudden she broncs me off and I loose consciousness. My worst fall ever to date. I was told by many she was malicious as there was no need for her to have reacted like that, she was doing a 20m circle in trot. I took her to the vets. her suspensories had got worse and unfortunately I had to retire her. She was retired for around 3 months and one day she looked off to me. vets 2 days later and they rescanned and told me her legs had deteriorated rapidly (even though she didn't look any worse). I had to PTS 2 days later.

And now J...….. I'm absolutely heartbroken. He is 6 years old and whilst I don't know the extent of his issues yet (still waiting for the referral vet to call me for an appointment), from speaking to the specialist at my vets yesterday its not great news.

Am I just unlucky or useless with horses? I know people will be thinking and talking. They did after my mare, saying I PTS too soon etc.

Just feeling extremely low and vulnerable right now. If we have the CT scan booked at least I will be able to have a date to look towards. At the minute its just so all up in the air.

Keep going.
I bought a horse off the same dealer as you. Total disaster.
Had a few more with terrible luck and medical issues, losing my wonderful cob to cancer.
Then I got my current horse. She is amazing. Everything I have ever wanted.
So keep going.

 

[TPO]

I think that fact that you are even posting to ask the question shows that you are the right type of person to own animals. The downside to caring and doing right by them means that you don't ignore anything meaning that the ratio of bad news often seems unfair when compared to others who are less vigilant.

I have been almost exactly where you are. I'll try not to bore you with my tales of woe but short version is that I lost 3 of my horses, one a year, from 2008-2010 and the one I sold in 2009 (also a bit of a disaster/missold with lots of blood, sweat and tears (all mine!) to get going) dropped dead in his new owners field 3mths later which I still found really upsetting. So 4 horses within 3yrs isn't good going...

When I lost The Precious One (TPO) at the end of June 2010 (who I'd also been through the mill with when she went lame a week after arriving (5 stage vetted) and vets couldn't figure it out so she ended up in surgery because they thought it was a tumour in her pastern but turned out to be grit of all things) I was completely heartbroken and couldn't face another. I didn't post about it on here as such but when another poster wrote about how upset she was having lost a horse for the same reason I replied to empathise and show that it wasn't just her that it had happened to. Another prominent HHOer replied ripping both of us to shreds, despite the heartbreak being very obvious, and even 10yrs on I've not forgotten about it (hold a grudge, me?). So while it wasn't from fellow liveries I know how it feels when someone kicks you when you are rock bottom.

Driving back from the vets with an empty trailer was soul destroying and I was half way through arranging a companion for her companion (I kept them on a place I rented myself) it just dawned on my that I couldn't do it and I couldn't be up caring for two horses when one wasn't her so the original companion when back to her owner. I think I lasted 2wks with no horse before I was looking online and I had a new one by the end of August.

I'd done everything "right", had him on trial and got the vet to him all for it to go horribly wrong. I had him from 2010-2016 and think I consistently rode for about 3mths in 2010, the rest was endless vet visits, two surgeries, a lot of box rest and a lorry load of stress and worry. He was never bad enough to pts on welfare grounds/for his benefit but with the benefit of hindsight I wish that I had pts a lot sooner for my sake*

He was pts 2016 when mum's horse developed a severe heart murmur so the decision was made for him. My horse was as good as he was going to get given that he was now a 16yr old ex-racer who'd been started at 16-18mths (conflicting stories from previous grooms but still FAR too young), he hadn't come out of winter quite as well as normal and while the original cause of all his medical bills was under control, best it had ever been in fact, he was starting to look a little short and slight heat in a knee which made me think that arthritis was looming. So yeah I had both of them to PTS on the same day.

That left me with my then 4yr old, he had been bought as a 2yr old to cheer me up after all the dramas with the TB and proceeded to arrive as a skeleton with matted fur (including rainscald and mud fever) stuck on. Could not catch a break.

