Anyone successfully improved hacking/ general confidence and how!?

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thehorsediva

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As in the title really....

Due to various reasons which I wont go in to in my confidence with horses is absolutely shot, especially out hacking. I am absolutely petrified of being bolted with. Although I still absolutely love horses and couldnt live without them. Has anyone successfully improved their confidence and whats worked for you? I have a fab, supportive instructor who is helping. Was thinking of poss trying out mechanical horse riding lesson? Any other top tips? Am reading Kelly Marks Perfect Confidence book...any other suggestions? Open to anything!!!
 
I spent quite a lot of time on my backside wondering where the horse was.
I got an australian saddle which gave me the confidence to get to know my horse better..i stilll use it when he has had considerable time off!
 
I felt like this after a few nasty falls. I nearly gave up riding but when my friend wanted a horse on loan. I went with her to see one and ended up buying him. We shared him for a while and then I realised he was not going to buck me off, run away or do anything nasty. I ended up having him all to myself and it was the best thing I ever did.

You need a horse you can trust (which I know takes time) I am sure you will gradually get your confidence back.I have gone from doing a risk assessment before I canter to really enjoying my rides and will go anywhere on him.

ruftysdad
 
The other book you may want to read is Riding With the Mind by Mary Wanless. It is directed mostly to the competitive rider but she has tips/exersices realizations everyone can use.

Other than that.....get a bomb proof-been there done that will not spook for carrot solid citizen and keep riding
 
This man is good. http://www.perry-wood.com/pages/horseman.htm so worth reading some of his stuff. I had similar issues. It was not the fear of falling off,it was the fear of being out of control.BOLTING. I have been bolted with.The tree was too high to jump and too low to duck under. My nose took the impact! And on another occasion (different horse!) he bolted across a main road. Thankfully there was no traffic. I have regained my confidence by buying a youngster and backing him myself. I think the thing that has helped is loads of groundwork. There have been times when I was too scared to take said youngster (a 17h WB)out of the field. I worked in tiny steps. I lead him out of the field for a bowl of food. Then up the lane for a bowl of food. Stretching my comfort zone together with his and building up his trust in me and more importantly my trust in him. I can now hack anywhere. He listens and yes he does spin and bolt now and then,but I have learned to sit deep,put my leg on,gather him into the bridle and relish the 'passage'. These techniques I learned here http://www.lucindamcalpine.com/ ........I now wish he would go into flight mode more often.
 
HI

I read the book by Kelly Marks too and thought it was the best book ever. I wrote a glowing review on amazon as it really helped my riding. I wouldn't hack out at all on any horse before reading that book and use the following to control my nerves.

1. Ride on a horse I trust
2. Make my instructor ride it first, for example I would follow on foot and then change over when I felt confident. (does depend on where you hack and the horse)
3. Riding out with someone means I can talk to them and it takes my mind off my nerves.
4. When starting to think negative faults, I would picture the ride, the route, where I would walk, trot, etc and picture it going perfectly.
5. Set myself goals and only concentrate on the goals.

Before reading Kelly Marks, all I thought about was not falling off and it restricted my riding. Now before every lesson I have a goal and picture the horse and I achieving it.
 
I did a lot of ground work before I got on and I also decided that it was perfectly acceptable to get off if I needed to.

I had some NLP sessions with a very good lady and slowly but surely my confidence started to come back.

Brightbay on here has a system that she uses "Bore Yourself to Bravery" and it works a treat. You literally only get on and off if needs be. Once you are bored with that you can add a wee walk for maybe 20 yards. Again, once you are bored, move on :D.

I went from doing all unaffiliated sj, xc etc at about 3' to ending up back on the leadrein getting lead up and down the lane as my confidence had shattered (no real reason, I still dont know why it went). I am now back more confident than ever (although I only jump baby jumps now but thats cos I am old and stiff and fat!). I will now happily hack anywhere, either on my own or in company and at any speed :D

Dont panic, it will come back!
 
I worked with a NLP/Emotional Freedom Technique person, Jo Cooper, I know other people here have used her and also had good results.
I am happy to pass on contact details if you PM me:)
 
Don't ride without a tight fitting body protector on. The huggy feeling gives you confidence and your confidence infects the horse.

