Anyone else go SJ, NOT want to do it, get going then *LOVE* it...?

[catembi]

...or am I just weird?

We went to a local venue today as they had a few hours of clear round. I was going around the warm-up ring in walk & the CR was at 60 cm & I was thinking, that's too big, I don't want to do it. The practice jump was too big as well, & I thought, why the hell am I even here? I don't want to do this at all. But then put the practice jump down to a x-pole, popped that a few times, had a canter, CR went down to 50 cms so went in, jumped clear, then it went up to 70 cm so went in, did a respectable job & was then examining the 90 cm track & thinking, h'mm, that's what we're aiming at before the end of the year.

So quite an about-turn in the space of 45 minutes or so? Does anyone else ever feel like this? Going from not wanting to jump a x-pole in the warm-up to thinking about affiliating in the not too distant future...?

 

[Red-1]

YES! I often go an wonder why I entered, then do it and have such a fab time that I enter again, then as it comes closer wonder if it is right, when I arrive I wonder why I entered, then I do
it and have such a fab time that I enter again, then as it comes closer wonder if it is right, when I arrive I wonder why I entered, then I do
it and have such a fab time that I enter again, then as it comes closer wonder if it is right, when I arrive I wonder why I entered, then I do
it and have such a fab time that I enter again, then as it comes closer wonder if it is right, when I arrive I wonder why I entered, then I do...

LOL

 

[Teajack]

Know exactly what you mean, albeit on a smaller scale - at fun shows l transformed from someone who is sh*t scared by cross poles into another person picking the biggest jumps in the accumulator ... unfortunately it never lasted

 

[Abi90]

Yes, every time I go anywhere with my horse for that matter!

 

[dixie]

Yes always. It usually starts as I’m driving to the venue. It’s worse if I’m on my own as I mull things over in a bad way.
I don’t think it’s unusual to be fair, have heard other people saying the same.
Today I was on a clinic and it usually starts with me deciding I should give up jumping altogether, during the clinic I decided I was outclassed and should have been in the smaller group. By times we’d finished and he jumped fab, I was buzzing and looking for the next clinic or show that’s coming up.

 

[teddypops]

Me! I enter then I dread going, wonder why I entered but then I love it!

 

[Abi90]

Me! I enter then I dread going, wonder why I entered but then I love it!

Yep this is me every time. Even for lessons then I’m buzzing afterwards

 

[Pie's mum]

Yep me too. My alarm goes on the morning and I wonder why I’m bothering. Dither all the way to the venue. Panic walking the course. Get on warm up and have a great time. Then drive home buzzing with how fun it was making plans and goals. Then somehow in the days that follow I revert to dithery and can’t be bothered!

 

[Meredith]

Nope. Went to Camp, excited, hoping to improve my jumping and be able to try a small competition. Actually felt outclassed, left out and hardly jumped at all. Seemed to spend my time watching everyone else in the group improve. Came home and have hardly jumped since.

 

[Bernster]

I was going to write that I do the first bit but not the last bit ie not the enjoying it and wanting to do it again. Then I realised that’s not true. I’m exactly like this inc forgetting all the nerves when I get into the ring, and being on a massive high afterwards.

I try to remember this loop when I’m feeling sh#t scared and wondering why the hell I’ve entered.

Meredith, very sad to read you didn’t have a good outing. Sounds like the wrong set up, but ime it does get better. I’ve been there plenty of times and it does pass. Try changing your set up to maybe just one ins for a while. That worked for me.

 

[DressageCob]

Yep, I spend most of the time thinking "I don't think I like this" and wanting to withdraw. But then I get going and I love it. Once it's going well there is nothing like it 😊

 

[Meredith]

I was going to write that I do the first bit but not the last bit ie not the enjoying it and wanting to do it again. Then I realised that’s not true. I’m exactly like this inc forgetting all the nerves when I get into the ring, and being on a massive high afterwards.

I try to remember this loop when I’m feeling sh#t scared and wondering why the hell I’ve entered.

Meredith, very sad to read you didn’t have a good outing. Sounds like the wrong set up, but ime it does get better. I’ve been there plenty of times and it does pass. Try changing your set up to maybe just one ins for a while. That worked for me.