Have I had countless tantrums about how unfair it is? Yes. Have I had numerous meltdowns about my bad/lack of luck? Yes. Have I had wailing sessions because "everyone" else manages to sail through horse ownership? Absolutely

There is a lot of truth in the saying "ignorance is bliss". Look at this episode with J and how so many people tried to belittle your gut feeling that something was up and tell you that he wasn't lame/that bad etc. They are the people that sail through having horses, not because they are doing a good job but because they are completely oblivious to it whether it's wilfully or through ignorance/neglect. Like you've I've involved a vet when I have seen or felt something was slightly off and been ridiculed about being paranoid (TPO also The Paranoid Owner) and yet they ride their dog lame horses, come back with rosettes and good scores from dressage (!!) and really enjoy themselves....

I know a lot more now than I did when things started going south in 2008 and I know a lot less than I'll hopefully know in the coming years. Sadly there are somethings that you only learn the hard way.

Maya Angelou — ‘Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.’

I completely understand where you are coming from saying that this is your last. Been there and with hindsight I should have stayed there a bit longer. I've said countless times that Chip is my last and I won't get another but <touching wood frantically> respiratory issues (that were caused by a not so wonderful yard and have had a long term impact on him) aside he's been as good as gold with minimum vet involvement. There are good and hardy horses out there.

You should be glad that you aren't like "the others", that you did listen to your horse and you took immediate action. His welfare has always come first and that is what matters at the end of the day.

*re pts for "my" sake. I've never considered me a factor before. The animals always came first and I would never keep something going just because I couldn't bear to lose them. I blame my farmer family for that outlook. When my last TB was pts, the same day as mum's horse, I was of course very sad and upset but I also felt a lot of relief and that was unexpected. It had become the norm to wonder every day what was going on with Big TB and waiting for the next episode of something. It wasn't even just his medical issues but if something was going to go wrong it would be with him. I was the only person who checked fences and cleared miles of old wire and rotten fence posts from a field; who's horse still managed to get a wire cut at a joint? I swept the yard meticulously and was always sweeping up at the back of other people and who's horse stands on metal someone else dropped and gets a punctured frog? Who puts their horse in the indoor that everyone else rode in daily and is the one that ends up with a nail in the hoof?

Sorry back to my point, it wasn't until he was gone and that constant worry lifted that I realised how "heavy" it had been but it had just become my normal. With hindsight I should have pts earlier for my sake as he would have been neither up nor down going sooner or when he did.

Someone else mentioned this factor on another thread on here about pts (not that I am saying J is PTS; just empathising with how you are currently feeling about not wanting to go through it again) and how we should consider our own wellbeing as I think 99% of the time that is totally overlooked.

It can be incredibly stressful owning a horse full stop never mind a "broken" one. Having gone through what I went through with the Big TB I would never do that to myself again and it has changed my POV when dealing with horses and being asked my opinion on sick/broken horses.

It's easy to say but try not to jump the gun. Wait until you get the CT results and then discuss it with the vets. The people who didn't support your initial concerns have shown their true colours, I hope that you know that people on here have your back.

 

[EventingMum]

I really feel for you but can honestly say it's just bad luck - I had never lost one to lameness in 45 years of ownership until last year when I lost 3, all pts on the same day for different leg ailments.

 

[Mari]

I feel for you. I have had very similar experiences & I too have a beautiful dressage pony retired at 9 years old, same issues as yours. My new pony has come from a rescue. He’s an absolute delight & can do everything I want to do & takes it all in his stride. Best part of taking on a rescue from a bona fide rescue is you know what you are getting.

 

[Christmascinnamoncookie]

So according to the vet, will this affect J being ridden?

 

[SatansLittleHelper]

So sorry you have had, and are having, such a rotten time
As someone who has made a plethora of expensive and soul destroying mistakes (usually of my own doing because Im a plank ?) I can totally empathise with you.
You are not a bad owner, you've had bad luck. I think one thing that jumps out at me is that you have been given such rubbish advice which has had an impact on your situation. I hope J can be sorted for you. I don't have much else to say but sending a hug xxx

 

[Pearlsacarolsinger]

It sounds to me as if you are a very good owner that any horse would be proud to call their own but you have been very badly advised and perhaps a bit naive at times.

