Anyone else put pressure on themselves to do things riding wise?

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HorsesHavingFun

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Hi all,

I was just wondering really. When it comes to riding I seem to constantly be putting myself under pressure to do certain things with my horse like jump fillers, go to a show etc that in all honesty I don't want to actually do! I've achieved lots more than I ever dreamed of with my horse, yet in my silly head it never seems to be enough and I keep piling on the pressure to do things I think I 'ought' to do, just to prove to myself I can do it if that makes sense..when all I want to be able to do is relax and be happy with what I've done with my horse, but I never am! :(

I was just wondering if anyone else does this and how do you combat it so it doesn't stress you to pieces?!

Thanks for any replies :)
 
I think this is a really interesting question. I would probably say I am the same - but it's not just horses, it's life in general... I always have to have some sort of aim - whether it's with the kids or work or whatever. Drives my OH a bit nuts as he's happy to take it easy once work is over and the kids are in bed - he'll sit on the sofa while I'm running round painting something or training the dogs or whatever. Riding, I have to have something to aim for. Even though I love a chilled out hack, I want to be improving, learning and challenging myself.

OP, are you like it in other parts of life? Or is horses the outlet that lets you challenge yourself and be creative and ambitious? It isn't a bad thing... I say enjoy the hacks and the fun, but push yourself a bit too. I think some of the things that start off with 'to prove you can' become the things you love to do and are proud of.

I remember my first event... sitting waiting to go in the start box at the BCA, terrified and thinking 'why am I doing this'... but loved, loved, loved it, and have never stopped wanting more of it.
 
I love setting myself a challenge horsey wise.
Went jumping today and did the 2ft6 class, 2nd time out, last time we did the 2ft3. Next time am aiming for the 2ft9! yes i go green at the start and get the butterflies but once am doing it i love it and get a huge buzz :)
Hoping to go hunting nearer xmas, that will be fun!
 
Having been at a yard where I felt I had to do "more", now we have moved into the back of beyond, I am absolutely loving the freedom of Shy and I going out for a daily hour's walk. i have bad back, and at times, that is all I can cope with, and all I want to do. We both love out trips out, having a good nosey at sheep, cows, people, houses (this is Shy of course).

Never feel you have to do anything - horses are for fun. x
 
Thanks for all the replies :) although I know having goals is good as it gives you things to aim for, I seem to get so caught up with them it makes it not fun anymore.


Abacus said:
OP, are you like it in other parts of life? Or is horses the outlet that lets you challenge yourself anive and ambitious? It isn't a bad thing... I say enjoy the hacks and the fun, but push yourself a bit too. I think some of the things that start off with 'to prove you can' become the things you love to do and are proud of.

I remember my first event... sitting waiting to go in the start box at the BCA, terrified and thinking 'why am I doing this'... but loved, loved, loved it, and have never stopped wanting more of it.
Click to expand...

I'm not like it at all in other parts of life actually, just with horses. :) Thing is I don't always 'love' what I set out in my mind that I need to achieve, I do it because I feel I ought to, that I need to and that once I've done it the pressure will go away, but something else always appears!
 
No I don't. I do what I like to do and when I want to do it. I've done most of the things I've wanted to do and I have no interest in making myself do anything I don't want to nowadays. If I want to ride, I ride. If I don't want to, I don't. If I want to compete at certain shows then I will, if I change my mind prior to the show then, oh well, I don't go.
 
yes i do! i worry to much what other people think and push myself to do more because of this! made worse as i had a lovely mare who i did everything on, i lost her and my confidence but now have a new lad and feel pressured to do what i did with my mare with him even if i dont want to!

im having a hard time at home which doesnt help as my overall confidence isnt good at the mo!

maybe i need a good kick up the ass!
 
Yep, I do! But it's my programme to rebuild my confidence, in part. Otherwise I would probably not ride at all.

This weekend I hacked my girl out with a friend - I walked halfway, she walked halfway. I haven't hacked for years and the thought of having to leave the yard on my previous boy genuinely makes me hyperventilate, because he was so unpredictable and terrified of everything. Going out for an hour and a half and riding for half of it on the end of the buckle was a huge achievement for me. I jumped yesterday, and after hacking, the scary end of the school wasn't so scary. I went right past the mirrors for the first time since October 2012, when I was unceremoniously dumped via rodeo off my last horse.

Do I enjoy hacking? No. I didn't enjoy it at all, especially as we had a 'moment' at the end and friend had to grab the reins, but I'm pleased I did it, and I hope one day that I will enjoy it one day if I have enough good experiences.
 
An interesting question! Doesn't it depend on your age, riding experience, confidence in your horse and whether you are a laid back rider or an adrenaline junkie?
I have ridden for over 50 years and my riding is definitely on a downward slope just because I am not so balanced and strong in the saddle :eek:
Despite this I continue to challenge myself (over stuff that would be easy peasy for lots of riders!) but slight nerves give way to an adrenaline high that feels GREAT! Guess I'm still an adrenaline junkie at heart :D:D
 
Yep, but not just with horses!