Thanks for your kind words. I am concentrating on trying to do Prelim dressage for the first time at the moment. When I feel confident that I can forget the dismal time I might find that I want to try to jump again.

 

[catembi]

Oh Meredith, that's just how I'd have felt if I'd gone home/given up all the times I wanted to! Maybe book a private lesson & just do some polework & see how you go? Don't put pressure on yourself but just trot over some poles & see what happens. You're way ahead of us with Prelim dr! We are still doing walk-trots!

 

[Meredith]

Oh Meredith, that's just how I'd have felt if I'd gone home/given up all the times I wanted to! Maybe book a private lesson & just do some polework & see how you go? Don't put pressure on yourself but just trot over some poles & see what happens. You're way ahead of us with Prelim dr! We are still doing walk-trots!

Not ahead yet, first Prelim next week!
I am doing polework occasionally and I enjoy it. I think C enjoys poles and jumping but I find it difficult to continue when things go wrong and there was little advice to help.
How do you find that doing it once makes you want to do more? I find if I can get to the event I deserve a rosette. Getting through the start is an ordeal now and remembering the course when you know you are going to mess it up means I don’t go. For me lessons are no good at all in preparing you for a competition as there is no similarity at all.

However I am glad to hear there are lots of you enjoying SJ.

 

[catembi]

Can you pay someone to go with you, Meredith, like an instructor or an experienced friend? Or can you book a lesson at the same venue as the competition? So maybe start with a private lesson at the venue, then move onto a clinic? Make sure that it's teeny tiny so that you are almost bored with it. Then see if the desire to do more builds! I bet it would really help you to have a hand-holder come with you once or twice! We all need some moral support sometimes. I also have dreadful trouble remembering courses & tests...you are not alone!

 

[Meredith]

Can you pay someone to go with you, Meredith, like an instructor or an experienced friend? Or can you book a lesson at the same venue as the competition? So maybe start with a private lesson at the venue, then move onto a clinic? Make sure that it's teeny tiny so that you are almost bored with it. Then see if the desire to do more builds! I bet it would really help you to have a hand-holder come with you once or twice! We all need some moral support sometimes. I also have dreadful trouble remembering courses & tests...you are not alone!

Thanks Catembi
I thought I was doing pretty well until the camp.
All my friends are doing their own things which is different to me and all the instructors I know just instruct all the time with their pre arranged lessons at venues where there aren’t any competitions. I keep my horse at home and don’t have a school. I go to some riding club clinics but there is no consistency to them and the instructors are different each time. I can’t do XC practise as a helper is needed. The only time I am not alone is on a fun or organised ride.
I am grateful for the suggestions and am sorry to be so negative on a thread about enjoyment and achievement but I thought people with that frame of mind would be the best to help.
I have reread this and it doesn’t sound as I would want it but I can’t word it any better, sorry.

 

[catembi]

Yeah mine are at home and always have been! Hence this thread as I literally have no-one else to ask about what's normal! O/h is non horsey & a bit bemused by it all. I have no school atm as I moved a year ago & am embroiled in a planning dispute.

I bet you've got a local FaceBook horsey group. Join the one for your local area & then do a post asking if anyone would go with you to comps! I got a haccking companion by advertising.

I thought that once I got transport (yay!) all my worries would be over & I could get consistent instruction, but it's so hard trying to keep track of what's on when. I found a fab trainer at a clinic & wanted regular lessons, but he is heavily booked & impossible to book with. I hope it will all fall into place once I get my school, but then I thought that about the lorry!

 

[Meredith]

Yeah mine are at home and always have been! Hence this thread as I literally have no-one else to ask about what's normal! O/h is non horsey & a bit bemused by it all. I have no school atm as I moved a year ago & am embroiled in a planning dispute.

I bet you've got a local FaceBook horsey group. Join the one for your local area & then do a post asking if anyone would go with you to comps! I got a haccking companion by advertising.

I thought that once I got transport (yay!) all my worries would be over & I could get consistent instruction, but it's so hard trying to keep track of what's on when. I found a fab trainer at a clinic & wanted regular lessons, but he is heavily booked & impossible to book with. I hope it will all fall into place once I get my school, but then I thought that about the lorry!