Fingers crossed that J isn't as bad as you fear.

 

[Gingerwitch]

TPO - what is grit ?

 

[Gingerwitch]

Do sorry to hear about your latest horse. Hugs and take no notice of the livery yard know it alls you obviously know your horse which is increasingly rare these days.

 

[Goldenstar]

Ah that’s crap .
take a breath and consider if you wish to spend a quarter of the price of another horse on a CT scan .

 

[Goldenstar]

Ps I am better at advising this than doing it .

 

[TPO]

TPO - what is grit ?

Grit as in really small stones.

She must have had a small puncture wound and it got in unnoticed. She presented with an abscessing pastern and x-rays, scans and biopsy didnt reveal anything. They did exploratory surgery on the basis that if they found cancer (their assumption as to what was going on) they wouldnt bring her back round. So that was a fun experience ?

 

[Gingerwitch]

Grit as in really small stones.

She must have had a small puncture wound and it got in unnoticed. She presented with an abscessing pastern and x-rays, scans and biopsy didnt reveal anything. They did exploratory surgery on the basis that if they found cancer (their assumption as to what was going on) they wouldnt bring her back round. So that was a fun experience ?

Thank you for explaining, when I was up. North they referred to an abscess as gravel, so I just wondered. Sorry to hear that x x

 

[Dyllymoo]

Thank you so much all you are very kind.

J is insured so will go through that for the CT. Worth doing really and the vet has highly recommended so we can see exactly what we are dealing with.

Still no call from RVC hopefully they will call tomorrow.

 

[Flame_]

I was always into horses when I was younger, volunteered at a riding school for many years until I was 16 when I ended up moving out of home as my mum moved abroad. I started having lessons again at 29, bought my first horse with the "help" of the riding school. He was a 16.2hh german warmblood ex showjumper (12 years old). Long story short, very dodgy dealer (ended up going to prison for selling dodgy horses) and even dodgier vet who was struck off I believe for dodgy vettings (I was naïve and the riding school advised their vet was coming to do jabs and could do his vetting... obviously never again!). a few months passed, and unfortunately he started to seem lame, and it turns out he had severe suspensory damage in both hind legs. 9 months box rest, 18 months rehab and he went lame when we introduced 20m circles in the school. His legs were worse than ever. He was unfortunately PTS.

Got my mare, a 7 year old ISH from a local seller. At viewing she struggled a bit with right rein canter, but she was green and my instructor (and later my vet at the vetting) agreed it was a schooling issue. took her back to basics for a year. Upped the workload (Im talking prelim level at home and popping tiny jumps) and she refused to go forward. Back, teeth, saddles all checked. Still refusing and starting to slightly threaten to rear. 4 visits to my local vet over a couple of months, 1/10 lame on hard surface on a circle and told she is naughty and to push her through. 1 month later I have a nasty fall (broncing and rearing now), so decide that either she is in pain or I am not suited to her. Decide to check pain and get referred to AHT (Sue Dyson). Sue finds a multitude of issues (sacroiliac issues, PSD in both hinds and negative rotation of her pedal bones in both fronts). she suggests retirement at 9 years old. I rehab her with the help of a specialist (slowly etc.), eventually I am riding her and she feels the best she has felt. Then all of a sudden she broncs me off and I loose consciousness. My worst fall ever to date. I was told by many she was malicious as there was no need for her to have reacted like that, she was doing a 20m circle in trot. I took her to the vets. her suspensories had got worse and unfortunately I had to retire her. She was retired for around 3 months and one day she looked off to me. vets 2 days later and they rescanned and told me her legs had deteriorated rapidly (even though she didn't look any worse). I had to PTS 2 days later.

And now J...….. I'm absolutely heartbroken. He is 6 years old and whilst I don't know the extent of his issues yet (still waiting for the referral vet to call me for an appointment), from speaking to the specialist at my vets yesterday its not great news.

Am I just unlucky or useless with horses? I know people will be thinking and talking. They did after my mare, saying I PTS too soon etc.

