Anyone just can’t/hasn’t achieved their horsey dreams...

[fredflop]

Plenty of time to think about things during lockdown!

ive been through various horses over the past 18 years, with the main hope to get out eventing, and tbh I’ve never got anywhere.

nothing ever just seems to line up right... unsuitable horse; suitable horse but lack of time, facilities, money and transport; working away from home.... tbh the list just goes on and on. Obviously as the years have gone on, I have become more knowledgeable about training horses, and probably only now have the required knowledge to train a horse “properly”.

anyone else in the same boat as me and just never seem to achieve anything

 

[JFTDWS]

If you go by competitive results alone, I'm about as unsuccessful as they come.

But I like the phrase "You either win, or you learn". I don't consider myself unsuccessful, because I've learned so much through it all.

 

[splashgirl45]

each horse i have had i did a little better with as i learnt from each one, i only got to novice dressage and was thinking about doing some elementarys when my job got so stressful i found i just needed to hack so i could unwind, so competing went out of the window. my main problem throughout my horse ownership has been lack of money as i lurched from one month to the next using credit cards so lessons were an extravagance i couldnt justify .. my horses got everything they needed .. i have enjoyed all of my horses and even in my 70's (and still money is a problem) if my lottery numbers came up with a good lump of money i would get another horse as soon as i could and keep trying to get to elementary and maybe beyond, its still my dream

 

[scats]

I had very successful junior years as a showjumper but my next jumping horse did a catastrophic injury in the field and bam, there went the rest of my showjumping career. I didn’t have enough money for 3 horses at the time so there ended the plan.

I moved into showing and then dressage, but I never reached the same success as I had as a junior SJ. To be honest, I hated showing, it bored the life out of me. I love dressage, but I can’t afford flashy horses so have to make do with distinctly ordinary horses. Still, I enjoy training and improving ordinary horses to the best of their ability. I’ve had so many disasters over the years, and sadly lost a fair few to weird and wonderful ailments, so everyday that I can get on my horses and enjoy a hack or a schooling session is a huge win for me. I’m content with that now. I’ll leave the competitive stuff to the youngsters of society!

 

[RHM]

If you go by competitive results alone, I'm about as unsuccessful as they come.

But I like the phrase "You either win, or you learn". I don't consider myself unsuccessful, because I've learned so much through it all.

This exactly! I’ve done so little comps with my pony. We have had endless lameness issues and I’ve ploughed everything I could into getting him sound and well, while I begged, borrowed and stole rides on others horses. It’s been so painful but I wouldn’t change anything because it has made me a damn better horsewomen and person as a result. Success is not measured in how many rosettes line your walls.

 

[HashRouge]

I've been daydreaming about buying another riding horse and doing some one day eventing for ages but the stars never seem to align....not enough money, living abroad, working very long hours, unsuitable horse etc. But I don't dwell on it too much. I share a lovely horse at the moment and feel very lucky to ride him, so I don't feel too hard done by (given his propensity to spook dramatically at different coloured bits of ground, he'd be a liability XC!).

 

[Chinchilla]

...

 

[milliepops]

But I like the phrase "You either win, or you learn". I don't consider myself unsuccessful, because I've learned so much through it all.

yup

I did fairly well for a bumbling amateur at BE, but I had to give up because it was just so fantastically expensive i was getting further and further into the red trying to keep going.
That horse won quite a bit at BD but nothing very spectacular, I am never going to have the kind of horsepower you need to get to the nationals. I'm at peace with that I enjoy seeing my various no-hopers develop and improve, and learning myself along the way.

My trainer said to me once, when I was feeling despondent about being in a mid 60s rut no matter what level I rode at, the people who beat me ought to be thrashing me by 10 or 20% considering what they spent on their horses, compared to my bargain basement duffers. He's right my advanced horse is a welsh D I bought for £2. We are in the ring up against horses that cost 5 figures. I'm fine with not winning

I do also think that there's an element of making it happen. not that you can make it happen that you suddenly have an amazing lorry/yard/limitless training/awesome and perfectly sound horse, but success for many amateurs comes from riding on the days you didn't feel like it, when the weather was bad, when you were a bit tired or things weren't going brilliantly, and staying positive when you're in a trough and so on. grit and determination gets you a fair way. Its all relative, of course it's still not going to get me to the nationals, but it will get me to regionals.