We have many similarities I think.
I will look at Facebook and see what I can find.
Thanks

 

[be positive]

all the instructors I know just instruct all the time with their pre arranged lessons at venues where there aren’t any competitions.

You need to find a decent instructor, I never have a set plan, maybe a basic one in mind, lessons especially jumping ones with people you don't know really well need to develop as you go depending on what is happening at the time, I don't understand how they get away with ignoring the weakest rider, even if I have to keep putting fences down they will get encouragement, will have a full session and may in some cases get more attention to try and boost their confidence.
I only train a few people now and every lesson is geared towards their goals, usually we start with simple exercises then build up depending on how things are going on the day with the aim to finish on a good note having improved from the last time in some way and achieved a step in the right direction which may be jumping bigger but equally may be to have just got the rider to relax a little and have more confidence.
I go to competitions with them when I can fit it in, it counts as a lesson, help warm up, walk the course, talk through the plan and discuss whatever happened afterwards, I do have time to do so and realise most instructors will not but they should be interested in your goals, should take time in a lesson to offer advice as to where you can go and plan the lessons for you not for themselves or to some set structure that has no relevance to where you are.

 

[Sasana Skye]

YES! I often go an wonder why I entered, then do it and have such a fab time that I enter again, then as it comes closer wonder if it is right, when I arrive I wonder why I entered, then I do
it and have such a fab time that I enter again, then as it comes closer wonder if it is right, when I arrive I wonder why I entered, then I do
it and have such a fab time that I enter again, then as it comes closer wonder if it is right, when I arrive I wonder why I entered, then I do
it and have such a fab time that I enter again, then as it comes closer wonder if it is right, when I arrive I wonder why I entered, then I do...

LOL

Literally me too!! Although more so for XC, my horse is very reliable SJ so I tend to have a better time if not for the warm up arena and the hanging around.

 

[Meredith]

You need to find a decent instructor, I never have a set plan, maybe a basic one in mind, lessons especially jumping ones with people you don't know really well need to develop as you go depending on what is happening at the time, I don't understand how they get away with ignoring the weakest rider, even if I have to keep putting fences down they will get encouragement, will have a full session and may in some cases get more attention to try and boost their confidence.
I only train a few people now and every lesson is geared towards their goals, usually we start with simple exercises then build up depending on how things are going on the day with the aim to finish on a good note having improved from the last time in some way and achieved a step in the right direction which may be jumping bigger but equally may be to have just got the rider to relax a little and have more confidence.
I go to competitions with them when I can fit it in, it counts as a lesson, help warm up, walk the course, talk through the plan and discuss whatever happened afterwards, I do have time to do so and realise most instructors will not but they should be interested in your goals, should take time in a lesson to offer advice as to where you can go and plan the lessons for you not for themselves or to some set structure that has no relevance to where you are.

Oh I need lessons like these.
Where are you?😀

 

[be positive]

Oh I need lessons like these.
Where are you?😀

Somerset soon moving to Pembrokeshire so probably rather too far!

 

[AandK]

All the time! Fine for dressage but SJ and XC I would pretty much always be warming up feeling sick, wondering why I entered as I was dreading it! Fine once I got going and buzzing after finishing!

 

[SpringArising]

I saw you at TT the other weekend, @catembi. I was impressed with how well-behaved your horse was

If I haven't competed for a while I get nervous, but if I do it regularly I enjoy the whole process!

 

[catembi]

Awww, thank you, SA. The temperament was why I bought him....everything else is a bonus, tbh! Come & say hello next time!

 

[Meredith]

Somerset soon moving to Pembrokeshire so probably rather too far!

I am closer than you would perhaps expect ( Shropshire) but still too far unfortunately.