When you get scared, sing. I find "I'm a pink toothbrush" best, but my friend likes "Whenever I feel afraid, I whistle a happy tune" which is appropriate :D
 
Sorry to hear you are having troubles, I also lack confidence after my injury and I find taking my horse out walking in hand makes a world of difference. I just feel I can anticipate her reactions so much better and see her behaviour from a different dimension so to speak.Sometimes not riding really takes the pressure off until you think 'god I haven't ridden in ages, can't wait for a good gallop!' Which I suspect might fill you with nerves right now as it did me for a while! I know some horses can be a pain to deal with in hand but little and often is good.

Failing that, book yourself a hack at a riding school on the most sensible horse going, there's no shame in admitting you need a confidence giver just to get you back on your feet!

Failing that, is there anyone with balls of steel who could ride your horse while you borrow a real sensible one? Maybe you just need to see evidence that he won't bomb off and you can control him, but without putting yourself in a stressful position and making yourself worried. Obviously that is if it is an issue with your confidence and not the horse just being a horror.
 
Time. My new lad who was fun in his slightly crazy comfort zone at the race yard suddenly became a bit much for me. I got my big furry baby when I never dreamed I would, see my beetle threads for history, and discovered my baby scared me a bit. I've had him long enough now to know he will buck but won't drop me, he's not scared of anything out hacking (except cattle) and when he naffs off if I pull harshly and shout at him he stops, not kind but safer than galloping off down grass verge! Now I know he won't hurt me the trust I instinctively had at race yard is coming back. There he was the safest feeling most fun of my rides, once home I was comparing him subconciously to a totally different type of horse that I already own. My fault not his, he's a rock star really.
 
thehorsediva said:
As in the title really....

Due to various reasons which I wont go in to in my confidence with horses is absolutely shot, especially out hacking. I am absolutely petrified of being bolted with. Although I still absolutely love horses and couldnt live without them. Has anyone successfully improved their confidence and whats worked for you? I have a fab, supportive instructor who is helping. Was thinking of poss trying out mechanical horse riding lesson? Any other top tips? Am reading Kelly Marks Perfect Confidence book...any other suggestions? Open to anything!!!
Click to expand...

I learned to ride - cows first - and was once chased by an irate cowman across three fields before giving him the slip by laying doggo under a hedge like a Viet Cong!

I rode like a Cossack - none of this equitation nonesense! I had cowboys and injun wallpaper and I longed for the day that I could jump off, run along side and vault back on like they did in the movies - but soon found out just how much it hurts when I got it wrong!

I was also in love with the IDEA of riding and being with horses - once I had the chance - and many of my experiences of everything have been "in at the deep end" - found that the reality was so very different to how I had imagined it - look how far the horse's head was for starters!!! And that yawning gap between it and the saddle! My god - he keeps putting his head down while moving!!!

In my day, it was possible to turn up at one place with three and sixpence ( 17.5p) and be given a good sort of 14.3 - 15hh to take out for an hour without any checks or safety gear in sight - the only instructions being to make sure you didn't break into another hour! These ponies plodded out of the yard as if tethered to concrete blocks - a bit better if a lead horse was out ridden by a capable older girl ( must have been all of 12!) and then - at the slightest suspicion of turning round....... HAhahahahahhahahh they're off! This is how I had my first jumping lesson as the pony I was riding came upsides another on a single path so that we either sailed over a ditch or into it! I have a very clear memory of looking down at the bits of rusting iron glaring up at me! But I managed to stay on - after a style - and after a few more goes - I got the hang of "posting" as it was known then - well, I mean??? What else do you have to do eh? Just look at me ORDINARY PEOPLE!! Get this Rising Trot eh - I am a member of the Super Race! Ten years old.

I think what I'm trying to tell you - it's whatever turns you on - fear is some folks excitement and vis versa. Mrs FirstClass started to ride and was very good - in an indoor school - with an International School of Equitation, BHSI close by....... but - as soon as she went out and felt some of that "Call of the Wild" - she very quickly got off and gave the reins to me!

An old hand once asked me - "are you frightened of horses?" "Oh I love' em" I said. And he said, "I asked you whether you were frightened of them not if you loved 'em."

And there IS a big difference. There have been many times when even my lovely mare frightened me - though by this time, long experence had given me the confidence to see beyond it ( not that you'd have noticed because us blokes have to man up!) You'll have to use your judgement as to whether you can master the situation - or find another way of getting your "fix" - to do otherwise would be dangerous to all concerned.

Good Luck.
 
