Am I mean

M

malibu211211

Well-Known Member
Joined
27 June 2005
Messages
1,661
Location
How the hell do I know??? I can barely remember my
Visit site
Feeling a bit mean as I have put Monty up for loan/share
frown.gif
After losing D I just don't have any interest in Monty at all. In fact it makes me feel sick just going to the yard
frown.gif
The worst thing is it's not Monty's fault, he hasn't done anything which is why I thought if I put him up for loan/share for the season then at least he'll be enjoying himself and get the love and attention he needs.
Not sure if I have done the right thing?
 
no you are not being mean, you are being sensible.!
you have just lost D and it will take you a while to get to the point where you are enthusiastic about being up the yard again..
your comment "I thought if I put him up for loan/share for the season then at least he'll be enjoying himself and get the love and attention he needs." is spot on.. don't worry, i think you are doing the right thing..
smile.gif
 
no your not mean, your human.. Its only natural that you hate going to that yard just now. Its very early days, You do whatever feels right for you. When i lost my guy i hated going to the yard too. It took me months to get over losing him and even now, (i am still at the same yard) I have moments when i look at his stable or up the field and i still feel gutted. You do whats right for you and when the times right you get Monty back or whatever you want.. My heart goes out to you.
 
no your not being mean at all,if its making you bad going to the yard then like you say m isnt going to get the attention he needs as your not wanting to be there,it will get better in time but dont force youself to be somewhere your not happy atm m will also feel this and you cant tell him the reason why !
 
No its not being mean just be careful not to rush into a decision while the pain is still so fresh
frown.gif


It could take a while to feel interested in horses again and you don't want to feel guilty for ignoring Monty but on the other hand focusing on Monty may be just what you need to help you recover from your loss.

Only you can decide what is best for you hun
 
Not mean at all, just practical with how you are feeling at the moment. At least if he goes out on loan it's not forever so you can have him back as and when you are ready.
 
It's a very tricky time for you & everyone responds differently to losing a horse.

When I lost Cat last year, I was 'stuck' with Jenny as she's in her mid 30's & no-one would want her, but I have to say, I found it quite helpful to have her around. She needed feeding, looking after etc & I hacked her out 2 or 3 times a week. For me, it kept some semblance of normality to retain something of the old routine. It kind of forced me to keep going because I felt responsible for keeping her happy, because after all, she must have been grieving too.

You should do whatever feels right for you.

Hope you feel better soon. xx
 
Everyone is different, when I knew I was losing my girl I moved my gelding to a new yard, I then didn't see him for a few days (full livery). Was too hard going back to the old yard and I found it really helpful to have a new place to go to and a horsey to make a fuss of. I'm sorry for your loss.
 
No, not mean, but definately a little hasty.

When I had my gelding put down, I had to go back to the yard because of my mare, and it was horrible for the first few weeks, but had no choice.

I forced myself to ride her and even forced myself to be nice to her, as I didn't really want to be anywhere near a horse, let alone walking across the field where my boy had been pts.

See if you feel the same way in a couple of weeks - you're still feeling a bit raw at the moment, but the more time you spend with Monty, the more time you'll want to spend with him.

It does get better - promise!!
 
I know just how you feel. When i lost my boy (years ago now) i did not want to be around my other horse, but loaning was not an option for me Due to reasons i do not want to go into. I wish i had been able to loan him out just until i go my head straight again. It took me quite a while to get over losing my other horse

When i look back i feel quite sorry for the other horse. He was still looked after and wanted for nothing, but i did not enjoy him for quite a while. If you feel loaning your horse at this time is right for you, go for it. Only you know just how you feel and if it is just to raw to be around your other horse at the moment it wouldn't hurt for a while just to get away from it all . I promise it does get easier.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top