Are horsey people too judgemental?

Yes, and it can seriously put you off people!

I know / knew an old lady who is the walking horse encyclopedia. What she doesn't know about horses isn't worth knowing. I utterly respected her and her horse(wo)manship. She's highly respected by others in these parts too.

Until I moved my boys close by.

It started with WHY weren't they exercised daily. WHY weren't they broken to harness? She wound my field owner into hysteria, saying i was a rubbish owner because the boys weren't competing (one 30yr old shetland, one miniature!)

Then the best (and I haven't spoken to her since) she advised my completely non horsey field owner to have the vet out to my old boy and bill me because it was apparently clear he had a deep infection. WTF??? There was NO swelling, he was 100% fine. Even the vet was bemused!
The 'infection' was a crusty willy! NOT infected, crusty! He;s always had a crusty willy, and my vet sedates him for me when he does jabs so i can clean it because he won't let me near it otherwise. It's flaky, dry, not bliimin infected! But she had this field owner almost believing his hind quarters would fall off.
Then there were the rugs that were needed over winter, and the lack of hard feed :rolleyes:

The final straw was a phonecall from said field owner "******* says she's DISGUSTED with your horse care, those ponies are neglected, WILD!!!"

I've been around horses my whole flipping life, and not managed to kill one yet. Funny that.
:rolleyes:

I keep out of the horsey scene now, I do what i do and go home, have NO involvement with others. I rarely discuss my boys with anyone, never post photos on the internet (not even FB). because it's my buisness and mine only.
The only people I discuss them with is my friend who owns the yard and with the little' un's previous mum.
 
I think horses for most women are a passion and not a sport.I certainly have cared for them since I was a child and have gone from begging rides as a child, working with them as a teenager,to pony club Mum and now I own eight of varying degrees of decrepitude, a bit like me.
I have been really fortuate to to see the tough not so nice side of 'horsemanship', to really proffesional riders of a high standard. All I can say is you learn from it all,if its only not what to do.
A lot of horse owners now a days have perhaps only had very limited experience and certainly most have only one horse to care for. So because you do not something the way they are taught or are used to, they seem to judge it as wrong,instead if thinking thats another way of doing it and evaluating the outcome.
I just think you have to learn as much as you can, admit ignorance and have a tough skin.
I do think that some livery yards become a focus of back biteing and it takes a strong YO to stop cliques ganging up. I will probabely be shot down inflames but it usually starts when the liveries spend more time talking about what they are going to do than actually doing it.
 
yes definatly hence why i opted out of livery yards and rented my own land my daughter would have been a nervous wreck now if i hadn"t
 
itsme123 said:
I keep out of the horsey scene now, I do what i do and go home, have NO involvement with others. I rarely discuss my boys with anyone, never post photos on the internet (not even FB). because it's my buisness and mine only.
The only people I discuss them with is my friend who owns the yard and with the little' un's previous mum.
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Yep, agree with you here on this one!

We have our own place now, and yes...some liveries.

As long as they abide by the field rules (few and far between, no kids in the paddocks, poo-pick and don't forget to lock the gate on the way out!) then I leave them to it. I tell them when to worm and move them from paddock to paddock as the grass dictates.....

No-one tells me what to do with my horses anymore. One or two in the past have TRIED....but good ole rude Dragonslayer uses those two immortal words... 'F... ..f'....and those who dared 'try' to tell me what to do, have recieved a good ole tongue-lashing. Haven't had bother for years now!

I go where I want, how I want, and do what I want....yes, I put a few pics on FB....and once or twice friends have made comments, it's amazing what sarcasm will do, no more comments now except from the family going 'ooo....and ahhhh!'....

Live and let live as someone said. You get on with your life, and I'll get on with mine...

:D
 
Definitely, horsey people are the most judgemental I've met. And it's more painful when they judge you because it's something most of us feel really passionatly about and try really hard at.

I don't mind being corrected or being given advice at all, in fact I lap it up because I'm not the most experienced and i'd rather be told than carry on getting it wrong. But there's a difference between being given friendly, well meaning advice and smug, self righteous direction.

