Am I right to think this is rude?

PinkSwoon

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Ok so new gelding arrived at the yard yesterday. I had some issues with my field which won't be ready for a few weeks so he's staying at this yard for a few weeks until it's ready & I've never liveried at this yard before. He's stabled so I've been visiting 3 x daily. This morning was my first early morning visit so I arrived & the gate was shut as I was the first one there. I did what I had to do & went to leave, another car was in the carpark but I shut the gate anyway as I thought 'leave it as you find it' - rather be safe than sorry especially as this is a new yard, I have no idea of policies & after all it's only a gate which can easily be opened again.

Anyway went to the yard this afternoon for my second visit, just about to leave when two young boys (probably age 4 & 6) are stood outside my car door, I opened it & asked what was the matter. They said to me 'why did you shut the gate this morning?' So I replied it was shut when I got here. One of them then said 'but why?' I just said it was shut when I got here & can be easily opened again - he boys then repeated what they had said about 3 times clearly not understanding the concept of what I was getting at as obviously they were young so I kindly shut my door & drove off astounded.

Kids will be kids, I know that but I thought the way that they approached me & confronted me that way was down right rude. Parents nowhere to be seen. Half expecting a nuthouse of a pony club mother to have sent them over to ask me as god forbid she had to get out of the 4x4 this morning to open the gate again. I have no time for that bull*****. If that was my child I'd be disgusted & would have sent them back over to apologise as well as apologise myself & introduce myself to the new livery.

No idea how some of you guys who DIY on 10+ horses yards do it.

Thoughts?
 
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Luci07

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You are jumping to an awful lot of conclusions here. Is there a ponyclub mother around? I am not a parent but fairly used to small children and they need no help in finding questions to ask. And "why" is the go to question as well. Breath, don't take offence unecessarily and remember these are just children!
 

PorkChop

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They were only little! That's what young children do, ask lots of questions and repeat :)

Tbh I wouldn't give it another thought, as you won't be there long.
 

Red-1

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I agree with Luci and LJR - kids ask questions! Once my cousin, aged 4, asked my mum why she had Bugs Bunny teeth! No one had set her up for that.

On another note, it is likely that the gate IS usually left open after the first person has arrived. I would find out if this is the case, so you can fit in with yard policy tomorrow.

Personally I prefer yard gates to be shot, but that is another matter entirely!
 

HiPo'sHuman

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Wow!

I have children, they wouldn't pester someone in the first place but if they did I would apologise etc. But come on, they're young kids! They certainly shouldn't be unsupervised but just take a deep breath and chill out. I think your attitude is really quite upsetting I'm afraid. No harm was caused other than you having to 'tolerate' two young boys for a couple of minutes.
 

Kizzy2004

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It wouldn't have bothered me, they're just kids.

They shouldn't have been left unattended but children are inquisitive and ask why a lot I very much doubt the children intended to be rude or confrontational.

Everyone on yards do things differently. Some people do things that I wouldn't do and probably visa versa but I don't interfere or judge people on what they do as its none of my business (provided there is not a welfare issue).

I would have closed the gate and most yards I have been on have this as a rule.
 

stormox

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Theyr kids! 4 and 6 years. Thats what kids do!!! you can hardly say children that young were misbehaving by asking questions. Chill out a bit :)
 

View

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I understand why you shut the gate, and like you would have left how I found it (although if there was no other livery there when I left in the evening I would err on the side safety and shut the gate on leaving).

No, it wasn't rude - it was young children behaving as young children do.
 

Makemineacob

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Perhaps you're expecting the yard to be a hassle and your nerves are ready for the smallest of things? I do agree with leaving things as you find them, especially if you don't know the routine. If you'd had quizzed the children a little they might have told you that the gate is usually left open etc. Why not ask the next person you see what the policy on the gate is. I wouldn't worry about it and get yourself het up about it all. Children are inquisitive and I think we've all had the game of "why" that is asked to everything we explain, might also have been just one of those conversations. Deep breath OP.
 

_GG_

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Are you right to think it's rude? No.

A 4 and 6 year old ask questions, sometimes the kind of questions that, asked by adult would be rude...but at that age, I'd find it quite funny and think no more of it.
 

Antw23uk

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Forget about it BUT don't talk to them again .. erggh!!! I mean why would you, they are kids!!! Next time ignore them and clip them with your wing mirror as you drive out! Awful damn things, errgggggghhh!!!!
 

cobgoblin

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That's just how kids are.....if they ask again why not explain that if a gate is shut when you find it, then it should be shut when you leave it, unless the owner of the gate says otherwise.
 