Horse wise it's getting my spooky arab to hack out without taking off at leaves blowing on trees and things lol he is doing alright but we have had a couple of scares and we have had to take a few steps back. I'm also breaking my sons shetland pony to the cart so I'm constantly pushing to get on with that.

Other life wise it's me pushing myself career wise. Once my son goes to school I'm going to uni to train as a paramedic, so I'm pushing myself to get my driving license, and also a few first aid certificates as the local ambulance station want me to call the about going out shadowing some runs with them. But with no first aid experience I'm paranoid I would just be in the way, so I'm hoping to do the courses first. I'm also champing at the bit to get to college to do a few healthcare courses to gain me enough credits to do a paramedic science course at uni which will help me apply in the long run. My son is three, so I'm trying to pack in as much as possible before he goes to school and I apply for the real thing!

I'm the kind of person that pushes myself forward so much because I lag behind so easily, and I worry that if I stop pushing myself, I'll just slink away from it all haha :) The only person I worry about what they think of me is myself, so I like to try and out do myself and prove myself wrong a lot of the time... and now I sound a bit crazy :P
 
Abacus said:
Riding, I have to have something to aim for. Even though I love a chilled out hack, I want to be improving, learning and challenging myself.

OP, are you like it in other parts of life? Or is horses the outlet that lets you challenge yourself and be creative and ambitious? It isn't a bad thing... I say enjoy the hacks and the fun, but push yourself a bit too. I think some of the things that start off with 'to prove you can' become the things you love to do and are proud of.

I remember my first event... sitting waiting to go in the start box at the BCA, terrified and thinking 'why am I doing this'... but loved, loved, loved it, and have never stopped wanting more of it.
Click to expand...

That's me to a T ! I'm a bit like this in other parts of my life but more so with horses. I would probably channel it into something else though if I didn't have horses.

I do wonder why I keep doing it, and it can be a bit annoying (but in a fun way) but I have accepted that it's just a weird part of me and I just go with it. I def get those moments when I wonder what the heck I'm doing this for, and scare myself silly, but the adrenaline buzz when I've finished is why, and I have enough of a sense of self preservation not to do really stupid things!

I'm currently embarking on sj training - my horse loves xc and hunting but we haven't done much sj, so ofc I have now decided to do that for a bit. Sigh.
 
I used to be like that. I bought my horse at 30, with humble intentions of getting up to novice dressage on him. This along with a full-time job, new house, soon-to-be-husband and a wedding to arrange. I ended up putting far too much pressure on myself to be out competing. When I realised it wasn't going to be as straightforward with this particular horse as had I thought it would be I lost my confidence completely. Went right back to being a quivering wreck. I did the usual things, comparing myself to everyone else on the yard, trying to jump before I was ready, getting frustrated and being generally miserable. So the past few years have been spent rebuilding my confidence because I was determined I wasn't selling this horse as that would be admitting failure. So now I just relax and enjoy the fact that I have a fab little horse, who can turn his hoof to many things but much prefers to enjoy a good canter along the beach. My main aim from a ride now is just to enjoy it, and if I want some adrenalin I'll go for a fast hack adventure, or pop a few fences in the field. Just enough adrenalin to keep me happy.
I have always been a person with a 'plan' for life - get a job, move to a nice area, get married, get a nice house, live the horsey lifestyle, and finally have kids. I think I have managed those. My horse has taught me that putting pressure on yourself to be somebody or do something doesn't always work, and to live in the moment a bit more.
 
I used to be quite an ambitious amateur and was always out competing and setting myself goals.

I moved yards earlier this year and for some reason I've become so much more relaxed. I love nothing more than going for a nice long adventure hack or having a potter in the arena or popping some wee jumps.

I've not competed properly since July - I did a wee yard SJ day (our yard has better SJ's than most of the riding clubs!) and enjoyed that but have no plans to do anymore.

I've been taking some classical dressage lessons and the odd SJ lesson but generally I'm just enjoying riding.

I've actually decided to sell my trailer and jeep and save some money as I have the option of shared transport as Y/O has a lorry that often has empty spaces and that way I can go out and do stuff if I want but it's more or a nice treat rather than something I'm forcing myself to do!
 
Yes and no. I do put a bit of pressure on myself, but only because I know I'll feel great about it later. I'm the sort of person who will sit around all day and then have a manic tidy up 10 minutes before visitors arrive so if I don't force myself to do it I'll never do anything.

In the summer I entered an unaffiliated 90 ODE, having only ever done (BE)80s before, expecting it to be on the lenient side. It wasn't. In my class of 38, 6 people switched to the lower class, but as it was much lower (70) despite almost being in tears at the start I made myself do it. I had 2 stops (entirely my fault as they were fences I was TERRIFIED of and didn't ride them properly) but I felt so much better having got round that course than I ever would have going clear round the 70. I found out later that of the 30 who went XC, only 17 got round without getting eliminated so I was even more pleased then! I can't wait to go back next year to go clear round it!

Deep down though I knew it was within my limits. I would never push myself to do things I know I can't.
 
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