An awful decision- Your opinions please to help.

McNally

McNally

Well-Known Member
Joined
24 February 2009
Messages
1,579
Visit site
Ok first a quick bit of background info, Pony is 20+ yrs old and suffers with a summer cough and severe breathing issues.
We have tried everything but basicly previous owners didnt treat for years and now her lungs are damaged aswell.
Ventipulmin does nothing she is currently on Prednisolene and it helped at first she is now coughing quite a lot again (still on it tho') Her breathing is not bad at the moment just the cough- If she was on no med she would be almost literally unable to breathe.
Come Sept/Oct she will improve but the Prednisolene was the very last option/chance- we probably wont get her through another summer.
Baring in mind she is seriously ill from the end of May to sometime in September I am considering having her PTS.
Now the thing is i dont know wether i should wait, keep her until next summer and have it done before she gets ill or should i save her another winter and do it now?
We love her very very much and my heart says keep her for the winter but then my head says winter is miserable for her- she either lives out in a small muddy paddock with hay and company or lives in 24/7 my choice but nothing much inbetween offered at yard.
She dislikes rain and lived in last year which she seemed happy with but i'm not happy keeping her in all the time and chances are she wont get a huge amount of excercise (currently unrideable but should be ok in winter)

Whats you lots opinions here? I am just finding it a hard decision, I will be speaking to my Y/O and friends etc aswell as her real owner (she is on loan) but i need help here!!
 
Oh should also say, she is a happy enough lively to ride pony when she is fit enough to hack out, she's not miserable or really suffering.

Also if it makes any difference she recently lost a lot of her eyesight- she is adjusting well though and it doesnt seem to bother her too much anymore- just needs a bit or re-assurance now and then.
 
My vet said similar I asked his advice and he said "some owners need to be told but he was sure i would make the right choice alone"
I guess its a complement in a way but I cant decide!

She is such a lovely girl (even if she did boot my horse today!) and i think i should do it then someone tells me how great she is looking????????????
 
IME horses can and do decide when they're ready to "go", and I think your little mare will let you know when she's ready. Sorry that's not much in the way of guidance but you're obviously in touch with her and "reading" her pretty well at the mo, so personally I'd keep myself open for her to "tell" you when she's ready (and she will).

Bless you, what a lovely owner you are to think of her like this. Its never easy to decide on what to do, and its awful looking at any animal and knowing that your'e counting the months/weeks/days, but she will let you know when its right, for sure.
 
Phew!! Panic! Thought it was my old pony who is out on loan, with problems exactly as you've described. We put her out on loan rather than keep her for my nephew because the vet suggested moving her to see if it was to do with the area she was in. She moved from our estate in the middle of nowhere, with nothing but setaside around her, to a much much more urban yard, and the breathing problems are now completely manageable... not cured, but improved to the extent where she can be ridden all summer now!

Maybe a yard move?
 
I had my much older pony put down a couple of weeks ago, I'd had him 29 years :( He was still sound, in fact jumped the hedge out the field they day before but he also suffered with his breathing in the summer although not anything like you describe - more a pollen allergy. He went because I wanted him to go before I was forced into the decision and while he was still happy and sound (he was 44). He had got very difficult to keep weight on though. I would just never have forgiven myself if he'd got miserable or went down one day and couldn't get up. I know many people would have kept going with him for perhaps several years longer though. For me, and I believe him I made the right decision but every circumstance is different and I think you have to weigh it up yourself. FWIW my pony certainly didn't know anything about it and he went a very old, happy pony who had been very much loved all his life :)
 
Thank you myjodsare2tite (sp?? sorry!) thats really sweet of you too say!

Lizzie, I'm sorry about your horse- It sounds like you def did the best thing, I lost my old pony a few years back aged not far off yours- I was about to make the decision for him whilst he was not too bad like you but sadly he coliced and it was out of my hands- however that does put another perspective on it and something else to think about so thank you x

Starzaan- thats really interesting, I did hear about another pony with a similar allergy who went to live by the coast and instantly improved- As you will know we are pretty much arable central round this area so its virtually impossible to find a yard away from crops and even then it could be grass pollen??
I hope your pony is ok. (oh and your yard sound amazing- I am willing to move 2 there if your offering a free trial ;-) ......)

