Are there less bitches on full than diy livery?

Achinghips

Achinghips

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...at full I would suspect that minor issues with set rules goverened primarily by one professional YO may avoid many potential conflict situations (eg., like muckheaps, ordering hay and straw, bitching about farrier choice, choice of bedding, YO favourites etc) or are there simply bitches everywhere?

I'm thinking of moving to full, as every diy near me has such a bad reputation for Yard politics, whereas the competition liverys don't

Edit : Want to add a caveat to the question: I know it depends on the Yard and the people there, but I'd be interested to hear people's opinions based on their personal experiences.
 
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wrong.

ive been on both now but tbh the full livery yard iw as on was extremly snobby and a competition yard...

i walked on with a scruffy tbx (next to eventers etc :D ) - it was bitchy... but you get that at every yard imo.... its unavoidable!!

im now on DIY and just keep myself to myself and away from the bitches and its all good :)
 
I worked on a full livery yard and it was just as bad.

Even on my yard which is shared by my sister and I we have people bitching from next door...where theres women and horses, theres always going to be bitching.
 
I think the only way to avoid bitchiness is to have your own yard.

I have been on yards big and small, full and DIY and agree where there are women and horses, there will always be bitchiness.

I try and keep myself to myself and have got 2 friends out of a 50 horse yard! I also try to avoid busy times so it is quiet and I can potter about to my hearts content!

I still dont really get why people bitch. It astounds me it really does!
 
On reflection, I think maybe my question may not be the best. Perhaps, it's all down to the YO, I mean ...... if you have a bitchy one, then it'll set the atmosphere in a "top down" type of way. Likewise, if you have a fantastic, supportive, one that stamps out this type of behaviour, it will cease.

Perhaps it's all down to YO, and the culture they create due to their personalities, rather than the liveries themselves?:confused:
 
Agree to a degree with Achinghips, I think it also depends on the type of yard. I just went to the most lovely part and full livery yard today to visit my old horse I sold a year ago and everyone there gets on and are lovely, but then its a yard where everyone just happy hacks! I was on a full livery yard where people were very opinionated on horsecare and handling and it was the most bitchy and horrid yard I have been on!! Now im on a DIY yard where everyone does different things and its lovely, no bitching or anything :)
 
i've been on a part livery yard and then a DIY yard and would say that the part livery one was much more bitchy, but that was mostly due to the yard owner who was the worst one of the lots and created cliques.

On the DIY yard, everybody generally keeps themselves to themselves and we only have 2 horses per field so there doesn't tend to be arguments about so and so's horse kicked mine etc

I don't think you can totally avoid it as people have very different views when it comes to looking after horses, and these clashes of opinions create groups and groups of women love nothing better to have a good gossip in a corner.
 
To quote my dad

"All horsey women are mad due to the fact they have spent too much time bouncing up and down on the horse"

Therefor wherever you go where there are horses and women the bitching is bound to happen!

(God forbid the women that dont work or have their own income, its makes them doubly mental!!!!!) :D
 
I recently moved to DIY after having been on full and part livery for years. Yes I can confirm there are more "opinions" on DIY. HOWEVER I don't necessarily think it is true bitching, more just two-faced girls and women who like to think they are right and everyone else is wrong, so I think they see or hear someone is doing or has done something which they don't agree with and they go to another stable and start telling the person in there what said victim has done wrong. I know this because some of them come and start telling me about it, which means that they must be saying something about me to someone else. It's just the way the world is. It's the same in the office where I work - where there are a bunch of women there are a bunch of different opinions!
 
On a full livery yard people are up there less as someone else is doing their horse so yes less bitching because you never see them. But when you do see them they seem to be even more bitchy. There's gotta be a nice yard out there somewhere just keep looking :)
 
There are bitches everywhere ! i have found its helpful to always be polite to them , and let them carry on being bitches and then everyone can see how nasty they are !!

just dont drop to there level !!!

keep your chin up !
 
I think the more bitching generally correlates with the more people who compete/have competition horses.

Friends of mine who keep their horses on DIY or full livery yards where a large proportion of the occupants are family ponies/hackers or go to the odd show, seem a lot happier with the yard politics than ones who are on competition yards.
 
