AmiRobertson
Well-Known Member
I have just realised that I started posting on her without ever introducing myself. Thats probably quite rude, so I thought I would do a little introduction now!
I am Ami I am 26 and I grew up on a farm in Devon. From the ages of 10-16 horses were my love and passion. Unfortunately I found boys and drinking more interesting from 16 upwards and wound up leaving home then as well!
Then followed 10 years of travelling, surfing, snowboarding, a variety of mishaps (including being stuck in deepest darkest europe with my cocker spaniel and a passport chewed up by said dog and no money. Long story) endless moving, a problem with drugs, bad relationships and some stark raving mad bosses who destroyed my confidence and made my life hell.
2 years ago I moved to London after discovering my passion for photography and deciding that that was what I wanted to do with my life. I decided to be a live in au pair so I wouldn't have to pay london rent and I would have the time to build my business! Plus I love working with children. It didn't quite work out that way and after a few months it became very apparent that I was living and working for another lunatic. Of course by this point I was completely in love with the children and didn't want to leave them. The other side of the coin was with the pittance she was paying me I couldn't afford to leave so I was trapped. So ploughing on with my photography was my only way out! It was going well though and I was getting recognised and wedding bookings were flowing in.
A few days before xmas I had a phone call from my oldest and dearest friend she was hysterical and told me that her brother in a fit of madness had been walking with his friend up on the cliffs in Devon and had announced to his friend that he could jump this and ran off the edge. We will never know why he did this which made the following month one of the hardest I have ever faced. My way of dealing with it was to care for his family who had always been there for me when I needed them. I forgot to grieve myself as my focus was them and getting them through this. Watching his mum cry everyday and desperately trying to find something to blame for the loss of her son was heartbreaking. Eventually I returned to London. I was greeted by my boss with the phrase "your friends death was an inconvenience to my schedule" She then ranted for half an hour about how selfish I was and how I never put her and her children first. When she finished she asked what I had to say for myself and she got "Go ****** yourself I quit" 18 months I looked after her children!!! I was raging!
I somehow managed to find the money to move and found a wonderful house in brixton. I left and found myself a part time child care job for the most wonderful family who I am still with now.
I went on a bit of a rampage here having still not grieved properly I was drinking heavily again and behaving like a bit of a slag trying to find something that made me happy. My business somehow was still going strong and I was ploughing hours of work into learning about website design and marketing.
The drinking came to a head sometime in July this year where I had a fallout with some friends while out in central London. I had a massive tantrum and decided to walk home in the rain. I was on an emotional downhill spiral. Feeling generally sorry for myself and trying to work out exactly what it was that made me happy and felt that I couldn't find anything there was a big hole and I felt stupid because I had a good family and good friends. I stood by westminster bridge for 20mins that night contemplating what it would feel like to jump off and let go. The only thing that stopped me was watching what my friends family had been through when he had jumped.
The next day I quit drinking and haven't touched it since.
A week after that incident one of my clients who knew I used to ride asked me if I wanted to have lessons on her thoroughbred mare. I said yes. Getting back in the saddle was the most amazing feeling in the world. And I was good at it! My first lesson back her dressage instructor announced that we need to find me my own horse! That night I was searching with the intent of it taking a good few months to find the one. I managed to secure a place at the livery yard my friend was at and me and her quickly bonded over our love of these wonderful animals. Life was starting to feel good again.
After a failed vetting and several failed viewings I met dizzy. She was the complete opposite of what I wanted, a mare for a start, 4 years old and freshly broken
I wanted a gelding between 6-10 with some life experience! But when I sat on her I felt like we could do anything we wanted and after a second viewing and a passed vetting she arrived!
She has been here a month and a half now. I am moving house to be closer to her, life has improved greatly that hole is filled and I am thriving on the challenge of her stubborn yet spirited and affectionate personality. I have been treating her stable as my office and sit with her doing my editing and feeling content! Life is good again and I am incredibly lucky! If you ahd told me this time last year I would be where I am now I would tell you 'you are mad!'
