Am I wrong....

[DosyMare]

So my current yard has turned into a bitching ground - everyone moaning and whining about everything and everyone.
We have a professional eventer who has horses in for breaking and schooling all the time. The woman is lovely enough but breaks the rules.
Some include liveries not being able to use the ménage because she is riding a horse not even from the yard, turning horses out over night because she doesn't have enough stables (we do not have 24/7 t/o), stealing the yard owners wood from his wood shed for personal use at home and other things.
We have rules as well which apply to some but not others.

Anyway tonight I spoke to the yard owner (OAP) and told him I thought he was being taken advantage off. He then spoke to the yard manager who told the liverie exactly want I said.
This resulted in her confronting me when I finished riding and screaming in my face. I tired to explain my view that I felt she was taking the piss - to which she denied all. Out right lying. When I looked to the yard manager for support she called my a **** stirrer! And suggested I leave the yard.

So looks like I'll be spending my weekend in search of somewhere to move. I don't want to move because I like the yard, horse is settled, i share another horse there and get on well with the other liveries and also don't think I'm in the wrong but also I now don't want to be there.

I cried all the way home and feel so guilty, massive headache now. What would you do?

 

[cheeryplatypus]

I think you did the right thing by the OAP owner. If you still feel you did the morally right thing then just carry on like it never happened. Turning a blind eye, especially to the theft of his wood, is the same as saying the behaviour is acceptable, which clearly it isn't!

I feel sorry for your situation.

Hopefully things will blow over in time.

 

[Fii]

I dont know, looks like you have got yourself into a right pickle!
How did you know that she didnt have permission to do these things?
Not very helpful, but sounds like you should have minded your own business, and just kept your head down!

 

[smellsofhorse]

Speak to yo and ym.
Explain you are not stirrings but telling them your observations, and its not fair people arnt treated the same.

It annoys me then people take the p.
But sometimes its better to stay out of it.

 

[soulfull]

So sorry hun but it always ends the same. I have been there myself and done it and ended up getting the blame and leaving
Now I keep quiet in my case the last twice the YM eventually noticed and it was dealt with and I didnt have to do anything

So now unless things affect me or my horse I keep very quiet


Such as shame as you did do the right thing

 

[JFTDWS]

Where abouts are you?

There are some nutters running yards round here

 

[SophieLouBee]

You sound like me if I was on a yard, sucks to have a conscience and morals right!?

I think, from observing 'herd behaviour' , the group will usually follow the 'superior' or the one who seems that way (We have a duck who has one leg and can't fly or dabble, but the ladies love him and he's top of the pecking order ), thus, any outsider who challenges the 'superior' will either be pushed out by all members or, be assigned as the new leader depending on the outcome. Make of that what you will!

Stick to your guns and morals, carry on as normal and if people start asking 'what your problem is', calmly explain what exactly your problem is in the rational manner that you are blessed with. Maybe people will start to realise it might benefit them in some way, like, being able to use the menage and having nicer turnout paddocks, just maybe! People are selfish naturally, so when this dawns on them, they should see the light.

If you can't bare to wait until then, leave the buggers to figure it out themselves and go somewhere where they have already figured 'it' out!

 

[DosyMare]

This is a yard up near Witham (i find it hard to find a yard that will take a colt) but I might end up in Roxwell by the end of the weekend

I know she didn't have permission, no one is allowed 24/7 turnout at the moment - its because she has more horses than stables. All the yard gossiping about it. The yard owner is such a nice old man, he doesn't invoice people just expects people to be honest about how much hay and straw they use etc. Hence why people take the mick.
She often told other liveries - that the yard owner hasn't a clue what she does or how many horses she has.

I wish I had turned a blind eye.

