am I the most selfish person ever?

[hackedoff]

my pony is a veteran (19 now) but very fit, hale and hearty. he happily does 1 - 3 hour hacks up and over our peaks. I really , really want to do some shorter (!) long distance rides next year to get his 1000 competative mile rossette (hs ia 100or so of the total), But we are sooo short of money as a family as husband was made redundant earlir in the year, I have a 5 year old son and huge mortgage.

if I do long distance rides I either need to buy a light weight trailer (car cant tow an ivor willaims but will tow a bateson derby or similiar) or hire a self drive box and I reckon either way a years rides at one per month will cost about £150 (pro rata trailer pp, or 1 self drive day hire plus fuel and entry fees). The alternative is to keep doing long hacks and compete at local dressage which isnt really my ponys thing but at least I will be doing something!

Am I mega selfish? The riding keeps me sane.

 

[indiat]

I can understand your frustration, but you have listed a number of reasons why you can't spend any money at the mo. Now is a bad time to be looking for a job, things might improve for your husband in the new year. Why don't you just take it month to month rather than thinking "That's it for another year?". The situation could be very different by february and you won't feel any guilt.

 

[turkana]

Being short of money is horrible but I wouldn't be doing the rides at the moment if I was you.
I love hunting & fun rides but haven't done any since the spring as I can't justify the money.
You're just thinking about if it's possible, nothing selfish about that!
Is your husband likely to find another job soon? If he does then it might be possible to do some rides.
Have you got any friends you could club togther with to hire a box & do some fun rides, that might be a bit cheaper.

 

[Annagain]

When you say you are short of money, how short are you in reality? Would the £150 a month just mean that you would have to shop at Lidl instead of Tesco or would it put you in danger of losing your home etc? If it's the former and your husband doesn't mind then it might be ok, but if it's the latter then the ling distance rides will have to take a back seat.
Could you try to find somebody with transport who also goes along to these rides and get a lift in return for a share of the costs? That might make it a bit cheaper?

 

[poppypiebald]

I presume if your husband is out of work and you have a huge mortgage that you are the current bread winner? If it was the other way round, men are always quick to justify an 'extravagance' by saying they've 'earnt it'. Us women (broadly speaking) always feel we haven't.

I'd do some research on who might be travelling to the same event and cadge a lift. If of course you have a pony that will travel with relative strangers without being either attacker or attacked.

Why not start a small change jar - it's amazing how it adds up if you use one instead of dropping money found in pockets when you're doing the laundry into your purse.

 

[Lucy_Nottingham]

waht about trying to see if anyone in your local area are going to it? or would be willing to help you out (for a smaller fee) in terms of getting there?

 

[Mithras]

I hardly think you are selfish! Why on earth shouldn't you enjoy doing something like ldr? Should your life only be work, looking after your family, etc - I don't think so. Remember you can have a trailer downrated to be towed with a family sized car if you only intend to take one smallish horse - I had my IW505 downrated to 1800kg by my local dealer - cost me less than £50 and simply involved having a plate put on it. This opens up virtually the whole second hand trailer market to you. It can be uprated at any time but means I can legally tow with my Mercedes Saloon. You can have it downrated lower than this. (its also for sale as I'm so selfish I am having a 3.5 ton box built for me lol!)

 

[0ldmare]

Like Lucy_Nottingham says, do you know anyone or could you get to know anyone who also does these rides? Then you could go together and share the travel costs. (And no, you arent selfish!)

 

[Kat]

Why not contact your local endurance group and see if there are any people who you could hitch a ride with? That would save you having to buy a box which is going to be the biggest barrier.

You could sell you existing box to raise funds for entrance fees and buy a new one when things are a bit more stable.

Then go on www.moneysavingexpert.com and look for lots of money saving tips. If you can cut back in other areas then you can fund the endurance riding.

Set yourself savings targets and only do the ride if you hit your target for the month before as an incentive and also so your family know that you are taking the situation into account.