Any tips with helping a young child through the sale of their first pony

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alwaysbroke

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Deep sigh, our 7 yr old has shot up and is looking rather top heavy for his lovely little pony, it really is time for him to move on to something bigger.

We have been preparing him slowly for this time, talking about him growing and the pony staying the same size and also talking about having to sell April so she can help some other little children learn to ride just like she has taught him, BUT, it looks like this is going to be harder than we thought.

We have had April longer than the son, she was my daughters pony, but so reliable we kept her for our son who has sat on her since her was 12 days old, she has always been part of his life, from taking him for walks as a toddler with him falling asleep on her to the last two years as Lead Rein Champion at the local show, to jumping and hacking off the lead rein. It really will be a huge wrench for him when she goes.

In an ideal world we would keep her and loan her out for our yard, but we need the money from selling her to finance the replacement, also yard is full so need her stable space.

Looked at a few sites last night with little lad, and he wasn't interested in anything we found, if it wasnt chestnut and pretty enough it wasn't for him:(

Any tips on heartbreak limitation would be greatly appreciated, son sees no problem with keeping 11hh pony as a pet while rides my daughters 16.3 :eek::eek:!!
 
They never prepare for things like this at ante natal do they - just the easy stuff like bathing & changing nappies!
Can't hep & I'm afraid it doesn't get easier as they get older - 18yo son's first pony will be euthanased on 22nd & that's proving tough even though he understands & accepts it's right.
 
I've had this, I found getting my daughter excited about a new pony worked well, she to wasn't overly interested at first. Kids are so resilant and bounce back quickly, once gone he'll soon learn to move on with his new pony. I also told my daughter her old pony was very happy and doing well in their new home, this also made it easier for her x
 
No advice honey as not had that problem with not having kids! Sorry got no words of wisdom on this one :( You've tried all the obvious ones, the only thing to do is just go and do it and see what happens, could backfire though. Alternatively just keep little one and let him ride the 16.3 :p:D
 
What an awkward time. I do agree with getting the second first, if at all possible BUT if he's not enamoured with anything, that makes it harder :(
 
Get him out trying out new ponies. I'm not saying waste vendors time but let him see what else is out there.
 
have had just the same problem with my 10 yr old daughter, she's had her little pony since she was 3, but he is lead rein only and she can't progress on him and now is too big, (altho daughter is quite small lol) really pony should have gone last year but daughter was having none of it lol so we just left it. this year she has realised that if she want's to progress ,pony has to go, he's now up for sale and she's looking forward to either riding the 4 yr old if he's ready or getting a loan pony for a year or so. i think it helped that i got her to ride a friends 12.2 pony, she realised that she could be having fun on another pony and that was when she accepted that little one had to go.
 
itsmylife said:
What about getting new one on loan and loaning out old one?
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Sounds like the perfect answer, especially if you could lwvtb the small pony. Your son could visit, or look at e-mails about yours, while getting attached to new one. If the new one has to go back, he will be older, and so probably better able to cope with the idea.
 
Thank you for all your replies.

HC so sorry that your son will be losing his old pony soon, 18 yr old daughter lost her old eventing horse in November it was a hard time:(

MM think this what I have been trying to do, but realised last night how attached he is to Aps, will keep up the cheerful approach:)

P, beginning to think that handing J over to him maybe the way to go, but dont think many people would approve;)

BM , BDC, A , IB and PaS I am really toying with getting the second before selling the first, but OH is made of sterner stuff and does most of the stable work atm, so not too keen on this but may be able to talk him around:D Have seen a few that I like the look of but Aps is going to be a tough act to follow. I keep going back to one advert but really dont want to mess any sellers about. Might just have to ask a few friends if he can have a play on some of their ponies.