 

[PSD]

I’ve ridden plenty of horses in my time but only ever owned one that I had use for. I achieved a lot with her in the 10 years I had her, I wanted to do bsja but was Wrong age for her height so we mainly did pony club. However with my 2 year old I’m hoping to do some hoys workers maybe even have a go at eventing, but I wouldn’t know where to start with that.

 

[fredflop]

In all the ODE’s that I entered, there was only one where I actually got around without being eliminated...

although to be fair I did “elimate” myself in one unaff event. Had picked up a load of sj faults, and 40 xc faults. There was another jump out on the xc course I didn’t think my horse would go over. He was in a good galloping rytham (which I didn’t normally get), so I just went around it

 

[JFTDWS]

I do also think that there's an element of making it happen. not that you can make it happen that you suddenly have an amazing lorry/yard/limitless training/awesome and perfectly sound horse, but success for many amateurs comes from riding on the days you didn't feel like it, when the weather was bad, when you were a bit tired or things weren't going brilliantly, and staying positive when you're in a trough and so on. grit and determination gets you a fair way.

With bells on. Oddly this just came up on my fb feed which seems relevant...

https://www.facebook.com/plugins/post.php?href=https://www.facebook.com/RitterDressage/photos/a.344077905637059/3249744418403712/?type=3&width=500

 

[milliepops]

With bells on. Oddly this just came up on my fb feed which seems relevant...

https://www.facebook.com/plugins/post.php?href=https://www.facebook.com/RitterDressage/photos/a.344077905637059/3249744418403712/?type=3&width=500

Yes. Thomas Ritter wrote an article called Riding Hurts which I read about 15 or more years ago, and which resonated so strongly with me at the time as I was struggling on by myself, that I can honestly say it changed my life a bit. It was about how learning to ride was about putting ego to one side, honestly approaching the task without shying away from the work and to patiently keep pushing your boulders up the training hills.. it's a bit long, but it both devastated and inspired me at the time. it's no longer on his website but the wayback machine has it
https://web.archive.org/web/20121020142052/http://classicaldressage.com/articles/hurts.html

 

[SEL]

I was a bit down a while back about broken horses and fading dreams. My OH pointed out that I have some incredible horsey memories and you need to focus on the good stuff.

I had a fair period in my 30s where ownership just wasn't practical. I had as much riding as I wanted exercising other people's horses but that's never the same. So I spent all my spare cash and holidays on exotic riding trips - those are memories I wouldn't want to trade for rosettes!!

 

[fredflop]

With bells on. Oddly this just came up on my fb feed which seems relevant...

https://www.facebook.com/plugins/post.php?href=https://www.facebook.com/RitterDressage/photos/a.344077905637059/3249744418403712/?type=3&width=500

I could literally only afford the most basic of livery yards for the past few years, with basic facilities that were all very spread out. An hours worth of riding would take three hours at the yard, and virtually impossible to do anything over winter. Adding the “project” horse I had at the time meant I could count on one hand the amount of times a year I rode.

 

[milliepops]

honestly? if I wanted it enough I'd have spent the 3 hours to ride one hour I think!
often it all boils down to priorities of some kind. i will move mountains to keep riding my horses, they've all been projects of some kind, from charity rehomers, to giveaway feral monsters, to sad auction purchases to ex racers off the track. it's hard, it's bloody hard there's no denying it, and some days it's impossible not to feel a bit negative especially if you get hit by an injury somewhere or worse.

but for me it's worth all the graft and the sacrifice and doing nothing else at all with my life because it's all I ever think about and the good days are amazing. and it's easy to forget the awfulness of winter when you're in the middle of a wonderful springtime

 

[Flyermc]

Yes i had my horse for 17 and a half years.