It's like asking the question.... are affiliated shows more bitchier than unaffiliated shows or is dressage more snobbier than show jumping !!!! It really does depend who is there ruffling the feathers !!!!
 
Been on full livery for about 6 months now, absolute bliss, no hay rota/water trough/gate left open/public ********etc etc etc for anyone to bitch about, loving it :).
 
christi said:
There are bitches everywhere ! i have found its helpful to always be polite to them , and let them carry on being bitches and then everyone can see how nasty they are !!

just dont drop to there level !!!

keep your chin up !
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I must have been walking around with my eyes and ears firmly shut for the last couple of decades as I just haven't experienced this. Yes, I have met a couple of seriously odd women along the way, but mostly people have been helpful and supportive and lovely to be around - I really don't get the whole 'bitching' reputation that yards seem to have, whether they are DIY or full livery
 
the watcher said:
I must have been walking around with my eyes and ears firmly shut for the last couple of decades as I just haven't experienced this. Yes, I have met a couple of seriously odd women along the way, but mostly people have been helpful and supportive and lovely to be around - I really don't get the whole 'bitching' reputation that yards seem to have, whether they are DIY or full livery
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i should have clarified that i was not talking about livery yards as my horses are kept at home i was just speaking in general :-)
 
in my experience it has been largely down to the YO attitude towards people mixing situations. I worked on a riding school and found the liveries incredibly snippy to each other at times and best chums at others, their horses were on full livery except in the summer. I have also worked on a competition yard and often found bitching more a problem among staff than livieries though perhaps just the mix of staff a problem and who likes whose horse/client/owner! In the competition yard the YO did not stand for bitching while at DIY yard i was at before present yard the YO often started half the fights! Luckily i was a favourite (how awful to admit that!)

I am at present on a yard where i am the only DIYer and everyone else full, most people are nice but can be quick to comment on others - often wonder what they say about me as i walk away lol. Though i dont mind i think wherever there are a lot of women spending time together everyone has off days and needs to vent some take stress out by critising others but remeber that group of girls at school who were pretty and popular and loved to put everyone down? not much difference in my opinion. I am now a nurse and find my own workplace full of nasty comments towards each other its ridiculous really as i am the youngest at 26 and find they are all trying to get me to take sides and they are all in their forties! oh dear human nature isnt pretty sometimes! Current YO is male and seems oblivious to yard politics though one client at present is really winding the staff up and i can see they are all fed up and YO not standing up for staff is creating tension!

I tend to just get by by keeping myself to myself, learned the hard way that even when people ask for help they often dont want to listen or worse a girl asked me to ride her horse once then when the horse went better for me she didnt speak to me for a month! :rolleyes: hope you find a nice yard that suits you and your horse, its such a minefield, im looking at the moment too as my yard had no winter turnout and i dont want to keep my horse that way. Somewhere for everyone i think.
 
Achinghips said:
...at full I would suspect that minor issues with set rules goverened primarily by one professional YO may avoid many potential conflict situations (eg., like muckheaps, ordering hay and straw, bitching about farrier choice, choice of bedding, YO favourites etc) or are there simply bitches everywhere?

I'm thinking of moving to full, as every diy near me has such a bad reputation for Yard politics, whereas the competition liverys don't

Edit : Want to add a caveat to the question: I know it depends on the Yard and the people there, but I'd be interested to hear people's opinions based on their personal experiences.
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NO!
 
My yard is a mix of part, full and schooling livery.
There are about 5 of us in our mid 20's, a couple in the 30's some in the 40/50's and one person is about 70.
All women.
There is a cob, an arab, connemaras, several thoroughbreds, warmbloods, ISH, etc about 25 horses in total.
There are happy hackers, local shows and fun ride type riders and BE eventers.
So basically we have people from all ages, all types of horses and people do all different things.....there is absolutely no bitchyness whatsoever.
I wouldnt say there was any difference in the attitudes of the part liverys to the full liverys in the slightest. I think its all down to the group of people you have.
I always think how lucky i am that my yard isnt bitchy. I love it. But i really feel for people who do not enjoy their yard or have to move because of constant politics.
 
the watcher said:
I must have been walking around with my eyes and ears firmly shut for the last couple of decades as I just haven't experienced this. Yes, I have met a couple of seriously odd women along the way, but mostly people have been helpful and supportive and lovely to be around - I really don't get the whole 'bitching' reputation that yards seem to have, whether they are DIY or full livery
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Me too - I have worked on yards and been a livery on yards for 24 years and I have honestly NEVER been on a yard where there is bitching...from cheap to uber expensive competition yards, never once....
 
