Michen
Well-Known Member
Having serious doubts about whether I’m being an idiot to be doing this...
Brief background, used to be a very nervous rider then got fabulous Horse who took me from x poles to finding BE90s small in a matter of months. Lost said Horse in tragic horrible way. Drunkenly bought young Connemara off Facebook who arrived in horrible state from Ireland and took most of last year to get right.
He is sharp, fiery and was cut late. it got to the point where I was terrified of riding him, enlisted the help of local jockey and between the two of us riding and consistent work he has absolutely blossomed and although still very sharp (in the sense of teleporting from one side of a field to another at imaginary bush monster) is a super pony who absolutely flew around his first BE90 last week (with his jockey) to take 7th place.
His buzzy and jolly nature no longer worries me, in fact I adore hacking him he’s great fun, and he is an extremely honest and genuine jumper. But... if I’m really honest I am still tying myself up in knots with nerves when I have jumping lessons at 70cm. It’s nothing he’s done, he has never been anything but totally genuine to jump, it’s just the fact he’s not Basil and I’ve had a long gap from jumping and am essentially back where I started. That said the other day I went xc schooling and out of no where suddenly recovered some bottle and jumped a bunch of 80’s and even the odd 90’s, yet back home I barely want to go over an x pole...
So I have entered Elmwood 70cm this weekend and have swayed from being desperate to go and gutted that I’ll likely withdraw due to hard ground, then delighted when they posted pics of aerovating and reports of lovely spongy going, to now dread at the thought that really I don’t now have an excuse not to go. I don’t know if I’m being an idiot, I’ve done no showjumping comps on him, no hunter trials, I’m not jumping above 70cm at Home and I’ve jumped about 10 xc fences at 80cm since October 2016 which was the last time I evented around a 90cm track. Half of me thinks, the horse is prepared and super and I would have to do something catastrophic to muck it up and that I might actually perform better with some Adrenalin/comp situation. The other half of me thinks I’m horrendously unprepared and may take my lovely talented horse out and completely muck him up when he’s going so well and has had so much invested in him. I actually feel on the edge of tears at the thought of going and “eventing” with a horse that’s not my much loved Basil, and wonder if I actually do want to d this ever again, and then I wonder if I don’t why on Earth I’ve invested money in him having a talented rider produce him into a fantastic horse if I’m not going to bother to do it myself one day.
Answers on a postcard? I guess my options are a) go and hope that comp situation will give me the kicking I need and old instincts will kick in, my previous Horse whilst super was green and it shouldn’t be beyond me to get around a 70cm given what I used to jump b) withdraw, have more lessons at home and make sure I’m finding 70cm utterly boring (but will I ever!?) before even thinking about going out.
I don’t think he will be doing much over summer unless it’s wet as he has had issues in his hooves and I don’t want to risk hard summer ground. So there is an element of if I don’t do it now, I won’t do it until autumn. If you’ve got this far.... I applaud you
Pic of my current boy to make this less dull and my old boy below so I know in theory I CAN do it
Brief background, used to be a very nervous rider then got fabulous Horse who took me from x poles to finding BE90s small in a matter of months. Lost said Horse in tragic horrible way. Drunkenly bought young Connemara off Facebook who arrived in horrible state from Ireland and took most of last year to get right.
He is sharp, fiery and was cut late. it got to the point where I was terrified of riding him, enlisted the help of local jockey and between the two of us riding and consistent work he has absolutely blossomed and although still very sharp (in the sense of teleporting from one side of a field to another at imaginary bush monster) is a super pony who absolutely flew around his first BE90 last week (with his jockey) to take 7th place.
His buzzy and jolly nature no longer worries me, in fact I adore hacking him he’s great fun, and he is an extremely honest and genuine jumper. But... if I’m really honest I am still tying myself up in knots with nerves when I have jumping lessons at 70cm. It’s nothing he’s done, he has never been anything but totally genuine to jump, it’s just the fact he’s not Basil and I’ve had a long gap from jumping and am essentially back where I started. That said the other day I went xc schooling and out of no where suddenly recovered some bottle and jumped a bunch of 80’s and even the odd 90’s, yet back home I barely want to go over an x pole...
So I have entered Elmwood 70cm this weekend and have swayed from being desperate to go and gutted that I’ll likely withdraw due to hard ground, then delighted when they posted pics of aerovating and reports of lovely spongy going, to now dread at the thought that really I don’t now have an excuse not to go. I don’t know if I’m being an idiot, I’ve done no showjumping comps on him, no hunter trials, I’m not jumping above 70cm at Home and I’ve jumped about 10 xc fences at 80cm since October 2016 which was the last time I evented around a 90cm track. Half of me thinks, the horse is prepared and super and I would have to do something catastrophic to muck it up and that I might actually perform better with some Adrenalin/comp situation. The other half of me thinks I’m horrendously unprepared and may take my lovely talented horse out and completely muck him up when he’s going so well and has had so much invested in him. I actually feel on the edge of tears at the thought of going and “eventing” with a horse that’s not my much loved Basil, and wonder if I actually do want to d this ever again, and then I wonder if I don’t why on Earth I’ve invested money in him having a talented rider produce him into a fantastic horse if I’m not going to bother to do it myself one day.
Answers on a postcard? I guess my options are a) go and hope that comp situation will give me the kicking I need and old instincts will kick in, my previous Horse whilst super was green and it shouldn’t be beyond me to get around a 70cm given what I used to jump b) withdraw, have more lessons at home and make sure I’m finding 70cm utterly boring (but will I ever!?) before even thinking about going out.
I don’t think he will be doing much over summer unless it’s wet as he has had issues in his hooves and I don’t want to risk hard summer ground. So there is an element of if I don’t do it now, I won’t do it until autumn. If you’ve got this far.... I applaud you
Pic of my current boy to make this less dull and my old boy below so I know in theory I CAN do it
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