Oh and I sing to him, to tune of popeye the sailor man, 'i'm beetle the grumpy bum, I pull faces at my mum, I love her really and she loves me dearly, i'm beetle the grumpy bum, i'm beetle the grumpy bum, I go hacking with my mum, I pull mean faces but I have nice paces, i'm beetle the grumpy bum.' we have about 5 or 6 verses now! Mostly sing when i'm chilling with washing line reins and feet out of stirrups these days!
 
Just over a year ago I was absolutely petrified that I was going to fall off every horse I got on. I'm not sure exactly what caused it, i think it was a 'fall' (i somersaulted and landed on my knees- didn't hurt but shook me up and seriously knocked my confidence). Every time I got on a horse I would lean forwards just waiting to fall off.
Anyway, a very very lovely friend (eriskayowner ;) ) offered me the option of riding her very lovely 13hh eriskay pony, mouse. I started on the lunge so I could focus on my appalling position and then we started hacking out a few times a week with my friend and her horse.
Anyway, to cut a very long story short, I'm getting there now. I trust mouse so much and never think 'I'm going to fall off' I just smile, bring my shoulders back and enjoy myself!!
It does get better! X
 
Singing when hacking alone- I want you back by Take That is a fave! Then as many lessons as you can afford with an instructor who understands you and your horse. Last weekend mine suggested xc schooling in a month or so and I whooped. If she'd suggested it six months ago I'd have run screaming for brown breeches!!!
 
No helpful comments I'm afraid, but every time I read the thread title I read it as:

Anyone successfully improved hacking/ general confidence and howl?

It's amusing me :D
 
FfionWinnie said:
I'd think get a horse that is suited would be step one. If you have one you are scared of that won't help.
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Totally agree with this...as much as I miss Jess(RIP)..she was a bit of a handfull at the best of times. Dan is the opposite..can be strong but never naughty...has brought me on leaps and bounds.
 
I didn't find the Kelly Marks books helped at all. Perry Wood and Michael Peace were good I think. Also Paul McKenna's 'beat stress' hypnosis CD!

I kept my horse as I was too bloody minded to let him beat me!

It took a long time but I realised I had to stop beating myself up about it , ignore bitchy gossippers and only do what I could manage. Even if it was a 5 min walk up the road. I wore a body protector (bravery jacket) and put a strap across my saddle's d-rings (berjeezus handle). I sang, talked to my horse, hacked out with others. I celebrated every little achievement and I began to enjoy it. I joined the riding club which meant I HAD to do stuff like jump. There was an instructor there who just used to shout at me! Gradually the enjoyment slowly replaced the nerves. There was never anything wrong with my horse. He's a star and I will happily gallop him alone on the beach even though I'm nearly 4 months pregnant, without the body protector. Still have the strap though! Don't overface yourself and recognise it will take time. Like maybe a year.
 
Really, in the long run, it's down to the horse. I would trust my horse with anything, but he's a very trustworthy horse!! I feel safe on some horses and not on others, and it has nothing to do with sharpness or spookiness, it's just that undefinable feeling of 'clicking' with an animal.

Find the horse that is right for you, and your confidence will come naturally :)
 
Just to say, thehorsediva, am also going through a crisis of confidence while hacking at the moment for no real reason other than pony was a bit fresh last time out and I just got it into my head that he will be off with me...he has never set off with me whilst out *touches wood* and barely spooks so I know it's mostly in my head, although I am sure he is picking up my alarm and that is reinforcing my fear so a vicious circle really. I try just to go out with understanding friends I trust, keep chatting away, and try to ride as if you believe everything is going to be alright, even if you don't feel that way on the inside. Good luck. :)
 
There are loads of good ideas on here.
I overhorsed myself with a idx..selling was not an option because that was just passing the problem on. I was lucky in that there was no rush to ride. I actually gave up on the idea of riding and just tackled all his issues from the ground. As time progressed we built a bond up and i felt like getting back on again,
Looking back the horse was unsettled and i was frightened so the whole thing was an accident waiting to happen..when i did get on in a school I only did what i could do with confidence..edging slowly out of my comfort zone bit by bit when i felt ready. I rode in a stock saddle (im not proud)
I thought at the time i was teaching the horse..with hindsight i realise that he was the teacher and he taught me so much.
 
Over the past 5 years I have gone from having to be led around the field on my loan horse (who I had hoped would bring back my confidence after it was shattered when I was bolted on the road with by another horse - caused a car accident - thought I was going to die) to happily hacking out on my own, schooling and even a bit of jumping. The main thing that I still need to work on is my open canter in a group - I am ok for a while and then if I feel a touch of her strength on the bit as she gets really keen I panic, clam up and naturally she goes faster. I haven't galloped since the dreaded road accident though - I will this year.

