Anyone's OH moan at you for "gadding off with the horse every weekend"

[Patches]

I didn't get to go hunting yesterday and I'm still sulking!

I'm 38 and feel like a little girl who has to ask permission from not just my hubby, but the in-laws (the farmhouse is split in two, so we live next door).

It's not like I went the weekend before and I had no plans to go again until the new year as we have a puppy arriving this weekend. Hubby spent most the afternoon asleep infront of the tv, so it's not like I missed out on an amazing "family day".

GAH!

I can see me not going again now.

 

[Digger123]

Yep but as I pointed out I have been a golf widow since my son was born.Hmm had son = hubby takes up golf again.
It got easier as I used to take the boy with me and he would help feed the cattle etc while I was with my horse.
They get over it after a while but sometimes, just sometimes you have to let the think they have got the upper hand. So I would say carry on sulking make his life a misery and then he will be only to glad to let you go and play !!

 

[spacefaer]

no

mine's more passionate about hunting than me! He only moans when he's at work and I go hunting without him....

 

[SpottedCat]

No, but then I wouldn't ask. I enter stuff, put it in the calendar on the Mac and if there is something OH or I specifically want to do that is not horsey/biking/climbing related then we make sure it is in there! Our hen/stag nights have been arranged around competition dates, ditto our wedding/honeymoon(s) and TBH it would not occur to me not to go somewhere if there was nothing specific planned with OH - as I say, I would not even ask.

As you say, you are 38, you do not actually need to ask permission to go.

 

[AmyMay]

Don't ask for permission - just inform that you are going, simples :0)

And don't you dare stop doing something that you so thoroughly enjoy!!!!



.

 

[SunshineTallulah]

Do it anyway.

Esp if all you are missing out on is an afternoon on the sofa!!!!!

If he was that bothered, as SC said, then he could get in first and ask you to keep that day free, as my OH does, otherwise he knows he has little hope of me being avail!

 

[ester]

get him started on golf, thats what my mum did, works a treat as he is gone half the day on a sunday anyway. The 4x4 was bought under the pretext that he could take it to golf but that rarely happens :grin:

though you might then be abandoning the kids!!

 

[turkana]

So you gave up your hunting, to then spend the day alone? As your OH was aleep he might as well not have been there!
Next time simply tell him that you're going & if he moans tell him what happened yesterday.
And as for your in laws, what has it got to do with them? How you spend your time is none of their business.

 

[joe_carby]

mine just gets jelous cos i get to go twice a week and she can only go sat haha

 

[HoHum]

Mine helps me get the horse ready, hooks up the trailer, comes to the meet, ocassionally follows for a while, is there when I get back to help unload, clean the trailer and park it away again....
I know I am very lucky and more than a little smug, but maybe getting him involved with the social side would help?

 

[Ditchjumper2]

No. He comes and hunts too. He has been 21 days so far this season....more than me!

 

[RunToEarth]

My OH whips in, so my problem seems to be doing something that isn't hunt related, which never really bothers me. I love the fact we both love the same thing, apart from when he makes me swap horses with him...

 

[JoBo]

All the time, but I just ignore him and do what I want to anyway, he has all his hobbies and it’s not like we have kids!
It’s more that he doesn’t think I should take time off work to go on a Wednesday as I lose a days pay.

 

[CrazyMare]

Thankfully my OH is horsey, but doesn't hunt - his horse has done 8 seasons, but OH is still a novice.

I go up first thing, get ready, and he mucks out, or plays with my yearling while I'm out.

I never ask permission, but OH works shifts so often hes working anyway.

 

[Enfys]

I never asked, it was taken for granted that I would hunt on a Saturday, and during the week too, somehow I used to fit in a few hours between school hours.

Sometimes it was a bit awkward if he was away on exercise or whatever, but I had two grannies in the next village and one of them usually at least came to the Meets, so I still went.

I needed my hunting fix and was a miserable cow if I didn't go. After January SAD used to get the better of me and I turned the horse away and sulked anyway because I couldn't hunt because I felt so bleurgh.

Now I don't get SAD, but I also haven't hunted for 3 years, reading hunting reports and seeing photos always makes me very sad, especially around this time of year.

 

[skewby]

Now I don't get SAD, but I also haven't hunted for 3 years, reading hunting reports and seeing photos always makes me very sad, especially around this time of year.

Aw Blitzenfys, why don't you go?? Sounds like you miss it dreadfully x

 

[JenHunt]

Nope, not any more, OH learnt to ride and goes hunting too!

 

[Legs11]

Sorry to Hijack and I have probably said this on far too many posts but Jenhunt - I LOVE your horse!! Gorgeous!!

OH Shoots regularly and would never dream of asking me to swap horsey arrangements around to suit him - Unless it was something very important.

We have our own hobbies, but both take interest in each others too.....

I think the reason we get on so damn well is because we spend so much time apart!!

 

[skewby]

I don't have an OH...but the main criterion when considering one, is "does he have a life??"! Basically I am consumed by my hobby, I could not be doing with anyone resenting it. Had it before, will never go there again!

Patches you MUST go out again soon, we need to hear more reports on your lovely naughty mare! Just think...last Sat could have been the magic day she settled...

 

[SueEllen]

Yep, but dont ask permission! Its a ballencing act you will figure it out.

 

[tootsietoo]

You've just got to make sure it all balances out. Sounds like he needs to get something of his own to do of a Saturday!

I've just got on again after 3 years of not riding because of babies. DH is being amazingly supportive, but I think that's because he definitely believes that everyone needs to have a passion in life, and also when we got together I was hardcore hunting and he spent many a Saturday abandoned in my house while went off! So he knew what he was signing up for!

However, I know I won't hunt again like I used to for a while, as it wouldn't be fair on him and we wouldn't get to spend time together enough. I am quite jealous of people like spacefaer and rosiepiimms with hunting OHs - it must be amazing to share a great day's hunting with your beloved.

 

[millyspaniel]

My OH hates my horses and would love me to sell them in a flash. Its not going to happen!
We argue over them constantly.........he needs to get a hobby or something as he is so bitter about me spending time with them. All his family are non-horsey even my 2 kids dont like it so its just me, luckily though everyone else who lives around here is 100% horse mad and everyone has them.
Its funny as am from the town and have been bought up with horses yet he is from a beautiful little villiage in the deepest shropshire and he hates them
Them horses will be the death of our relationship, but do i care? nope so long as i have my horses am happy

 

[JenHunt]

Sorry to Hijack and I have probably said this on far too many posts but Jenhunt - I LOVE your horse!! Gorgeous!!

why, thank you! I think he is, and don't really notice his spots now, but he's very handsome, even if i do say so myself!

 

[montydonkey]

Yes! He moans about having to get up early but he wouldn't miss it. He loves following on foot out hunting - there's a little group of them all pile into a 4x4 and giggle like a group of girls! He also drives the lorry back home. In the summer he comes showing with me and does the "boy" jobs like screwing in studs and cooking bacon sarnies and laughing at the fat bossy pony mum's. He perspective is that I would go with him so he can either a) hardley see me or b) come along and sulk or c) come along and have a laugh. Luckily for me he chooses C