Any other opinions on this?
 
We have made the decision that our old lady will be 'going' in October, she has lost a lot of muscle, is miserable in bad weather and has had two episodes of choke in the last month, which seems to stem from a 'lump' in her throat. The episodes of choke appear to cause a lack of blood to the brain, meaning she staggers and looks like she is going down. We do not think it is fair to make her carry on through the winter, possibly going down on a bad/wet day. So like you we are trying to make the best decision for our oldie.
 
Bless you, Why have you chosen October? Do you think it unfair to put her through another winter when there is really no need?
 
Thanks haha- In a way its a good thing but all decisions are up to me, her owner has not seen her for years and years and although i do text her updates she is not interested at all really- she has her own life and is very busy, the pony used to be ridden by her daughter who gave up many years ago, I took her on because i felt sorry for the little mare left in the field for 5 year with no feed, rain scald and mud fever (someone was supposed to be keeping an eye on her!) then found out she was actually fab to ride aswell so contacted the owner and made if official!

The decision will be entirely my own in the end but i will of course speak to the owner before its made.

Thank you xx
 
McNally said:
Thanks haha- In a way its a good thing but all decisions are up to me, her owner has not seen her for years and years and although i do text her updates she is not interested at all really- she has her own life and is very busy, the pony used to be ridden by her daughter who gave up many years ago, I took her on because i felt sorry for the little mare left in the field for 5 year with no feed, rain scald and mud fever (someone was supposed to be keeping an eye on her!) then found out she was actually fab to ride aswell so contacted the owner and made if official!

The decision will be entirely my own in the end but i will of course speak to the owner before its made.

Thank you xx
Click to expand...

I would speak to the owner now. They may act like they're not interested but it's amazing how many owners suddenly come crawling out the woodwork as soon as you mention taking the horse away from them, by any means. It might be best to put their minds to the idea now, rather than spring it on them later. Even a little thing like 'I'm wondering how well she'll cope with winter/next summer' might help ease the blow.

I'm afraid I can't give you any advice but echo what others have said; you'll know when it is time.
 
When I was wrestling with the decision about Pickle someone said to me "are you asking my advice bcause deep down you know the answer & need someone to tell you it's ok?". I think that is often true. I get the impression you don't think you pony will have a great quality of life over winter.
If you wait your pony will have to cope with the mud & the cold, albeit their breathing will be better. You will have it hanging over you. I only waited a couple of weeks before I made the arrangements - I wanted my son's A Level exams out of the way before I told him & it's 2 weeks I would really not want to live through again.
 
its hard to say what you should do, but how do you think she will winter? as i know if it was my old boy he hated winter!! and didnt like to keep he's weight on. but if your old girl will winter ok and her eye sight isnt going to be to much of a problem in the long dark nights, then maybe keeping her going over the winter wont be too bad for her.

I personally cant do the im going to wait until date X then im having horse pts the waiting would drive me mad if i have made the decision then it needs to be done asap. but everyone is different.

If it was my old boy i wouldnt wait, but you know your girl and situation best.

I know its hard when they look really well all mine have gone when they were looking their best.
 
We have the vet coming this morning to confirm my thoughts that our 35 year old boy needs to be PTS before the bad weather arrives.

We let his old owners know (he came to us 3 years ago as they had had him since he was a baby and couldn't face the end....fair enough...!) and they called last night and said thanks for letting them know, yes, go ahead and they insist on paying the vets bill, which is good of them, I told them we didn't expect them to, but they would like him cremated so they can have him at home....awwwwww! So I said I would arrange it all....sooner the better they said, once the vet has been.....

