Any suggestions... (long- sorry!!)

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Luce1504

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Me and my sister have 2 mares between us, who we have owned for 10 years, the problem is that my sister has almost but completely lost interest now. For the last 2 years a friend has mucked out twice a week and ridden with me at a weekend but she has recently had a baby and as she lives 30 mins drive away can no longer come to help.

My girls are kept at my parents home and whilst i have excellent stables and fantastic turnout, I don't have a school and this is where the biggest problem comes- They have terrible separation anxiety when separated after having had just the 2 of them together for 10 years. This means that I am now unable to ride and as much as I love my girls, and I know they are 100% happy not being ridden, I'm getting frustrated at not riding.

Has anyone any suggestions as to what I could do? or what they would do in my position?? I have thought of maybe trying to find a companion so I could leave one horse at home while i hack the other, but not sure introducing another horse would work? and I currently only have the 2 stables, and also I struggle to have time to fit in looking after 2 without adding a 3rd!! or I could try to find a sharer again but not having a school is a huge negative as the other person can only ride when I am and vice versa. Or should I try and tackle the separation anxiety issue? and if so how would you go about it?
 
There is alot of off road hacking nearby, where there are plenty of opportunities for canters and some natural jumps etc that I really want to make use of and wouldn't be able to if I was leading one and also to get to any decent hacking involves going on some fairly busy roads which is fine as both horses are 100% in traffic but again I wouldn't like to attempt riding along these roads whilst leading.
 
could you get a little companion that they can both latch on to, so you won't have to worry when riding out etc....?
 
Thats what I think I am going to end up doing, maybe a shettie or similar, but need to persuade my dad that this is a good idea, as he looks after them on the days when I can't and helps with chucking them out in field or bringing in etc and when I mentioned the idea of another- he wasn't too keen! Also we don't have a spare stable but there is potential to convert part of the barn where we keep our haylage and rugs to make a small internal stable.

I'm just so frustrated with the whole situation as my sister just couldn't give a damn about them- bear in mind she still lives at home and I don't. I drive there each morning before work and muck out, change rugs, chuck them out in the field, do bedtime nets and feed buckets, I then go back before dark to bring them in, change rugs etc and then they get their bed time nets later, and if I ask her to bring them in (to a clean stable) or to give them their nets (ready filled), you would think I was asking the world!
 
a small companion sounds idea, it's got to be a mare i think, but it might take a good while for them to bond with it... after 10 years together, they'll be best mates, obviously. so this may not be as simple a solution as it sounds.
if you stable one with the radio on while you take the other out, what happens? does the one you're riding nap and refuse to leave its friend, or is it fine once out of earshot? does the one left behind calm down once you've gone, or continue to be a fruitloop? might be worth trying this while your sister or dad has a spare 1/2 hour. make sure someone stays with the left-behind one though, in case there's any danger of her actually injuring herself, trying to jump out or something.
i must say it sounds very selfish of your sister... but being a total horse nut myself, i can't understand those who can't be bothered!
if you've got an absolute favourite, then maybe keep that one and sell the other one, if that's feasible?
 
I agree a companion is the way to go. I had one and I just kept my boys together other than when they rode and then george (the companion) joined the one left behind. My two boys are joined at the hip totally and a companion was the only way to a) hack or b) go out to compete. When George died a month ago (and it was terrible and we miss him so much, he was 33 and we'd had him forever) we ended up buying another horse as i couldn't do anything without a third. Silly but having a companion made all the difference in the world. The one left behind didn't bat an eye if george was with him.

We bought a new horse this time and already they have bonded and my two really are totally joined at the hip. I do keep them separate as I don't want any accidents but when the time comes for the competitions I know it'll work out fine. They just need someone there.
 
I would get a little companion too I think however I would definitely try to tackle the separation anxiety. Maybe a companion would help with that. Although it's horrible to think of one day one of the horses isn't going to be there and then the separation anxiety will be a huge problem. Years ago one of the horses died at a yard my sister was at and her mare laid where the other was buried for days - it was horrible.
 
Thanks for all your replies, I think i am gonna to have to seriously think about getting a companion.

With regards to what happens if I try to take one out without the other- This hasn't been attempted for a few years due to the disasters that have happened previously. The horse left behind goes absolutely bonkers e.g. trying to barge through the door, climb the door, bouncing off the balls, sweating up, screaming etc etc the last time we attempted this we even had our neighbours ring up saying they thought the horses were in distress (bear in mind the neighbours are approx 1/2 mile away!) and they are both as bad as each other when left. The horse that is taken out is extremely nappy, constantly shouting, spooky and not really safe to have near a road.

However one of the horses had sinusitus 2 years ago and spent almost a month in the vets having to have them flushed and the horse left behind settled after about a day and I was able to hack her out alone without a problem. But even on a day to day basis the separation anxiety is an issue as they panic if they can't see each other to the point where I have to lead them around together.

I don't think a goat or sheep would be an option as my dad has sheep and he wont allow the horses in the sheep fields because one of the mares is extremely agressive towards them and chases them round constantly. The same mare can be agressive towards other horses too as she is very dominant but I think as long as I took care in introducing another pony it is still a feasible option, she previously lived on a very large yard and was turned out with lots of other horses so she can't be too bad!
 
Definitely introduce a new one slowly then. It has taken over a month for my usually very placid mare to get used to a new pony and he was introduced slowly - it has turned her into the horse from hell so I can't imagine what it would have been like if she was very dominant too! I would start by leading one out without the other, maybe separating the field they share so they can still see one another but aren't together. At least you know they can settle if they have been separated in the past. Try leaving one in the field when you groom etc and get into some kind of routine with it so they will learn to settle down - know it's time for one to come in for a brush and then the other etc They'll hopefully then start getting used to being separate, but unfortunately you'll have to do it everyday so it will be time-consuming. Good luck whatever you do, I hope it all works out ok
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