 

[merlinsquest]

You need to find a decent instructor, I never have a set plan, maybe a basic one in mind, lessons especially jumping ones with people you don't know really well need to develop as you go depending on what is happening at the time, I don't understand how they get away with ignoring the weakest rider, even if I have to keep putting fences down they will get encouragement, will have a full session and may in some cases get more attention to try and boost their confidence.
I only train a few people now and every lesson is geared towards their goals, usually we start with simple exercises then build up depending on how things are going on the day with the aim to finish on a good note having improved from the last time in some way and achieved a step in the right direction which may be jumping bigger but equally may be to have just got the rider to relax a little and have more confidence.
I go to competitions with them when I can fit it in, it counts as a lesson, help warm up, walk the course, talk through the plan and discuss whatever happened afterwards, I do have time to do so and realise most instructors will not but they should be interested in your goals, should take time in a lesson to offer advice as to where you can go and plan the lessons for you not for themselves or to some set structure that has no relevance to where you are.

I agree with this! Poor Meredith ☹️ I train with an international pro, we’ve been all the way up to Discovery, which is tiny to him! Had a few scares & lost confidence, we are currently “jumping” raised poles, x poles on the lowest height really & finished last time with a couple of teeny tiny verticals. He remains, positive, encouraging, calm & professional having seen us at our very best & worst. We will probably never return to bigger fences, but as long as we can enjoy & be confident I feel that’s not the be all & end all. Bad trainers do so much damage, I had one before the current fabby & it took me a long time to get over it.

 

[BunnyDog]

@Meredith God my heart breaks for you reading about your camp experience. I think this is why we try very hard over here to have instructors that stay engaged with everyone when in a group setting. Losing the person who feels like they're left out is just so crushing to all involved. That said I think you would be wise to try to remember to "Stay in your lane" which is that watching everyone else improving and feeling like that's not you and then (maybe) somehow feeling like you're worse...that isn't the best path. You can be in a group and work on yourself and praise yourself when you do well on something that's a challenge FOR YOU. You aren't dealing with the life/world of those around you. Sure you may all ride in one school BUT you are there to work on you and your horse. So allowing yourself to feel worse because someone else is succeeding... I get it. I do. But in horses its all such a crap shoot and so much luck in involved with gobs of patience and hard work....everyone has been where you are and equally everyone can be where they're the 'good' rider of the group. You really have to find a way to motivate yourself to praise yourself even for tiny little things. No one else's success should be a cause to be depressed about yourself and your own abilities. But that said I have been there myself.

If you were one of my students, when I taught, I would be sure that when in a group setting we had that moment at the beginning of the lesson where everyone said ALOUD what their goals were for that day. And at the end of the ride, we talked and had everyone share: 1) What they thought they did well 2) What they know to work on 3) What EACH OTHER RIDER IN THE GROUP did well.

This worked very well to allow others to feel validated by their peers and realize that they're not alone, it's always a struggle in part with the horse or your own mind. Also it helps to get them to watch the rider going at the time so less chit chat that distracts from learning from what other riders are doing and such.

Back to the original topic.... OMG you wouldn't believe how high the warm up fences can be at times. When we were doing 1.10 last year, I am not joking, at 2 shows they had warm up jumps scaling over 1.30 everywhere. I can't even tell you how high we've seen them now that we're doing 1.30/1.35.

I do blink a lot and have to get my butterflies to fly in formation when I see the big big stuff. I know that over the years I have worked to remind myself that we are prepared for what's in the ring. The warm up can be a different story but ultimately we do have control over what we jump and what we lower to be where we want it to be. I had a lot of trouble staying in my own lane watching folks jump the big warm ups but what changed was that I could see they were overworking their horses and themselves and often didn't finish that well. So their way wasn't exactly a good thing at all. So I still do it my way. I don't do much higher than the class, and given my preference I would only jump 2 fences at the height. I prefer to do less.

Em

 

[Bernster]

That sounds like a lovely way to approach things BDog. I have def been there, feeling like teacher's pet and being all pleased that we are doing well, but feeling like a terrible failure another time as I've just not been able to 'get it'. And quite often the only difference is sometimes the horse is on form, and other times not so much.

 

[CrazyMare]

If you look at my thread, with my boy popping round nicely.... I actually thought I didn't want to jump first fence because he'd just turned himself inside out over a cross pole outside.

That horse regularly has me swinging from "I'm terrified" to "I love him, he's awesome"