Am I over-reacting?

[LEC]

I went away for 2 days over the weekend and left my horse in my mothers care. He is out 24/7 on his own, he is next to my mothers horse so easy to check and all round no hassle. I came back yesterday and she told me she had let some girl from down the road ride him out with her. At this point I got really cross as I have about £300 of comp fees been paid out for next 2 weeks, I do not think his back is right and she never boots him up. All this she does know. We had a massive arguement about it as I am so pissed off that I do not even get a phonecall about it where as she presumes her actions were fine. She has now informed me that she will not help me at all and will have nothing to do with my horse. This is not too much of a problem but it does mean in winter my horse will be out till 6pm when I get back from work as previously we had an arrangement of me turning out and her catching. So am I over-reacting?

 

[Bri]

I don't know, if it had been anyone else I'd say no, but as it's your mum!?! Always much trickier when family is involved, but I think I'd probably be just as angry in your situation....

And I'm sure things will be sorted out and you'll go back to helping each other in no time...I know in my family grudges are never held very long!!

 

[pixie]

I don't think you're overreacting. I wouldn't've allowed any random person on my pony without being there while they rode. She should have at least asked you for your permissions beforehand.

 

[GinaB]

I agree with BG, it makes it much more difficult as a family member is involved! Think you def. need to talk to your mum and see why she thought it'd be a good idea considering your horse isn't quite right at the mo and she was aware of this! Hope you get everything sorted!

 

[Weezy]

Hmmmmmmm well it isnt as if R is a push button ride - he can spook and needs firm riding so I can see your frustration as if he ever got away with it even once he is so clever he would prob think he could for life - you have brought him back from a crappy state and so I think you are rightly protective of him

Only concern is its your mother and it IS useful to have someone on site to do him if you want to go away

Can really understand your frustration tho xx

 

[seabiscuit]

Ah the joy of mothers! No I dont think that you are over-reacting at all- I would be livid myself. But mothers just dont understand am afraid. Swallow your pride and do some grovelling and I am sure that she will agree to do your horses again! Have been there myself in exact same sort of situ, have had to bite my tongue and apologise to mother- just because I need her to do stuff and couldnt do without her! I am sure her heart will melt if you say sorry and buy her something.....the number of times my mum has said that she doesnt want anything to do with it anymore but have managed to talk her round!

 

[kildalton]

I used to look after my daughter's horse, and would never dream of doing anything without her permission , or do things differently to how she wanted (I don't do her now as she's had to go on to full livery, not because we fell out- I hope!)

 

[seabiscuit]

Kath can I swap mothers?! Lol! Mine wont even hold a horse!and she is too scared to feed it even. argh.

 

[GTs]

I think so - way too over protective of your horse!!!! You mum was doing you a favor, and it really is not a big deal to let someone else go on a gentle ride with your horse - infact your horse probably enjoyed it.

I also think it is a tough arguement that he is isn't quite right, and also you have fees out for competing him.

Seems like a spoilt child being - MINE MINE MINE - if you ask me.

 

[Sooty]

I am going to look after Troggy's horse when she is away, and I wouldn't dream of letting someone else ride her, especially without asking. The fact that your mum knows you have paid fees, and you were only away for a couple of days, should have meant that she left your horse alone in the field. I know it is difficult when family is concerned, but I do think she is in the wrong and you are not overreacting. As for your horse being out till 6pm, both ours are throughout the winter and it is not a problem.

 

[Sooty]

You do seem to have a different attitude towards horses from the majority of owners though, and I think your comments are quite harsh. Unless you are making one of your famous jokes again...

 

[Cuffey]

Im the Mum who was left looking after horse while son went off to uni--being presented with super comp fit horse I had barely sat on all summer and still autumn XCs entered for. I think I was the fussy one who didnt want anyone else riding him and in old age he is mine for keeps--he will never be a quiet ride but we have an understanding. I do understand your point of view---no-one could poss take care of your horse as well as you do but occasionally you have to trust, perhaps you were hurt/ill, far better if someone else has a relationship with your horse now. So pls make the peace asap your Mum may need help with her horse one day.

 

[Bess]

I think GTs made a fair point, it seems very contradictory to say that you think the horse's back isn't right, then to be expressing concern about fees paid to compete versus someone your mum deems capable taking him out for a hack.

 

[Puppy]

My word!! I don't think you're over reacting. My mother often helps with checking my horses (she now rides too, so we share the cost and work) but she wouldn't even think of letting someone else ride them!

However, falling out with your mum is not good, so I guess you guys had better talk it through and sort it out. Best of luck resolving it.

 

[Kelly1982]

I dont think you are over reacting but like the others said its tricky as its your mum.

I went mad as i put loads of work into Ellie to come down the yard one day to find a 13yo girl galloping and jumping her in the field!!

All my hard work getting her to steady at the jumps and use her back end totally down the drain in one session!!!!

I told the owner that if she was going to do that to me after all my hard work then she could stick it!!! Luckily she saw my point of view and hasn't done it since.

maybe you should talk to your mum and say that you can see she was just trying to do you a favour but can she run things past you in future