We did all sorts and lots of fun, but i always wanted to win a sash. It was a dream that sadly never happened but we did get lots of rosettes and amazing pro photos

 

[catembi]

Yup, me. I accidentally ended up with a brilliant horse, Catembi, & as quite a wet rider got to compete up to 1 m 15 BS, v competitive at 1 m 10 & ready to havve a crack at 1 m 20, also we amassed 9 or 10 BD points...then he got protein losing enteropathy & after a hard-fought 6-month battle, I lost him. So my last season competing 'properly' was 2006, when everything was going totally brilliantly & 1 m 10 was starting to feel like a riding club clear round. He died in Feb 2007. I replaced him with Adrian, whose 1/2 brother came 2nd in the Hickstead Derby in 2007 & whose full brother retired after the water jump. I spent all my redundancy money on him, he was jumping Disco at 5, then it all went horribly wrong - EPSM. Then I got Trev the ex-racer who was a serial self harmer & impossible to keep sound & in work. KS, ulcers, KS surgery that didn't work. Then husband no 3 who embezzled a lot of my money so I had to sell my lorry, Adrian, the dr flaps for my Wow. Got divorced again, moved on, got myself back in a good place... Then Summer, bought unseen from Ireland, undisclosed shiver, bad tempered, spooky. Then took my time looking for Cody, had a fab summer with him doing all sorts, started having behavioural & performance issues - DNA tested & he has n/P1 EPSM. Aaaaaaaarrrrrggggghhhh...!!!!!! I am now riding as my main horse a rising 5 New Forest that I backed last year because I was bored & had never backed anything before. She is no more than about 12.2. I look stupid on her, but luckily only weigh 49kg & I'm 5 ft 1. We did some loading practise this evening as realistically she is going to be my horse for the summer. I have 4 here already (Cody, Trev, Florence the shetland & Tiffany the NF) and I will get shot if I get a 5th. I have spent SO much money & SO much effort, & every time I get the tiniest bit of success in any direction - it all gets snatched away. I try so hard to get everything absolutely right, and... **sighs** Pony squishing it is :-(

 

[Bernster]

Interesting question. Depends how you define your goals I think. I’ve not achieved my aim of doing a be80 (or any 80 ode) but I’ve done a ton of fabulous fun things along the way. I try to aim for realistic challenges so ive adjusted them as I’ve gone (but certainly had moments of struggling and feeling like I’ve failed as well or should be doing better).

 

[daffy44]

Yes. Thomas Ritter wrote an article called Riding Hurts which I read about 15 or more years ago, and which resonated so strongly with me at the time as I was struggling on by myself, that I can honestly say it changed my life a bit. It was about how learning to ride was about putting ego to one side, honestly approaching the task without shying away from the work and to patiently keep pushing your boulders up the training hills.. it's a bit long, but it both devastated and inspired me at the time. it's no longer on his website but the wayback machine has it
https://web.archive.org/web/20121020142052/http://classicaldressage.com/articles/hurts.html

I hadnt read that before MP, I really couldnt love it more if I tried, its absolutely brilliant, and every word resonates with me.

 

[Leo Walker]

Just to put it into perspective, I shattered my spine, got really fat due to lack of exercise, meds and misery and now cant ride at all. I took up driving and I love it, but sometimes I feel like crying when I see other people going out hacking. Driving wise I just started to get going and went blind in one eye, closely by the pony needing to be retired and so began 18 months of very painful treatment and utter misery. I had to start again with a youngster as I didn't have the funds for an established horse.

Now I have the pony, transport and carriage etc and the virus has put a stop to that. If I think about it too much I get panicky. At some point I will go blind and all this will come crumbling down. Every time I do something it might be the last time. So it all going wrong again now is just a massive kick in the teeth to me.

But before anyone goes feeling sorry for me, I am very, very lucky. I have a partner who supports me, a nice house, 2 gorgeous ponies, a fancy 4x4, a big trailer to take the pony and carriage, and 3 dogs who I love beyond words. I also have my chickens, I've spent all last week building a chicken coop and run at the yard so I can have more chickens

If you had told me that I'd have all that when I was a child, I'd have been over the moon!

 

[JFTDWS]

honestly? if I wanted it enough I'd have spent the 3 hours to ride one hour I think!

I have - and do. I keep 3 horses on field livery with no facilities. On clay, all year round. I work stupidly hard to keep them happy, healthy and in work all year around. That's possible because they are my priority. I work my life around them because it's worth it to me.

That's what the article is about - if you want it enough, you do what it takes to make it happen. You can't make yourself win, but you can make yourself learn. It's fine if people have different priorities, or if they want to have a more fulfilling career, or family life - but most of us can't have everything. It's the choices we make that define who we are. My horses are a massive part of who I am. I'm OK with that, but it takes work and it takes difficult choices. People have different priorities, and that's great too.