We got him through last winter amazingly...he did quite well, but this last month the weight has dropped off and he looks awful, we tried in vain to get some flesh back on him, to no avail...

Poor little chap, we knew this is what would happen when we got him, but I'm glad we had his company for 3 years, he's such a little sweetie, and he came to us as grumpy as anything!

We are thinking Monday if it can be arranged....my husband can get the day off then....and we can have the weekend with him, to spoil him rotten!

The last thing I want...is to find him in a muddy patch on a freezing wet day, unable to get up, so this is why I want to get it done now, before he suffers even more now the weight is gone...

It's a tough call, and not the first time I've made it....we've had two oldies before, and made this choice for them both, and each time, although it certainly doesn't get easier, we always know it's done for the good of the horse in question, and the end has always been dignified...
 
McNally said:
Thanks haha- In a way its a good thing but all decisions are up to me, her owner has not seen her for years and years and although i do text her updates she is not interested at all really- she has her own life and is very busy, the pony used to be ridden by her daughter who gave up many years ago, I took her on because i felt sorry for the little mare left in the field for 5 year with no feed, rain scald and mud fever (someone was supposed to be keeping an eye on her!) then found out she was actually fab to ride aswell so contacted the owner and made if official!

The decision will be entirely my own in the end but i will of course speak to the owner before its made.

Thank you xx
Click to expand...

Your welcome. But I would still stress although you have the final say, before you do have her pts (if that's the way you go) be aware that if they came back at you and said you were not the owner!!! They could sue you I think as you say you are only the Loanee?
 
DragonSlayer said:
We have the vet coming this morning to confirm my thoughts that our 35 year old boy needs to be PTS before the bad weather arrives.

We let his old owners know (he came to us 3 years ago as they had had him since he was a baby and couldn't face the end....fair enough...!) and they called last night and said thanks for letting them know, yes, go ahead and they insist on paying the vets bill, which is good of them, I told them we didn't expect them to, but they would like him cremated so they can have him at home....awwwwww! So I said I would arrange it all....sooner the better they said, once the vet has been.....

We got him through last winter amazingly...he did quite well, but this last month the weight has dropped off and he looks awful, we tried in vain to get some flesh back on him, to no avail...

Poor little chap, we knew this is what would happen when we got him, but I'm glad we had his company for 3 years, he's such a little sweetie, and he came to us as grumpy as anything!

We are thinking Monday if it can be arranged....my husband can get the day off then....and we can have the weekend with him, to spoil him rotten!

The last thing I want...is to find him in a muddy patch on a freezing wet day, unable to get up, so this is why I want to get it done now, before he suffers even more now the weight is gone...

It's a tough call, and not the first time I've made it....we've had two oldies before, and made this choice for them both, and each time, although it certainly doesn't get easier, we always know it's done for the good of the horse in question, and the end has always been dignified...
Click to expand...

I made the same decision for the same reasons a month ago,
McNally, you should call the owner. But if it was my pony i wouldnt take her through the winter.
 
(((((hugs))))) McNally My heart goes out to you.
Sorry if you already know my story but,
I have recently had to make this awful choice for my beloved Lucy :( :( :(
She was diagnosed with a very rare illness in Nov last year and the vets gave her a less than 50% chance and said most owners put there horses down as soon as they are diagnosed. I knew Lucy wasn't ready to give up just yet. She was a tough little pony and as i had owned her for 12 years i knew her inside out. The vets let me try to help her but said she prob wouldn't make it passed xmas. In Jan i forfilled a 12 year dream and took Lucy to the beach, She had a few set backs but everytime i knew she wasn't ready to give up and i helped her fight on. At the end of May We did a 14 mile sponsoured ride in the new forest Lucy loved every second of it and kept bucking and trying to take off in canter (when all i wanted to do was walk). In July I went on Holiday leaving her in the capable hands of my friend. I had been away for a few days and i recieved the worst phonecall of my life. Lucys condition had gone down hill very fast. She had lost lots of weight and was going wobbly on her back legs. Although I wasn't there i knew it was time to let my wonderful angel go. My vet said she wasn't suffering and they could try to get her to wait till i got back in another week but i just knew i couldn't ask that of my darling Lucy. If i had it would have made everything about me and it has always been about her. So on the 3rd of july Lucys struggle was over. :(
I guess what i'm trying to say is you care so much for this pony you will just know when the time is right and they do realy tell you when they've had enough.
I would have sold my soul to have had the chance to say goodbye to Lucy and still feel guilty that i wasn't there for her when she needed me, but I know i did the very best thing i could for her there was no way she could have waited she would have started to suffer if she had. :(:(
I hope this is of some help. Please PM me if you need someone to talk to. I know you don't know me but i'm always here if you need me. More (((((hugs)))) to you and your lovely mare.
 