 

[soulfull]

Why stick you nose in? it's never a good idea to get involved in cases like this.

oh that is lovely, why couldn't you say it in a nice way? you probably learned the hard way at some point so why be nasty about a mistake most of us make at some point whether it be in general life or our horsey life. oh and i see it is your 4th post, what a way to make friends. HHO doesn't need people like you

 

[Tinsel Town]

aw poor you. you did the right thing speaking to the YO, however its not your fault that the yard manager cant be diplimatic enough to constructively have a conversation with this woman about problems that the whole yard knows about. YM should not have brought you into it and should have dealt with it professionaly.
I would either; keep your head down till it blows over, or have a word with both the YM and this woman seperatley and explain that you simply were raising concerns that you and other liveries have. Also if you are happy at this yard (normally) why should you have to move! you enjoy it there, and you follow the rules! hope its sorted out soon

 

[JFTDWS]

This is a yard up near Witham (i find it hard to find a yard that will take a colt) but I might end up in Roxwell by the end of the weekend

Good luck

You may see my hairy beasts out and about then

 

[Dolcé]

If you are definitely going to have to move I would be tempted to burn your bridges and go back to the owner. Tell him how disappointed you are that you have been kicked off by the YM just because you tried to protect the YO's interests and stop this person taking the pi**. I would stir up such a hornets nest before I left just out of spite, but maybe the YO would actually back you up and deal with it properly.

 

[rockysmum]

If you are definitely going to have to move I would be tempted to burn your bridges and go back to the owner. Tell him how disappointed you are that you have been kicked off by the YM just because you tried to protect the YO's interests and stop this person taking the pi**. I would stir up such a hornets nest before I left just out of spite, but maybe the YO would actually back you up and deal with it properly.

I agree, nothing to loose now. Stir up the other owners a bit too. Sounds like the Yard Manager is part of the problem, she must know about the 24/7 turnout, using the school etc. Perhaps the YO needs to know about her too.

 

[Fii]

This is a yard up near Witham (i find it hard to find a yard that will take a colt) but I might end up in Roxwell by the end of the weekend

I know she didn't have permission, no one is allowed 24/7 turnout at the moment - its because she has more horses than stables. All the yard gossiping about it. The yard owner is such a nice old man, he doesn't invoice people just expects people to be honest about how much hay and straw they use etc. Hence why people take the mick.
She often told other liveries - that the yard owner hasn't a clue what she does or how many horses she has.

I wish I had turned a blind eye.

I take it the YM knows how many horses she has though, so its not just her fault, she cant squeeze all her horses in if there isnt any more stables, so some will have to be out!
Is the YM on the take then??
All these posts about livery yards makes me so glad i am not on one!!

 

[Pearlsasinger]

If you are definitely going to have to move I would be tempted to burn your bridges and go back to the owner. Tell him how disappointed you are that you have been kicked off by the YM just because you tried to protect the YO's interests and stop this person taking the pi**. I would stir up such a hornets nest before I left just out of spite, but maybe the YO would actually back you up and deal with it properly.

I agree, nothing to loose now. Stir up the other owners a bit too. Sounds like the Yard Manager is part of the problem, she must know about the 24/7 turnout, using the school etc. Perhaps the YO needs to know about her too.

I take it the YM knows how many horses she has though, so its not just her fault, she cant squeeze all her horses in if there isnt any more stables, so some will have to be out!
Is the YM on the take then??
All these posts about livery yards makes me so glad i am not on one!!

I agree. You should go back to YO and explain that YM has asked you to leave. If YO has any relatives who are at all interested/available, I'd approach them too and let them know that he is being taken advantage of.

 

[Marydoll]

I take it the YM knows how many horses she has though, so its not just her fault, she cant squeeze all her horses in if there isnt any more stables, so some will have to be out!
Is the YM on the take then??
All these posts about livery yards makes me so glad i am not on one!!

Id say this sounds a likely scenario, it sounds like the 2 of them are taking the p
And being less than honest. Is there other liveries who back up your version ?
Ask them to stand with you, have a neeting with yo, ym and all liveries.
If it helps great, if not, youre already looking elsewhere.
I feel really sorry for you, i bloomin hate livery yards, the only ones that run well are the ones where everyones interests are managed in a fair way, not necessarily the same way, but fairly.
And the person hogging the school is effectively running a business within the yard using the facilities, prioritising herself first, i find it odd she's not been lynched by people ! The yard manager isnt doing her job allowing this to continue

 

[DosyMare]

Thanks guys. It's all calmed down now but I haven't seen her. But I've also got a stable lined up if I do go. I'm just disappointed.

YM is very relaxed. But I think I should be careful about what I say - lesson learnt.

The horses in question (turniut wise) do not belong to her, they are just there for schooling and then either returned or sold. They change weekly. I understand it's her business but if you don't have the stables then don't take on the work. And if it's just a one of them ask permission first - don't sneak your horses down the field when everyone has left!