Saying that, I haven't really been given any stupid advice but have been judged many a time, including by a nasty instructor who told me I was a numpty and the horse could tell because "he knows the difference between idiots and riders because idiots don't have a contact" well thanks alot, i'll just overcome a lifelong bad riding habit in ten seconds because you called me an idiot...money well spent!
 
starsnrunes said:
Thats what I do. Slip the bridle over his nose, let him have his initial toss, then bit in and he gets a polo straight away (they're in the same hand so he takes both at the same time, and luckily he's a total polo-whore so it wins over the dislike of the bit, lol) then over the ears...It's wierd as he doesn't refuse to open his mouth and is fine once the bits in. He's actually alot better than he used to be. It's just unfortunately my sharer isn't experienced/quick/tall enough to manage it staight away even though she tries the same principal. I think my next stage will be teaching him to lower his head, even if it's just a little to help her out.

He had to be sedated for the dentist last time we had them too, I think (I was away at the time) that it was the bit that holds the mouth open that he wasn't happy with having on. I think he's been socked in the mouth by a previous rider in the past.

Thanks for the help tho.
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Another suggestion and I am not being judgemental here so please hear me out. Have you ever considered going bitless with your horse? Only asking as my cob would act headshy around his bridle a lot and would try and evade you when putting it on. Since switching to bitless he doesn't evade it. Maybe worth a try perhaps?
 
Suggestions aren't judgemental Cazee34, they are helpful and give others ideas to try new things.
A judgemental person would have said you're doing it all wrong, use a bitless bridle. Tut some folk, how long have u had horses etc...

Its all about how something is worded really, I just think some horsey folk often struggle to word things using the respect and manners they would use on any other subject they might discuss, its like all tact and diplomacy disappears if horses are the subject!
Hell u even see on here people ripping into others for grammer and spelling mistakes....thats after they spat their dummy out over the horses lol x
 
missyme10 said:
Suggestions aren't judgemental Cazee34, they are helpful and give others ideas to try new things.
A judgemental person would have said you're doing it all wrong, use a bitless bridle. Tut some folk, how long have u had horses etc...

Its all about how something is worded really, I just think some horsey folk often struggle to word things using the respect and manners they would use on any other subject they might discuss, its like all tact and diplomacy disappears if horses are the subject!
Hell u even see on here people ripping into others for grammer and spelling mistakes....thats after they spat their dummy out over the horses lol x
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100% agree!
 
you have to be thick skinned and laid back and go with the flow as much as you can , mind a while ago it really got to me ,there are people on every yard who know it all but dont ride people who know it all havent ever owned a horse but yes, it can get to you and creep up on you when you least expect it , best identify these people to yourself and avoid to the best of your knowlege ,avoid the times they go and be busy thats the best way unless you can buy/rent your own place
 
Yes they are (me included), they don't keep their mouths shut and are snobby.

Recently the people I used to share with brought up the subject of A again. This subject is a very sore one with me because he died after tying up after the ex had given him a bag of competition mix for Christmas dinner and not said anything - a short walk on Boxing day, one dead horsie and lareg vets bill later the sharer goes round telling everyone that he had a virus... He didn't, he was over fed on the wrong type of feed and excersised. There was nothing wrong with him. Then she starts going on about how P is looking so much happier these days. Thats because he knows his mummy is coming and he isn't going to be let down but no its because he has had a virus for the past 18 months aparently... Oh and isn't C looking much better these days. Yes because again he is being cared for properly and not being neglected but no aparently leaving a ponies hooves for 3 months before you trim them is ok because those over grown feet are actually laminitus! (she used my money to get her own done!) I don't know why but she is convinced that she knows more than vets, farriers, riding instructors, dentists, back specialists... the list is endless. Owned/ been near horses for all of 4 years absolute max and doesn't read any mags, books etc. Its madness. Drove me potty hence why we no longer share!