Bertolie

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Our yard gates are opened by first person on yard in morning and then left open until last person on yard at night locks up. I would find out what the yard policy is so that this doesn't arise again. As for a 4 and 6 year old being rude by asking questions, no that's what kids do! We have one little lad on our yard who follows you around asking questions, you reply and then will get the inevitable "but why......?"! I find it quite cute to be honest 😊
 

WelshD

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I agree with the others, they are only children and probably asked the question independantly, chances are the mum was happy the yard was safe and was happy to re-open the gate

I was bathing my pony earlier and a little boy stopped with his mum to say hello - the first thing out of his mouth was 'is this your pet pony? how much did he cost?' then went on to try and pin me down regarding the amount - the mum looked very embarrassed but we had a good laugh about it
 

peaceandquiet1

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Actually OP I suspect the parent said something to the kids about the gate, as i doubt kids of that age would remember or care if a gate was open or shut unless an adult was bothered about it. So i think it is a little odd, but i would not worry about it unless you get any more questions-and yes I am a parent, and no i would not expect my kids at that age to challenge an adult about a gate being open or shut.
 

Auslander

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I have a son, who was a questioner in his younger days. I used to smile sweetly, and say "Why not?" whenever he started why-bombing me.
 

bluedanube

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Just tell them it's to stop the paedophiles getting in...hehe... I'm sure their mother won't let them out of her site after that...
 

npage123

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At my first livery yard, the son of the yard manager repeatedly told me to speak English every time I had a conversation with him. I was, but he even though he could understand what I was saying perfectly well, he obviously wasn't used to 'foreigners' with a strong overseas accent. That wasn't ever something that I held against him as he was clearly a young boy who hasn't had much to do with 'foreigners'.

However, in a flat that we used to live in ages ago, our (adult) neighbour regularly knocked on our door when she was under the influence of lots of alcohol or other substance abuse, and would just come over to angrily shout at me to 'Go back to the country that you came from!' I never understood the reason for her behaviour, until her partner once knocked on our door to apologise for her behaviour, and explained that she was irritated that she was often replacing a hallway light which kept breaking, and annoyed that we never changed the bulb. I never knew that it was them that replaced the bulb. I assumed it was the landlord. Since then, I made a point of regularly checking the bulb and replaced it as soon as it broke. She never really accepted us but at least she stopped shouting at us to leave the country.
 
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MuddyMonster

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I wouldn't worry about it. As others have said, I suspect they were just kids being well, kids!

To be honest, if you are new to a large livery yard, I find for your own sanity its far easier to not worry about a lot but your own horse :)
 

sarahann1

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Oh dear OP, you'd have hated the yard I'm at a few years back, one of the kids went through a proper 'why?' phase, constantly asking, I mean constantly.

We all smiled and got on with it, answered his questions and we all got really good at twisting the conversations round to distract him :)
 

Mongoose11

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Odd that you were so upset by such young children who didn't say anything rude or inappropriate. Perhaps they had heard their mother say 'I wonder why that lady closed the gate, I must let her know she doesn't need to.' or similar.

Weird.

Went back for another read and I'm 'astounded' to read that you felt 'confronted' by a four year old. Maybe it's not the yard that's the issue ;)
 
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Princess16

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Ok so new gelding arrived at the yard yesterday. I had some issues with my field which won't be ready for a few weeks so he's staying at this yard for a few weeks until it's ready & I've never liveried at this yard before. He's stabled so I've been visiting 3 x daily. This morning was my first early morning visit so I arrived & the gate was shut as I was the first one there. I did what I had to do & went to leave, another car was in the carpark but I shut the gate anyway as I thought 'leave it as you find it' - rather be safe than sorry especially as this is a new yard, I have no idea of policies & after all it's only a gate which can easily be opened again.

Anyway went to the yard this afternoon for my second visit, just about to leave when two young boys (probably age 4 & 6) are stood outside my car door, I opened it & asked what was the matter. They said to me 'why did you shut the gate this morning?' So I replied it was shut when I got here. One of them then said 'but why?' I just said it was shut when I got here & can be easily opened again - he boys then repeated what they had said about 3 times clearly not understanding the concept of what I was getting at as obviously they were young so I kindly shut my door & drove off astounded.

Kids will be kids, I know that but I thought the way that they approached me & confronted me that way was down right rude. Parents nowhere to be seen. Half expecting a nuthouse of a pony club mother to have sent them over to ask me as god forbid she had to get out of the 4x4 this morning to open the gate again. I have no time for that bull*****. If that was my child I'd be disgusted & would have sent them back over to apologise as well as apologise myself & introduce myself to the new livery.

No idea how some of you guys who DIY on 10+ horses yards do it.

Thoughts?
Good grief woman take a chill pill - they are children and amazingly that's what children do - be inquisitive. You were a child once :D
 

webble

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In defence of OP whilst I wouldn't feel the need to post on here I would be annoyed and find children doing that rude. If it was long term I would look for an adult only yard as children aren't always well supervised at yards OP
 

peaceandquiet1

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Am surprised that people feel it is ok for small children to approach people they don't know and confront them, where was the parent, I still feel it is odd that they were concerned about a gate being open or shut at their age and while I am not sure they were "rude" I would prefer they were being more adequately supervised in that kind of environment.
 
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