Just feeling extremely low and vulnerable right now. If we have the CT scan booked at least I will be able to have a date to look towards. At the minute its just so all up in the air.

I've not read the thread but get yourself a nice arab/ connie/ section d. I long ago came to the conclusion that sports horses regular amateur people can afford and get their hands on aren't sound. Virtually all of them, its not you.

 

[Dyllymoo]

I've not read the thread but get yourself a nice arab/ connie/ section d. I long ago came to the conclusion that sports horses regular amateur people can afford and get their hands on aren't sound. Virtually all of them, its not you.

Thank you but J is a cob.... not a sports horse bone in his beautiful hairy body! Im too big for an Arab!

 

[Keep Trying]

Really sorry to hear you are going through this but take some solace from the fact that you are not alone. Although I don't have stats, I think it would be fair to believe that almost every horse owner/handler has experienced heartache and pain with horses in some form or other.

I, too, have had really crappy luck losing my best friend in 2015 to irreparable leg injuries after a field accident. After six months, I bought a 5 year warmblood mare which absolutely sailed through a five stage vetting only to go lame about five months later and never really recover resulting in having to PTS two weeks before her 9th birthday. I cried for a whole month after both of them. I tried to look at getting another but the two I looked at were hopelessly misadvertised and I found it really distressing to walk away and leave these poor creatures. I don't have pots of money and have to keep mine on livery so can only really afford one at a time and I get so attached to them, I just don't think I can go through such pain again.

I think the upshot of what I am trying to say is that for such big animals, they are incredibly fragile and it doesn't matter whom you are or what you know there will always be a risk when buying horses and everyone of them can go wrong at any time. You have done your absolute best by your horses and no-one can criticise you for that nor should they. See what comes about with J and go with what feels right for you and whatever decisions you make in the future, do so knowing that you've always done the best you could.

Good Luck.

 

[tristar]

You don't have to be a horse owner to enjoy and appreciate horses though. I am just about to say goodbye to my last horse (don't panic: he's going to a retirement home with a friend), and don't plan on having another. If I do get the urge to ride again it will be either at a riding stable or on a friends' horse. I have had more than 50 years of owning and caring for horses and frankly I have had enough of the responsibility, worry, and hard labour involved. Time to retire and enjoy lots of fond memories. I'll ride if I want, but at the moment I have had enough.

aw, but you deserve a break, a complete rest, then see how you feel, after last year and all, its a long time to be with horses, hope you have a lovely break with time for yourself

 

[Dyllymoo]

Phew we have a date for the CT (next Thursday). I feel so much better. Now just 6 days to obsess ?

 

[misst]

I can only sympathise. It is rotten rotten luck. I know how you feel. We had a beautiful TB for my (then) teenage daughter. He was amazing and did everything she wanted and more for 2 years then went 1/10 lame. After months and months of investigations Sue Dyson saw him and diagnosed a ruptured collateral ligament in his rt fore. He was PTS as it was non recoverable. I was devastated and my daughter took years to fully recover.
We bought another youngster for her to compete from a very reputable eventing dealer. She worked so hard for 18 months to bring him on (we had a small budget so could not afford anything ready made). He started broncing so vet came - spinal ligament injury in the field. Rest and rehab and moved on... started to refuse to go forward - suspensories scanned - both dodgy but he did not look lame and several people had advised to ride him through the naughtiness. More rest more rehab no more jumping but low level dressage was fine along with hacking. After 18 months he started rearing - again we were advised by experienced people to ride him through it. He turned out to have SI problems. He was retired to the field for 6 months where he became obviously unsound so PTS. My daughter never bought another horse as she could not bear to go through it again.
It does make you question yourself. You did the right thing though. Your horses were lucky, as I believe ours were, that they had owners who listened to them even when it was not obvious what was wrong. I know two people who bought from the same dealer as you and they were "helped" by their riding school and used the same vet for vetting. You were not alone in that one.
I send you wishes and hugs for J and yourself xx

 

[awelshandawarmblood]

Fantastic owner with very very bad luck Definitely not a bad owner! Really do wish you & J the best of luck xx