I bite my tounge and don't say a word. They are well known for it and I am not the only one. No point - its not going to sink in anyway. Better to just leave them be and when something doesn't look right with theirs ask if the pony is ok with out going into too much detail/ conversation. Lovely people but oh lordy.

For this reason I love my little yard. Its just me and so peaceful and quiet. I can ask my vet and farrier really dumb questions and they will answer with out being rude, offensive or treating me like some thicko. I can just enjoy my horses.
 
Yes I can think of quite a few judgemental horsey people off the top of my head. Not least of all my YO :rolleyes:

Last year I was told I should put a pelham in my soft mouthed then 4 yo to get her on the bit!!!!!
Said 4 yo has since had dentist out because she was a bit head shaky when being ridden and needed a wolf tooth out. She has been worked with great success for a year in a rubber snaffle and has now gone to a fantastic new home.

I am very much live and let live I dont interfere with anyone else and dont expect them to interfere with me or my animals. I have adopted the ******* o** attitude to horse ownership :) makes life much simpler
 
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Reason I left full livery was cos I was told "he is dangerous, only a matter of time before he kills you or someone else"!! - know how you feel Smossy. Have still got him 3 years later, we still have issues but he is not dangerous!

My horse has always got a scruffy mane - thats one of his things hates anything to do with losing any hair, mane or feathers lol (think he's an equine samson!)

I do ask for advice when I want it but take on board what suits me and my boy, other than that keep myself to myself and get on with enjoying my time with my horse
 
I don't think I've been given any stupid or unhelpful advice before by a fellow livery, not that I can think off anyway, maybe it's because I'm not on a yard where people do that, we all do our own thing and all leave each other to our own devices really, not sure I could cope with a resident gob*****e, although it would provide some much needed entertainment at times.
 
im not sure if its the horsey people who r the most judgmental, but the things that makes my blood boil are bitchy, pushy riders who thinks battering the living **** out of a mindless scared youngster is going to get anywhere....and ALSO i want to throttle the happy go lucky riders who laugh and encourage bolchy and horses with no manners to buck, nap, be inpatient, bolt....etc.. now THEY do need a kick up the arse both horse and rider lol!.....i suppose we're never going to find the correct way to ride and school/handle a horse so we are forever going to be arguing and debating lol. BUT yes, i do want to give a few riders a 'look here, bitch'! lol !! especially at competitions, jesus, women in particular can be so bitchy and competitive! a few ride and walk around with silver spoons up their arses. its so lovely and uncommon these days to see a really down to earth fair player who likes a chat and walks round with a smile. and are APPROACHABLE!....it really is down to the person.
 
came across one woman, all the gear no idea type, who told me her lame in four legs hourse didnt have INvicular. She told the vet too, and the back person, the saddler..............

she was right though lol.
 
I think ive been really really lucky after eadign other peoples experiences.
I bougtht my first horse last year and have only ever ever had one nasty comment in all that time - from an old drunk on my yard who has since been sectioned so i ignore that lol.
Everyone else has been brilliant (in real life and online including here) - offering invaluable advice when asked, generally helping me no end - offering tips and sharing their vast knowledge readily.

Im really very very grateful - but i think it depends on your personality also - if someone suggested my boys mane needed attention i dont think id burst into tears - Id rather learn and ask why?
 
I don't really mind people telling me what they think, so long as the person telling me actually knows what the hell they are on about. Someone commented on OH's "lame" pointer the other day out exercising because it had a scar on its leg- people like that shouldn't really be trusted with the responsibility of a horse themselves...
I always find it rather odd that people take their horses showing, and are then absolutely gutted/upset/angry that the judge has given their comments that the owner doesn't agree with- I mean honestly- can't take the heat stay out of the kitchen.
If I see something wrong I will say, and if I am asked to give my opinion I will quite plainly. I'm probably a horsey bitch.
 
OMG I love this!!! It's spot on!! Too many people are concerned about what everyone else is doing with THEIR horse/horses.... Every owner knows their horse better than anybody else and should never have to justify there actions or decisions!
 
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