Am I right to be annoyed about this!?

Suzie86

Suzie86

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Hi everyone, just wondered if I am being an overemotional drama queen or if I am right to get annoyed!! Basically my horse is on loan locally with a lovely family and I'm very happy with the way he is cared for and everything has gone smoothly until now (it's been 2/3 months)

I went to watch them at a show the other week and loaner asked me if I would be able to look after horse for them while they go away for a week. I said I'd love to, be really nice to spend some quality time with him without feeling like I'm treading on their toes, so to speak. I said I would feed their other pony too if she liked save her having to pay someone to do it.

She then messaged me about a week later saying he'd been a bit naughty at a show and asking my advice. I messaged back and at the end said, what date do you go away again, really looking forward to having horse for the week. She didnt reply so I text her few days later asking again what date she is going away, she then replied back saying "oh dont worry about it I didnt think you'd be able to help so I've paid this girl to do them for the week (lunge and feed). I was so angry!!!!! I just dont understand why she would do that!!!

If it makes a difference I'm not over involved - I leave them to get on with things but am always there for support when needed and offered to give her the odd lesson. However they know i love him and miss him and that i love spending time with him!!! Plus they pay someone to lunge him once a week on the day they cant get to the yard despite me offering numerous times - it would help them out, save them money and i am better with the horse!! Another time they went away for the weekend and got some random to look after him - I didnt realise until I drove past some unknown girl hacking down the road!!

I now just feel really confused - why would she rather pay someone that have me help for free?!? And I dont really want randoms caring for my horse when they are away either!! I feel like I may now write this into the loan contract when we renew it!!

Would you be annoyed?? I am now doing him this week but only after telling her she'd really offended me and that I would rather care for my horse myself when they are away.

Sorry about ridiculously long boring whinge!!!
 
It is tricky, unless it is in the loan contract, then I don't see that you have any say over who she gets to do him when they are away. Just down to her really. If you are unhappy about it then why not just have a relaxed chat about it with her, she might think she is saving you hassle rather than taking away a nice opportunity for you? If it is important to you then I would add it to your loan contract, best to have a word with your loaners too so that any misunderstanding can be sorted out and the loan can continue happily.
 
Must have been disapointing for you! :( Maybe she is worried that if you have him back for a week, then you may not want to give him back? If that makes sense :)
 
Why have you loaned him out if you still want part & parcel of this horse? I'd be inclined to give a horse back if the owner was being a bit clingy.

If you can't cope with loaning out a horse, don't do it. It's clearly causing you some stress and I do feel for you. On this occasion I can only say, get over it and get on with things. Or if you still feel this way, have him back because I can't see anywhere that you actually want him loaned out... ??
 
I could never loan out my horse for this reason! I would be overprotective and wanting to be too involved. Having loaned myself, the very last thing I wanted was to see the owner, sorry!

I would take a step back as they have full charge of the horse and leave them alone unless they want your help. It's hard, but as the loaners, I think they should be left to it.
 
Thanks for replies guys. He is out on loan as I have other things I need to spend my money on (ie saving for a house) and I have had him 9 years and felt like I'd achieved all I could with him at a level he was happy at, and as he is now 19 he could do with downgrading a little. He now does PC and very well at local shows, all is good. Like I said I have not been a clingy owner at all I leave them to it completely apart from the occasional visit. I do not tell them what to do or hang around all the time if you know what I mean. However, my issue is that she was the one who asked me to do him in the first place, and I said yes I would love to. I guess maybe she thought she was saving me the hassle but that does seem a bit silly as its a week, he lives out, and I would be going down to feed and take him on 1 or 2 hacks - hardly hassle ;) Would happily have not ridden if she wanted him to have a week off - but she asked me to in the first place then was going to pay this girl to lunge him. She is always asking me to come give her daughter lessons and things like that, I am always willing to help without getting over involved. So I just don't understand her thinking. She knows I am happy with things and that I won't be demanding him back or anything. I just don't understand her thinking behind it, and thats the issue!!
 
I can tell that kind of behaviour has annoyed you, I think I would be too especially as they asked you in the first place - some people :rolleyes:.

I think you need a hug, a cup of tea and a deep breath!

((hugs))

Then, either speak to them when they get back, or just leave them to it to do whatever they want, take a step back then turn around and look the other way :)

You'll drive yourself mad otherwise...
 
I can see where you are coming from......as a loaner- presumably you have made checks on the people who have YOUR horse and are happy with the way they look after him. We are always going on about people keeping tabs on their horses once loaned out.....can't do right really. If you weren't still involved in some way we would be screaming.... 'go check on him- make sure he's ok':confused:

But...I have to say- if I loaned one of mine out....I would be very upset to see a random stranger....who I do not know and have not checked out ......riding around on what would still be MY horse.

Perhaps she may feel that you could ask for him back, if you were to spend time with him?
 
thank you guys :)

yes maybe you are right - I was meant to be abroad but had a change of circumstances so am back! However I have reassured them that I am happy with things and I am not looking to get him back as my financial priorities have changed for the moment! Plus they have a contract too.

I have tried very hard to leave them to it and only get involved at their request or for the occasional check up and cuddle ;) and am not precious about other people riding my horse. I just had been so looking forward to a week of quality time with him, not having him lunged or ridden by randoms!

We are going to chat about it after they get back as don't want this to cause us to be on bad terms at all, but have sorted it so that I will be feeding and exercising my horse whilst this other girl does their other pony. Took my boy for the most amazing hack last night both absolutely loved it :) Just wanted to see if I'm an irrational loony or if everyone else is too ;)

x
 
tallyho! said:
Why have you loaned him out if you still want part & parcel of this horse? I'd be inclined to give a horse back if the owner was being a bit clingy.

If you can't cope with loaning out a horse, don't do it. It's clearly causing you some stress and I do feel for you. On this occasion I can only say, get over it and get on with things. Or if you still feel this way, have him back because I can't see anywhere that you actually want him loaned out... ??
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Agree with this.. Loaner is prob a bit concerned your missing the horse and if you spend a week with it you'll want it back or that their opening the doors to a lot of involvement by you..

I wouldn't be offended, be happy that they've bonded with the horse :)
 
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