IML, would really like to do this, but it would be a huge problem if the loaner decided to send pony back, if I had my own place it wouldn't be a problem, but our yard is full and livery prices have just gone up as well:(

Mrs M, watch out one of yours may disappear off down the road one night....:D

I feel like I am being really awkward, would love to loan Aps out she has alot to give to a young child, I am going round in circles in my head, but I know in my heart of hearts she has to be sold, unless I win the lottery sometime very soon:)
 
If you have some local friends with ponies of the right size - it'd be a great idea to get him out riding something different - once his appetite is whet, he may be easier to bring round to moving up!xx
 
Aw sod what others think :p Get him on J and then he can do in hand classes with Aps as well, sound like a good plan to me LOL ;):D
 
We loaned mine out so it wasnt so hard (to our old livery yard owner down the road) and arranged for her to go the day after my new one came.. I was still in tears for ages even though I was very lucky with that arrangement! (She is still out on loan 11 years later spending her last few years down the road with two very tiny twin sisters doing leadrein walk and trot!)
Hopefully if you go to see somenew ones and he finds someone he likes, and you find a really nice family to send the pony too and he likes them, then it wont be as hard as you think. Good luck anyway.
 
I feel for you its so hard! The thought of selling Gimley breaks my heart too!
Although my daughter is only 6 and this is her 1st season on our 11.2hh sec A Gimley, I think she has a maximum of 2 years left on him.
Do what I'm doing.... Find a 3/4 yr old sec C, break it yourself and ride it on for a while then let him take over :D
Our 11.2hh will stay with me for life as I'm small enough to ride him. I'm paying off my C colt over the summer and will have him home Sept/Oct. He's a lush Chestnut with a very pretty pony head :D I'll break him in Jan, ride him for the season and then daughter can have him for riddens the year after..... So will I ha ha ha.
I hope you sort something out, xx
 
I feel your pain, having gone through this. We loaned Mini TX's first pony, and he was a total and utter darling, who I fell in love with as well. He was ancient and laminitic, but he was loving, very handsome, fun and utterly safe and dependable - even though he was an Arab/Welsh cross and could be a bit flighty. We got around it by getting her busy looking for a new pony, who we bought. On the day new pony arrived, loan pony went back home. We were both so upset that I had to get YO to drive my 4x4 as I couldnt see - I was crying so much.

Yes it upset her, but she got over it! Children are more resilient than we give them credit for, and we had an upset day, but after that she got on with it. I am sitting her filling up with tears thinking about old 'Mars Bar' as he was known - and he is still going strong, but is now a well loved lawn mower with his owner.

Also, have you thought of the Pony Club website - I guess your son is a member, if not, why dont you contact your local branch's Secretary or DC - they usually know who is looking for new ponies, or can advertise them on their website. I dont know where you are, but if you are in the South West, let me know as I am our branch's Secretary.

I think its a rite of passage they have to go through - dont think there is an easy, or pain free solution, but I wish you both well.
 
If I were you I'd train April to drive, your son will never be to big for her and they can continue along with their friendship...
 
We are having the same dilemma with my 4 yold daughter and her mini shettie! He's been a fab tots pony but shes ready for something more that will respond to her rather than the person leading! She does everything on her own with him and he's so safe and such a sweetie, I'm not sure how much of it is me that doesn't want Him to go !? I do think children can be quite fickle and shallow, my daughter has a new best friend each week! My plan is to look for a new one and keep shettie on grass livery to overlap them, that way I think I will minimise the upset as my daughter won't need to have a break from ponies as I think she would be devastated if she didn't have one to love!

My problem is my hubby who isn't horsey and can't see why she needs a new one!
 
It is very hard. We did it once, and are now at the stage where his current, wonderful pony will have to go at the end of the summer.

We were lucky enough to be able to keep my step son's first pony for a year before selling her as we have our own yard and land, and got his next pony on loan. The loan pony was too much fo him, and he always leaned towards his old pony, so we sent the pony back. We were lucky enough to get the offer of a cheap pony to buy, which turned out to be a fantastic PC allrounder, and as my stepson got more used to this pony and started having more fun/doing higher classes on him, he was much more amenable to selling his first pony. It helps that we stay in touch with the pony's new home, and get reports of how well its doing and is loved..

If you can't do this, make sure that you point out children doing higher classes and athings that he would be able to do on a bigger pony. Get him watching future classes when at shows etc. It helps if others at PC are changeing ponies!

I don't think that you're doing him any favours in the long run by keeping his old pony as a pet and leading him round on your bigger one - he needs something he can ride alone and learn on... Sometimes you have to make the decisions, not let them rule the roost. They don't make sensible decisions for you at that age, but a lot of parents let them decide.

Hope that it all goes well, there will be tears, but they get over things and move on easier than a lot of adults at that age. Best of luck.x
 
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