 

[milliepops]

Interesting question. Depends how you define your goals I think.

I think this is definitely relevant. My horsey daydream might be to be utterly amazing and ride at the olympics... that's what I mean about making it happen being relative to what's actually possible

 

[skint1]

My dreams are quite small, I just want to hack and do the odd pole clinic and camp with friends. Didn't start riding til later in life, I just can't get it right though for many reasons that are all of my own design and I begin to think maybe I am always destined to be ground crew.

 

[Flame_]

Yeah, I used to dream about eventing and had a few sports horses but it went, "lame", "lame", "crazy", then by the time I got the one that was actually suitable for eventing I had embraced failure, come to terms with my own limitiations of money, time, ability, effort, etc and didn't have the heart, stomach, drive for trying to be "competitive" anymore.

My old PBA was living on borrowed time so my daydreams strayed to a pure bred arab and a return to my early dabbles in endurance. I'm crap at that too but I don't feel like I've anything to prove anymore. I have two really cool little horses and a sound old truck so I'm living the dream

 

[splashgirl45]

agree milliepops, in my head i would love to train and ride a horse at gp level, obviously thats never going to happen at my time of life. i have been very lucky as my friend was a gp rider and i had lessons on her horse so did all of the movements with her telling me exactly which buttons to press, that gave me such a thrill but if i could do a few prelim and novices on a horse that i had bought and schooled , that would be amazing.....just that tantilising lottery win needed

 

[SatansLittleHelper]

I think it depends on how you define your goals.
I've achieved nothing in terms of winnings etc but I also have zero competitive interest. I prefer to have lots of fun and try to improve myself. My current young horse is a super boy and I'm hoping to get out and maybe do a little jumping and x country...I quite fancy a bit of TREC.
I'm 40 next year and I have chronic health issues and very limited funds so I'm more than happy to "achieve " doing a bit of everything, simply for fun

 

[Sussexbythesea]

Yes i had my horse for 17 and a half years.

We did all sorts and lots of fun, but i always wanted to win a sash. It was a dream that sadly never happened but we did get lots of rosettes and amazing pro photos

I finally realised my dream of winning a sash at the Hickstead Sunshine Tour in fact I’ve got two from there after having my older horse for 13/14yrs at the time. However I’ve never won a trophy which I would love. I’ve come second in a lot of classes with a trophy just pipped at the post.

I wanted to do affiliated dressage but never managed to have a horse sound enough to make it worth it. I’m much less bothered now although if I had my own transport I’d be keener to have more goals as I could get out and about more easily.

 

[daffy44]

I totally agree that it depends on how you define your goals, and also what are your priorities and motivations. The answers to that are very personal, so I really feel that achievements can only really be defined by the individual that set them. A very competitive person may measure achievements in terms of competition results and regard the non competitive persons achievements as less than their own, but they are no less valid to that person, it all comes down to the individual.

 

[fredflop]

I have - and do. I keep 3 horses on field livery with no facilities. On clay, all year round. I work stupidly hard to keep them happy, healthy and in work all year around. That's possible because they are my priority. I work my life around them because it's worth it to me.

That's what the article is about - if you want it enough, you do what it takes to make it happen. You can't make yourself win, but you can make yourself learn. It's fine if people have different priorities, or if they want to have a more fulfilling career, or family life - but most of us can't have everything. It's the choices we make that define who we are. My horses are a massive part of who I am. I'm OK with that, but it takes work and it takes difficult choices. People have different priorities, and that's great too.

if the horse I owned was established and riding, life would have been far easier. As it was I simply didn’t have the facilities to give the project horse the education it needed. The earliest I could get to the yard was 1830 due to work, and after a demanding stressful day. Just made it virtually impossible to do anything

 

[Bellaboo18]

I competed a lot when I was younger and did well...I look back and think why didn't I realise how good I had it? It all seemed so easy and I just wanted to jump bigger and go quicker...

I had a break, got a new mare, had fun for a year and then last year she was on /off lame and we had one step forward, two back. Now all I want is to hack around the fields and go to the odd fun ride.
There's definitely a lesson there for me ?

Anyway, I've got another little mare, completely by accident and I can't help but look at her and think we're going to do something special (hacking round those fields!).

It's good to dream but also good to appreciate what you've got when you've got it.