I am Ami I am 26 and I grew up on a farm in Devon. From the ages of 10-16 horses were my love and passion. Unfortunately I found boys and drinking more interesting from 16 upwards and wound up leaving home then as well!
Then followed 10 years of travelling, surfing, snowboarding, a variety of mishaps (including being stuck in deepest darkest europe with my cocker spaniel and a passport chewed up by said dog and no money. Long story) endless moving, a problem with drugs, bad relationships and some stark raving mad bosses who destroyed my confidence and made my life hell.
2 years ago I moved to London after discovering my passion for photography and deciding that that was what I wanted to do with my life. I decided to be a live in au pair so I wouldn't have to pay london rent and I would have the time to build my business! Plus I love working with children. It didn't quite work out that way and after a few months it became very apparent that I was living and working for another lunatic. Of course by this point I was completely in love with the children and didn't want to leave them. The other side of the coin was with the pittance she was paying me I couldn't afford to leave so I was trapped. So ploughing on with my photography was my only way out! It was going well though and I was getting recognised and wedding bookings were flowing in.
A few days before xmas I had a phone call from my oldest and dearest friend she was hysterical and told me that her brother in a fit of madness had been walking with his friend up on the cliffs in Devon and had announced to his friend that he could jump this and ran off the edge. We will never know why he did this which made the following month one of the hardest I have ever faced. My way of dealing with it was to care for his family who had always been there for me when I needed them. I forgot to grieve myself as my focus was them and getting them through this. Watching his mum cry everyday and desperately trying to find something to blame for the loss of her son was heartbreaking. Eventually I returned to London. I was greeted by my boss with the phrase "your friends death was an inconvenience to my schedule" She then ranted for half an hour about how selfish I was and how I never put her and her children first. When she finished she asked what I had to say for myself and she got "Go ****** yourself I quit" 18 months I looked after her children!!! I was raging!
I somehow managed to find the money to move and found a wonderful house in brixton. I left and found myself a part time child care job for the most wonderful family who I am still with now.
I went on a bit of a rampage here having still not grieved properly I was drinking heavily again and behaving like a bit of a slag trying to find something that made me happy. My business somehow was still going strong and I was ploughing hours of work into learning about website design and marketing.
The drinking came to a head sometime in July this year where I had a fallout with some friends while out in central London. I had a massive tantrum and decided to walk home in the rain. I was on an emotional downhill spiral. Feeling generally sorry for myself and trying to work out exactly what it was that made me happy and felt that I couldn't find anything there was a big hole and I felt stupid because I had a good family and good friends. I stood by westminster bridge for 20mins that night contemplating what it would feel like to jump off and let go. The only thing that stopped me was watching what my friends family had been through when he had jumped.
The next day I quit drinking and haven't touched it since.
A week after that incident one of my clients who knew I used to ride asked me if I wanted to have lessons on her thoroughbred mare. I said yes. Getting back in the saddle was the most amazing feeling in the world. And I was good at it! My first lesson back her dressage instructor announced that we need to find me my own horse! That night I was searching with the intent of it taking a good few months to find the one. I managed to secure a place at the livery yard my friend was at and me and her quickly bonded over our love of these wonderful animals. Life was starting to feel good again.
After a failed vetting and several failed viewings I met dizzy. She was the complete opposite of what I wanted, a mare for a start, 4 years old and freshly broken
I wanted a gelding between 6-10 with some life experience! But when I sat on her I felt like we could do anything we wanted and after a second viewing and a passed vetting she arrived! She has been here a month and a half now. I am moving house to be closer to her, life has improved greatly that hole is filled and I am thriving on the challenge of her stubborn yet spirited and affectionate personality. I have been treating her stable as my office and sit with her doing my editing and feeling content! Life is good again and I am incredibly lucky! If you ahd told me this time last year I would be where I am now I would tell you 'you are mad!'
