Anxiety taking over!

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Loulabella1980

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As the title says really. I have a Welsh d gelding, he’s as good as gold, but before him I had a cob that was an absolute arse, I came off quite a lot. My new boy has never given me reason to think he’ll tank or bolt or do anything like the cob did. However, everytime I have a lesson I worry the whole day before and the day of the lesson , but once I’m on I’m fine. Also I just can’t get over my fear of not being in control and the ‘what ifs’. It’s stopping me from doing loads like going out hacking, competing, cantering down the field, riding in the school anytime I want! I need to get over it because when I do ride I love it but my anxiety is making me not want to at all. Help!
 
Oh I feel your pain - I am such a "what if" wuss a lot of the time, although to be fair, my horse can be an absolute arse.

Take very small steps and rebuild your confidence that way.

It can be a slow journey but take the time to enjoy your horse and stay in your comfort zone for now. Find someone kind with a reliable horse who will hack out with you for ten or 20 minutes and play with your horse in between - a bit of in-hand or some trec obstacles in the field.

If your lessons are fine and your instructor is good, you can start to step out of your comfort zone during those but never overdo it - just take tiny steps forward each time and it will come to you!

Good luck!
 
I'm not so bad for the what if's, but I definitely feel your pain on the anticipatory anxiety with nothing real to pin it on. In the depths of winter after a yard move I was at my worst, nothing bad happened but I would have anxiety on the run up to doing stuff. I'm out the other side now and the only advice I can offer is to try to crack on through it (my brain fought hard!) and it should ease with repetition. I still get it now and again if I have days off riding or doing something new, but I am better at ignoring it now.

And as Moleskinsmum says, just taking time to mess about and have fun without pressure to achieve will do wonders.
 
Congratulations Loulabella in finding a lovely Welsh D to share your journey back into the world of confident riding! ‘My’ Welsh D (riding school, hardly ridden except by me, the staff say he’s unofficially mine ha ha) saved me after an horrendous time with a TB mare. You say your ‘new boy’ so I’m guessing you’ve had him for a short while . After really bad experiences it can take a long time for your brain to rid itself of those awful anticipatory nerves because subconsciously it is still looking back to the previous horse. Then (as you know) when you are actually physically with your Welshie your brain realises, readjusts and calms down. So every minute you spend with him - not even riding, just being with him - will help to reconfigure your subconscious. I was exactly the same as you, it took longer for me to recover than it will for you as I didn’t have my own horse, but I got there!
 
This is me all over, I posted a couple of times on different threads about it but my horse has a bit of a sense of humour and likes to keep me grounded (literally) and it got to the point where I stopped riding over the winter out of worry of what he might do. 95% of the time he is a gem but he developed a habit of shoulder dropping but ironically that didn't even worry me, I started panicking about things he had never done before like bolt off with me or rear up. I haven't really found a way to overcome it, I've managed to stop the silly shoulder dropping he does which has helped but as others have said just take it very slowly, pushing yourself slightly where you can. For me this started as going for a slow, short hack with a sensible friend and then I progressed to picking up my lessons again and then I went a farm ride with a friend who was happy to stay behind and just walk and then last weekend I went to a local dressage competition which is something I could never have imagined doing 4 months ago.

I read lots of "positive riding" articles and confidence building stuff and bought some rescue remedy to help when I get on. I wasn't really into meditation as such but now spend 5 mins a day visualising myself enjoying riding and being really confident (how it looks, how it feels etc) which sounds silly but I feel like it really helps when I get myself in a downward panicky spiral.
 
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