Would it be feasible for you to find another yard for her which was more suited to her requirements. It sounds like managing her problems is key, and it might be easier if you could have the sort of arrangments which suited her needs, as it doesn't sound like your current place is necessarily providing what she needs even if it suits you and your other horses. I know that might create other problems though but maybe worth thinking about.
 
No I cant move yards.
It would have to be too far away- I mean i think the only possible place would be by the coast somewhere and thats hours away.
Also my vet has said she went untreated for so long the damage to her lungs is irriversable now.
I had almost considered talking to the owner about giving her away to someone who lives by the sea but its very unlikely it will make any difference at this point and it also seems like palming her off on someone else??

Laura- you made me cry! (((o)))) to you. I lost my beloved old boy a few years back after 18yrs together- Its really hard- It sounds like Lucy had a wonderful end of her life thanks to you! xx
 
McNally said:
Bless you, Why have you chosen October? Do you think it unfair to put her through another winter when there is really no need?
Click to expand...


We have decided on October because that way, if we are lucky we might get an 'Indian summer' of sunshine for her last few weeks, it is the half-term holiday so I (a teacher) will be at home, YorksG (my sister) will take time off work. The other horses will be coming in the following weekend for Bonfire Night, unless the weather is glorious. It will be the third time we have done exactly this. The first time we just had a couple of weeks notice, following vet's advice with an old mare with a bad heart and the second was our beloved Appaloosa who had arthritis and had been on bute for a few years. She had deteriorated over the wet summer and it was obvious that she would suffer in the winter, we were fortunate that we had the best 2 months weather all year from August to October. It is always a difficult decision and particularly so in this instance as this mare is the only surviving animal that we brought with us when we moved here 16 years ago.
Our thinking is that the last thing we can do for them is to make sure that they go with dignity before their quality of life is compromised -it's always a kind of juggling act.

ETA
The vet has already told us that she has a weak heart, she had a week-long colic which really pulled her down a few years ago and was retired following this. She has plenty of covering over her ribs but has no weight/muscle anywhere else. She isn't able to chew as well as she used to and in spite of having soaked food she has had 2 nasty episodes of choke recently. We live in a very exposed area, the other horses are now tending to push her to the very edge of available shelter and we feel that we owe it to her.
 
Last edited:
I really would call it a day before the winter. I know it is really hard, but you will have done the right thing by your pony. It is worse to wait too long and then have the decision taken out of your hands because it has got too bad. We all hate having them pts but it is the one thing we can do for them and we must never be selfish about it. Good luck with your decision.
 
huntley said:
I really would call it a day before the winter. I know it is really hard, but you will have done the right thing by your pony. It is worse to wait too long and then have the decision taken out of your hands because it has got too bad. We all hate having them pts but it is the one thing we can do for them and we must never be selfish about it. Good luck with your decision.
Click to expand...

Exactly this.
The fact that you are asking at all, means that you (or your subconscious) know that it's time. Otherwise, if she was fit and healthy and happy, it wouldn't be an issue.
 
I go with huntley, if it's going to be another bad winter and she has bad breathing problems, it wouldn't be fair to her. Ring the owners and ask them what they want for her.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top