Anyone else have a groom?

steph91

steph91

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Really not trying to sound like a bratty teenager, but my family's current groom is so rude to me in everyway. Yes she is older (only 3 years) and more experienced so i do listen to her on most things about horse care/treatment and schooling and a lot of the time i do really value her. It's just every time i suggest something it's stupid, even when it's concerning my own horse, i won't go into the long list, i'm just annoyed as i'm used to doing everything for my horse and now feel like i can't. Another thing, she used to work for a top top eventer (i'm talking recent winner of burghley and badminton) and everything we have is not up to her standards, rugs, tack, lorry, schooling arena, xc jumps, even our horses. I'd like to say something to her but knows it will just cause friction and i really don't want that. So any advise on what to do there.
And also anyone else have grooms and how to politely get things done the way you want?
Sorry for the absolute ramble just been a long day of tolerance :(
 
right i am 16, my friend has been through sooo many grooms since she was little, now the last one i really liked BUT she was a controll freak and because the girl boards at school she obviously did not everything herself so it was always done the grroms way. They (issy parents) told her straight that it was her pony and her yard so wanted things done differently, in the end it didnt ork out fo several reasons, basically yu will have to tell our groom that you ae not happy with what is being done and tell her what you dod want her to do and what you don't.

I hope it works out!!
 
The paradox of grooms is that if they are good they will have strong opinions and so you have to work out a way of managing tackfully ...... delegating downwards, upwards, etc is a great skill to learn!!

So first of all think what you want from the groom and start to take charge of areas you want to ... but you have to be really reliable in those areas.

For example, if you want to take control of your riding, first identify your aim (improving your XCountry, horses fitness, whatever) and then plan how to get there and what help you want from the groom. Talk the plan through with her and try and enlist her help getting there!! Simples, you have started to take control.

No worries that you yard, horses and things aren't good enough - I guess maybe she feels a bit jealous that you have such things so you have to kinda ignore it and just identify on what you are trying to achieve.

Oh and sometimes things just don't work out, grooms tend to be relatively short term employees so just learn everything you can from them while they are with you!!
 
Talk to your parents as they employ the groom and either they will be happy with the groom instructing you or they wont, so they n eed to decide ultimately. It may well be that you are doing silly things but it may well be that you are doing them in a 'family yard' style which is not up to pro standards but just as good, so you need to say to your parents who will then have a discussion with the groom
 
Thanks for the advise everyone, will try and talk to her tactfully, although i know i will just get an excuse for everything so will try and get one of my parents to have a quick word, its just difficult cos its only me and my sister on the yard atm, cos of my dad's accident. I get it though i would struggle being told things by someone younger than me, but will try,
THANK YOU ALL
 
Discuss it with your parents first perhaps? The last thing your Dad needs if he has just had an accident is the groom leaving! Try and ignore it when she moans that things aren't up to the standard of her last yard - she left didn't she! Just do your own thing with your horse, and let her do what she has been hired to do by your parents...
 
this groom has only been her for 4 months the other one left after my dad's accident, which i understand it was a horrible thing to see. Just as an example of the type of person, my dad contracts all grooms to ride with their hat on, if they fall an injure themselves he is not liable at all, which is far enough, she never rides with a hat unless one of us is out there riding as well and remind her.
Will try and just mind my own business
 
Actually she is breaking her contract of employment by not wearing a hat when riding so depends if you want to keep her or not. If you can get another groom fairly easily & are happy to see her go then go down the contract / warning / dismissal route. If you want to keep her then try the job review / assessment route - what she thinks she does well, enjoys, would like to do more of, doesn't enjoy, would like to change & then cover the same ground from your perspective. Probably should be done by her line manager (?) / employer who is probably your father. If her last job was so wonderful why did she leave? (as your yard is obviously (to her) so much more lowly)
 
From your description, the groom considers herself more of an instructress than a groom? Uner which category was she employed? When we had grooms they were competent men or women who looked after the stables day-to-day, exercised the horses, cleaned the tack and that was that. There was never any question of instructing.

As a previous commentator said, if the fomer post with the Olympic rider was so fantastic, why isn't she still ther?. You should talk with your parents about how things are. But, if your father is still recovering from his accident, then don't rock the boat and be left with nobody - unless you can take on the care of your horses! Hope your father makes a full recovery.
 
I don't think we want to fire her cos she obviously has a lot of experience working for a top top rider, and i know i could really learn from her and like having the lessons with her, just not general yard work. She does do all the main yard jobs and i help out when i'm not at work, just do a lot of 'yeh' 'aha' 'really' so i don't say something out of line.
I don't think she got on with the rider, as obviously he wanted things done his way and she wanted to do things her way, i think she is just ne of those people that think their way is the best, but being on a family yard, we don't think it really matters if one of the horses rugs is a little too short on their back and not all their saddles are amazing comfortable.
My dad is getting better thanks, just back up on his feet walking a few steps, but i know when he does get back out on the yard and riding they will not agree, as being a man things really do have to be done his way! Will talk to my parents when they'll back from holiday
cheers for words of wisdom :)
 
Seeing as your dad is likely to be much stricter I would pull her aside before he returns and gently explain that if she wants to keep her job, things have to be done his way, as a friendly warning. That way when all hell breaks lose when he returns she can't land you in it. The most important thing you can do is talk to her, my own opinion is that as long as the horses aren't suffering for the humans way of doing things and the jobs done at the end of the day, then just get on with it (but I'm way more laid back than a lot of people).
 
You have a groom! :eek: Looking at it from her point of view, maybe she is just trying to be helpful, but not putting it very well? But from your perspective, you, or rather your parents, are paying this woman to look after your horses, and so she should be polite...
 
I have worked for several people as a groom, some have been large yards and a few family run affair's, it is difficult sometimes to work somewhere looking after horses when there way is different from yours, but at the end of the day it is a job and she is being paid so she has to do it your way or the high way I think.
I think its quite rude of her to express her feelings about your horses and surroundings not being up to her normal standards, if her wonderful job with the top rider was so great why is she not still there?
I would wait until you can speak to your parents, she is just throwing her weight around at the moment because she can, hope you manage to sorth things out.
 
OK, first things first. This woman works for you, therefore she is your EMPLOYEE. Get it? By the very nature of its description they should do what they are told within the remit of their job description, if such a thing exists. If she is being rude to you then your parents must deal with. If your yard is not up to her high standards then why did she take the job? I have over 50 employees, most of them good. They do as they are asked to do, ie work. This is what she should be doing for you.
 
I would be wondering why this girl has suddenly stopped working for a top eventer when she is only young, most grooms who are good at their job and valued as part of the team, dont leave a job like that without reason :)
 
I have a groom - but she's only 11 and she always does what she is told - best little groom in Scotland so she is - my daughter :D

Speak to your parents hun - let them know how she is treating you - they can have a quiet word :)
 
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