I have my own yard and there are only 7 horses and 4 people (me included). It is really difficult, because as a yard owner you just want everyone to get on with one another, have fun, enjoy their horse while they are with you without loads of rules and regulations. You do however, only need one bad apple, even on a yard as small as mine and it upsets the whole dynamics. They start ordering everyone around telling them when they can turn their horses out and if their beds are up to scratch. They just don't seem to be able to help themselves. They feel duty bound to dole out orders and advice (whether asked for or not) Yes it is my responsibility to nip this in the bud, but when said person carries on anyway and does a good line in sulking after I have tried nicely to speak to her, it does get tricky. After all it's my home and my hobby too. I don't want to be met with someone stomping around the yard like a headmistress with particularly errant pupils, every time I get up in the morning. What do you do though. I suppose get rid of said person:(
 
jjbarney said:
I have my own yard and there are only 7 horses and 4 people (me included). It is really difficult, because as a yard owner you just want everyone to get on with one another, have fun, enjoy their horse while they are with you without loads of rules and regulations. You do however, only need one bad apple, even on a yard as small as mine and it upsets the whole dynamics. They start ordering everyone around telling them when they can turn their horses out and if their beds are up to scratch. They just don't seem to be able to help themselves. They feel duty bound to dole out orders and advice (whether asked for or not) Yes it is my responsibility to nip this in the bud, but when said person carries on anyway and does a good line in sulking after I have tried nicely to speak to her, it does get tricky. After all it's my home and my hobby too. I don't want to be met with someone stomping around the yard like a headmistress with particularly errant pupils, every time I get up in the morning. What do you do though. I suppose get rid of said person:(
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This is the reason i would not take liveries into my yard , as its also my home . and i could not be bothered with trouble.
 
I have been a quite a few yards both DIY and full and found that at lot depends on what people 'do' with their horses. ie competition people ARE generally more bitchy and 2 faced than happy hackers. The closer they are to each other in terms of competitions the bitchier they are.
It would be lovely if people on some yards just supported each other and were genuinely happy when the other person had a good comp.

Most people are nice and pleased for you on my yard but there is always the odd one that isn't and there is no need for it.

The way I see it is most of the people are my friends and I am happy if they are happy
 
urgh i think there are bitches everywhere to be honest! i hated the last livery yard i was on it was awful. I decided to get away from all that and was in a private yard before with my friend which was great, and am now the only livery keeping my 2 at someones stables at there house.
 
I have been on full, DIY and mixed, the DIY one was run by a bloke, and he was a million times worse than the other yards, which were all owned and run by women, he ended up kicking me off his yard, because, I was giving my horse a lot of time off, as I had just moved house, have two kids, both under 12 at the time, he disagreed with me giving her time off, and to add insult to injury, I ignored his advice and when he wanted to buy my horse, I refused to sell her, presto, kicked off! So, I think it depends on, other clients, YO, and general attitudes! I am on one now which offers all, DIY, part/assisted livery or full, and its a fairly happy place....most of the time!;)
 
Allover said:
To quote my dad

"All horsey women are mad due to the fact they have spent too much time bouncing up and down on the horse"

Therefor wherever you go where there are horses and women the bitching is bound to happen!

(God forbid the women that dont work or have their own income, its makes them doubly mental!!!!!) :D
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Yep your dad has got em sussed :D
 
The people on a full livery yard are no less bitchy than DIY. However, as they spend less time there and tend to go at different times, its much less of an issue.

Some full livery people have busy lives so don't want to hang around gossiping. On the other hand, because they are full livery, some have even more time to hang about. It used to amaze me at my old yard how 2 in particular could be there all day, drink about 4 coffees, fiddle about with the horses, tack and lorry/trailer, but still not actually have got around to riding!
 
Yes, I think you're right there, esp if it's a very small, quiet yard where everyone works fulltime and the Yard owner charges enough to justify a first class service.
 
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