I got my confidence back very slowly. I had a break of about a year and then found the most steady cob I could to share and slooooowly built up to hacking her around the village. This mare hadn't really been taught to canter under saddle and that was fine by me. It took about 2 months for me to brave going off the end of the farm track on my own, so I spent a lot of time with her, doing a little bit of walk and trot in the school, hacking out down the track which was about a mile long. It really was a slow process. I eventually trusted her and found that I was happy to hack her for a couple of hours - we only ever did walk and trot.

When I decided I was ready to step it up a gear I went back to having lessons and before I knew it I was out trying different horses from all over the country, cantering them on my trial rides. Horse number 11 was my current mare. I'd trust her with my life - my heart knows that but my head is still working on it. I will be galloping this Summer :)

Take off the pressure, loan the horse out if it isn't suitable. Find something that is and stay in walk for as long as it takes!
 
Me :)

I took a nasty fall of my youngster last year, on the roads, alone. Long story short I took a lot of skin off my left arm and leg, knackered the ligaments in my knee, and was terrified of getting back on again - to a point where I'd sit on him, start shaking, burst in tears, get off and claim I wasn't riding again.

Most people told me I needed to "just do it". So, I tried. I had a new saddle fitted up for him, got some company to go with, and did it. We were out 20mins. Bunny hops, bucks, planting, spins, spooks, tanking, I came back in tears and my legs were sore from having gripped the entire way round.

I was on the verge of giving up and selling (5mths after the fall) when I decided to grab the bull by the horns and move yards, to somewhere with a school. Started off with groundwork. Then getting back on, walking round the school, getting back off. As long as it went vaguely well, that's all that mattered. Confidence grew with that, few tiny steps of trot. Repeat logic. Eventually got to the stage where I WANTED to try canter. Repeat logic.

At this point we started hacking out. I asked a lady on the yard with a sensible 18yo schoolmaster if she'd be willing to go with us, and explained the issue. She was really supportive. We started with a 10min walk up the road and back, with my boy pinned behind hers (if you have more schoolmasters on the yard, try one in front and one to your side - pin in so he CAN'T go anywhere). He spooked, he bounced, he jogged as close to the back of that horse as he possibly could, but we survived. Next time, a little further. Time after that, a little further. It also helped me to, in the meantime, ride a friend's schoolmaster who would look after me out hacking. She was a superstar for making me want to ride again.

Key: Keep it short and slow, stick with confidence givers and don't push yourself. Only go further when you feel you want to (believe me, one day you do). I'm now back to a stage (10mths on from fall) where I'll get on my boy in a gale, put him into canter, and laugh when he slams the brakes on and throws himself around the school with his back end in the air. It can be done, it just takes time and patience. PM if you like, I know how much it can you down!
 
Hi it definately is possible... ( some of these points have probably been covered.

* If you have a friend with a total bombproof horse , ride him/her * let your friend ride your horse !

* Have you confidence leading your horse out in hand??? This is a really good trust building exercise

* Have someone accompany you on foot

* Ride on a loose rein, horse is more likely to tense up if you are tense! I know this is easier said than done but it does work, oh & stick a neck strap on so you have something to cling onto to keep you from tensing with your hands.

* Hack out AFTER a lunging or riding session so the horse isn't overly fresh!

* Join in with some beginner ride outs to help increase your confidence.

* Steadily increase distance out hacking - even if on day one you just walk 20 yards up the road!

* Have your i-pod on in one ear, music can be distracting

* Oh & try a couple of drops of Rescue Remedy:)
 
Thank you everyone!!!! SO happy to get some responses and loads of great ideas and so good to know I am not on my own and can get over it. Haven't ridden for two and half weeks due to snow, was feeling particularly nervous but got back on in gale winds and he was good as gold. New horse is lovely boy n has only spooked in hand so prob feel better on top that leading him out. Tried to do bit of singing but mind went blank so think I will move radio round to school or use iPod next time lol. Hoping to maybe go out for first time with lovely lady on yard n her horse soon. Think once I have stepped out the yard I will feel a bit better about hacking him as he is a good boy. Just building it up in my head so much!! Will look into other books/ resources you have given me as not finding Kelly marks one v effective yet but I haven't finished so not giving up yet.

One thing to say though THANK YOU so much everyone xxxxxx
 
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